Archive of Our Own

Junghwan is watching television when he hears the familiar six beeps and the opening ring. He hears the front door opening and closing and for a moment he wonders who it might be but Seongjun is already asleep, having called it a day quite early, so it can only be Sihun.

He's focused on the drama and doesn't bother checking if it's really Sihun. The sound of a backpack hitting the floor and shoes being taken off is familiar so there's no way it's someone else.

"Ah, I'm so tired," he hears and confirms that it's indeed Sihun. Junghwan hums in response and keeps his eyes on the screen. He feels the couch dipping a little but pays no mind, too focused on what's happening in the episode. "Seongjunie, having a crush is so annoying, maybe I should follow your advice and just confess."

Upon hearing that, Junghwan stops paying attention to the drama but keeps staring at the screen. He blinks his eyes fast and wonders if he should correct Sihun and say it's him and not Seongjun.

He glances at Sihun from the corner of his eyes and sees that he's turned to the other side, leaning against the armrest with his eyes closed. Maybe he should help him to his bed, it's much more comfortable than the couch.

Junghwan pauses the drama, as he has to rewind to the part he stopped paying attention to anyway, and stands up. He sighs and stares down at Sihun's figure all hunched up on the corner, looking smaller than he really is.

Thankfully, Sihun cooperates and Junghwan pulls him up to his feet easily, holding him by the arm and only guiding him towards his bedroom since he keeps his eyes closed.

"Seongjunie," Sihun mumbles and Junghwan frowns, smelling the faint scent of alcohol coming from him. The way he looks wasted makes much more sense now. Sihun rarely drinks anything aside from tea and coffee, so even a tiny bit of alcohol gets to him. "Seongjunie, I'll tell my crush how I feel tomorrow."

"Okay, okay," Junghwan whispers and opens the door to Sihun's room, not bothering to turn the lights on as his eyes are used to the dark already and he can see his surroundings well. "Go get her, or whatever."

Junghwan does his best at being gentle when he lets Sihun fall down on the bed. He wonders if he should do something about the fact that he's still in his outdoor clothes but that's Sihun's problem and not his. Junghwan is definitely not about to change him so all he does is rush back to the living room to grab the blanket on the couch and cover him with it.

When Junghwan throws the cloth on top of him, Sihun stirs and turns around, yawning and looking like he's going to open his eyes but he doesn't.

"Goodnight hyung," Junghwan says and stifles a laugh when he sees Sihun nuzzling the blanket, looking like a little kid.

"Night, Seongjunie," he says and Junghwan sighs, surprised and amused that he didn't notice it's him and not Seongjun. "I'll tell Junghwanie about my crush on him tomorrow."

"Okay," Junghwan says and leaves the bedroom. He closes the door and freezes, hand still on the doorknob when he realizes what he has just heard.

He is Sihun's crush? Did he hear that correctly?

He stays in that position, holding the doorknob to Sihun's bedroom, for a while and only moves when he hears Seongjun coming out of his bedroom to use the restroom.

In a rush, Junghwan turns the television off and runs into his own bedroom. He closes the door and wonders if Sihun is actually going to do what he said. That keeps him up for a few hours but Junghwan eventually falls asleep when he can barely keep his eyes open - he had a long day after all.

The moment he sets foot out of his room, Junghwan expects to be approached by Sihun but the dorm seems to be empty until he sees Seongjun sitting on the couch. He's still in his pajamas and watching the news while eating a bag of chips when Junghwan walks up to him.

"Morning," Seongjun greets and grumbles when Junghwan tries to shove his hands inside the package.

"Where's Sihun hyung?" he asks, popping into his mouth the few chips he managed to steal, and Seongjun huffs.

"He's at the company, why?"

Junghwan considers just brushing it off as nothing, as he would usually do, but he's curious so he makes himself comfortable on the couch and turns to Seongjun.

"Last night," he starts and hopes it'll get Seongjun's attention. Junghwan sees that he's still focused on the news playing on the television - something boring about soccer -, a chip between his lips as he nods without looking at him. "Sihun hyung came back very tired and kinda tipsy."

"Tipsy? Sihunie doesn't drink, that's not possible," Seongjun frowns and turns the volume down, the remote control still in hands when he turns to look at Junghwan. "Did he do anything stupid? Did you record so we can show him and have a laugh?"

Junghwan chuckles at Seongjun's mischievous suggestion and denies it with a shake of his head.

"He mentioned something about a crush," he throws it in the air and waits for Seongjun's reaction. It comes just as he expected, he widens his eyes and covers his mouth, even letting the bag fall to the side. Seongjun really doesn't know how to be subtle.

"What else did he say about it?" Seongjun asks, cautious and looking like he knows all about it as Junghwan suspected.

Junghwan clears his throat, looks away and bites his lips before lifting his gaze to meet Seongjun's again.

"He said he'd tell me about it today."

"He mentioned your name?" Seongjun gasps and throws himself back on the couch, running a hand through his face. Junghwan uses the chance to reach for the bag of chips and munches on a few while he waits for Seongjun to recompose himself. With the way he's reacting, it would even look like he's the one who's got his crush's identity found out. "How can you act so normal about it?"

"I mean, you're doing all the drama in my place, aren't you?" Junghwan replies and laughs when Seongjun lifts his head just to glare at him. "I already thought too much about it last night, I have no reactions left in my body."

"So," Seongjun jumps back to a sitting position, startling Junghwan who almost drops the bag of chips on the floor. "Do you like him back?"

He stops to think for a moment.

"I mean, of course I like Sihun hyung," Junghwan replies. "I like you too, Seongjun hyung."

Seongjun makes a disgusted face.

"You know what I mean," Seongjun lets out a huff and pouts.

Junghwan wishes he didn't know but he does.

"If I like him on a 'would kiss him on the lips' kinda way," Junghwan sighs after saying it. "Never considered kissing Sihun hyung so I'm not sure."

"And I'm not sure how to say this," Seongjun grimaces and rubs his chin. "But aren't you straight?"

Junghwan hums.

"Well, I thought so too but, now that I think about it, the idea of kissing hyung doesn't repulse me," Junghwan pursues his lips and doesn't miss the look on Seongjun's face. "Why do you look so surprised?"

"You usually look disgusted when Sihun and I act cute to each other as a joke. I always thought it was you being like, kinda homophobic or something."

He laughs, closing his eyes and throwing his head back.

"No, it's just that I think it's cringey to see two grown men doing aegyo so shamelessly like that, joke or not," Junghwan says. "I'd rather not see or hear it at all, you know, but the two of you always make sure I am there to be a witness."

Seongjun pouts, crossing his arms and letting out a huff again.

"You're so anti-aegyo," Seongjun says. "I wonder how Sihunie even finds you cute."

Junghwan snorts.

"I'm the maknae, I'm supposed to be cute," Junghwan deadpans while poking his cheeks with both index fingers but can't keep the straight face and shivers. "But I'll continue to leave acting cute to you guys, you're much better at it than me."

He hands the chips back to Seongjun and stands up.

"I'll go work on some music," Junghwan announces and stretches his arms. "See you later."

"Are you going to the company?"

"Yeah, why?" Junghwan yawns and thinks about going back on his word and sleeping but he wants to get a few things done in his studio today or he'll feel useless later.

"Nothing," he smiles and pops a chip in his mouth before turning back to the television. "Have fun."

Junghwan frowns but turns away, marching back into his bedroom to get ready to leave.

He knows Seongjun is thinking about Sihun that's at the company but he doesn't really intend to confront him about last night. He probably doesn't even remember anything.

He'll get something to eat and some coffee on the way. There's no time to waste, he just saw it's past ten.

Junghwan calls it a day when he feels hungry. He doesn't even know why he bothered coming to the company when he's only managed to stress himself out with his lack of productivity.

Not just that, it's also the weekend and he would've made better use of his day if he had gone back to bed or watched the news with Seongjun - as boring as that is, at least there were chips and company.

But he's here now and wondering if he should order something and eat before going back to the dorms. He's thinking about it as he makes his way to the break room, planning to check the fridge and see if he left anything edible behind when, of course, he comes face-to-face with Sihun.

"Oh, Junghwan-ah!" Sihun exclaims, cheeks puffy with whatever he is eating. He covers his mouth with a hand and motions for him to come closer with the one holding the pair of chopsticks. "I didn't know you would be coming today. Are you hungry? I ordered a lot and was planning to bring it back home to share with you guys."

Junghwan stares for a moment and approaches the table, looking at the containers covering it. His stomach lets out an embarrassing sound and Sihun bursts out laughing.

"Just sit down and eat," he says and puts down a new pair of chopsticks on the side. Junghwan nods and takes a seat. "When did you get here?"

"At the company?" Junghwan asks, breaking the chopsticks apart and grabbing an empty plastic bowl to put what he wants to eat in. Sihun nods, stuffing his mouth with more food. "Before lunch."

He hums, unable to talk now and Junghwan starts eating.

"Hyung," Junghwan says after a while and catches Sihun's attention without a problem. "We're close enough to be able to talk comfortably about pretty much anything, right?"

"I guess so?" Sihun replies, frowning slightly and Junghwan can almost see the gears in his brain trying to understand where this is coming from. "Why?"

Junghwan is the type of person who doesn't like confrontations but this whole situation is killing him. He wasn't planning to do this but he can't stop thinking about last night and that's probably the main reason he wasn't able to do anything productive today. He ought to do something about it, there's no doubt.

"Last night," he starts and Sihun freezes, like he knows what's coming. "When you came back home."

The shaky sigh that Sihun lets out is the sign that he knows what Junghwan is talking about.

"Please, please, please," Sihun whispers and looks so distressed he drops the chopsticks he was holding and they clatter to the floor. "Tell me it wasn't you in the living room."

Junghwan can't help but let out a chuckle.

"It was," he replies and the color leaves Sihun's face and he looks like he's going to pass out so Junghwan puts a hand on his back to prevent him from falling from the bench.

It takes a few long seconds for Sihun to come back to his senses and Junghwan patiently waits, hand still on his back but unmoving.

"This is so embarrassing," Sihun says, covering his face with both hands and groaning.

"It's not," Junghwan chuckles and Sihun groans again, sounding and looking like his life is ending. "It was unexpected but there's nothing embarrassing about having a crush."

"How come you're so calm?" Sihun asks, turning to look at him with incredulity in his face. His skin looks like it's on fire with how flustered he is and Junghwan decides this is not the time to poke fun at him.

