Chapter Text
At twelve years old Kakashi thought he had seen the absolute worst of the world. Not only had he seen it, but he thought that he had committed the worst crimes a shinobi could and nothing else could blacken his soul further. But he was wrong.
It had been two years since then, two years since Minato-sensei assigned him to the Anbu Black-Ops, and in those two years Kakashi had seen more darkness than ever before. Following the third shinobi war, there were riots to suppress, hidden shinobi that refused to surrender, assassinations to consolidate power, missing comrades to find, and more work that Kakashi didn’t even want to think about. After a year of damage control, the Anbu were back on the market to be hired for the missions Konoha wouldn’t admit to or to be used in whatever way benefited the village. Kakashi knew that Minato-sensei thought he was helping Kakashi by keeping him focused and close by but if anything the Anbu had taught him to be more closed off and emotionless.
There were benefits though. Kakashi had so many missions that when he did exhaust himself enough to fall asleep, they were usually dreamless black voids. He never felt rested anymore, but it was better than reliving his failures every night.
The lack of sleep did get to him sometimes. Never would Kakashi again undervalue the life of a comrade, he had learned that lesson twice over now and a third time would destroy him, but yet he still values the rules as any good shinobi does. When caught between risking the mission or risking a comrade, Kakashi had found a wonderful exploit. It was much easier to throw yourself into danger than watch your comrades die.
That mentality, plus the severe exhaustion that clung to his limbs is what had him reporting to the Hokage’s office. ‘As soon as you’re released from the hospital’ the message had said, and as much as Kakashi would rather do anything else, the power Minato-sensei had over him as both the Hokage and his sensei forced him to obey the command.
Kakashi forced himself to knock confidently on the door, like the Jonin shinobi he was and not the scared Genin he felt like.
Kakashi let himself in after hearing his sensei call him, “Good afternoon, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi greeted, bowing his head.
“Ah, Kakashi, it’s good to see you. How are you feeling? Fully recovered?” Minato greeted him warmly. Even though Kakashi knew he was there to be scolded, Minato had always made Kakashi feel relaxed and safe. Even Kakashi killing his Genin team was not enough for Minato to look at him with scorn.
“I have been cleared for duty,” Kakashi replied dutifully.
Minato smiled at him and nodded, “I see that, but if your injuries are still causing you pain I can always give you a couple more days to recover. A shinobi’s health should always be the priority.”
Kakashi stiffened but controlled his features. He hated being treated like a child, “My injuries are not causing me any trouble, Hokage-sama. You will see on my file that I am fit for duty,” Kakashi repeated, training his eyes on the wall above Minato-sensei’s head so he wouldn’t see the man frown.
Minato hummed before grabbing a folder from his desk drawer, “Why don’t you sit down Kakashi, there is no reason to stand there so stiff,” Kakashi took the seat but didn’t allow himself to become comfortable. Minato-sensei was up to something. He never acted this coy with Kakashi. Before he could speculate more, Minato interrupted his thoughts, “Kakashi, how are you doing?”
“I am fully healed,” Kakashi repeated for the third time.
Minato sighed and leaned on folded hands, looking Kakashi directly in the eye, “Kakashi, I’m not asking about your physical health.”
Kakashi tilted his head. The Anbu had psych evaluations every three months or after a traumatic incident to ensure they were capable of fighting still. Kakashi had passed his just last month, “I passed my evaluation last month, Hokage-sama. Do you require me to undergo another before returning me to duty?”
Minato-sensei smiled at him, but he looked sad, “Kakashi, I’ve realized lately that I have been a poor sensei to you these past few years.” Kakashi stared at the man in shook and almost jumped to the man’s defence before Minato raised a placating hand to calm him, “I thought giving you time and keeping your mind focused would allow you time to heal and process, but the longer I give you space the more you seem to close in on yourself. Kakashi, you have passed all your evaluations with flying colours, but we both know that is not hard to do.”
Kakashi tried to protest, but Minato-sensei hushed him again, “I’m not saying you’re not suited for duty. You are the most efficient shinobi I’ve ever seen, truly one of the best Konoha has to offer… but,” Minato gave him a sad smile before continuing, “Kakashi, the way you act on missions, the way I’ve seen you act outside of missions… it’s like you don’t care whether you live or die anymore. Like you think your only purpose is to be a tool for the village.”
