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Human stories talk about tears a lot. About how they fall onto a loved one’s face as you hold them in your arms, begging them not to go, even as the blood drains from their face and their breathing gets faint, until you can’t feel a heartbeat beneath your palm when you press it to their chest.
In the ocean, the tears mix with water and vanish before they can stain your face. The only sign that you’re crying is the way your eyes slowly redden.
Theo’s eyes are getting there now. He cradles Orion in his arms, sand pressing against his scales where they sit on the seafloor, blood blooming out into the water like some horrible flower.
Faye swam to get healing potions. Nel, Krit, and Moki are nearby, but Theo doesn’t notice, nor does he care. His focus is on the orca in his arms and the stab wound in his abdomen, just where pale skin begins shifting to black scales.
“Theo,” Orion croaks.
Theo jumps. He got lost in his panic. “Yeah?” he murmurs. It’s the best he can offer in the face of the terror coursing in his veins. “I’m here.”
Orion smiles weakly. His eyes, which had been closed, crack open. The red of his irises match the haze of blood around them. Theo’s stomach flips, and he slams his own eyes shut against the wave of nausea.
“Hey.” A cold hand taps at Theo’s. “Sweetheart. Theo.”
Theo forces himself to look at his boyfriend. It’s the least he can do for him while he’s fucking dying. They both know Faye won’t get back in time. Orion’s second life is draining into the water around them, and after this, he will only have one.
Jormun’s face appears in Theo’s mind. His entire being had glowed blue when he stabbed Orion, eyes burning brighter than stars at night. The water had gotten cold, despite the summer sun continuing to shine down from above.
Then Jormun yanked his sword out. Everything returned to normal, but Orion crumpled, and Jormun swam away laughing. Theo doesn’t know why he didn’t attack the rest of them. For fuck’s sake, he’s their best protector and he’s useless, incapacitated by Orion’s side. This is exactly the weakness Theo was trying to avoid. Faye could have died if Jormun hadn’t left; but Theo…he doesn’t regret it. All he cares about is being by Orion.
“Theo?”
His boyfriend is even paler than usual. A blue hue has appeared on his lips––he doesn’t have long. Theo presses his lips together against a sob. “Yes?”
Orion’s fingers twitch. Theo takes his hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. Normally, their kisses are fun, full of hope and excitement and the simple ecstasy of loving someone. This one just feels like an inadequate display of the pain in Theo’s heart. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Theo chokes on the words. He’s useless. He should have been able to save him! He’d been holding his trident, he has good aim, he could have sent it straight into Jormun’s skull. It wouldn’t have killed him, but it would’ve given them time to run, and then Orion wouldn’t be dying and they’d be safe and they could leave all of this behind and find somewhere new––
“For staying.” Again, Orion’s voice pulls Theo from his mind. Despite the pain he must be in, his face is relaxed. He looks into Theo’s eyes with a gaze that’s almost content. “I don’t want to be alone.”
Theo can’t hold back the sob this time. He nods, cupping Orion’s cheek with his free hand. “I’m not leaving.”
“Meet me at spawn?”
Orion last slept in the village. With his trident, Theo can be there in minutes. “Of course.”
“Good…” Orion’s eyes slip closed.
No. No. Desperately, Theo checks Orion’s pulse. It’s there, but it’s weak. He sobs again, leaning forward to press his forehead against Orion’s chest. Every particle of his body is crying out, begging whatever controls all this––God? Fate? Some narrator playing with their lives who thought this would make a good story?––not to do this. It’s not a plea he can voice in any language that exists, but he does his best when he cries, “Please don’t go. Please––please.”
His answer is a small groan of pain from Orion. And that’s when Theo begins to sing.
He can’t save Orion. Nothing can. But he can make it hurt less.
“ You’re okay. You’re alright. I’ll never, ever leave your side.”
It’s a song he heard in Evertide, one people sang to loved ones as they died in the hospital. Few had the power to put any magic into the words, but that was never the point. The song was to remind the loved ones that they weren’t dying alone. It promised protection, and remembrance. Theo puts every ounce of his pain into it, and directs it with the sole intent of taking away Orion’s. Give it to me. I’ll carry it. I can’t save you, but I can do this.
“I will stay, and I will fight with you.”
He hums the melody. Little by little, Orion’s muscles relax. The tension bleeds from his face and leaves it peaceful. How do humans describe it? Like sleeping. Mer don’t think much about how corpses look. Bodies are magically burned almost immediately after death to protect them from scavengers in the water.
Theo presses a kiss to Orion’s forehead and continues the song.
“You’re okay. You’re alright. I’ll stay here through the darkest night.”
The last lyrics hurt. When they end, Orion will be gone. Theo can feel it in the fading pulse beneath his fingers. He sings the last words so quietly they’re almost imperceptible, head bent over Orion’s face.
“All the way, I will fight…with you.”
Orion’s lips part. He sighs––the last of his breath leaves him––and his pulse stops. Something cracks in Theo, and the body in his arms dissolves, turning to bubbles that get swept away in the ocean current.
For a moment, there’s silence. The world is too big, too empty, too dangerous. Everything is glass, fragile and ready to break.
It’s Moki who shatters it.
“Theo?” he swims forward, reaching out, and Theo shoots away from him.
“I have to go,” he chokes out, and leaves his friends behind, throwing his trident and flying after it. The world blurs as he traverses the water, moving towards Orion, who will be waking up any minute, on his last life.
This time, Theo will protect him. Jormun will never hurt anyone he loves ever again.