"Seongjun hyung asked me the same thing earlier," Junghwan shakes his head in amusement. In all honesty, he is not really sure himself but he's not feeling anything negative and that's enough in his opinion. "I don't know."

He shrugs then and Sihun just keeps looking at him with his mouth half-opened.

"Truth be told, I questioned myself on why I didn't feel bothered knowing that you have a crush on me," Junghwan says when Sihun remains quiet. "I've been trying to put this into perspective since yesterday."

Sihun's eyes are wide and his mouth is hanging open now. Junghwan thinks he looks hilarious and tries not to laugh at his face.

"What does that mean?" Sihun gulps and wets his lips before taking a very deep breath. He looks nervous and for a reason, Junghwan is not being very straightforward right now and he knows it but he needs to gather courage to say what he wants to say out loud.

"It means that I'm okay with you having a crush on me," Junghwan starts. "And that I'm also okay with giving it a shot, whatever that means."

"You'd date me?" Sihun gasps and almost sends some food flying but his hand misses the container by a nail. "Huh?"

Junghwan can't believe this conversation is happening, it feels way too surreal to be true. Sihun's reaction doesn't disappoint though. It is as exaggerated as always and it's actually hilarious.

"I'd go on a few dates with you and see how it goes," Junghwan explains. "We've been friends for a while but that's different from dating. We don't know if it'd work, so I'm okay with trying to see how it goes."

Sihun brings a hand to his forehead and looks dizzy. He even closes his eyes and leans his elbow on the table.

Junghwan is about to ask if Sihun is doing well when he suddenly lifts his head and stares right into his eyes.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" he asks and keeps his gaze fixed on Junghwan's face. "Tomorrow, are you free?"

Junghwan has made plans of sleeping in and watching dramas until he can't keep his eyes open. He is not free if he considers that but oh well.

"I'm free," he nods and smiles. He also remembers he's hungry and resumes eating.

"Let's do something in the afternoon then," Sihun says and stands up, picking up the chopsticks from the floor and throwing them away.

He cleans up after himself and sits back down, using his phone as he waits for Junghwan to be done so they can pack the leftovers for Seongjun and leave.

Junghwan's plans of sleeping in go through without a hitch, No one wakes him up before eleven - usually Seongjun knocks on his door to check if he's alive and if he's going back to see his parents and Jinnie so they can go to the subway together - and the dorms are so silent he wonders if Sihun and Seongjun are even there.

He slowly opens his door, doing his best not to make any sound, and takes a peek outside. There's the sound of the television as background noise so he's definitely not alone. On his tip-toes, Junghwan leaves his bedroom, passes by the empty kitchen and to his left he sees Sihun and Seongjun glued to each other on the couch, whispering something.

"Hey guys," he greets and Sihun lets out a shout, something flies and drops with a loud thud. Junghwan jumps back in surprise. "What was that for?"

Seongjun bursts out laughing and falls down on the couch while Junghwan watches as Sihun rushes to pick up what he threw - his phone, as it seems.

"Anyway, I'm going out for a walk, see you guys later," Junghwan says, deciding that he does not want to know what the two of them are up to. He turns around and goes back into his room to grab his wallet, earphones and phone.

When he passes by again, the television is off and Sihun and Seongjun are gone. He shrugs and leaves without a second thought.

This is something he does whenever he's too lazy to go back home to see his parents and cat, so Junghwan works on autopilot. He takes the subway and rides it for five stops, then his feet take him to a small café at a not very busy street and he sits down after ordering an iced americano with an extra espresso shot.

Putting his earphones back on, Junghwan listens to whatever decides to play and stares out the window while sipping his drink. He stays like that for a few minutes without thinking about anything and just enjoying the moment.

Then he remembers yesterday and freezes.

Right, the date. He completely forgot about it.

Sihun said in the afternoon. Junghwan checks the time on his wristwatch and calculates how long it'll take for him to get back to the dorms. It's way past noon, almost one, and it takes him half an hour to go back if he rushes instead of walking leisurely as he does.

He sighs, closes his eyes, rubs his forehead and stands up. With the half-finished drink in his hands, Junghwan walks out of the shop and goes the whole way back hoping Sihun won't think he ditched him because, even though they didn't set an exact time, he's going to be late.

As quietly as possible, Junghwan enters the apartment. He takes his shoes off and hangs his jacket on one of the pegs by the entrance.

The place is as silent as it was when he left and he's put off by it. On weekends, Seongjun is always laughing his ass off in the living room while catching up on some random variety show he follows while Sihun is out playing soccer with his friends.

The eerie silence can only mean one thing: Seongjun is not home.

He looks around, trying to locate where Sihun is but not wanting to call his name, it feels wrong to break the quietness in the apartment.

He drops his things in his room and notices that only Seongjun's door is closed - meaning he really left, though he could tell by the missing pair of shoes by the door. Junghwan takes a look inside Sihun's bedroom but it's empty. The bed is messy, it looks as cramped as always with how many clothes Sihun owns and he probably hasn't cleaned the place since last week. Junghwan snorts and takes a step back.

Maybe Sihun forgot about the date and went out to play soccer as usual. Junghwan sighs and runs a hand through his hair before making his way back to the living room. It's not that he's sad or upset but he rushed in order to avoid being late and didn't even eat anything as he planned. He finished his drink while riding the subway and now he's hungry.

As he's hoping to find something in the fridge, in case Seongjun cooked and saved some leftovers for later, Junghwan walks into the kitchen. He's reaching out to open the fridge when he hears a snore. It takes him by surprise and Junghwan stands upright with a jump.

So maybe Sihun is home and he just didn't look around enough. Junghwan completely forgets about his search for food and walks towards the couch, noticing the soft breathing sound coming from there the closer he gets.

Then he sees Sihun, curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around himself. He looks adorable and Junghwan smiles softly at him until he notices the drool pooling on the cushion he's using as a pillow.

He gags and hopes this is not a usual thing because he sits on that side of the couch when he watches his dramas and hugs that exact cushion while at it.

"Hyung," Junghwan calls and waits. Sihun's nose twitches but he doesn't wake up. Junghwan sighs and squats so his face is on the same level as Sihun's. "Hyung."

With a startle, Sihun sits up. He looks around disoriented while wiping the drool off with the back of his hand. Junghwan makes a face, looking up at him from his still squatting position but he can't help but look back to the drooled cushion and grimace.

"Junghwan-ah," Sihun exclaims, his voice still heavy with sleep, and takes a deep breath while messing his hair up. "The date- I fell asleep, I-" he looks around and his gaze falls on the cushion that Junghwan is still staring at. "Oh God," he groans and grabs it. He's blinking his eyes nervously and Junghwan almost feels bad but Sihun is just too funny so he's stuck holding back a grin instead. "I'll wash it, pretend you never saw that."

"The picture of you drooling all over it is engraved in my brain now, hyung," Junghwan teases and Sihun lets a swear escape before covering his mouth. He stares at Junghwan with wide eyes, looking shocked.

"Give me five minutes, I'm out of my mind," Sihun says while showing five fingers to Junghwan and running to the bathroom.

The door clicks closed and Junghwan stands back up, his legs sore from staying in that position. He sits down on the couch and waits.

Sihun takes more than five minutes but Junghwan doesn't mention it. He comes out of the bathroom with the cushion under his arm and holding the drooled cover. He still looks embarrassed, the tip of his ears are burning red, and there's a pout on his lips.

"Can you please pretend you didn't see any of it?" Sihun says as soon as he makes it to the living room, tossing the cushion on the couch and swinging the cover back and forth softly. Out of nervousness, of course, because Sihun is anxious just like Seongjun and him. "I'm going to run the washing machine and I'll try to follow through with my plans for our date."

"Okay, hyung," Junghwan replies and Sihun smiles while looking down at the floor. He rushes out of the living room without a word, most likely going to do what he said. Junghwan waits patiently, although his patience is running thin the hungrier he feels.

He hears footsteps and stands up, ready to ask Sihun what they'll be doing when Sihun runs past him and into his bedroom. Junghwan stares and lets out a frustrated sigh.

Sihun comes back with his eyes glued to his phone's screen and Junghwan clears his throat.

"Are we going anywhere?" he asks and Sihun looks up at him.

"I went out with Seongjunie before he left to see his family," Sihun says and Junghwan frowns. "And he helped me decide what to make."

"I'm not sure I'm following," Junghwan trails off and Sihun opens his mouth but closes it again. "What are we going to do?"

"I was going to cook us lunch and-"

"No, thank you," Junghwan cuts him off, remembering the times Sihun was in the kitchen and shivering at the disastrous memories. He sees the hopeless look in Sihun's eyes and immediately feels bad. "Is that the reason Seongjun hyung and you were so secretive earlier?"

"He was helping me find a recipe I could make easily and then he helped me with the grocery shopping," Sihun says with a pout. "I have improved my cooking skills and wanted to cook for you."

It's probably the pout's fault but Junghwan finds himself nodding. Sihun breaks into a smile so wide he can see his dimples.

"Do you want me to help? Just to make sure you're not going to add three spoons of garlic to it," Junghwan jokes but he's also worried it'll happen again. "Or half a bag of sugar."

"Now, Junghwanie, you're exaggerating," Sihun huffs and crosses his arms. "It was not like that."

"Do you want me to show you the video?" Junghwan threatens by tapping his pocket where his phone is and Sihun gulps.

"You can sit down and keep me company," Sihun says and suddenly holds Junghwan by the arm. He pulls him to the kitchen and lets go in order to take out the ingredients from the fridge and cupboard.

Junghwan grabs the nearest stoll and sits down.

"What are you making?" he asks but Sihun only gives him a smile before turning back to the food.

"It's a secret," he says, looking way too amused at Junghwan's pained expression.

"I don't like the sound of that," Junghwan comments and rests his arms on the small counter.

Sihun lets out a laugh as he washes his hands.

"Don't be so mean to me," Sihun says, shaking his wet hands in Junghwan's direction and hitting him square on the face with some of the droplets. "Worst case scenario we have to order take out."

Junghwan sighs, shaking his head and chuckling.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Junghwan asks again when Sihun doesn't utter a single word, his attention back to his phone. He looks up from it with that clueless expression he has sometimes and Junghwan snorts.