Kakashi sat stiffly in his chair, staring above Minato’s head, “I complete my missions as expected, Hokage-sama, and I remain in peak physical fitness, as required of all shinobi,” he responded dully, ignoring all of Minato’s concerns.
Minato didn’t seem surprised or even upset. He opened the file he had grabbed before, “These are some concerns I’ve received from your friends and comrades in and out of Anbu, just in the past two years. ‘seems closed off and withdrawn’, ‘kills enemies with a cold efficiency most Anbu don’t achieve for years’, ‘is reckless with his life’, ‘has never requested leave and must be forced to finish mandatory medical rest’. Those are just some of the reports I’ve seen over the years.”
Kakashi cringed internally at each comment. None were false, and he had no rebuttal to any of them. Still, he clenched his fist and gave his former sensei the best glare his Anbu training could give, “Hokage-sama, respectfully, these reports have no bearing on my ability to serve the village. I have passed all physical and mental evaluations given to me. These reports are meaningless.”
Minato said nothing, just removed a page from the folder and signed it before handing it to Kakashi, “Starting today you have been removed from the Anbu Black Ops and will continue to serve Konoha as a Jonin.”
Kakashi stared at the paper, desperately wanting to tear it to shreds. Minato-sensei didn’t believe he was strong enough to protect the village anymore. He was being demoted. He followed every rule, never lost a subordinate, and never irreparably failed a mission, he was a perfect shinobi in every sense of the word. Instead, he stood and bowed his head, “Yes Hokage.”
“Kakashi,” Minato’s voice was soft and pleading, enough that Kakashi willing looked into his eyes for the first time since the beginning of the meeting, “This is not a punishment. You are still so young and you have more worth than just being a soldier. You have a week of mandatory leave. When the week is over, report to me directly. I will have a mission ready for you.”
Kakashi nodded, “Yes Hokage.”
Minato gave him one last warm smile before dismissing him. Kakashi turned and left, feeling more hollow than he thought possible.
In the week since Kakashi had been removed from Anbu, he had done nothing but train. The training grounds were littered with destroyed trees that were miraculously repaired the next time Kakashi saw them. By the end of the week, Kakashi had given himself near chakra exhaustion twice but he felt his stamina slowly improving. When he first invented Chidori at age ten he could hardly use it more than once a day without passing out from chakra exhaustion and that was before he added Obito’s Sharingan to it. Now he could safely use it three times in rapid succession and maintain it for over an hour.
Even now, just hours before Minato-sensei would be expecting him to report to receive his mission, Kakashi was on the training ground. The sun hadn’t even risen yet, but he could see everything clearly with Obito’s sharingan and the light of Chidori. Kakashi felt the familiar drain of chakra from the eye, and the slight numbing sting of the electricity in his palm. As his hand sank through the trunk, Kakashi felt the even more familiar feeling of panic and dread as the image of Rin’s dying face flashed through his brain but he pushed through it. Since his Sharingan was activated the image would never leave his head and every time he used Chidori he could see her. Since her death two years ago, Kakashi had killed Rin hundreds of times.
When the sun rose above the trees Kakashi finished with his training. He had a mission today and he could not prove to Minato-sensei that he was a perfect shinobi if he showed up half-chakra exhausted.
An hour later he was standing in front of Minato-sensei again, who smiled at him fondly. Kakashi was starting to hate that smile as much as it warmed him. Minato-sensei had always had the annoying ability to treat him both like a formidable shinobi and a child.
“How are you today, Kakashi?”
In his week off, Kakashi had examined the conversation that lead to his demotion time and time again. The conclusion he came to was that Minato- sensei wanted him to act less like a shinobi. How did Rin and Obito talk to him again? “I’m fine sensei, I feel rested and ready for my mission.” Kakashi almost cringed at himself. That sounded nothing like Rin, Obito or himself.
