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Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Aileen Haynsworth did not take financial advantage of this fanfiction.
Happy Reading!
As night deepened, the earth was cloaked in darkness, with rain soaking the ground and sending a chill through the air. I hugged my arms slightly as I hurriedly closed this small clinic located in a small town in the middle of nowhere, not far from the Fire Nation, just wanted to warm up quickly. My steps faltered from exhaustion, a result of the steady stream of patients who had visited since morning. I was about to fall over and wreak havoc in my clinic if there wasn't a pair of hands hadn't caught me.
"I don't think I have come at the right time," said a masculine voice, the owner of a pair of hands grabbing me, as he helped me to stand as upright as before.
I smiled faintly as I stared at the figure of the man with eyes as dark as the night before me. Ah, my heart seemed to betray me, leaping at the scent of him and the deep timbre of his voice—the voice of Uchiha Itachi.
"Itachi." His name sounded like it was something 'right' when it came out from my lips. Saying his name stirred something deep within me, a feeling I could hardly contain.
Getting enough of the lovesickness caused by the arrival of Uchiha Itachi. Logic brought me back to reality as I glanced around the clinic, sensing something was amiss. My forehead wrinkled, he was usually accompanied by his co-worker if only to take medicine here.
"Did you come by yourself? Where is Kisame-san?" I asked, watching as the man took off his Akatsuki outer robe, which was slightly wet from the rain.
He was the person who talked less in his life, so he just answered with a shake of his head. I assumed that he just wanted me to check his condition and he did not want anyone else to know about it. So, I pulled on his arm and helped him lie down on the bed to make the examination process easier. I sighed, trying to focus on the chakra in my palm, only to be annoyed that Itachi's condition wasn't improving at all.
I paused, feeling painfully inadequate, knowing my skills could do little to heal the man I cared for so deeply. All I could do was small things like checking his chakra flow, prepare herbal medicines, or helping him rest for a while. Itachi seemed to understand my sudden silence after examining him as if he could guess what was going through my mind. He rose from his position and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at my face.
"[Name]?" he asked, and then he grabbed my body, putting his hands on both my arms.
My throat was sore at the moment; it felt like I couldn't just keep giving him bad news.
"Apparently, in my opinion, Godaime-sama can help you, Itachi. I don't-"
He suddenly touched my cheek. His cold thumb wiped away the tears that had unconsciously left my eyes.
"I just believe in you, [Name]." He said while looking into my eyes.
His words made me feel stupid. Surely, a criminal like him couldn't suddenly return to the village, beg for mercy, and then ask to be healed by a village chief, could he? Facts flooded into my head, and it made my heart ache to know his current condition. Especially knowing Itachi's story of how much he loved Konoha. While I was the one who was currently considered a traitor to the village, who had helped to heal many Shinobi who even wanted to harm Konoha, who had loved one of the members of the most dangerous organisation in the Shinobi world at that time, under the excuse of information.
I bit my lower lip, again trying to focus on the chakra in my palm; this time I concentrated on Itachi's head. The chakra flow in his eyes was very chaotic; perhaps he had overused the Sharingan recently.
"Itachi..." I sighed weakly, annoyance rising in my chest as he didn't listen to what I said the last time we met, I had warned him not to overuse his dojutsu.
Meanwhile, the man who irritated me smiled a little. He had always been able to read me like a book, I didn’t know when he started doing that.
"Recently, Leader asked us to hunt down the Jinchuriki," he explained briefly.
Well, that would explain his current state of health. The Jinchurikis have a large amount of chakra, and their abilities as shinobi must be great as well. Itachi must have also used his Sharingan frequently, either to obtain information or to capture the Jinchuriki himself.
He suddenly asked in the middle of me fixing the mess in his eye chakra flow, "You looked tired earlier, are you alright?"
I chuckled. "I'm fine. Right now, my role is mostly that of a medical ninja, it's an expected duty to have that role, isn't it?" I replied. "If you ask me, I have enough necessary information."
