Chapter Text
1
"We should head for the west tomorrow" thought Rukia as she sensed a strong wind carrying a chill tone from the opposite direction. Maybe they could find better supplies in those parts, seeing as though they barely scraped to stay alive here. She was keeping her mind occupied as she checked for other dangers which might come up to the temporary camp they settled near a few trees that provided them some cover.
Looking briefly at the other boys she joined a few months ago, the short girl couldn't help but let out a light smile at the family she had now. The others were now asleep, Rukia choosing to stay and guard the shack from any attacks before another would take up on the lookout.
As she scrutinized the surroundings, the ebony-head girl almost let out a yelp as she spotted movement inside their camp. Not knowing how someone or something could sneak up so easily inside she lifted her head slightly to see what was going on. She heaved up in relief when recognizing that nothing was out of order and it was simply one of the boys that was making a fuss. She realized Renji was the one who was moving, not up but still switching from side to side in distress, almost like he couldn't help it.
Seeing the other boy's figure trembling in his sleep finally made the ravenhead girl lift up from her stand-watch position and come up to check up on him.
Firstly considering he might have caught on a fever, she wrongly assumed his anguish was of that cause. But upon coming closer, she saw the reason for his unrest was a simple nightmare. He was softly crying unconsciously, furrowed eyebrows as the small boy was so unsettled by what he dreamt, that a clear tear dropped from his lashes on the youngster's soft chubby cheek, leaving a wet trail in its path.
As a small kid, Rukia didn't have much experience with comforting others, much less with someone she only met for a couple of months. However, leaving him like this, all upset and perturbed was not alright either, making a worry feeling stir inside her.
Waking up the other boys for help seemed a bit too much, but if his shivering would not stop any time soon she would do so, just to be safe. "Perhaps this is something that happened before?" questioned Rukia as she gazed at the rugged youngster's appearance, his red hair was dismayed and his face had a shiny cover of sweat on it, no doubt from the turmoil of his nightmares.
"But what if it hadn’t?" She could very well embarrass him in front of the rest. Besides, she wasn’t his favorite person at the time either. He already claimed after meeting her for a few weeks that she was too bossy and talked boyishly for a small girl her size. Despite him not liking her at first and being simply jealous, the dark-head had no particular issue with the other, merely interested by his spiritual powers and capabilities.
When the boy let out another wince, she instinctively moved her hand to pick up his own, squeezing the other’s fingers in an innocent gesture. Rubbing her own heated palms on his own, she used the warmth of her normally colder digits to ease up his surprisingly lower temperature. After a few more seconds of silent comforting, Renji’s eyebrows eased up from the grimace and his breathing returned to a regular rhythm. However the inky haired girl didn't know if she should just leave him be and return to the postwatch or see his form for a couple of more minutes.
Looking back at the unusually serene and silent night, she decided to hang back for a bit, assured that even if someone were to sneak up on them she would hear even from her position next to the crimson-head boy. She would let him rest for longer, but if another nightmare came up to him, the violet eyed girl would awaken him to switch nightwatch, using the pretense to also keep him from any more unwanted visions in his sleep.
For now, it seemed they would be safe, away from any threats for at least tonight. But even so, she couldn't tell if they would manage to find food tomorrow or the next day. Too burdened with struggles a child should not carry, the ravenhead young girl looked up at the moon, the celestial body being the only other thing awake in the bitter night.
2
The weather was much too damp and chilly for a summer in Rukongai, reasoned Renji as he passed by another dark entrance, this time entering through the shadowed passage.
However the moment he was inside, a rock wall rose behind and trapped him. Turning around quickly he could barely see even in front of him as he touched the block for a handle to open it back up. Sensing nothing but smooth gravel anywhere his fingers brushed, he gave up on a way out from where he came from. Only having one way to go, the long-haired male just pushed forward through the blackness, relying on his other senses now that his eyes couldn't see what was ahead.
At times he felt an ominous presence enclosing him, almost like the cave was a live breathing creature.