Minato-sensei noticed too but didn’t say anything, “That’s excellent to hear, I hope you spent that time recovering and resting,” Kakashi didn’t, Minato-sensei knew that, but he nodded anyway. Again, Minato-sensei didn’t contradict him, instead, he handed Kakashi his mission scroll.
“There is a small village on the border of the Land of Fire and the Land of Rivers, they have been harassed and ransacked by bandits for years now and the Daimyos refuse to do anything as neither claims ownership of them. They have been saving to hire a team of shinobi to protect their harvest this year, but could only afford to pay for one,” Kakashi looked over the scroll, there was little to no risk of meeting a missing-nin or fighting other shinobi. If not for the fact that Kakashi would be alone against a group of over a dozen men, he would assume this mission would be given a B-rank at most.
“It is usually protocol to send a team of three or to refuse the mission if the client cannot pay, is it not, Hokage-sama?”
“Yes, but I will not refuse villages under my protection who need help. Our forces are still low from the war and I will not send any more genin or academy students to fight when they aren’t ready.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama.”
“Your primary mission is to eliminate the threat of bandits but prioritize your life over the mission. Read over the mission scroll and make for the village before nightfall.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi bowed his head and turned to leave.
“Oh, and Kakashi,” Minato-sensei called after him, “try not to be so… curt with the villages, they aren’t used to seeing shinobi and may be on edge.”
Stopping just before the door, Kakashi tried to remember Obito and Rin again, to be the kind of shinobi that Minato-sensei would approve of. Kakashi turned his head and smiled lightly at Minato the way he had seen Rin do hundreds of times, “Yes sensei,” before leaving the office.
Minato smiled sadly at the retreating form of his former student. He had failed Rin and Obito, but Kakashi was still here, still alive and Minato would not let him throw his life away anymore.
Kakashi arrived at the edge of the little village just two days after leaving Konoha. There were large fields of rice patties and a few huts here and there. As he made his way further into the village center the huts became closer together, but nowhere near how they looked in Konoha. At the village center, there seemed to be a general store and some form of a blacksmith or toolsmith.
The mission scroll guided him to meet with Itsuki, the owner of the general store, so he entered the store.
“Ah hello, I’ll be with you in just one minute!” an old man’s voice called from behind the counter. Kakashi looked around the store. It was small, almost like it was a house’s living room converted to a store, and held mostly items related to farming with some luxury items behind the counter. When the man looked at Kakashi, he looked frightened, then confused, before settling on unsure, “Hello, shinobi sir, can I help you?”
Be like Rin and Obito Kakashi told himself, or at least be less like yourself.
Kakashi raised his hand in greeting, “Hello sir, are you Itsuki? I’m the shinobi sent from the Hidden Leaf Village to help with your bandit problem,” he tried to smile too, but it felt too unnatural.
“You’re the shinobi they sent? How old are you kid? Twelve? These are grown men, bandits! They are dangerous. Go back, and tell your Hokage that we need a real shinobi to help. A little kid isn’t going to do anything.” Itsuki’s brow was furled with worry more than anger.
Kakashi crossed his arms, glaring at the man, “Unfortunately, I was the one that the Hokage sent to help you with your problem. If you send me away another shinobi will not be sent to help you. I am fully capable of dealing with your problem.”
“You’re a child, you’re not capable of dealing with these men. They are brutal bandits who care about nothing but money. You will die.”
Kakashi sighed and pushed down his irritation, remembering Minato’s words, “Look, you can allow me to help you or you can send me away. We both know that even if another shinobi was sent they wouldn’t make it in time. I am a shinobi of the highest rank in Konoha and am more than capable of dealing with your bandit situation and protecting your village. Your options are to trust me or let your village suffer.”
Itsuki eyed him skeptically before relenting, “Fine. If you die I won’t be held responsible.”
“That won’t happen.”
Itsuki scoffed and shook his head, “Well you better come along with me. You’ll be needing a place to sleep,” he said before disappearing into the room behind his counter.
Kakashi followed the man into a small, but cozy room. It looked like a combination of a kitchen, dining room, and living room all in one. The man didn’t stop to look around, instead leading Kakashi up the stairs that were at the back of the room. On the second floor, there were three doors.