The glow of chakra faded from my hands as I finished the healing process. I stepped back, moving to the kitchen to prepare a herbal drink that would support Itachi's health and help him rest.
Itachi followed where I went, then stood aside as he watched my movements. "Did you get that information from me too?" he asked, as if in a joking manner, but considering he was an Uchiha... the intonation in his words sounded quite serious.
"Hm... maybe?" I replied wittily while chuckling softly. "I guess I should be careful since you know about it now," I continued.
He smiled and continued his question. "Did you also treat the people you were digging up information about ... like this? Like what you did to me, [Name]?"
My blood rushed a little when I heard him say my name. This time, I stopped everything I was doing. I turned to face him, meeting his gaze. I smiled, hoping he could read my unspoken words: that he could trust me, that I understood his pain, and that I loved him deeply.
"No. You're the only one I treat like this, Itachi," I replied. Of course, I couldn’t act as intimate as I did with Itachi, right? I only loved him.
I wasn't sure if I could hide the blush that was spreading across my face at that moment.
***
It was quiet after Itachi had finished his herbal tea. Only the sound of the rain outside accompanied our silence. Itachi and I were lost in our thoughts, sitting across from each other at the small table in my living room, we remained silent. I had already learnt that Itachi was a thinker, he liked to be quiet and think about things, be it his dark past or his future plans which... I thought he was cruel to himself. "Loving Uchiha Itachi was a burden and a blessing; even thinking of him in solitude was enough to bring tears to my eyes. Itachi was a very enigmatic man who hid many things, hid his true feelings, and acted as if he was the person he portrayed to the shinobi world. People only knew that Itachi was a criminal, a cold-blooded man who wiped out his entire clan, a member of the Akatsuki criminal gang. Few knew the truth—that behind his dark reputation lay a heart dedicated to those he loved.
"[Name]," Itachi called.
That snapped me out of my stupor. I looked up at him who was now looking at me sadly with a bitter smile on his face. Ah, I was going to hate what he was going to say in the next second.
"How much longer? You know, my condition ...." He said quietly, as if he knew his words hurt me, but did he?
My throat tightened, I felt like crying, and I found it difficult to open my voice. I turned my face away, staring at the rain from the window seemed more attractive than staring at Itachi with his sad eyes and then sobbing like a crybaby.
"...I'll try. Soon, I'll go back to the village to get some medicine, or maybe I can ask—"
"[Name]." Itachi sounded like he was warning me, he didn't want anyone else to hear about his condition. Just me, Kisame-san, or maybe someone else in Akatsuki would know. "At least until Sasuke punishes me."
The truth is that Itachi was a loving person. He was a big brother who loved his little brother so much, as well as a village protector shinobi who loved his village so much. Even to this day, he still protected the village even though he was far away from it. He didn't want the people of the village to know what he had gone through, even though he was only a teenager at that time.
"Alright," I said, this time looking into his deep-black eyes. He didn't want any more answers right now, I could tell. He wanted certainty from my answer. All this time, he had been trying to keep his life from being taken away by his illness, he only wanted to die at the hands of his younger brother, punished by a fellow Uchiha.
I rose from my seat, picked up Itachi's cup of herbal tea and carried it to the sink in the kitchen. I sighed, too tired to clean up the rest of my dinner, the cup and the cooking utensils I'd used before Itachi arrived. I went back to the living room and met Itachi again. Never mind the mess in my kitchen.
"Itachi, why don’t you stay the night? I can set up a futon in the empty room—surely it’s better than sleeping on a cold clinic bed." I said in a slightly joking tone, trying to forget the sadness of the conversation that had taken place no more than five minutes ago.
The man of Uchiha blood flashed a faint smile. "Okay."
***
I did not know what time it was. What I did know was that morning had not yet arrived, for I had yet to see the light of dawn behind the curtains of the window. The rain outside seemed to have stopped, leaving only the cold surface temperature of the earth. I pulled the blanket tighter, although it was a little difficult as one of my hands was currently clasping the hand of Uchiha Itachi. To make sure he didn't wake up from my movements, I looked at Itachi's face, who was fast asleep, his chest moving up and down. His breathing sounded regular, at least he didn't wake up coughing as he had been doing for a while, so I was relieved.