Suppressing his distress and foolish thoughts ("Really Abarai, how could a cave be alive" he mustrated in his mind) the redhead kept walking with no directions or sight.
He was also losing his equilibrium, the lack of color making his brain unfocused, glancing at his feet as he placed one in front of the other. The moment one of them was on the ground it was enveloped by a smokey volatile, blending in with the scenery in a complete black shade.
Despite being attentive to his steps he staggered, falling to one knee before unexpectedly dropping his left one too. Now on the ground, in an almost begging pose with both knees on the land, he found himself unable to get up, struck down to the earth's level.
The cave drowned in pitch-darkness, so even if he turned his head around at the feeling of another presence near him he couldn't grasp anything.
"Who are you?" a strong unknown voice overwhelmed the poor crimson-haired male, coming from inside and all around at the same time.
"Umm" stumbling over his words, the redhead just couldn't even remember his own name, shocked by the dimness surrounding him.
"Abarai Renji" he answered after a few seconds, all while trying to locate the origin of the voice. But whenever it spoke, it echoed throughout the whole cavity, shaking even the earth beneath his feet.
"And what do you request by coming here?" it responded back, making the other young man breath heavily as he lost his composure.
He had no idea why this shadow was questioning him, and what it was demanding of him but when he opened his mouth the answer came without any overthinking: "permission for passage". He ended up shocked at his own answer, not knowing where it even came from but aware it was what he was supposed to say.
He gripped his thighs firmly when the previous overpowering tone let out a sneer, ridiculizing him for his solicit. "Why would you ever think a scum beggarly like you is valuable enough to someone of our standing?" the being jeered as it mocked his upbringing and poor state. Renji's heart pounded painfully in his chest at the belittle, internally panicking at whatever reason he may have to offer.
"Please, I can be of use for you" begged the older boy as he moved on his knees, scraping them as he crawled.
"No" it resolutely decided, growing tired of the fool's unnecessary pleas, leaving him desperate on the ground.
"Please" Renji said once more, "let me in" he added as he placed his hands on the ground in front of him, dematerializing in between his digits, strands of sand marrying the skin of his fingers.
"Wake up, oi, Renji wake up" another voice was heard as the dream was dissolving and he was thrust into the real world. Rukia stood over him, fear in her eyes as she shook him once more out of the vision he was in.
"Mphm?" he got out, tongue and throat sore from screaming beforehand in his sleep. Looking beside himself, the male saw his surroundings and finally willed his breath to return to the regular, the sunlight illuminating his skin taking away the chill he felt in the dream.
"Are you alright now? I would have woken you up sooner but I left to get some water" explained the short female as she sat next to him with a bottle to drink from. Thanking her for the liquid he drowned most of it in one go, handing it back to her when he was done.
He didn't respond to her question, just shaking his head at the disturbed view he had seen.
Rukia however insisted on it, dragging his attention as she pulled on his sleeve again, demanding an answer.
"Yes now" he said firstly, he couldn't hide his emotions from her, and from past experiences she always imposed to tell her how he felt, even if the nightmare would be simply a foolish dream where he was falling or being chased by dogs. It was something that in the beginning he didn't enjoy, but seeing as the girl only treated him carefully and hadn’t made fun of him at any time during the past years, he became used to disclosing the outlines of his dreams, sometimes even seeking it.
"It was…" he said as the redhead told her the main details of his dream, watching her facial expression vary from attentively taking in the details to a more upset and empathetic gaze.
"Do you think this would have anything to do with the fact that we're supposed to reach the gates soon?" questioned Rukia as soon as he finished. The main reason he experienced a nightmare was probably the fact that they would soon ask to enter Seireitei and become soul reapers.
He nodded so to the other as she glanced back at him with full violet eyes, not saying anything else as she let the man gather out his thoughts.
"Do you think they'll let us come inside Seireitei?" he asked her worriedly as the remaining summary of his dream still plagued his thoughts.
"Yea" assured the female as she avoided the gaze of the other, not wanting to completely reassure him that they will be allowed entrance but still believing that if they proved themselves they could gain a spot, "if we're good enough they have to".