“This is my room, my daughter and granddaughter will be sleeping with me while you’re here. That’s the bathroom, and this,” he opened the last door. There were kid's toys piled in the corner and a bedroll spread out on the floor, “will be your room for your stay. Ignore the toys, they belong to my granddaughter.”
“You don’t have to put your daughter and granddaughter out, I can sleep on the floor downstairs,” Kakashi offered, mostly to be polite.
Itsuki huffed, “Nonsense. If you insist on being here, you will be treated like our guest,” Kakashi nodded and dropped his bag on the ground, “You must have had a long journey. I’ll leave you to rest. We’ll call you when dinner is ready.”
Kakashi nodded and Itsuki left him alone. His mission depended on when the bandits arrived or if Kakashi could find them beforehand, but either way he would be here for at least a week. It wouldn’t hurt to start surveillance after dark.
The door creaked open and Kakashi whipped around, kunai in one hand and the other on his headband, ready to reveal Obito’s Sharingan. A little girl, aged maybe four or five raced into the room, beaming at him.
“Wow! You’re the shinobi! A real shinobi! Can you do magic? I heard shinobi can do magic!” She was practically vibrating with excitement as she babbled on and on.
Kakashi put the kunai away and willed Itsuki or the girl’s mother to come and collect her, assuming this was Itsuki’s granddaughter.
“So can you?” The girl grabbed his shirt hem and pulled on it to emphasize her point.
“Uh,” Kakashi was so out of his depth. What would Rin and Obito have done? Kakashi put on his best smile for the girl and pat her head awkwardly, “I can manipulate chakra, it’s not quite like magic.”
The girl's eyes widened in awe. She stared at him for a long moment, seemingly trying to grasp the dramatic reveal, before grabbing the hand on her head and dragging him out the door.
“Uh, where are we going?” Kakashi stumbled after her but didn’t rip his hand away because he didn’t want to hurt the girl. Also because Minato-sensei told him to be nice.
“You’re gonna teach me magic!” She shouted as she dragged him down the stairs and into the living room. Seeing no escape, Kakashi followed the girl out the back door so they wouldn’t run into Itsuki.
Now outside, the girl brought him to a small clearing near the edge of a rice patty. It was within eyeshot of her house so Kakashi wasn’t too concerned, but he still wasn’t sure what he should be doing.
The girl tugged on his arm, “Do magic now!”
Be Rin and Obito. Kakashi smiled down at the girl, “What do you want to see?” He gently removed his arm from her grasp.
“Anything!” She was vibrating on the spot again.
Kakashi studied the girl for a second before bringing his hands together for signs, “Transformation Jutsu,” Kakashi called, before turning into the girl in front of him.
The girl was speechless as she stared at him in awe again, “You’re me!” she finally cried. She reached out a finger and poked Kakashi’s forehead. She burst into giggles and clapped excitedly. Kakashi felt his lips quirk into a smile. The unabashed joy and praises from the girl were nice, he couldn’t remember the last time his skills were complimented for something other than killing.
He broke the henge and the girl pouted, “Do something else!”
Spurred on by the girl's enthusiasm, Kakashi went to the edge of the patty field, “Come here.” The girl trotted over and mimicked his crouch next to the water. Kakashi ran through the forty signs as quickly as possible, the girl watching in awe as his hands moved in quick precise sequences, before putting a minuscule amount of chakra into his fingertips and touching the water surface, “Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu!”
A tiny water dragon leap out of the water and landed on the girl’s head, drenching her hair and pushing her back in shock. She squealed with joy and jumped to her feet, “Teach me that one! Please!” She grabbed Kakashi’s shoulders and shook him back and forth.
Kakashi actually laughed a little at the girl, but shook his head, “I can’t, that’s too advanced for you… though I might be able to teach you something, but you have to tell me your name first.”
The girl nodded enthusiastically, “Naomi!”
“I’m Kakashi.”
“Kakashi-sensei!”
Kakashi sighed and rubbed his brow, but something in his chest loosened.
For the rest of the afternoon, Kakashi sat across from Naomi explaining the basic concepts of chakra to her. He gave her the task of balancing a leaf on her forehead and was sitting back watching her try and fail when a woman came up to them.