"Can you play some music then? It's too silent," he asks Junghwan and takes one last glance at his phone before putting it down on the counter and focusing on slicing and seasoning the meat he took out.

Junghwan does as requested and observes him. It's interesting to watch him cook. Junghwan has only seen Sihun in the kitchen when they were recording some type of content for their YouTube channel and it has always been a mess. But maybe that was mostly due to the nature of the cooking being done as some sort of competition or a game where time was involved. Sihun is horrible at those and panics halfway through it.

Now he looks focused and serious, the same way he is when they're at the company learning a new dance or discussing business with the management.

"Wait," Junghwan says without thinking as he realizes what Sihun is cooking. "You're making tteokguk?"

"Yeah?" Sihun trails off and his pupils shake when he makes eye contact with Junghwan. His ears turn red quickly and Junghwan bites his lips so as not to laugh. "Seongjunie told me how to make it properly. I'm redeeming myself from the garlic tteokguk, though I don't think it was as bad as you guys claimed it to be."

Junghwan raises an eyebrow.

"I woke up the next day with the taste of garlic still in my mouth," he says and Sihun looks away for a moment.

"Me too," he adds with a chuckle. "But I promise I'll make it properly this time, I am following a recipe."

It's fun to tease Sihun but Junghwan decides he has suffered enough, especially with the drooled cushion incident, so he merely nods and keeps tabs on the songs that are playing.

After what feels like hours of watching a very slow cooking show, Sihun announces that he is finished.

"Just let me set the table," he says to Junghwan, taking off the apron he put on when he splashed some oil on his shirt. "I'm sorry, you're probably hungry. Did you eat anything at all today?"

"No," Junghwan replies, twisting his lips into a frown. Sihun gasps and tosses the apron to the side and runs to grab the bowls on the drying rack. It's endearing how he's doing his best to be as fast as he can, pouring the tteokguk on the bowls and adding the garnish on top.

"Let's eat," he says and walks up to Junghwan, pulling him up to his feet with a soft pull on his arm. He even holds the chair out for him before he can even raise a hand to pull it.

"Thanks, hyung," Junghwan says, a little embarrassed. Sihun takes the seat opposite him and now this feels like a real date. Not that it wasn't before but, also, it's not like Junghwan has been to any in his life. He can't really tell but it feels like it.

After brushing off those thoughts, Junghwan looks down at the steaming soup and his stomach hurts when the smell reaches his nose.

"Tell me if it's bad, I won't be offended," Sihun says but looks like he would burst out crying if Junghwan said anything negative about his food. Junghwan nods and reaches for the chopsticks so he can start eating.

Sihun is so full of expectation that he waits for Junghwan to take the first bite to see his reaction instead of eating his own food. Junghwan feels pressured and he almost drops the rice cake back into the bowl but he tightens his grip and brings it into his mouth.

He chews slowly and holds back his laughter when he sees Sihun tapping his fingers on the table and biting the inside of his cheek in anxiousness.

"It's good, hyung. Chill," he says and shakes his head with a smile when he sees Sihun releasing his breath. "It's not garlic tteokguk."

"I only added one spoon this time," Sihun says and starts eating as well.

Junghwan hums and keeps eating. He's so hungry that he doesn't even bother to talk to Sihun in between, only stuffing his mouth with more of the food once he's done chewing. Sihun doesn't seem bothered by his lack of talking, in fact he looks happy. He keeps smiling as he eats and looking fondly at Junghwan. He notices it but he doesn't call him out on it.

"Was it good then?" Sihun asks, not hiding the happy look on his face and Junghwan nods.

"I'm so surprised, I didn't know you could actually cook a decent meal," he teases and laughs when Sihun glares at him - of course, with a pout on his lips. "I'm joking. Thanks for cooking for me."

The glare disappears and Sihun smiles, looking down at his bowl before looking back up to meet Junghwan's eyes.

"I'll cook for you again some time," Sihun says and stands up, gathering everything. Junghwan stands up as well.

"Oh hyung, let me clean up," Junghwan tries to snatch the bowls from Sihun's hands but fails. "You cooked and all, let me do something to help."

"I'll do it," Sihun says and marches off back into the kitchen. Junghwan appreciates not having to do any chores but he doesn't like feeling useless like this.

"No," Junghwan insists, following Sihun into the kitchen and pulling him away from the sink once his hands are free from anything. "I'm doing it. It's your turn to sit down and rest."

Sihun looks up at him, stunned.

"Never thought we'd fight over who's doing the dishes," Sihun snorts and Junghwan lets go of him. "Suit yourself then."

Sihun stays by his side instead of sitting by the counter and talks about a dance challenge he wants to record to post on their SNS.

Junghwan does the dishes quickly, it takes less than ten minutes, and Sihun manages to fill the silence the whole time.

"What are we doing now?" Junghwan asks and Sihun widens his eyes. "Have you not thought of anything?"

Sihun shakes his head and Junghwan nods once.

"Okay, let's go out and get something sweet," Junghwan says and smiles when Sihun furrows his eyebrows. "I'll pay, you can choose whatever you want."

"So you'd be okay if I wanted a whole cake at the bakery?" Sihun asks with a big excited look on his face.

"Don't abuse my willingness," Junghwan rolls his eyes but knows he wouldn't mind getting one. They're capable of finishing it up just the two of them after all and it's not like they're on a diet right now. "We'll see."

Sihun giggles and they leave the apartment, talking about whether they should save some cake for Seongjun or not - they do, after all, Seongjun helped Sihun out and they just adore Seongjun, there's no reason not to.

Junghwan gets ready to go to the company rather early and is leaving the apartment when he hears Sihun locking the bathroom door to wash up.

He uses the time he takes to walk to the company to think about yesterday.

It was nice. It was fun. Junghwan had a good time and Sihun's company is always pleasant. They're used to each other after these years going through hardships together and they get along most of the time. He has no complaints, Sihun even cooked for him!

He knows it was a date, it felt like one, but, despite all that, it also felt like any other time it was just the two of them. If there is one thing about yesterday bothering him, this is it but Sihun has nothing to do with it. It's just that Junghwan is stuck wondering if this is how it should be. It's obvious to him that you don't fall in love with someone on the very first date, at least he doesn't expect himself to, but he was hoping to feel something different.

Was he expecting to feel butterflies in his stomach when they touched? To feel like time stopped when Sihun looked him in the eyes? Maybe he has been watching too many dramas.

He considers talking to Seongjun about it but concludes that it is out of the question. Or at least going to him exclusively to talk about this.

He's a rather reasonable person but he's one of Sihun's best friends and, as much as Junghwan knows he wouldn't babble about whatever he says to him, he doesn't want to burden him with this. He's sure Sihun is going to talk to him about it anyway and he's also sure Seongjun will come to check with him how things went from his point of view. Junghwan just…doesn't want to initiate it. It might make Seongjun concerned that he was the one seeking him instead of the other way around.

Besides, Junghwan doesn't usually ask for help so it would be really out of character for him. He would rather solve his own problems without bothering anyone so nope, absolutely not going to happen.

He stops torturing himself with those thoughts now that he entered the company. He waves to the lady at the front desk and takes the elevator to get to his studio. Junghwan passes by Sehyun and Sion, says good morning to them and then proceeds to isolate himself from everything and everyone.

He doesn't bother with the lights and sits down on his chair, turning his computer on and tapping his fingers impatiently on the desk as it boots.

It doesn't take long and Junghwan opens the folder with all of his works in progress, staring at the bunch of folders inside it.

The songs he's been working on are many and Junghwan isn't sure of where to start. He has a lot of unfinished projects, most of them melodies without lyrics and some of them are only the sketch of something he still has to develop. It's hard to choose what to work on today, with so much in his head, but he decides that maybe trying to write for one of the songs that are missing its lyrics might be the way to go.

He opens a new document on his computer and starts typing whatever comes to his mind. He'll organize it later and try to make it make sense.

A knock on the door takes his focus away from the computer screen and Junghwan blinks his eyes a few times before turning around on his chair to check who's there.

"Yes?" he says, loud enough so the person on the other side hears him. He takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes. They're already hurting a little due to the brightness of the computer screen, nothing unusual.

"Junghwanie," Sihun calls, head peeking inside the room. "I hope I'm not bothering you, just wanted to drop these here."

He quickly enters the studio and places a plastic bag on the desk and a plastic cup with what Junghwan knows is iced americano.

"In case you didn't have anything to eat yet," he smiles. "I passed by the convenience store to get something to eat and got you some as well. It's just two kimbaps and chips, please eat lunch properly later. If you want to, you can text me and we can order something together with Seongjunie."

Junghwan looks up at Sihun with surprise in his eyes.

"Thanks, hyung," he replies, unsure of what to say aside from that.

"I gotta go now, I have a lesson, but see you later," he grins and waves at Junghwan before closing the door and disappearing from sight.

Junghwan stares at the plastic bag and reaches out for the drink. He was so focused on his work that he completely forgot about breakfast, now he realizes how hungry he is.

He eats what Sihun brought, thankful that he's such a thoughtful person.

The week goes the same way as it always does. Junghwan works on songs, practices his singing, does lives for their fans at the end of the day when he's not too tired - which is not very often since he's always tired -, practices dance so he doesn't get rusty, exercises when he has time, takes walks around the neighborhood, watches one episode of the dramas he's following every night and goes to bed.

Of course, in between, he talks to Seongjun and Sihun but it's the minimum since each one leads different training schedules when at the company.

At the dorms, they see each other in passing. Seongjun sleeps early - usually when Junghwan is getting out of the shower after coming back -, wakes up before everyone and leaves. Sihun gets home the latest and leaves last while Junghwan is right in between.

It's a busy week despite the lack of group or individual activities but Junghwan has a lot on his plate. He barely feels the days passing, locked in his studio from morning till night, only taking breaks to eat and use the restroom.

He's currently polishing the songs he has ready. In fact, by the end of the month he's hoping to have sent over a whole album made out of a selection of these songs to the representatives and maybe get the company's management thinking about giving them a comeback. It's frustrating how things are now, with everyone else running around with events to attend, tours being planned and comeback preparations while the three of them are just…there. Junghwan can't stand it any longer so he's doing his best to get a reaction out of the higher ups in some way.

It stresses him up though and it takes a toll on his mood. He's quieter than normal, only talks when it's completely necessary, too wrapped up in his own thoughts.

