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“No.” A sound as final as any she’d ever heard, locking the door on the life she’d dreamed of for herself, leaving her to wonder what could possibly come next. “You cannot.”
“Why?” she managed to ask, and managed to remain present and calm through the embarrassed blustering that came next, culminating in the fact that she couldn’t inherit because of her sex, her gender, and her heritage. Even if others might… MIGHT, mind… consider a female inheriting, the Ashkevron line certainly would not.
That was it then. She walked calmly back to her rooms, only allowing herself to release her anger and disappointment once she was safely within their sheltering walls.
No-one spoke of it again. Everyone else assumed that Savil had resigned herself to her role – both what it would contain and what it would not.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
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Savil bided her time, throwing herself back into her work with a frenzy that only that kind of heart-deep disappointment could generate. She spoke when spoken to, did everything expected of her, and otherwise, remained silent and aloof.
But something in her heart, her mind, her soul, was rising and would not be denied. She began to have odd feelings, experiences, things she couldn’t explain to herself and had less than no desire to explain to others.
Eventually, she began to sense the thoughts, the presence of another. In the back of her head; in the back of her mind. Co-incidences began to happen around her with increasing frequency as the presence grew stronger.
Fortunately, the presence was kind and loving, and in this place of the minds where lying was next to impossible, she knew this being meant only good for her.
So, she revelled in that presence as she bided her time, and worked on the little she understood of what was happening to her.
One day, the presence grew so strong that she could no longer bear to wait to find out who this was, this loving being in the back of her head and mind, the one who promised unending love, support for her to be as she was, not what society would have her be.
One day, she struck out for Haven, never looking back.
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When she reached the outskirts of Haven, she heard the chime of bell-like hooves and bridle bells, saw white horsehair and impossibly-deep blue eyes, and learned exactly who had been in the back of her mind, her heart.
Kellan. A Companion mare, a strong female as she herself was.
A good match for what was to come.
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She needed that strength during her days at the Collegium. Seen as odd, in her own way, being a runaway from the nobility as she was. Not for the runaway part, but for where she had run from. Nothing was ever said – ‘No One True Way’ certainly applied to the students of the Collegia – but Savil could tell nonetheless, even without the Gift of Empathy.
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She also needed it later, after she had graduated into full Whites and found herself a student – and eventually Wingsister – to Starwind k’Treva. The Telaydras suffered no fools and Starwind even less. If she had not shown strength and dedication, she would have been politely – and firmly – sent back to Valdemar.
The fact that she was not, said something important about her. Which was why, when she returned to Valdemar at last, she found herself with a seat on the Council – as well as the responsibility of mentor to trainees.
Sometimes at night when she was in her bed, preparing to allow herself to journey on the road to sleep, the better to prepare herself for tomorrow, she would think back to the girl she had been, with her impossible Dream, and compare that to who she was now.
Overall, she found she could not complain. She might not be the ruler of a noble house, but she was a valued member of a group that helped to take care of and lead an entire nation.
Not bad for a woman, she would think savagely in the direction of those who had told her ‘No!’ all those years ago. ‘You cannot!’ for no better reason than the form her body took.
An answering nicker in the back of her mind and head agreed.
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