“Naomi, are you bothering the shinobi?” She was a kind, young woman with soft brown hair like Naomi and a gentle smile that reminded Kakashi of Rin.
“No mama, Kakashi-sensei is teaching me about karkra!” she exclaimed, holding the leaf to her forehead like chakra was holding it there.
“Chakra,” Kakashi corrected, “and you’ll never be able to do it if you keep getting distracted.” Kakashi scolded her lightly like Minato-sensei used to do to Obito.
“Yes, sensei!” Naomi stood straight again and screwed her brow in concentration.
Naomi’s mother laughed at the display and sat in the grass next to Kakashi, “she isn’t bothering you is she?” she asked him quietly so the little girl couldn’t hear.
Kakashi tilted his head. She really wasn’t. He had felt out of depth in the beginning, but the girl’s cheerful determination was oh so familiar that he slipped into a comfortable relaxation he hadn’t felt in a while, “No, she’s fine.”
The woman smiled at him, “Good. I’m Maya. My father says you are the shinobi from the Hidden Leaf?”
“Kakashi. Yes, I was sent here to help with your bandit issue.”
“Um, not to offend you, but you seem a little young to be a shinobi?”
Kakashi stiffened into a more shinobi-like posture subconsciously, “I’m a Jonin of the Leaf. I’ve been a shinobi since before I was her age,” he nodded his head towards the girl struggling with the leaf.
Maya brought a hand to her face, eyes wide, “Since that young?” she looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself. She dropped her hand and beamed at him, “You must be very skilled then. I’m grateful to have you!”
When was the last time anyone had been grateful to see him? Kakashi was shinobi made for the shadows. All this recognition was making him uncomfortable, “Uh, you’re welcome?” Kakashi tried. Maya just smiled back at him.
“Kakashi-sensei!” Naomi shrieked across the clearing. Kakashi was on his feet in a second, but instead of a hoard of bandits, he saw a thrilled little girl beaming at him with a leaf precariously stuck to her forehead. It looked like it was more from sweat than chakra, but he could see some chakra in there.
“Huh,” she looked up at him expectantly, so he awkwardly pat her head, “Uh, good job?”
She yelled in triumph again before throwing herself at Kakashi in excitement. He pats her head again awkwardly while Maya giggled in the background. A warm feeling welled up in his chest. He thinks Rin and Obito would have been proud of him.
Kakashi spent the next couple of days surveying the area for signs of bandits while dodging Naomi’s attempts at more training. He didn’t mind spending time with the girl, but he was here for a mission, and missions always came first.
Every dinner he ate with the small family, Naomi would insist he does ‘magic’, while Maya would ask him about the village. Even Itsuki seemed grudgingly accepting of him after Kakashi set a few seals around the edges of the village to sense for the bandits if they attacked. He even asked Kakashi if he could do that to their house. Kakashi couldn’t, of course, because the seals were Kushina and Minato’s, but he taught him to set traps at night.
It only took one day of the bandits being in the area before he found them. They were camped a little ways into the woods at the edge of the small village. They probably thought they were being clever and keeping well hidden, but it took Kakashi less than an hour after smelling something off in the area before he found their camp of noisy men and loud fires. They didn’t even see him as he surveyed the camp.
There were maybe a dozen men, all looked to be well-trained, but none looked to know how to wield chakra. There was one man, the leader probably, that seemed especially good with the sword strapped to his back, not to mention that he was almost three times the size of the barely-teenaged Kakashi. The group would be easy enough to take out if he caught them by surprise, while they were sleeping. At night they had two men on rotation, but they seemed to think that their camp was too well hidden to be attacked. How wrong they would be.
On the fourth night of his being there and the second night of the bandits being camped out, Kakashi decided to make his move or risk the bandits moving or attacking the village.
He snuck out of Itsuki’s hut without disturbing the sleeping family about an hour past midnight. When he arrived at the camp. Circling the camp once, he saw the two men on guard were awake, but not alert, and it seemed like all the other members of the camp were asleep.
