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A few nights ago, Maple told the Shingancrimsonz that they had work. A battle of the bands against Criticrista. Of course, the group was all for it, and got extremely pumped up.
But this is not what Maple said it would be.
Apparently, there was a communication error along the way, and “rap battle” sounded like “battle of the bands” to the crimson idiot squad. And they weren’t prepared for this at all. Fuck.
“Hey, Rom!” Crow shouted as he pointed a finger in the leopard’s face. “I thought you said this would be a battle of the bands!”
Rom swatted the hedgehog’s hand away. “That’s what Maple told me it was! Don’t blame me, I don’t expect it either!”
“We are not prepared at all. Hence, none of us can rap.” Yaiba spoke up.
“Not to worry. Those girls will tremble once they see they are in presence of a God.” Aion posed.
“Shut up, Aion! Your stupid God act won’t help us win this thing!” Crow began to act like a piss baby.
“Hence, your Legend Of Shouting won’t help us either.”
“What did you say, Yaiba!?”
“SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!” Rom punched his three bandmates right in the face, knocking them all off of their feet. “Arguing like this isn’t going to help solve anything! Sure, none of us have really tried rapping in the past, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be bad at it! We shouldn’t give up before this thing even starts!”
The three losers began to sob as shoujo sparkles began to fly all around them.
“R-Rom…. You’re right!”
“As expected of someone with a full time job, hence…”
“To think he could convince even a dark god….”
It was time. The battle would finally begin. And the crimson nerds were shaking like crazy. Oh god, maybe this was a bad idea after all…
The curtain rose, and the battle began.
Crow was up first. He shakily moved up to the front of the stage, mic in his hand. “Uh…. I…” Bam. He passed out right there on the spot. Resteroni in pepperoni you goddamn hedgehog.
Rosia was up next, and she skipped up to the stage like it was nothing. She gave a peace sign and winked at the crowd, and they all went wild. Sure, she was cute, but there was no way she could rap, right?
Wrong. Rosia fucking SLAYED. Who knew someone so small could hold so many sick rhymes. She went back to the back of the stage and stuck her tongue out at the three losers who weren’t passed out.
Well, good luck Yaiba, it’s your turn next. He waddled up to the front of the stage, and took a deep breath.
Well, his rhymes wouldn’t be too bad, if it weren’t for the fact that he kept sticking in “Hence” and “Legend of” in every goddamn sentence. Damn Yaiba stop being weird for two goddamn seconds.
Tsukino was up next, and she slayed just as hard as Rosia did. Fuck, the Shingancrimsonz were in trouble now.
Rom confidently strode up to the front of the stage, and immediately forgot everything that he was going to say. Whoops. He stuttered through an entire rap, which made zero sense and hardly rhymed in the first place. Well shit.
Holmy went after Rom. She wasn’t quite as good as the two girls before her, but damn she was far better than any of the Shingancrimsonz could ever hope to be.’
Aion went to the front of the stage, and began to pose as he began to ramble about how great of a god he was. It wasn’t even a damn rap. It didn’t go with the beat at all. The entire audience burst into laughter, which caused Aion to glare at them.
Jaclyn was last. And she was damn near Nicki Minaj God Tier level.
The entire audience burst out into cheers, clearly indicating Criticrista’s total and complete slaughter on Shingancrimsonz. Somehow, the sounds of the cheers woke up Crow. Apparently, he thought the cheers were for him, because he went right up to the microphone and raised his arms in victory. “Thanks, you cattle! We couldn’t have done it without you!”
Rosia nearly pissed her pants with how hard she was laughing.
After that day, Shingancrimsonz agreed to never rap again.