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Shit. Damian thought. It’s been the fourth mission in a row and he keeps making the same mistakes.
“What the hell was that Damian?” Dick asked as soon as the team entered their home. He was pissed because this was the fourth mission Damian had compromised.
The truth was, Damian had no idea what was wrong with him. If he had to guess what started this whole shit show, it would be when his father came to supervise one of their training sessions. It’s as if whatever Damian did, his father had a say in it.
Apparently his punch formation, the way he defends himself and the way he attacks are all wrong. He knows that his father was not trying to hurt him with his critiques, but whenever he said something about him, it was like he was back in the league, where everything he did was judged.
He must have zoned out with his thoughts because Dick seemed to be in the middle of a rant.
“What is wrong with you, Damian? You were fine a few days ago and now you're acting like you were when you first got here” Dick accused. And this, this question, was Damian's final straw.
"What’s wrong with me? Lets see, I’m the result of a drug rape, I didn’t meet my father until I was 12, I was raised by assassins, I’ve been tortured, beaten down and killed. And that is only scraping the surface Grayson, so take your pick.” Damian exclaimed, he was just done. Done with his father, and with the world.
“And you want to know why I’ve been acting like this? It's because I'm not good enough for anyone! Not father! Not mother or grandfather!" The titans said nothing, they didn’t know what to say to this confession that escaped Damian's mouth.
"When father came to visit us, all he did was ridicule me. It was like he wanted to tear me down. Bit by bit until there was nothing left of me. His voice haunts my thoughts, and now it’s like I'm back in the league, where if I make one mistake I’ll be punished by something worse than death." The fear and vulnerability in his voice and eyes shocked Dick, his little brother has never once said anything about his feelings and he hates that he had no idea Damian was struggling so much.
Damian sighs, he looks at his teammates who are unusually quiet. He locks eyes with Raven who is staring at him with an unreadable expression.
“I’m sorry for messing up, It’s just that now all I think of when I’m about to fight is fathers and grandfather's critiques of me. I just can’t stop doubting myself.” He said, staring at the floor in dismay. He feels disappointed in himself for complaining, he knows he shouldn’t be sorry, that doesn’t stop him though.
“You don’t need to apologise, Hermano,” Jaime said, breaking the deafening silence.
"We're sorry you’ve been going through that." Kori said, shooting Damian a sad smile.
“We would have helped you if we’d known what was going through that pretty head of yours” Donna said, making Damian lift his eyes to meet her comforting gaze.
He nods in response to his teammates and locks eyes with Raven again, who still hasn't said a word.
Suddenly, she moves towards him, no one questions her as she walks up to him with determination. She stares at him. Emerald eyes meeting violet. After what seems like forever, she pulls Damian into a hug, and bring her face in the crook of his neck.
Damian tenses in her hold, before visibly relaxing and wrapping his arms around her. Closing his eyes as her warmth elopes him.
“You don’t need to apologise for being you” She mumbles against his neck. Damian said nothing but pulled her closer to himself.
After a few minutes of no one saying anything Dick breaks the silence. “Can I just say off the record that you guys would make a cute couple?”
The titans laugh and this breaks the tension in the room and they laugh harder when Damian lifts his head and scowls at Dick.
“Funny Grayson” Damian deadpanned. Little did his brother know, he and Raven were already in a relationship.
When the laughter calmed down, and silenced returned Damian looked at his team. His family. His teammates were the only ones who could make him feel safe. Loved. And when Damian looks at the women in his arms, he realised that everything would be okay.