Taking the two guards out was almost too easy. All it took was two deadly kunai throws and Kakashi was inside the camp. Keeping quiet and working slowly and carefully, Kakashi went to each tent, one by one and killed each man as they slept. All silent. None woke. He counted as he killed. He counted eight men in total. Not twelve. Eight. Only eight.
Kakashi scanned the camp again for chakra or smells that he might have missed. There was nothing. Not hesitating for a second, he summoned Pakkun. The little pug looked up at him seriously. He always seemed to know when Kakashi summoned him for work and not play.
“Pakkun, I need you to track the scent of any man not dead in the camp.”
“Got it, Boss,” Pakkun took just a minute to smell the dead men and then around the camp, before calling out to him and taking off towards the edge of the camp. Back towards the little village Kakashi came from.
Kakashi would never admit it, but a little feeling of panic seized his chest. He pushed it down. This was a mission. He had a mission. Kakashi Hatake did not fail missions. This would be no different.
When Kakashi got back to the village, it was strangely calm. Not any calmer than any other night Kakashi had been out here, but it was a strange calm because Pakkun was sure that the men’s trail led right to Itsuki’s general store. Kakashi himself could smell the men now, so he dismissed Pakkun after slipping the dog a treat and promised him walks later.
Entering the silent store, Kakashi immediately smelled blood. It was so strong he almost had to cover his nose from gagging. His mind flashed horrible images of Obito trapped under a rock, of Rin with his hand through her chest but instead, their faces flicked away, replaced with Naomi and Maya. Kakashi forced it down and pushed himself forward.
In the doorway of the shop, a bandit lay dead from the trap Itsuki and Kakashi lay together. Relief flooded Kakashi, but the panic still clenched around his chest. Two men were left. That was nothing to Kakashi. But there were people he needed to protect in the house too. People that couldn’t defend themselves. People whose only hope of living was him. That thought terrified him as much as it steeled his will.
In the main room, an unremarkable bandit was clutching Naomi hard enough to bruise while his boss did the same thing with Maya. Itsuki was laying almost motionless on the ground, the shallow rise and fall of his chest the only indication he was alive.
“Kakashi-sensei!” Naomi yelled, obviously relieved at his arrival.
Kakashi gave her his best Obito smile, “Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright.” Despite the situation, Naomi beamed back at him.
“Oh, is it really?” the leader grinned, clutching Maya hard enough to make her gasp in pain. Kakashi tightened his fists but didn’t make a move.
“Let them go. I’m a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf. You have no hope against me. If you let them go, I’ll let you live.” It was only half a bluff. Kakashi was stronger than them. He wasn’t a sensor but there was no sign of chakra use, so a single Jutsu would take them both out. He just didn’t want to traumatize Naomi or Maya, he was trying to be nice like Sensei said. No, the only bluff was that he’d let them live.
“You’re just a kid, one punch from me would probably kill you. I won’t offer you the same deal. I’m going to kill this little family, then I’m going to take my time killing you, brat.” The leader snarled. Maya looked alarmed in the man’s arm. She looked like she was worried for him but not herself, almost like she wanted to tell him to run. Huh, that was a new expression. As Hound, even those he was protecting looked at him with unmasked terror or they looked at him like he was just a tool to be used and discarded.
Kakashi straighten his back, trying to look strong and shinobi-like to reassure Maya that he would protect her, “I’m not a kid. I’m a Jonin of the Leaf. I won’t let those under my care die, not to scum like you.”
The man laughed and brought his sword up but he never got the chance to raise it past his waist. Kakashi’s headband was up and Obito’s Sharingan swirling before the man even twitched his wrist. He turned to the man holding Naomi and put him under the same genjustu. Both men drop their respective captives and mechanically marched out of the hut. It was almost too easy.
Naomi threw herself at his waist, forcing him to accept her hug, “Kakashi-sensei! I knew you would come but I didn’t tell them anything so you could be sneaky!” she mumbled into his chest, sniffling. Kakashi shushed her and patted her hair, almost automatically. A whimper from across the room caught his attention.
Maya had helped Itsuki to his feet. He didn’t seem too injured, just in shock mostly, and he was already standing on his own. He was looking at Kakashi was a mix of awe and pride that Kakashi had never seen outside of his father or Minato-sensei.