She got up from the seated position, watching the normally blustered city fall asleep under the rapidly coming night. Most of the sheds being taken down to put for the chilly evening.
"We'll be fine as long as we stick together so don't fret too much" she added as her previous argument didn't fully convince the man.
It was true they couldn’t possibly know what would await once they entered through the gates. But as always, by staying close and having each other's back they would get through whatever danger or issue they had to face.
3
He was floating at first, above a large cliff, sharp and 70 feet high, it seemed to dominate everything surrounded by it. Renji only glanced from the tall view, almost excited at being at such a height as he could see everything from the sky and below him. The redhead was faced with multiple beautiful meadows and rivers, a perfect view of spring scenery.
He was one moment trying to see what was picturing in a corner of a lake, then another he inimaginable tripped over a block of air, much to his surprise. From then on, the appealing view he was subjected to, metamorphosed, the flowery trees losing their leaves, remaining only empty branches, down right razor-sharp as they pointed towards him.
The ground was turning grey and blackish, color paling in favor of the duskiness enveloping it.
Just then after seeing those details, he was thrust forward by an imaginary force, falling to the ground. He was continously plunging down, not able to grasp at anything as he was rapidly closing in at half the distance to the ground.
The long-haired male tried using anything he could to stop his descend, but it was futile as he lost contact to anything tying him down to solid land. He was getting way too close to the soil, accepting his faith as he smashed into the ground.
*****
Into a third point view he felt as though his soul dispersed, watching his crumbled lifeless body torn at impact. His members were hanging out weirdly from his body, spine broken as well. His red hair was matted with maroonish liquid, the image of the bloodbath imprinting on his mind as his lifeless eyes continued to gaze up at him, almost porcelain like with the white of his ocular staring into his soul.
The embodiment didn't even make a sound on impact, shock and pressure rendering it incapable.
The longer he studied his own dead body, he surprisingly found himself obsessing more about the falling part.
*****
What where to happen to everything? Would the people he met across his life care of what it was to happen to him? Would this be the punishment for the things that he did? Was it enough to cover the side of his misdemeanor, or would he have to pay continously for it to atone for the turmoil he caused? No, definitely not. He was over that point figured the male as anguish and sorrow filled his palbable body.
He probably deserved what was happening to him either way, he was worthless in everything.
Just then he bolted upwards on his bed, awaking from the nightmare he was in. Gasping and panting out wheezes of quick inhales he grasped his chest thought his light clothing, the turmoil of his heart painfully reacting to the dream and his feelings about it.
He needed someone with him, he desperately thought as the previous emotions hadn’t left his mind. Picking up his soul pager he hadn’t hesitated to search for the number of a certain ravenhead he only became once again in contact with, not for long ago.
Mindlessly calling the first person who instinctively came to his mind for this situation, he dialed the Rukia’s phone number that he received when they exchanged numbers at her brother's office when he went to leave his badge.
She responded instantly, however on the opposite side of the call, all that could be heard was heavy breathing and panting, not much like a horror movie she saw back in the human world. The ragged gasping the other let out seemed to go on forever, the ravenhead not fully aware (and awake) to realize what was going on. Only after more agonizing moments for the man, when he couldn't even let out a sound in his state, much less tell his former best friend with whom he had a tense relationship up until recently, what was going on, he let out a pained wheeze.
Immediately sensing the wrongness of the whole ordeal, the call and the unresponsiveness, she asked if she should come over, already pulling the covers off her the moment the question was out.
He gave a nod of confirmation, but realizing she couldn't see him after a few seconds, he cleared his throat to whisper out a yes, shamefully dropping his head in unease. "I will be there as fast as I can" she got up, hanging up the phone as she dragged one of her sandals on her foot to wear outside, pulling an outerwear kimono over her shoulders in case the night was cold.
After twenty minutes had passed, Renji began to think she wouldn't come anymore, maybe falling asleep, seeing it was three in the morning or perhaps something intervened and she couldn't come anymore. It was fine, he shouldn't have bothered her in the first place, but it just seemed that his body moved on its own accord, reaching out to the ravenhead.