Maybe the lyrics are not good enough. I should probably tidy up the mixing. What if I re-recorded the vocals and ad-libs? Would it be too much if I asked Eunho for his opinion on a few of these? He's so busy now…

It's late and Junghwan walks back to the dorms on an almost empty street. Usually, he wouldn't stay at the company until past midnight but he got lost in his own work and didn't check the clock until he started yawning and could barely keep his eyes open.

He gets inside the apartment and is surprised that he sees the television turned on. It's almost two o'clock, no one should be awake at this time.

"Hyung?" he calls in a whisper when he gets to the living room. He recognizes Sihun by the back of his head - he doesn't know how this is possible but it is what it is - and chuckles when he sees he's passed out, remote control on one hand and his phone thrown by his side. "Hey," he pokes his shoulder and watches as he stirs, opening his eyes slowly and looking up at him.

"Junghwan-ah, you're home?" he yawns and turns the television off. "What time is it?"

"Late," Junghwan replies. "Why are you not in your room?"

Sihun stands up, stretching his arms and yawning again.

"I got home earlier tonight and was waiting for you but you didn't show up at your usual time," he replies and Junghwan lets out a hum of understanding. "Did you eat?"

"Yeah," he says, thinking about the lunch leftovers he finished before coming back. "I did."

"Tomorrow," Sihun says and stares up at Junghwan with a smile. "Do you want to go out with me?"

"Just us?" Junghwan asks without thinking and Sihun laughs.

"Just us," he nods.

"Sure, why not?" he replies with a grin and sighs, feeling the tiredness weighing up on him. "I need to sleep."

Sihun nods.

"Shower first though, alright?" he gives him a stern look and a tap on the shoulder. "I made plans but I'll let you know when you wake up. Sleep well."

He walks away and Junghwan stays in the dark living room for a few more minutes before he gets moving.

Junghwan knows it's Saturday, somehow.

Even though he didn't realize yesterday was Friday, he knows it's the weekend because he's woken up by a knock on his door instead of his alarm. He knows it's Sihun instead of Seongjun, with the way he taps the door with his knuckles so softly, so shy. If it were Seongjun, there would be one knock and he'd barge into the room before Junghwan could even open his eyes.

"Yes, Sihun hyung?" he calls and sits up, rubbing his eyes and peeking at the opening door with just one.

"How'd you know it was me?" Sihun asks, glancing at him while tilting his head. He smiles and Junghwan wonders what's the cause of it.

"Why the smile?" he asks since he's so curious.

Sihun pinches his eyebrows together into a frown and points at himself. He looks so silly, Junghwan chuckles, nods and yawns, all at once.

"Uh," he trails off, plays with his finger then shoves his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. "I just thought you, uh, you know, look cute with messy hair."

"Oh, okay," Junghwan mumbles, wondering if Sihun can see the way his ears are burning. He hopes he doesn't. "Are we going out now?"

Sihun shakes his head.

"No, in the afternoon," Sihun replies. "But Seongjunie made breakfast for us and asked me to come get you before the food gets cold."

Junghwan falls back down on his bed with a groan and hears Sihun giggling.

"Give me five minutes," he replies and hears the door closing with just one muted click.

He stares at the ceiling and sighs.

Is this what he was expecting to feel back when they had their date?

Don't get him wrong, there are no butterflies in his stomach and the time didn't stop when his gaze met Sihun's but he felt something a few seconds ago.

The way Sihun smiled at him. He looked so fond, his eyes full of adoration that Junghwan had not noticed before. It's hard to define exactly what he's feeling. It's bothersome in some way, but just like before, it is not negative.

He exceeds the five minutes but he's sure none of them are counting, so he takes his time getting out of bed. It's not like he's going to be lectured for this anyway.

When he gets to their modest dining table, Sihun and Seongjun are chatting and laughing. Junghwan sits down on one of the empty chairs and they immediately include him in whatever they were talking about.

As always, Junghwan enjoys the time he spends with them.

It's been a while since they've sat down and had a meal the three of them - a while compared to before. So they update each other on what they've been up to at the company. Seongjun has been looking out for musicals that are holding auditions and practicing his singing extra hard while Sihun has been trying to work on some songs, just like Junghwan.

And, of course, they share their concerns for their lack of activities.

It's not like they were expecting to have a comeback right after they were eliminated from the show, their company is way too meticulous on this aspect, never going for something without having a solid plan as they don't want to waste money, but the wait for it is excruciating.

The uncertainty Junghwan has been feeling has got to be one of the worst feelings ever. It's horrible but also reassuring to see that he's not the only one feeling like this. They exchange looks when they're done talking, silence falls upon them and then the three sigh at the same time. It's sad but the way their timing matches is funny and they burst out laughing - as they say, it's better to laugh than cry.

"Could you two clean up?" Seongjun asks as he gathers all the empty dishes from the table. "I promised to go shopping and have lunch with my mom and I'll be late if I don't leave in the next fifteen minutes."

"You cooked for us, hyung," Junghwan rolls his eyes and scoffs. "That's the least we can do. Actually," he stands up and reaches out towards Seongjun. "Give me those and go get ready."

Seongjun looks at him with amusement and confusion, even exchanges a glance with Sihun - who shrugs at him -, and hands him the small pile of plates.

"Thanks," with a wave and a happy smile, Seongjun skips off to his bedroom and Junghwan makes his way to the kitchen. Sihun takes care of the rest and it takes them no more than five minutes to be done with everything.

Seongjun passes by them in a rush, quickly putting his shoes on and waving one last time.

"Have fun," he sings and leaves the apartment.

The door clicks closed and Junghwan scratches the side of his head.

"Uh, I'm going back to my room," he says in Sihun's direction. "Unless you want to do something?"

Sihun shakes his head.

"We'll go out later, just do whatever you want to do," he says and falls down on the couch with a sigh. "Just be ready around two, wear something comfortable."

Junghwan wants to know where they are going but if Sihun is not giving him any details now, it means that it's supposed to be a secret so he doesn't ask. Instead, he turns around and walks back into his room. Junghwan grabs his phone on the nightstand, makes himself comfortable on his bed and spends the rest of his morning playing on it.

When he feels hungry again, he drags his feet until he's standing in front of the fridge and just heats up the bunch of leftovers he finds in a container. Sihun is nowhere to be seen, most likely having gone out by himself, and Junghwan eats in silence, watching random videos on his phone as a distraction.

After that, he feels tired. So, surely, he walks back into his room, sets an alarm for half past one and falls asleep.

At exactly two o'clock, Junghwan gets out of his room dressed the way Sihun told him to dress. He's got a pair of sweatpants on, a random T-shirt and a hoodie, it should be comfortable enough for whatever they're doing.

But Sihun is still nowhere in sight.

Junghwan checks the shoes by the entrance and confirms that Sihun is still not back. He sighs and sits down on the couch. He's about to turn the television on when his phone rings.

"Yah, Sihun hyung," he answers. "Where are you?"

Sihun laughs and Junghwan lets out a loud sigh, loud enough for Sihun to hear through the phone.

"I'm outside the building. Please come down, I'll be waiting in front of the gates."

Junghwan stares at the phone screen in disbelief when Sihun ends the call without another word. He stands up, patting his pockets to make sure he has everything important on him, and exits the apartment.

Once out of the elevator, Junghwan's eyes go straight to the entrance but there's no one there. He makes a face and wonders if Sihun is pranking him or something because he gets out of the building and looks around but still doesn't see him anywhere.

"Junghwan-ah, come on," Sihun calls and Junghwan turns his head in surprise, following the voice and staring in shock at Sihun who's inside a car, the passenger's seat window rolled down. "Get in, I'll explain on the way."

Junghwan nods and does as instructed.

In all these years, Junghwan has never ridden a car driven by Sihun. He knows he has a driver's license but he's not sure about his driving skills so he quickly fastens the seatbelt before he even has the chance to start the vehicle.

"Are you going to tell me what we're gonna do today?" Junghwan asks out of awkwardness. He hopes Sihun has not seen the desperation in the way he almost missed the buckle a moment ago. Sihun picks up his phone from the support and seems completely unaware of Junghwan's nervousness at the prospect of riding a car that he'll be driving. "Or is it a secret?"

"I mean, I am going to add the name of the place we're going to in the GPS," he laughs. "There's no way it's going to be a secret."

Sihun types on his phone and then puts it back where it was. Junghwan wants to check where they're going out of curiosity but he also feels like it'd be much more enjoyable if he lets it be a surprise.

"Ready?" Sihun asks and starts the car. Junghwan jumps in surprise and Sihun turns to him with a concerned expression. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Junghwan replies. "Pay attention and don't crash the car."

Sihun bursts out laughing and turns the engine off.

"Are you scared my driving sucks?" Sihun asks, laughing even harder when Junghwan nods. "Just trust me, alright? You should be scared if it were Seongjunie and not me."

"But Seongjun hyung doesn't have a driver's license."

"Exactly," he exclaims. "But I do. Have you not watched my Jeju vlog?"

Junghwan chooses not to answer that, which is an answer in itself. He does remember him going to Jeju though and he definitely remembers the sashimi picture Sihun sent in their group chat.

"I can't believe you don't watch the videos on our channel," Sihun huffs, starting the car again. In his defense, he used to watch them but now he has no time or energy for it.

Before driving off following the GPS directions, Sihun pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, turns the radio on and Junghwan sighs. The song playing is familiar. He doesn't know the name or who's singing but it's still pleasant.

"So," Sihun says, eyes trained ahead. "You're probably wondering where I got the car."

Junghwan hums and observes Sihun driving. He's so focused and serious that it looks odd.

"The place we're going is a little far and it'd be a pain to take the train, so I decided to rent a car instead," Sihun replies and of course Sihun would do that. His solutions for some things are simply absurd whereas Junghwan would have given up if it were too much of a hassle.

"I see," Junghwan replies so as not to leave Sihun without an answer and stares out the window.

They're still in the city, the sidewalks filled with people since it's the weekend, but traffic is decent and they're on the highway in no time. Junghwan thinks the silence is comfortable and hopes Sihun thinks the same way.

He considers closing his eyes and dozing off but he slept plenty earlier and can't do that even if he wants to. Instead, he tries to appreciate the view.