By Itsuki’s side, Maya was looking at him with wide, shocked eyes that were filling with tears. He smiled at her again to reassure her, but the tears overflowed her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Kakashi looked at her in alarm, having no idea how to comfort a grown woman. That didn’t stop Maya from wrapping her arms around Kakashi, just as tightly as Naomi was, and sobbing quiet ‘thank-yous’ into his hair. He patted her back just as awkwardly as he patted Naomi’s head. He didn’t know how but it seemed to help.
Itsuki was the last to join, wrapping them all in a strong grip that reminded Kakashi too much of his father. All the older man said was a simple “Good job,” and patted his head like Kakashi was patting Naomi.
No one seemed to be letting go, so Kakashi submitted himself to the hug. It was nice. He had saved people, actually saved them. And they were thanking him. They were treating him like he wasn’t someone could easily kill them if he wanted to. Like he wasn’t a monster or a failure. And he felt like he wasn’t one either. There was a warm feeling of pride welling in his chest that was different than the satisfaction of completing a mission with no injuries in Anbu. It felt nice compared to the bone-deep anxiety that accompanied Anbu missions.
Oh, Kakashi thought suddenly, this is how being a shinobi is supposed to feel.
Kakashi left the village the next day, after disposing of the two final bandits and he arrived in the Hokage’s office the day after that. Minato-sensei didn’t look shocked when Kakashi entered through the window instead of the door, but he did raise a disapproving eyebrow at him. For the first time, Kakashi actually had to suppress giving the man a cocky smile. He’d never had the urge to even give one before. Or at least not since Rin and Obito.
“I see you’re back from your mission. How did it go?” Minato-sensei asked, putting his papers down and giving Kakashi his full attention.
“It was a simple mission. No casualties. Only one minor civilian injury. I was able to take down all targets without engaging in physical combat,” Kakashi summarized.
Minato-sensei looked impressed and gave him an approving smile, “Good! You can have the standard one day of rest after a mission, and be back here afterwards for your next mission.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi bowed and went to leave. He only reached the door before stopping short and turning back to his former sensei, “Actually, Minato-sensei…” Kakashi started but trailed off. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask.
Minato-sensei was patient though and gave the boy his full attention.
Kakashi faced Minato-sensei, clenching his fists by his hips and keeping his head low, “When you went on missions – or rather how do you…” Kakashi trailed off, not really sure what he wanted to know but settled on a simple question for now, “Why did you want to be a shinobi?”
Minato leaned back and thought about it, “Kakashi, what do you think a shinobi’s job is?” Minato asked, refusing to give Kakashi a straight answer the way teachers often did.
Kakashi furrowed his brow at Minato, but answered the simple question anyway, “To protect, serve, and if needed, die for the village.”
Minato nodded, “You’re not wrong Kakashi, but I think your answer is incomplete. As much as shinobi are tasked with serving the village, the village must serve the shinobi as well. So I guess I wanted to be a shinobi to help serve the people of Konoha and protect them. As well as earn their respect and recognition,” Minato added sheepishly at the end.
Kakashi tilted his head, considering, “Would you have done anything else if you could?”
“No,” Minato said without hesitation, “I was lucky enough to be born stronger than most and I feel I must protect my comrades until they are strong enough to protect themselves. My dream is that the younger generation will become stronger than me and use that strength to forge peace instead of war, with successive generation using their strength for peace instead of war until there is no longer a need for shinobi at all.”
“Do you really think that’s possible? A world safe enough that we don’t need shinobi at all?”
“I’d like to think so. Just think, a hundred years ago the thought of warring clans coming together and creating villages to protect each other was just a dream too,” Minato beamed at him, “Plus, I already have faith in the younger generation since you’re part of it.”
Kakashi’s breath caught in his throat and he blushed furiously under his mask, “Yes, of course, Sensei. Thank you.”
“But Kakashi,” Minato called to him before he could leave, “my dream can only come true if you’re there to see it, so please try and take care until then.”
Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek before giving the man a short, curt nod, “Of course, Sensei.”