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At the start of seventh year Remus finally, FINALLY, got a packer. He had started transitioning a few years back, but Remus never knew when to pinpoint the date. Should it be the day he first got his hair cut short, the day he first wore a binder or perhaps the day he first acted on his long suppressed feelings. Whatever it should be that was a discussion for a different day because today was dick day, as Sirius had dubbed it.
Remus had had the package delivered to the Potter mansion because James said his parents didn't question his mail just handed it over. And he hadn't exactly felt comfortable saying "Hey mom, dad I've ordered myself a penis and it'll arrive in the next few days. So if there's a parcel for me in the muggle mail, that's what it is." Because his parents liked to question everything out of the ordinary. And Remus receiving mail from the muggle world definitely didn't happen on the regular.
Remus had managed to drag his parents to the station earlier than usual without raising too much suspicion. He couldn't see any of his friends on the crowded platform so after hurried goodbyes to his parents and promises to work hard he boarded the train and began glancing in the cabins for any sign of them. He had no look. So instead Remus made himself comfortable in an empty cabin and began drumming his fingers on his suitcase in nervous excitement.
Not too long after Peter found him, now bouncing his leg.
Remus kept checking his watch and grew more nervous as the minute hand crept past the hour hand and closer to twelve. Sirius and James weren't great at timekeeping and they were never early for things so Remus told himself not to worry. But it didn't work. Especially when he heard the whistle blow when his watch still read one minute to eleven and he felt the train begin to move off. He shared a look with Peter. His first thought was that James and Sirius had actually managed to miss the train. His second thought was that his watch must be slow but that seemed like a minor issue at the moment.
The train had barely moved out of the station when the carriage door was flung open and Sirius and James stumbled in breathless.
"Sorry." James began but had to stop for a moment and cough before he could continue. "Sirius made us late and so we had to run but the muggle station was really crowded. We to get through to the platform just in time to get on at the back of the train."
"Just for the record." Sirius felt the need to add. "It was definitely Prongs that made us late. He couldn't find his gift for Evans."
"That may be true. But I wasn't the one who wasted more time mocking me about it."
Remus knew that if he didn't break it up the two would bicker on for eons. "Whatever the reason I'm glad you made it. It would be an awfully long train ride without your holiday stories to put me to sleep." Remus couldn't help but smile as James frowned and Sirius gasped very dramatically.
"How dare you, my holiday stories would make a best selling series. It would be called Sirius Black. The first novel could be Sirius Black And The Old Gardener's Gnome. An epic retelling of how I stealthily liberated a gnome from the clutches of the old gardener next door."
"Stole a garden gnome is what Sirius means." Clarified James with raised eyebrows. "If I recall correctly you'd drunk rather a lot before deciding it was a grand idea. And there was nothing stealthy about it."
"Quit ruining my fun. Anyways, Rem do you know what time it is?" Sirius seemed to grow excited while asking the question.
"Umm." Mumbled Remus as he glanced at his watch. "Around quarter past eleven. Why?" He began to ask but Sirius cut him off.
"Wrong!" Sirius began searching through one of the suitcases that James had been carrying. "It's cock o'clock!" Sirius brandished a small ish package and handed it to Remus.
Peter blushed at the mention of cock and mumbled some half baked excuse before slipping out of the carriage.
"If anyone does not like dicks as a topic of conversation you may exit the cabin now." Sirius shouted after Peter. "I for one love a good old dick chat just as much as the next person." Sirius only grinned harder at James' groan of 'fuck you Pads.'
***
"Remus!" Yelled Sirius from the bathroom attached to their dorm. "You left your dick in here again." A moment later Sirius appeared in the dorm waving the packer above his head. Remus made to grab for it but Sirius held it out of his reach.
"Come on Padfoot, give it back. You know sometimes I go to pee and forget I was wearing it that day."
"Now now Moony." Sirius was using a mock serious tone. "You know some people in this dorm aren't as fond of seeing phallic objects as I am. So be lucky it was me who found it first."
Remus made to take his packer back but Sirius still held it out of reach. Instead Remus thought to try a different tactic. "Okay pads I'll make sure the only time you see my dick from now on is when you get me naked." Sirius couldn't help but imagine that.
Whilst Sirius mind was else where Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius. As Remus had anticipated Sirius took the hint and began kissing him even embracing him back.
Remus took his opportunity and grabbed his packer before Sirius could move it out of reach again. Sirius made the most ridiculously affronted face that Remus couldn't help laughing at.
***
Peter and James were still at breakfast but Remus was getting dressed for the trip to Hogsmeade. He kept glancing across the room to where Sirius was attempting to get rid of those little wispy hairs.
"Damn it Moony!" Sirius snapped after much futile trying. "It's too windy for me to go out with it down. It'll just yet in my face. But these little," Here Sirius made a strained noise and gestured to all the little hairs that were sticking out. "won't reach a bobble and hairspray just isn't working."
Remus finally succeeded in removing his packer with his trousers still on, having decided not to wear it at the last minute. He placed it in the top draw of his bed side table and sat down cross-legged on his bed. He patted the space in front of him. "Come here. I'll plait your hair for you."
Sirius sat. Remus ran his hands through Sirius' soft hair to make sure it was tangle free then he kneeled so he could reach better and picked up the first pieces of hair. Remus paused. It was a while since he'd done a french plait and he wanted to make sure he got this right. Once he began his fingers seemed to know what they were doing. As he reached the ends of Sirius' hair he reached for the bobble Sirius was offering and tied it off.
"There you go." Said Remus quite proud of his handiwork.
Sirius patted the plait tentatively. "I've never had my hair in a plait before." Sirius reached to feel the plait all the way to its end just below the shoulder blades. "Thank you Remus. I love it. It makes me feel really pretty."
"You look really pretty." Remus replied as Sirius turned round to face him. "And it will keep all your hair from sticking out. Though," he said as an after thought. "you should probably still use hairspray."
They leaned in to kiss reaching out to each other but before their lips could touch Sirius pulled back. "I'm warning you, don't ruin this fabulous hair."