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You awoke to the sound of metal hitting wood.
“Shit!” You registered Ellie’s voice as she whisper screamed from across the dark room.
Opening your eyes, you saw the flashlight rolling across the hardwood floor next to you. You watched it for a moment before looking up to where Ellie was supposed to be sleeping. She met your eyes like a deer in headlights. Half out of bed, half reaching for what you assumed she had dropped on the floor.
You and Joel had offered the only bed to Ellie. You would tell her it was out of kindness, but the truth is, Joel was too embarrassed to share a bed with you in front of the teenager.
“You okay?” Your whisper seemingly caught the girl off guard.
“Yeah, yeah fine.” She retrieved her flashlight and quickly got back into bed.
You sat up, checking your barely ticking watch to see that it was well into the small hours of the morning.
“Trouble sleeping?”
A few months ago, you would’ve kept your mouth shut in this situation. But now, when you’ve grown overly attached to Ellie, a relationship described best as a weird parent-child situation, you had felt as though you were adopting Ellie in some sort of way. Two weeks ago you taught her how to ride a bike, after finding one in good condition on your travels. You remembered how Joel laughed when she screamed while riding straight into the bushes. It was genuinely one of your happiest moments.
Ellie would never admit it now, but you and Joel had taken on extremely parent-like roles in this makeshift family of three. Joel was the practical, no-nonsense, never emotional dad, and you-
God, Ellie didn’t even know what to call you. Motherly at times, but also not? It was a mixture of everything good Ellie thought a parent would be and your mom’s best friend who lets you watch commercials and eat junk food while babysitting you. You were kind to her. Made her laugh. She felt like you were a piece of home, carved out of her heart and served in a steaming pile of real childhood. She loved when you’d offer to do her hair in the mornings, since you were one of the lucky people who kept a hairbrush. Everyday you would put up her silky brown hair into braids, buns, ponytails, whatever she was in the mood for.
Joel secretly loved watching you interact with Ellie. So when he awoke to the sound of the flashlight as well, he didn’t go back to sleep when he heard you.
“Yeah,” Ellie responded, her eyes glued to the floor, “‘Afraid of the nightmares.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
For some reason, Ellie really hated this, you always were able to draw out whatever emotions she was trying to suppress. So when she heard your question ring out, Ellie couldn’t stop the tears welling in her eyes. The truth was, nightmares had been plaguing her the past few weeks, so much so, Ellie was staying up to avoid them. Reading her comics underneath the safety of her sleeping bag, wasting flashlight battery until the sun came up.
“Oh, honey,” You whispered at the sight of her tears spilling over and down her cheeks, “Come here.”
You opened your arms to Ellie and she could do nothing else but fall into them. Your right hand petting her hair as she sobbed into your chest.
“It’s okay, baby,” You soothed, left hand rubbing circles into her back, “You’re okay.”
Joel was still awake, watching the scene quietly from his own sleeping bag, silent as a mouse taking in the domesticity in front of him. His chest fluttered, watching the two people he cared for most in this world be so close. Watching you act this way made him fall deeper and deeper into the never ending pit that was his love for you.
“You wanna sleep next to me?” You asked Ellie after she had calmed down a tad.
“Yeah,” Her voice came out broken from the tears and salvia, which only cause your heart to break even more.
You unzipped your sleeping bag a little so that she could slide in beside you. As she settled, you started to pet her hair again, “There you go, nice and comfy.”
“Thank you.” Ellie whispered out into the darkness.
“Don’t worry about it, kiddo.” Your eyes were already drooping, “I’ll always be here to take care of you, okay?”
“Okay.” Her voice was still shaky from the tears.
Joel’s heart was thoroughly thawed. Mostly by you and how you’d handled the situation. He doesn’t remember when you started caring about Ellie, but he knew it was long before he did. The whole scene made him wish he could marry you and adopt Ellie on the spot. There was this hole in his chest and for some reason his heart was telling him to fill it with a domestic life. A life with the two of you. A house, a farm, a dog, a fireplace and a kitchen. A garden and fields and maybe even a fucking tractor. His mind led him to this dream more and more often as the days with you and Ellie passed on. He wished he could play guitar for you, since you loved music, and teach it to Ellie so that she could make you smile too. He wanted, more than anything, to be a father again. To have you be there with him, as the two of you raise this wonderful girl together. He dreamed of you and her throughout the night.
The next morning Joel awoke to you curled around Ellie’s smaller body, holding her like she was the last thing you’d ever lose.
He made sure the two of you were plenty tucked in before heading off to do his morning rounds. Checking all entrances and exits, making sure nothing was out of the ordinary, then finally looking through, counting and organizing supplies. After he’d finished, Joel came back to the bedroom to find the two of you still passed out. Ellie had now turned over, her head laying neatly against your chest and your chin tucked over it.
He sighed to himself, watching for a moment, before moving on to clean his guns in the other room.
You awoke sometime later, Ellie’s soft snores slowly lifting you out of sleep. You laid there for a few minutes, taking in the sight of her chest rising and falling. Her eyelashes fluttered from dreams. Eventually, you left the child to her sleep, the day was starting and you had work to do.
You found Joel working on his rifle. Metal parts strewn about on what you supposed used to be a nice dining table. Now it was barely standing after twenty years of you abandonment. He was facing away from you, giving you the opportunity to sneak up behind him and press kisses into his neck. He jumped at the first one, but quickly melted into your touch.
“Good morning,” He chuckled.
“Hi,” You smiled against his skin.
“Sleep well?” His voice was quiet and soft, the vibrations releasing butterflies into your stomach.
“Mhm,” You hummed, your chin resting on his shoulder.
For a few minutes you simply watched as his fingers carefully pieced the rifle back together, listening to the metallic and wooden clicks.
“I like watching you do things like this.” You whispered as he finished up.
“Why?” He questioned.
“Because you’re so gentle.” You traced his palm with your finger tip, “The way you put everything together so focused and careful, it’s pretty sexy.”
“Oh,” Joel smirked, turning around to face you, “That’s what it is, huh?”
“Mhm,” You bit your bottom lip, holding back a smile, “Exactly that.”
He leaned in to kiss you, softy at first, but quickly becoming heated. His hands gripped your waist tightly, as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Joel slipped his tongue into your mouth and you graciously obeyed, whimpering under his touch.
“Oh EW!” Ellie shouted. You let out a scream, caught by surprise in a vulnerable moment and te both of you jumped away from each other at the sound of your some-what adopted daughter. Joel awkwardly looked away from you as your eyes fell to the carpet.
“Sorry, Ellie,” You apologized, embarrassed beyond belief, “Didn’t know you were awake.”
“S’fine,” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and let out a yawn, “I shouldn’t have yelled, sorry for scaring you guys.”
“It’s okay, we’re fine.” Joel patted your shoulder before picking up his rifle and leaning it against the wall next to his bag.
“Definitely more than fine, if you ask me,” Ellie added with a smirk.
“Shut up.” You and Joel retorted in unison. Your cheeks were hot and stomach was full of butterflies.
After a long silence, Joel started, “Well, we got work to do so let’s not dawdle.”
The day was like any other, calm and simple with an edge of that underlying survival instinct, that you weren’t sure would ever disappear. Joel and Ellie would prod and poke each other’s buttons, starting a fire that only you really had the ability to extinguish. The tired ache in your bones as you stretched in front of the fire. The smile he’d give you whenever Ellie copied one of your habits. The smokey coals when you’d wake up the next morning, the three of you curled up together; a family.