He doesn't know how much time has passed since they've spoken a word but it doesn't matter, he's having a good time enjoying the music and watching the scenery flashing by. It's a perfect end of spring day: not too hot or cold, the sky is a perfect shade of blue with a few clouds scattered around and the breeze coming from the small gap on the window smells a little like the ocean.

Junghwan turns to look at Sihun and sees that he's mouthing the lyrics of the song that's playing as he drives, a smile on his lips as he keeps his attention solemnly on the road. He's surprised he didn't try to strike conversation, perhaps that's how he is like when driving.

From Sihun's side, Junghwan sees the way the water stretches endlessly into the horizon, the sunlight reflecting on the surface and shimmering. He blinks a few times and turns to the front for a moment, checking the signs and the direction they're headed to.

"Are we going to the beach?" Junghwan asks, finally connecting the dots.

"Yes but not right now," Sihun answers. "I thought we could go hiking at a trail for an hour or two, grab something at a cafe, then set up camp at the beach and have dinner there. And before you ask, no, we're not going to sleep at the beach, don't worry. I'll drive us back to the dorms."

Junghwan would rather stay home on weekends and rest but he likes the sound of it. It's been a while since he has been away from the city and, perhaps, this is something they needed. And if it weren't supposed to be a date, Junghwan is sure Seongjun would appreciate it as well.

Maybe the three of them should plan something like this some other time.

"I know what you're thinking," Sihun laughs and glances at Junghwan from the corner of his eye.

"What am I thinking?" Junghwan challenges, raising an eyebrow and pressing his lips into a tight line.

Sihun lets out a very long hum, twisting his lips as he does so.

"That you don't really want to go up a bunch of stairs just to enjoy the view," Sihun replies and Junghwan laughs at how wrong he is. "I know you're not really into exercising but I promise it's going to be worth it. I've been there before with my parents and it's nice, especially at this time of the year."

Junghwan laughs some more at how confident Sihun looks and sounds as he speaks.

"Did I get it wrong?" he makes a funny face but doesn't turn to look at Junghwan, focused on following the GPS' instructions to make an exit.

"I was just thinking that we should do this again later on and bring Seongjun hyung with us," Junghwan says with amusement in his voice. "And I think this is a great date idea, I'm looking forward to it."

He can't help but smile when he sees the way Sihun brightens up at his words.

"Definitely, Seongjun can pick up the trash as we go up," Sihun jokes, referencing a video that was posted on their channel some time ago. "Since I'll be the one in charge of driving."

"And what about me?" Junghwan questions and Sihun takes a deep breath, looking like he's thinking hard about the answer.

"You can sing to us as we go up," they burst out laughing and Junghwan sees that they're arriving at the hike trail when Sihun drives into a parking lot surrounded by green. There aren't many cars there so they get a good spot, Junghwan is sure most people are enjoying their time at the beach right now with the way the weather is so nice. "I'm sure you didn't put repellent on."

"Well, duh," Junghwan unbuckles the seatbelt when Sihun turns the car off. "I thought we were going to the movies or something, I only have my wallet and phone on me."

Sihun reaches for something behind his seat and brings out a backpack.

"It's alright, I brought it," he says and hands it to him.

Junghwan exits the car before spraying the repellent and tossing it back to Sihun after he's done putting a cap on to keep his hair off his face.

"Let's go?" Sihun asks with a grin and points to the path that leads to the beginning of the stairs. "It's easy to go up, it's just a bunch of stairs that go around the mountain."

Junghwan sighs at how many there are.

"Alright," Junghwan says, taking a deep breath and stretching his arms and legs. "I'll get there before you."

He runs ahead, more as a joke than anything else. Junghwan is not actually planning to race Sihun to the top but Sihun shouts and runs after him.

"Yah! That's not fair," Sihun yells when Junghwan is reaching the first step of the very long staircase. Junghwan turns around to see where he is and widens his eyes at the way Sihun is speeding towards him. It looks like it'll be hard to stop in time so Junghwan braces himself for the possibility of being tackled to the ground. He even presses his eyes closed but the collision comes in the form of a gentle hug and laughter. "You should've seen your face."

Junghwan opens his eyes back and stares down at Sihun who still has his arms around his torso.

"Are we going to just keep hugging or are we going up to the summit?" Junghwan asks, wanting Sihun to let go of him because his heart is beating way too fast and he wants it to go back to its normal ratio as soon as possible.

"Let's go before it gets late," Sihun releases him with a blush on his cheeks and a bashful grin, holding his forearm to urge him to walk. "This one is not as steep as Seongsan Ilchulbong so it should be fairly easy on us."

Junghwan nods and Sihun lets go of him to save his own energy. The path is not steep, just like he said, but it is long and Junghwan is sure it will take them close to two hours to go up and down if they don't take any breaks.

So they go up without talking. Sihun seems to be doing alright, he does play soccer every weekend and works out during the week with Seongjun. Meanwhile, Junghwan only goes out for leisure walks, nothing that requires a lot of effort physically. He's not out of shape, all the dancing he does has got to have a use somehow, but it's just that his endurance for these types of activities is almost nonexistent.

They pass by a few people coming down and Junghwan feels jealous that they're already on the final step of the hike while they're probably only halfway to the top. But it's fine, despite it all, Junghwan is glad that he's doing something different from the usual.

He's staring at the steps and lets out a laugh when he sees and feels his legs shake when he lifts a foot and Sihun turns to look at him.

"Do you want to pause for five minutes?" he asks and offers him a bottle of water he takes from inside the backpack he brought along. "My legs are killing me."

Junghwan looks up and sees the tired look on his face. He didn't notice it before, too focused on his own suffering, but Sihun is short of breath and there's sweat rolling down the left side of his face.

Despite that, he's still smiling and looking very, very happy.

He accepts the bottle with a nod and Sihun takes another one, downing more than half of it in one go. Junghwan drinks it as well, only noticing how thirsty he was when the water is going down his throat. He observes as Sihun leans on the rail, putting all his weight on it and looking exhausted.

"How long have we been going up?" Junghwan asks, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.

Sihun pulls the sleeve of his shirt up to check on his watch and does the math on an invisible board with his fingers.

"Half an hour-ish? It's been longer than it feels," he nods and gives Junghwan a satisfied smile. He also takes out some tissues from inside the backpack and dabs them on his face, looking disgusted at it before folding and stuffing them on one of the side pockets. "I thought we'd take an hour but we have been going up nonstop so we should be getting there soon."

Junghwan is not so sure but he nods. He takes a glance to the side and sees that they're higher than he imagined, the top of the trees look quite far.

They resume their journey in silence. Junghwan almost lets out a shout of triumph when he sees a sign that reads that they're close to the summit but his tiredness holds him back.

When he goes up the last step, it feels like the energy that left his body as they went up returns to him and he lifts both arms up in victory.

Sihun watches it all in amusement, drinking up the rest of his water and putting the empty bottle back into his backpack. Junghwan finishes his water as well and hands the bottle to Sihun since there are no trash cans in the summit - which makes sense, why would they pay someone to hike up the trail just to take out the trash?

"It's empty," Junghwan comments as he looks around. He was expecting to see a few people since there were at least five cars in the parking lot but maybe these people went somewhere else - perhaps the trail that doesn't go up the mountain.

"Do you want to sit down?" Sihun says and points to a bench a few meters away from them.

The heaviness in his legs come back and Junghwan almost falters, nodding urgently and letting out a sigh. Sihun looks at him and laughs before holding him by the arm and forcing him to walk towards the bench with him.

The bench is placed right in front of the - rather low - railing, offering them a great view of the trees that surround the mountain and the ocean right at the end of it. Upon sitting down, Junghwan leans his back against it, closes his eyes and lets out a sigh again.

"I don't want to think about the fact that we have to walk back down," Junghwan complains and sprawls his arms and legs all over, his head falling on Sihun's shoulder. "I'm so tired already."

Sihun only chuckles, sitting up straight. Junghwan glances up and sees that he has his attention on the view right in front of them and he decides to sit properly and appreciate it as well. After all, they've come a long way and it'd be a waste if he didn't give it its deserved attention before they have to leave.

"Despite feeling tired," Sihun says and Junghwan turns to look at him but Sihun's still staring ahead. He looks thoughtful, his lips pulled into a small pout. "Are you enjoying the date?"

"I am," Junghwan replies with no hesitation and he sees the way Sihun smiles, showing his teeth and looking shy even though he's not looking at him. "I really appreciate you going out of your way to plan this."

Sihun finally turns to him, his warm smile still on his lips and the look in his eyes gentle. He shakes his head and chuckles.

"Nah, it was no trouble," he says and grins at Junghwan, his eyes becoming smaller even though they look augmented by his glasses' thick lens. "I have actually thought of this a long time ago. If I ever had a chance with you, I'd take you out on what I thought was a perfect date and this is me currently trying to put the plan into action."

Sihun's words get him thinking

"How long is a long time ago?" he asks, curious to understand when Sihun's crush on him started. He knows it's not something he should be asking but he can't help it. Sihun has never treated him in a distinct way - actually, that's how he treats Seongjun - so it gets him wondering when the way he sees him changed because he never sensed anything different and probably wouldn't have if Sihun hadn't mistaken him as Seongjun.

Sihun tilts his head and pursues his lips, dragging out a hum as he thinks.

"During our Moonlight promotions, I think," he mumbles and scratches his chin. "I mean, I love the both of you, I wouldn't have gotten this far without you guys, and I'm forever thankful that we ended up in the same group after we were eliminated from Produce X 101, even though we probably won't be BDC for the rest of our lives."

"I wish we would," Junghwan whispers, feeling horrible at the mere thought of them not being a team anymore. For someone who joined the company with the intention of being a soloist, he's developed a liking to having people to count on, to have Sihun and Seongjun there to support him when needed - and willing to do the same for them. Junghwan is attached to them, there is no doubt. "I hope we will."

"Me too," Sihun breathes out. "But anyway, back to your question, there was a moment back then that I looked at you and something just clicked, you know? Like, when you're watching a movie and the main lead looks at the romantic interest and just goes oh? Like they just realized they're in love with that person and that everything they felt to that point finally makes sense? That's how I felt."

Junghwan wants to ask him more questions, wants to understand why Sihun even likes him when he is the way he is. Full of sarcasm, extremely negative even though he doesn't take pleasure in being this way, bluntly honest and, he needs to work on this, he's always complaining about something nowadays - and he's aware it's not a good habit but it's so hard to stop, complaining makes him feel so much better when things don't go his way. He knows he's difficult to deal with, it's always been like this, but neither Sihun nor Seongjun ever had a problem with it. Well, they did and still do sometimes, but they've always talked it out and solved anything before it became too big.