After a brief chat over some herbal tea, Itachi asked me to keep him company. As he probably knew, I sometimes regretted not having more time with him, as he always left suddenly in the morning without a message or anything. The first thing I did after the silence, as we lay close together on a rather large futon, not quite in intimate proximity, was to ask about the Uchiha's first love. I scowled at my own stupidity, surely I would feel inferior, I didn't even know my current relationship with Itachi if it was explained. A lover? No, it wasn't that. The interaction between us was more intimate, if you could call it friends. He never said anything about his feelings for me and I never dared to tell him how I felt. Besides, Itachi didn't have time for all that, what we both had seemed to only bother his mind.
"Why are you asking about that all of a sudden?" he asked, as he leant over and looked at me quite intensely.
His gaze was enough to make me blush. "Uh, just curious. I heard that even back in Anbu, you often paid attention to Izumi-san."
I stared back at Itachi's dreamlike face, the bitterness in my chest returned as I recalled the conversation earlier. It seemed like many people knew about Itachi and Uchiha Izumi's closeness. I was jealous back then of my friend. She was already in the same clan as Itachi, and she was also close to him.
Itachi's gaze became sad. I caught the meaning of that look; he was longing. I couldn't imagine Itachi's hands killing his own beloved.
"So you did know," he said.
I laughed a little sheepishly. "I got along quite well with Izumi-san at the academy. She was kind-hearted, ah, she was a cheerful person too."
At the sight of Itachi, who was smiling, as if remembering the past, my chest felt like it was being stabbed.
"Just by making sure she's okay, I was already happy," Itachi said about her like he was yearning, but he looked at me while smiling and playing with my hair. His gesture was so sweet like he was trying to put out the flames inside me.
I stayed silent for a moment, before moving on to the question that hurt the most. "Are you the one... you know, I mean-"
"Yes," Itachi answered quickly. "I ended her life. Also gave her the Tsukuyomi genjutsu."
I gasped. I didn't expect Itachi to implant a genjutsu into the person he loved.
"What kind of genjutsu... uh, I mean, what kind of illusion did you give?" It seemed I was already starting to have trouble speaking, the conversation started by my own stupidity, making me hurt myself.
Itachi was silent. His gaze was dreamy. He closed his eyes briefly, then continued.
"It was ... about our lives, our family."
My throat constricted. I'd hurt myself enough as it was. I couldn't imagine the man I loved... loving someone else that much, yearning for her, even imagining him having a family with another woman, even if that woman was my friend.
"I see," I replied briefly in a hoarse voice.
I felt tears begin to stream down my face as if the result of me holding back my inferiority complex, pain, selfishness, and jealousy of the things Itachi told me as he remembered Izumi-san.
From everything the Uchiha man had said, I realised that Itachi would never love me, not in the same way he loved Uchiha Izumi. In other words, my passionate feelings were not the same as Itachi's. I would never be able to replace Uchiha Izumi.
However, can I be a little selfish?
I snapped out of it and back to reality. My eyes went to the joined hands, Itachi didn't even let go when I suddenly got carried away, then grabbed his hand for comfort after talking about the other woman who was the owner of this man's heart. Come to think of it, I was the one holding his hand, wasn't I? Even if all the bad things that had happened to Itachi in the past hadn't happened to him and Itachi had chosen Uchiha Izumi, somehow, right now, at this very second, I was the one holding his hand. Although Itachi would love Izumi-san forever, I was the one holding his hand and taking care of him. Although Uchiha Itachi had already prepared his own story of death at the hands of Uchiha Sasuke, at this moment, I was the one who accompanied him, holding his hand and trying to strengthen him to face a cruel fate.
My heart ached at the thought of them all, but for now, I was a selfish person at Uchiha Itachi's side. That was enough, I thought, to ease the pain in my chest.
The path I took was to love Uchiha Itachi, and loving him was hard and painful. At least, at this moment, I was the one by his side.
FIN