Hearing a short knock on his door, he simply got up from the bed, opening the door to the short female who got in and closed it after entering. The tall shinigami felt a little better at seeing her form, already dissipating the remnants of his nightmares.
Remembering a few manners he asked her "Do you need anything?", and got a shake of head in no as response, he nodded distantly, not seemingly aware of what he was actually doing for the time being.
"Nice place you have" the short-haired woman commented when she glanced around the room she was in, it was quite homey from the start, something her own bedroom in the manor lacked.
Ignoring the awkwardness of their silence she asked mostly to distract the redhead male "Want to show me around?". He nodded in approval, guiding her through the rooms in an almost mechanical way, only stopping when he noticed Rukia hanging back to look at his pictures on the wall.
It was some photographs his friends gave him, mostly pictures of him, Momo and Izuru from their going outs, and a few from his time with the 11th division. Nothing too special but it seemed it got the dark-head's attention, as she ran a finger over the edge of the frame, looking at it with a mix of repentance. Shaking herself off from her own thoughts that plagued her mind, Rukia turned around and simply told him "I wanna see the kitchen". Leading her there, she took off her outwear robe and leaned it on one of his chairs, inspecting the contents of his kitchen.
Figuring she had enough ingredients for some light meal, she picked up the products and placed them on the counter, not minding the other male. A bit baffled by her demeanor, he just watched the short-haired female make her way around his kitchen.
Curious enough to see what she was making he completely forgot about his nightmare, and got closer to the ravenhead, hanging behind her back and watching the preparations for the meal. He got in her way at times, assuming by how she tried to back up to get something and bumped into his form. He apologized and moved to the side, (foregoing the actual fact that she was at his place and was cooking without questioning him beforehand at all about it) sensing that like always he was only a good-for-nothing.
They didn't really exchange many words as Rukia stirred and fried the contents she prepared, looking behind her back at the poor man’s expression. The ravenhead didn't know what she could say to him, she assumed his disposition was probably due to a nightmare, seeing it was such a late call. They only recently got close enough to be called friends, but she knew this was a private and sensitive business so she wouldn't intrude, except if Renji told her. When she moved to put on a topping on the hot meal, the lavender eyed female discovered he didn't actually have any.
"If I knew I would have picked some up from the shop I ran across" hummed Rukia as she looked over for a few dishes to place the food into. She spotted some on one of the highest cabinets but decided to finish the meal first. When she turned around, the bowls were settled in her right, Renji frowning a bit as he actually heard her mumbled speech. He didn't understand why she ran into a shop at first before foolishly reminding that she was still without her shinigami powers and couldn’t perform shunpo to get to his place quicker.
"You came on foot" he stated, disbelieving, understanding now why it took her that much to get to him. And to think he even thought she could have gone back to sleep or leave him be when she probably cantered over here so quickly in the middle of the night, all alone.
He sat down on the opposite chair, feeling even more useless for dragging his poor friend all the way over to his apartament all because he had a nasty dream that scared him.
Sensing another lousy mood from her midnight companion, Rukia struggled to find some words of comfort, but she always hassled with this task. So, placing the finished meal on the table she glanced with the corner of her eyes at the once again slumping male.
"We're friends right? So that stuff doesn't matter" she said to him, looking into drawers for a pair of chopsticks and giving a reassuring look to the redhead once she found them. It was the first time either of them acknowledged their once again closeness, she hoped the other would be convinced enough that he wasn’t truly a bother to her. Yes, coming here in the middle of the night wasn’t really something she enjoyed to do but if her friend needed some support she would be there.
"Yeah, we are", responded the man in his mind as he picked up a hot piece of food, blowing on it gently to cool it down. Looking at the dark-head female he realized everything would be fine, a welcoming peace filling him as they took their place to eat together. He tasted the dish, thanking her afterwards for the meal that almost made him feel as warm and cared for as the other person in the kitchen.