But that's not the point in question and Junghwan is back to wanting to bombard Sihun with questions and more questions but now Sihun looks like he's done talking.

He has a longing look in his eyes as he watches the clouds crossing the sky. It's a look that says do not disturb me, I am having a moment right now so what Junghwan does is observe the nature too.

The wind that blows is pleasant. It's neither hot nor cold, not uncomfortable, just a reminder that summer is coming.

"I think we should get going," Sihun announces after a while and stands up, yawning and stretching his body a little. Junghwan follows his actions and the two nod at each other before making their way back towards the stairs. No words are exchanged and Junghwan finds it funny that they can communicate without a problem, only with gestures and looks.

The descent is quiet. With Sihun going a few steps ahead of Junghwan and Junghwan trying to be careful not to trip and fall but also doing his best to enjoy the moment. This is not something he does regularly and he can't even think of when he will have the chance again - even though he mentioned bringing Seongjun, he knows it won't happen so soon - so he wants to make the most out of it.

As he observes the landscape, smells the distinctive scent of nature and hears the occasional chirp of a bird or a bug flying by him, he thinks. Junghwan is good at that, thinking. It's something he does often, way too often, to the point that he has a hard time falling asleep because there's just too much going on in his head.

And now he's thinking about Sihun, in a way he has never thought before.

Junghwan thinks over the fact that he has never considered any of this. Never touched the possibility of liking someone even though this is something that's ingrained in their culture, dating that is, because everyone is dating someone. Not them though but he's sure most of the guys in the other groups are in a relationship of some sorts. Junghwan is just too wrapped up in his worries of being an idol, working on his songs, hoping to make BDC successful, recognized. There's no space for dating when there are days he doesn't see the sun outside, locked in his window-less studio, his eyes red and stinging from staring at the bright screen for too long.

As he's still deep in thought, wondering if what he's been feeling is in the same wavelength as what Sihun feels for him, they reach the end of the trail - or beginning depending on perspective. Junghwan has not reached any conclusion yet but he pushes those thoughts away for a moment and enters the car.

He sighs in relief and closes his eyes. Coming down was a lot easier but it doesn't mean it didn't take a lot of energy from him.

"Are you hungry?" Sihun asks as he starts the car.

"Starving," Junghwan replies and opens one eye, seeing as Sihun has already put a location on the GPS that's fifteen minutes away from them.

"Me too," Sihun chuckles and drives off.

The music playing on the radio works as white noise - again - and Junghwan resumes his thinking as he stares out the window. The sky's still blue, although a little darker compared to earlier, and Sihun is focused on driving just like before.

Junghwan feels…awkward. He's thankful for the song filling the silence because he doesn't know what to say. He's never been good at conversations but it used to be fairly easy with Sihun. He wonders if he shouldn't have asked that question while they were at the summit. Despite having answered it - seemingly - without a problem, the way Sihun is so quiet now makes him wonder if that made him uncomfortable.

While looking out the window, Junghwan gets a glimpse of the beach and lets out an excited sound without noticing. He hasn't been to the beach in a while and, sure Sihun mentioned the beach was part of their itinerary, but seeing it in front of his eyes is different.

"We'll go to the beach after we eat," Sihun assures him with a laugh and Junghwan nods, eyes glued to the sand and water.

They stop by a small, cozy looking café that Junghwan would've walked past had they been in Seoul. The outside is a dull cream color with details in brown, it doesn't catch his attention at all, but the inside is much different. It's spotless white from floor to ceiling but all the furniture is colorful.

They get in line, there is just one person in front of them, and Sihun orders for both.

"Why don't you choose where you want to sit?" Sihun asks with a smile and Junghwan nods. "I'll get there when our order is done."

Junghwan picks a small table by the big plate-glass window with a view to the beach, although calling it a view is too much of a stretch. The beach is far, very far, and Junghwan can barely see the ocean - or even the sand - but the fact that he knows it's there makes him happy.

It's not long until Sihun is sitting across from him, a smile on his lips and the tray resting right in the middle. Junghwan stares at the two thick slices of cake and the iced coffee, his mind empty after thinking so much.

"Are you," Sihun says and Junghwan snaps out of his stupor, lifting his face and blinking his eyes multiple times as he peers at Sihun. "Are you uncomfortable? You're too quiet."

Junghwan shakes his head and Sihun motions to the food.

"You said you were starving but you're just staring," he says and Junghwan lets out a chuckle. "I'll eat yours too if you just keep looking at it."

That gets a proper laugh out of Junghwan and Sihun looks satisfied at the reaction. He rolls his eyes and gets one of the forks.

"For the record, I thought you were uncomfortable," Junghwan says before putting the first bite into his mouth.

"Why?" Sihun says, his mouth full and cheeks puffed up.

"Well," Junghwan says. "You were too quiet. I'm always quiet whereas you're not, I thought something was wrong."

Sihun shakes his head and downs half of his coffee in one large sip.

"No," he says and wipes his lips on a napkin. "I was just going through my plans in my head while driving. We need to pass by a mart before going to the beach, like, we're not going to cook there, but we should get something for dinner since we'll get back a little late and I'm sure we don't want to cook."

Junghwan sees in the way Sihun is looking at him that he wants to add more, probably wants to ask Junghwan what he thinks of the date again, but he holds back - just like Junghwan did at the mountain's summit - and focuses his attention on the food.

"Should we just get something easy to eat? Some kimbap? I don't think we should get anything that needs to be heated up," Junghwan says in order to break the silence that has taken over again and Sihun looks up with wide eyes and some cream on the crown of his lips.

Junghwan chuckles, closing his eyes and running a hand through his forehead for a moment. God, this is so cliche. Junghwan knows Sihun is not doing it on purpose but it feels like it. He almost reaches out with a napkin to wipe the cream off but decides against it, if Sihun hasn't figured out he has something on his lips by the time they're leaving, Junghwan will tell him, but he's not falling for this.

"I guess so," Sihun replies with a nod and licks the cream off his lips - Junghwan is saved the trouble of telling him about it. "I was going to suggest a lunchbox but you're right, I would rather have that hot rather than cold."

Since he's done with his cake, Junghwan goes on a tangent about food to avoid the silence and Sihun keeps eating. He laughs at the stories about his latest convenience store experiments and Junghwan's exaggerated descriptions, it's a nice atmosphere and he's glad the awkwardness has melted away a little.

"It's getting late, let's go," Sihun says when he's done. He stands up and takes the tray to the place it's supposed to be left and Junghwan waits for him by the entrance.

"How much did you plan?" Junghwan asks.

"Not as much as you're thinking," Sihun says and drags him towards the car by the sleeve of his hoodie. On a normal day, Junghwan would pull away but today is not a normal day so he lets him and Sihun looks overly excited over it - it's kind of worth it, Junghwan always thought Sihun looked the best with a smile brightening up his face.

The mart is not far and it takes them less than ten minutes to get enough food - though, Sihun insists on getting more than they can eat, just in case!

And finally, finally, Sihun drives them to the beach.

Junghwan can't help feeling giddy. He taps his foot impatiently while looking at all sides, even through Sihun's window.

"When was the last time you came to the beach?" Sihun asks when he sees Junghwan fumbling with the seatbelt as soon as he stops the engine.

"I can't even remember," Junghwan replies and gets out of the car, raising both hands up and enjoying the breeze. They've parked super close and he'll step on sand if he takes less than ten steps so he runs for it, without looking back. He doesn't even take his shoes off, only runs until all he sees is the ocean.

The beach is not completely empty but it's perfect. All Junghwan sees is a few people walking around so it's quiet. The sound of the waves is calming and he turns to the side to tell Sihun he's happy but he sees that he's alone.

Junghwan turns back to check where Sihun is and he sees him struggling to carry a bunch of things at the same time.

Junghwan curses under his breath. He completely forgot that Sihun mentioned setting up camp. He rushes back to him and offers his help to carry what he brought, to which Sihun divides in half.

Locating a place is easy, not too close to the water but close enough that they can sit down and watch the waves. Sihun also makes sure it's not at a spot every passerby will go through, a little far from the parking lot area but not too far that they'll have to walk a lot in the dark when it's time to go back to the dorms.

Setting the tent is easier than Junghwan expected. It's a foldable one and, although bulky, all they have to do is open it up, grab the poles and stick them in the sand firmly.

"I didn't know you owned camping gear," Junghwan comments, hands on his hips as he observes the tent looking very steady and spacious. It's the fancy type, different from the one they used to share back when they camped at one of the company's practice rooms during their Produce x 101 days.

"I don't," Sihun answers and grins, taking out a few towels from a bag and spreading them out on the sand, right under the tent, so they're protected from the - now - cold breeze, but close to the entrance so they still have a perfect view of the sky. "I borrowed it from Seongjunie."

Junghwan lets out a knowing hum. It makes much more sense now, since Seongjun is the one who goes camping by himself when they have days off.

Sihun looks down at his work and sighs. Almost immediately, he lies down on the towels, closing his eyes and sighing once again.

"Are you tired, hyung?" Junghwan asks, taking a seat right next to him. He holds his knees up and hugs his legs, resting his chin on top as he stares at the beautiful scenery in front of them.

"Not really," Sihun replies. Junghwan turns to look at him and sees that his eyes are now open, staring up at the ceiling. "Just thinking."

Silence.

Junghwan gulps. He feels like it was loud enough that Sihun could hear it but he doesn't stir.

"Thinking about…" he trails off and waits for Sihun to complete the sentence. Sihun turns his head to the side and looks directly at him.

"You, kinda," he answers and sits up. He rubs his eyes and Junghwan only watches, waiting for him to continue. "I was thinking about how this feels like, how do I put it, not real? I know it's real but it's still not making sense in my head."

Junghwan is truly confused, so he frowns because he knows Sihun will elaborate on what he means.

"And at the same time, it's like, it feels like you're doing this for me and not because you want to. Does that make sense?" Sihun looks at Junghwan for confirmation but Junghwan doesn't know what to say, this is not what he was expecting to hear. "I mean it like," he sighs and messes his hair up. "You don't have to force yourself to like me just because I like you. But, I know you're not this selfless and that's what's messing with me."

