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A soft knock on the entrance to the servant's hall makes Phyllis Baxter sit up and take her focused gaze away from her rattling sewing machine.
Frowning, she glances at the ticking clock on the wall beside her. Quarter to eleven. The family has already gone to sleep, as well as the maids, who will be shooed out of their beds early again tomorrow. But this evening, for once, everyone has been happy to retire early.
It is the evening after the departure of the royal visit, and gradually the daily hectic pace, which is, however, occasionally interrupted by rare and therefore no less precious breaks of rest, seems to be taking hold again.
But now Phyllis' long-awaited end of the day is interrupted by someone and Phyllis wonders who should want something from her at this late hour. In such emergencies, the staff usually turn to the butler.
But now Phyllis is paused and a twitch runs through her body. Unless…
'Come in.'
The door opens carefully and slowly, dragging an imperceptible squeak with it. Even before the door has fully opened and revealed to her a view of the corridor and thus of the unexpected visitor, Phyllis already knows who is doing her the honour here.
'Thomas', her voice sounds surprised, but her pleased undertone and broad smile betray her nonetheless.
The butler, who is standing in the doorway with his arms folded behind his back and visibly tense, gives her a nervous smile.
'I… I hope I'm not disturbing you', he murmurs and looks back into the corridor.
'Otherwise, I can… I can leave', his voice now sounds frantic, almost choppy, and Phyllis can no longer help a worried frown.
Thomas Barrow is not a person who gets nervous easily. Let alone a person who would show this, in his eyes, 'weakness' to other people.
'Except in the presence of a well-spoken, philosophical royal valet,' adds a quiet, perky voice in her head. Phyllis has to grin imperceptibly. That she instinctively realised this the moment Richard Ellis set foot across the threshold of Downton Abbey and looked at the house butler with that encouraging look is something she will probably take to her grave.
Phyllis gives him an encouraging smile and points invitingly to the wooden chair on the other side of the table.
'No problem. Have a seat.'
For a moment it looks as if Thomas is considering escape, but finally he seems to bethink himself and takes shaky steps to the chair and sinks into it with a sigh.
Phyllis looks at his slumped figure and cannot help but notice that Thomas Barrow looks like a heap of misery at this moment.
'What happened?', her voice is low, careful, as if she is afraid of saying the wrong thing. To push herself forward. Of not giving him enough space.
Thomas looks at her. With those questioning, pleading eyes that reflect pain and hope at the same time.
And in this moment Thomas suddenly seems to Phyllis like the child again who confessed to her at the age of fourteen that he had kissed Johnny in her parallel class in the school playground.
Just as frightened and insecure, for fear of being met with hatred and dislike. But finally, when Phyllis already feels that she has to pull every word out of his nose one by one, it gushes out of Thomas like a fountain shooting from an open valve into the air.
'We kissed. Rich… I mean… Mr. Ellis and I. We kissed and he… he gave me this. So I can… think of him.'
With trembling fingers, Thomas fumbles around in the pocket of his jacket until he finally pulls out a small, silver pendant in the shape of a crescent moon and holds it out to Phyllis in the palm of his outstretched arm.
Phyllis smiles as she looks at the pendant.
'Pretty.'
Immediately Thomas' gaze clouds over and he seems lost in his own thoughts as he gazes dreamily at the ceiling.
'I think so too' he murmurs, 'He has those eyes. That deep, blue iris that can see inside you, read your thoughts. That smile, sweeter than any smile I've ever seen. So full of pride and love.'
Phyllis smirks 'Actually, I meant the pendant.'
Immediately Thomas flinches as if she has caught him doing something forbidden and his cheeks turn pink.
'I… I mean…', he stammers, but Phyllis takes his hand in hers in an encouraging gesture and gently strokes the back of his hand.
'I know what you mean. And I couldn't be prouder of you.'
Thomas' eyes fill with tears and he circles the table to fall into Phyllis' arms.
'How… how… did you know?', he sniffs and Phyllis can't help smiling fondly while her right hand is absently stroking his hair.
'Did I know? Of course I knew. I knew as soon as Mr. Richard 'pendant' Ellis took a step over the threshold of this house.'
Thomas is aware that he probably doesn't look too intelligent right now with his open mouth and widened, shocked eyes, yet he really can't help himself right now.
This woman surprises him again and again. And in a more than positive way.
Now Phyllis grins 'And besides… what other reason could I have had to encourage you to go to York with him?'
For a moment, Thomas just stares at her, his eyes widening in shock and surprise. But then, out of nowhere, he starts laughing.
His loud, clear laugh, which Phyllis unfortunately hears far too rarely.
His laugh, which fills the room and makes him shine a little more.
His laugh that turns the bitter, snarky butler into this young, kind and compassionate man that Phyllis has learned to love like a brother.
This man who would give you the stars if you steal yourself in his heart.
This man with the kindest smile, the sweetest blush and the loudest laugh.
This man who deserves so much more than a life in the shadows, full of hatred and secrecy.
Phyllis smiles. Oh, how she has missed that laugh.
Thomas looks at her with a look of affection and happiness.
'I knew it. I knew it', he giggles, his eyes still fixed on the Lady's maid.
Phyllis is now grinning herself, 'So? I suppose it won't be just this one kiss and the pendant?'
Thomas still smiles dreamily 'He promised to write me. And to visit us. His parents live in York and he promised me he'd stop by when he visits them.'
Phyllis' eyes fill with tears of joy and she embraces Thomas, who at first recoils, but then hesitantly lets himself fall into the embrace and even returns it.
'I don't know how I can ever thank you for this',Thomas murmurs and hugs Phyllis a little tighter.
'Go to Joseph and tell him to finally ask me to marry him', Phyllis replies with a grin.
Thomas is already moving towards the door, but Phyllis stops him with a laugh.
'Thomas… I was joking.'
Thomas grins 'I know you were, but I'm afraid it will come to that sooner or later, since old Moseley is otherwise taking his time until you're seventy.'
'I hope he's a little quicker than that', Phyllis murmurs and Thomas smiles.
'And now go. I'm sure Mr. Ellis is already waiting eagerly for the first letter from you', with these words the housekeeper shoos the butler out of the room and Thomas sticks his tongue out at her provocatively.
But that sparkle has appeared in his eyes.
That sparkle that Phyllis has long missed all these years. Swallowed up by the infinite emptiness and pain that enveloped Thomas' eyes, made his soul heavy. Enveloped him like a cocoon.
But now this little seed in Thomas' soul is blossoming again. Delicate and fragile, but full of hope and new courage.
And Phyllis can only hope that Mr Ellis will break through this cocoon, water the seed. Take good care of it.
And he will. Because otherwise Phyllis would not have let Thomas go to York that day.