Junghwan stares at Sihun, sees that he's done talking and is now just waiting for him to speak too. He licks his lips and gulps again. It feels like there's a knot on his throat and his voice almost doesn't come out.

"I'm not forcing myself to be here, if that's what you're worried about," Junghwan starts and nods once, eyes locked with Sihun's. "I know I've been quieter than usual today and, uh, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind and I don't want to say anything without being sure."

"But are you enjoying the date?" he asks, biting the inside of his cheeks and looking flustered. He even looks away and stares down at the sand.

It's such a Sihun thing, to change the subject so abruptly, and Junghwan laughs.

"It's been great so far, despite all the walking and sweating," Junghwan jokes and sees the color in Sihun's cheeks. "It feels like a small healing trip, something I didn't know I needed. So yes, I'm enjoying the date."

Sihun smiles as he traces random lines on the sand with his finger and Junghwan softens. He is well aware that this moment is engraved in his memory now, Sihun looking so sheepish and shy, sounding so vulnerable and hopeful. He looks so lovely and Junghwan is assured that he feels something more for him. Maybe not in the same proportion as Sihun feels for him but it's there.

"Can I ask you something, hyung?" Junghwan breaks the silence and Sihun looks up at him, doe-eyed and curious. He nods and tilts his head. "Why do you even like me? I-" Junghwan hesitates. "I feel like you'd have a much better time if you liked Seongjun hyung or just, you know, someone else who's not me."

Sihun bursts out laughing, even falls back down on the towel.

"Seongjunie?" he says in between laughter as he pushes himself back to a sitting position. Junghwan feels like he's not gotten the joke and only stares at Sihun with a confused look in his eyes. "Seongjunie is straight and besides, he's not my type."

"And I'm your type?" Junghwan points to himself, his insides turn and he feels his nape suddenly becoming hot.

"Yeah?" Sihun frowns. "I thought that was obvious at this point."

"Oh," Junghwan manages to say and Sihun laughs some more.

Junghwan startles when he feels Sihun's hand on his shoulder and turns to him.

"You asked why I like you," Sihun grins. "Do I really have to give you reasons? Do you not believe me when I say I like you? I don't really think I should make a list of things to convince you."

"No, that's not what I mean," Junghwan says in mild panic.

"You meant it in a self-deprecating way, didn't you?" Sihun raises an eyebrow. "In a, why would he like me when I am so full of flaws, kind of way?"

Junghwan is speechless. He stares at Sihun with his mouth open and can't look away, especially when he sees the brief hint of sadness in them.

"I'll put it simply," Sihun says slowly, his eyes never leaving Junghwan's. "I like you because you're you, because you're Yun Junghwan. I know I'm talking more like BDC's leader rather than Kim Sihun but everyone has flaws. I have flaws, Seongjunie has flaws, you have flaws. I don't care if you're grumpy when you wake up and don't say good morning back to me or if you answer me sarcastically when you're in a bad mood, at the end of the day you're still the diligent, responsible and considerate Junghwan I know. I think liking you is more than just a few bullet points I can write down on a list to show you, it's something that just happened."

Junghwan realizes he's been holding his breath and releases it slowly not to show Sihun how taken aback he is. It's such a Sihun thing to do, to break things down like this and make something that doesn't make sense to Junghwan just make sense.

"So your answer is that you just like me," Junghwan mumbles and blinks a few times, turning to stare ahead at the ocean and pretend his neck is not burning hot, that he's not feeling like he's about to break out in hives with the way he feels his skin prickle.

"Exactly," Sihun chuckles and they fall silent since Junghwan is staring ahead, not looking at Sihun at all.

Junghwan doesn't know how to push away this tense atmosphere so he remains frozen in place, controls his breathing and tries to distract himself by looking at the sky.

Much to his luck, Sihun is an expert at it.

As the leader of their group, Sihun had to deal with a handful of situations, even back when Eunsang was part of their little group - even during Produce x 101 when he had to pair up with complete strangers - because Junghwan remembers well how difficult it was with Eunsang - he is still such a perfectionist, a person of few words with so so much in his mind and he has a really hard time expressing himself (those are Eunho's words from some time ago, Junghwan knows they probably still hold true).

It's even hard to believe someone like Sihun is an introvert when he's so good at dealing with people.

"Do you want to eat?" Sihun says, trying to ease the tension and change the subject. "I'm kinda hungry again."

"I'm hungry too," Junghwan replies, turning back around and accepting one of the samgak kimbaps Sihun holds his way.

They eat in silence but it's better now. Junghwan doesn't feel like he's going to melt or combust. In fact, he feels so at ease that he realizes he'd be more than happy and willing to do this more often, maybe every weekend even. Being in Sihun's presence is something he's used to but they've never done this kind of thing before, at least not just the two of them and definitely not out of their work schedules.

"Hyung," Junghwan asks, his food halfway finished and he's already thinking of grabbing another one. "Next Saturday, do you want to go on a date with me?'

"Huh?" Sihun says, putting his glasses up on the top of his hat and munching cutely. "You're asking me out this time?"

Junghwan almost denies it without thinking but he lets out a shaky breath and nods.

"I'd love to," he smiles and oh, maybe this is what Sihun talked about earlier. Junghwan feels something clicking and it's not the can of soda Sihun just popped open.

He thinks about saying more but Junghwan's mouth goes dry and he remains quiet. The truth is that he chickens out, whatever he thought of saying goes to the backburner of his mind for the meantime and he just enjoys their dinner.

Sihun doesn't mention the fact that Junghwan asked him out on a date, probably sensing he's not ready to talk about anything regarding it yet. Instead, he tells Junghwan about his plans for this week and how he's been thinking of dyeing his hair back to black.

"You cut your hair already and I think mine needs a break," Sihun says, finishing up the soda and tossing the empty can into a plastic bag. "I'll miss it because it's such a cool color but it's getting drier and drier with each wash."

"I think black hair looks good on you, hyung," Junghwan comments and notices that the sky is finally darkening. He looks around in search of a light and Sihun reaches for the bag.

"I got this portable light from Seongjunie as well," he says and turns the lamp on, putting it down behind them. It illuminates the inside of the tent and Junghwan wonders whether they can see the stars in the sky when it's completely dark.

Silence falls upon them again but this time it's different. Junghwan doesn't feel uncomfortably awkward and he enjoys watching their shadows against the sand. The thoughts he put away earlier come back to him and he goes through it again.

"Hyung," Junghwan says, not wanting to overanalyze what he's feeling and end up hesitating again. He waits for Sihun's attention to be on him to keep talking, which doesn't take long. "I was wondering why you don't treat me like I'm your date because, uh, this is a date, right?"

"What do you mean?" Sihun asks, the smile on his lips falters and Junghwan feels stupid for even asking him this. He regretted opening his mouth as soon as those words were out but it's something he's been thinking about and he wants to hear Sihun's answer - even though he has a guess already.

"Aside from the café, everywhere we went it was just the two of us but you didn't even try to hold my hand or anything," Junghwan trails off. "It's not like I was expecting some skinship, that's not what I mean, but since you're usually all over Seongjun hyung even in front of the cameras, I thought you'd try to stick closer to me but you didn't."

Sihun makes a face, moves both eyebrows in a very funny way and lifts his gaze to stare at Junghwan.

"Is this your way of saying you want me to kiss you?" Sihun asks and Junghwan widens his eyes. His face feels hot instantly and he lifts both hands in front of his chest, moving them from side to side to tell Sihun in a nonverbal way that this is not what it means and that he's mistaken.

Sihun either doesn't get the message or decides to completely ignore it because he smiles before leaning closer to a panicking Junghwan.

"Hyung knows that's not what you mean but you're so fun to tease," he says with amusement.

Junghwan sees the hint of nervousness in the way the corner of Sihun's lips twitch and he decides that two can play this game.

"Who said this is not what I meant?" Junghwan adds with a daring tone. He's embarrassed, so embarrassed when he says that, but he keeps a straight face. Sihun is the one at a loss of words this time, it might be a trick of the light but Junghwan is sure he sees his pupils shake before he pulls away.

"Is it?" he retorts and takes a deep breath when he locks his eyes with Junghwan. Junghwan nods because he would not have said any of that if he didn't mean it. He's actually prepared in case Sihun decides to kiss him without further notice but it never happens.

Instead, Sihun remains frozen in place, looking at Junghwan without moving a single muscle. Junghwan has watched enough dramas to know what to do even though he has zero experience and he wonders if he should because, clearly, Sihun has got no guts to go through with it.

Junghwan puts a hand down on the towel, for support, and leans into Sihun's personal space. Sihun doesn't need to know Junghwan has never kissed anyone in his life - he's sure that's a given but he's not going to inform him of that - and he can just pretend that he knows what he's doing. He looks so nervous that Junghwan is sure he's not going to notice anyway.

He almost laughs when Sihun presses his eyes closed so tight his jaw tenses, his hands balled into fists and nose scrunched up. He doesn't want to make fun of him for that, the way Sihun is reacting only shows that this is a first for him too and Junghwan thinks it's cute.

It's dark enough but Junghwan makes sure to reach out and turn the lamp off, just in case someone decides to walk by. He hears Sihun suck in a lungful of air, probably noticing the light has disappeared.

"Hyung, is this alright? You look so tense, I'd think you don't want to be kissed," Junghwan manages to say and Sihun lets out a chuckle.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I shouldn't be so nervous," Sihun breathes out and Junghwan sees him open his eyes again. He seems surprised at their proximity, Junghwan's face is only a few centimeters away from his.

Not wanting to waste more time talking, because it's only prolonging this and making Junghwan grow more nervous and anxious, he covers the distance between their lips and kisses Sihun.

It's soft and brief.

Sihun lets out a gasp of surprise as soon as their lips touch and Junghwan pulls away right after. He's sure it should've lasted longer but his heart is beating so fast he feels like it's going to fly out of his chest.

"Can we try it again?" Sihun whispers. "I shouldn't have been so surprised but I didn't think you'd actually kiss me."

"I keep my word," Junghwan whispers back, trying to calm his jitters but it doesn't work.

He feels Sihun's hands on the cord of his hoodie and he's pulled forward. Their lips touch again and this time Junghwan chooses to ignore his erratic heartbeat - it's not like he's going to have a heart attack, even though it feels like it.

He closes his eyes and melts, letting Sihun pull him closer. He loses his balance and the two end up sprawled on top of each other, giggling. Junghwan hopes he's not crushing Sihun with his weight but there are no complaints, only Sihun circling his arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.

It's warm and tender and Junghwan's insides burn. All of his thoughts dissipate when he feels Sihun's hand running through his hair. Junghwan feels him smiling against his lips before he deepens the kiss and that's when he just gives in.

"Junghwanie, I think we should get going," Sihun says against his lips, although not moving at all. "It's an hour drive til we get to the dorms and I need to return the car tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Junghwan replies and is moving to push his body back up when Sihun pulls him down again, crashing their lips into another kiss. He laughs but kisses him back and it takes them a solid ten minutes to get up and brush all the sand off their clothes.

They organize it all back, tent and towels properly folded and ready to be put into the car's trunk.

Junghwan takes one last look at the ocean, now dark and mysterious, before he picks up a few things and follows Sihun back to where they parked the car. The parking lot is empty and Junghwan shivers, quickly putting everything where they should be and getting to the passenger's seat.

"That was," Sihun starts but doesn't finish the sentence, fastening his seat belt instead and Junghwan catches a glimpse of how swollen his lips are, feels sheepish knowing it was his doing.

"That was fun," Junghwan completes, not liking the silence all that much and wanting to get rid of the embarrassment coiling on his stomach. He knows there's nothing to be embarrassed about but he just made out with Sihun, can still feel the ghost feeling of his touch on his neck and face, looking him in the eyes will require a few more minutes. "Drive safely, hyung."

"Don't worry too much about it, it's a lot easier at night," Sihun assures him and turns the engine on, driving off right away.

The ride back goes by so fast that, when Sihun parks the car in front of the building, Junghwan is left to feel like the whole day was nothing but a fever dream.

"I'll get the stuff out of the car tomorrow, let's just bring the food up," Sihun says when he notices that Junghwan was on his way to retrieve Seongjun's camping paraphernalia. Junghwan nods, although he thinks it'd be a smarter move to do it now, and they enter the building, going up to their floor in silence.

The apartment is quiet and Junghwan wonders if Seongjun came back to the dorms or if he went with his mother after they were done shopping.

"You can go and shower first," Sihun whispers. "I have to do some laundry."

Junghwan sighs, he was so ready to go straight to bed but Sihun is right, he sweated too much earlier when they went hiking to not shower.

"Alright," he whispers back and they exchange a nod in the dark before each goes their own way. Junghwan tip-toes to his room, drops his phone on his bed, quickly grabs a clean pair of pajamas and rushes to the bathroom.

The sooner he's done, the sooner he can sleep.

It takes longer than he wishes it did since he decided to wash his hair and had to dry it off - no way he's going to sleep with it wet. He gathers his things and returns to his room, looking around when he passes by the hallway to see if Sihun is done with his laundry or not and seeing that the door to his room is open and the lights are off.

Once in the comfort of his bedroom, Junghwan puts his dirty clothes away and falls on top of his bed, retrieving his phone from underneath himself and checking the time.

It's midnight.

His stomach makes a sound suddenly and he closes his eyes with a sigh.

Of course he'd be hungry at this time. He considers going to the kitchen to get some of the things they brought back but he's too lazy to do it now. His bed is so comfortable that he decides to wait for a few more minutes, when the hunger turns into a feeling of starvation he'll get moving.

He plays on his phone to pass time, to pretend he's not waiting to hear Sihun's footsteps outside and come out at the same time he's in the hallway.

The thought surprises Junghwan in some way. He's acutely aware that today has changed everything, especially the way he perceives spending time with someone you're interested in.

He remembers how, after their first date, he questioned whether it was right that it felt like any other time they hung out instead of a date but he knows now that he was wrong for thinking that. After all, watching his parents every day showed him that the magic in a relationship is being able to enjoy the small, mundane things rather than big, extravagant plans - which is not wrong at all, but expecting that all the time is bound to make things hard in the long run.

Now, Junghwan wants to just sit down and enjoy a meal with Sihun while they talk about their day or watch whatever is on television in his company. Junghwan doesn't remember being this sappy but it is what it is.

Maybe he should tell Sihun how he feels, he doesn't remember mentioning anything to him today.

All he remembers is the kiss. Oh, the kiss. Junghwan covers his face with a pillow in embarrassment and rolls around until he touches the wall. He remains still and almost falls asleep but, from afar, he can hear the faint sound of the shower working.

He sits up, gets to his feet and paces around. He runs through a bunch of words in his mind and which he should use when talking to Sihun. He thinks of at least five different ways to tell Sihun that he likes him back, that he wouldn't mind holding his hand or getting kissed, that he wouldn't really care if Sihun wanted to invade his personal space without asking.

He feels mortified when he whispers those words out loud and decides to phrase it differently but the sound of the bathroom door opening startles him and Junghwan makes a run for it before Sihun goes to sleep.

Junghwan opens his door and Sihun jumps in surprise, towel hanging around his neck.

"What the hell, Junghwan-ah," he hisses and holds a hand to his heart. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sihun hyung," he whispers, licking his lips and feeling his mouth go dry. "I'm hungry again."

Sihun covers his mouth and laughs.

"Just let me put these things in my room and we can eat the leftovers," he whispers and Junghwan nods, remaining in place as he waits for Sihun to come back.

He's by his side in an instant and they go to the kitchen. Sihun takes out the plastic bag with the food from the fridge and they sit down.

"I thought you'd be asleep already," Sihun comments as he divides the remaining kimbaps in half and passes Junghwan's quota over to him. "You looked so tired."

Junghwan takes the first one and unwraps it, too hungry to even think of replying anything to what Sihun just said. He bites half of it in one go and looks up to see why Sihun is stifling a laugh.

"You look like a chipmunk," he explains when Junghwan frowns, chewing nonstop and nodding.

"I am tired," Junghwan says, covering his mouth that's still full, Sihun makes a face. "But I wanted to talk to you."

Sihun freezes, eyes roaming around in confusion.

"Is it about earlier?" he asks and eats, not meeting Junghwan's eyes.

"It is," Junghwan says and puts the kimbap down instead of finishing it off. Since he started talking about it, it's better to just go on and eat after he's done. "I think it's already implied but I still wanted to say it directly to you," Junghwan says and moves his feet under the table impatiently. Sihun nods and glances up at Junghwan shyly, a small smile reaching his lips. "Today was fun."

"You already said that," Sihun titters and Junghwan nudges him with his foot, Sihun presses his lips shut and looks up at him in surprise.

"Don't interrupt me," Junghwan scolds jokingly and Sihun grins at him. He clears his throat and looks down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. "Today was fun and I really like spending time with you, hyung. It's not something I ever thought of but going on these dates with you made me realize I like you too."

Sihun gasps and Junghwan almost laughs at how he was expecting this kind of reaction.

"Are you surprised?" Junghwan questions with a raised brow. He was sure Sihun had already connected the dots since he kissed him back but maybe not.

"I mean," Sihun coughs and looks away. "I figured but I didn't think you'd say it."

"I thought you'd like to hear it from me," Junghwan replies. The truth is that he wanted to tell him. It was a feeling he couldn't really control and just had to let Sihun know, he knows he'll even sleep better after this. "And for next Saturday, I already have something in mind for our date."

He smiles and gives Sihun a v-sign before going back to his food.

Sihun doesn't say anything but he looks happy. He eats with a grin fixed on his lips and he even wiggles his shoulders every now and then, a small habit of his which Junghwan noticed he does when happy and excited about something.

"I'm going to bed, I agreed to go out for soccer tomorrow and it's too late to back out now," Sihun says and stands up, gathering the trash from the table and putting it into the plastic bag. "Don't forget to brush your teeth."

Junghwan rolls his eyes and sighs. "I know but thanks for the reminder, I guess."

Sihun taps his shoulder, gets rid of the trash and leaves.

Junghwan stays there for a few more minutes, now perhaps a little less sleepy than earlier but tired nevertheless. So, as soon he yawns, he stands up to go to sleep.

He's getting to the bathroom to brush his teeth just like Sihun said, when he notices the light to Sihun's bedroom are still on.

For a brief second, he stops and thinks. Then he knocks on the door softly.

Junghwan hears muted footsteps and the door opens, Sihun peeks at him from between the gap with furrowed eyebrows.

"If I were sleeping already, I'd kick your ass," Sihun says in a whisper but not looking threatening at all. "What is it, Junghwan-ah? Hyung's about to go to bed, I really need to sleep."

"Ah, sorry, I just-" Junghwan sighs then he laughs. Why did he even knock on his door? Oh right, he remembers now. He takes a step closer and pushes the door a little wider with the tip of his index finger. "Goodnight, hyung."

Sihun closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, looks like he's on the verge of snapping at Junghwan when Junghwan leans forward and kisses him.

Normal Junghwan would never initiate skinship or any type of affection like this but it's late, Junghwan is not really thinking and he really wanted to kiss Sihun one last time before going to sleep as well.

The complaints Sihun had on the tip of his tongue are forgotten and he even kisses Junghwan back, pulls him closer by circling his arms around his neck.

Junghwan hears a door opening from his right and he jumps, pushing Sihun away.

"I'm going to pretend this is a dream and I did not just see the two of you making out in the middle of the hallway," Seongjun says, rubbing his eyes and entering the bathroom. He closes the door and locks it.

Sihun and Junghwan exchange a look before they burst out into giggles.

"Goodnight, Junghwanie," Sihun says and takes a step back into his room. "Sleep well."

Junghwan nods and turns around when Sihun closes the door. He still has to brush his teeth so he leans against the wall and waits for Seongjun to come out of it.

"Goodnight," Seongjun says as soon as he sees Junghwan, not sparing him a second glance and returning to the comfort of his bedroom. Junghwan shakes his head in amusement and enters the bathroom.

He brushes his teeth trying to think about what else he would like to do with Sihun next Saturday - he only thought of going to the movies but that's not enough - but he's too tired to come up with anything interesting right now.

Instead of thinking some more about it, he calls it a night and goes to bed. He's not sure he's creative enough to plan something as thoughtful as Sihun but he'll do his best to get as close as possible to it.

But if there's one thing Junghwan is sure of is that he's got a whole lot of inspiration for his songs He closes his eyes and falls asleep with a smile, excited to get to his studio and work on them.

He thinks about Sihun and he just knows: this is it.