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Hitoshi Shinsou never had many friends growing up.
In all honesty, he had none.
The kids he did hang around with, or more like he glued himself to, treated him as if he were a disease.
He didn’t care if those kids bullied him or called him a villain. He didn’t care how much those words stung or how much it hurt to watch them cower in fear.
It didn’t matter to him at all, because at least he wasn’t alone.
And he had been alone for most of his life.
Well, that was until his favorite hero Eraserhead and his husband Present Mic came into his orphanage and took him out of that god forsaken place.
And suddenly, he wasn’t alone anymore.
He had a bed to finally sleep on, clothes that only belonged to him, food that was easily accessible.
He had a home.
He had parents.
And he instantly became extremely protective of both.
Hitoshi never thought that anything could come in and destroy the one thing he had wished to have since he was a child.
He never thought someone could come in and take away his family.
But then, a certain green haired boy in his dad’s heroic class, came into the picture and disrupted everything he had finally just obtained.
His dad would never stop talking about his so-called “problem child,” his papa would never stop talking about the “little listener” in his class who was fluent in English, his parents would never stop talking about the green haired boy named Izuku Midoriya.
And that caused his blood to boil and his hands to clench.
Hitoshi Shinsou, although never truly hating anyone growing up, couldn’t help but hate the green haired boy named Izuku Midoriya with every fiber of his being.
And he would be damned if he let that boy take his parents away.
If he let Izuku Midoriya rip his family away from him.
Hitoshi Shinsou lost in the sports festival against the green haired boy.
He was so angry and so full of rage that he avoided his parents that entire evening at home.
He couldn’t hear how proud the green haired boy made them.
He couldn’t bear to hear how that boy gained more control over his quirk and was making progress.
He couldn’t bear to hear his parents talk as if they were replacing him.
Because to Hitoshi, they were trying to replace him.
It wasn’t until he heard his dad leave for patrol that he crawled out of his room to make something to eat.
Thoughts about if he did something wrong or if he just wasn’t good enough to be their son plagued his mind as he approached the kitchen.
He didn’t know why he was being pushed aside.
He didn’t know why he wasn’t enough for them.
He was so full of turmoil and too tired to actually make a healthy meal that once he finally did reach the kitchen, he decided to just grab a granola bar and stare out the window that was positioned above the sink.
He tried to stare up at the bright gray moon like he did as a child whenever he was feeling just too much.
He tried to reassure himself that his fathers loved him.
But the more he stared at the moon, the more he realized, if his fathers wanted the green haired boy so much, then he wouldn’t be the one to stand in their way.
He wouldn’t be the one that prevented them from loving him.
So with his mind made up, he went back to his room, packed his bag, left through the window of his room, and disappeared into the night.
As he walked down the familiar path of his neighborhood, tears fell freely off his face.
He didn’t want to leave.
He wanted nothing more but to stay with the men he called his fathers.
But he refused to be a nuisance.
So he continued on his path with the ache of no longer having a family clawing at his heart.
Hitoshi had been walking for two hours before he started to regret his decision of leaving in the dead of night.
He was cold and he had forgotten his jacket. His legs burned and his feet hurt. He was tired and his back still ached from getting slammed into the concrete earlier in the day.
After walking for about ten more minutes, Hitoshi looked up and saw a run down building.
Normally, he would have avoided going into a place like that, but it had roof access from the signs that were displayed and he just wanted to sit down somewhere.
So with his heart still heavy and his head still full, he made his way up the stairs all the way to the roof.
As he finally got to the roof and stood in the middle, he couldn’t help but remember his younger years.
There was a time in his life where Hitoshi would have been on a roof for an entirely different reason.
But that was when he was younger and thought he had nothing to live for. That was when he wanted to just experience peace for once in his life.
This time, he just wanted to find the peace he had been experiencing for the past two years. He just needed to think, and he couldn’t do that on a busy street or a creepy empty park.
He sat down in the middle of the roof on the cold hard concrete and stared up at the moon. He sat cross crossed with both of his arms behind him as support while he leaned back.
He stared at that bright full moon with eyes full of sorrow and pain.
Hitoshi didn’t know how long he sat there just watching. His head was so full of thoughts but he couldn’t comprehend any of them. So he just watched the moon as if it were his lifeline.
He didn’t know how much time had passed since he left the house he had called home. However, judging by the worried voices he heard from the world below, he knew it must have been awhile.
It wasn’t long until he heard rapid footsteps approaching him. There were two sets of them, so two different people.
One set was loud while the other one was silent.
It wasn’t hard to figure out it was his papa and dad coming for him, and he was proved correct when not even a second later, the door that led to the roof had been flung open so hard it sounded as if it tore off its hinges.
One second Hitoshi was leaning back looking at the moon and the next he was being squished to death by his fathers.
He heard his papa chant “my baby, my baby, my baby” over and over again as if it were his own personal mantra. His dad didn't say a word. But at the same time, he didn’t have to. The way he was being pulled into his chest and squeezed as a teddy bear was enough to know just how worried the other man was as well.
Hitoshi just sat there.
He wanted to squeeze his fathers back just as tight, but he didn’t know if he got that privilege anymore. Not after what he did.
After a while of being squished to death, his dad pulled back and stood up while dragging both his husband and his son to their feet.
“It’s late and cold. We’re going to head back to the apartment and then we are going to talk.” His dad spoke out into the night.
And Hitoshi being the absolute menace he is, just simply looked down at his feet and agreed. He was a menace for sure, but he also did not have a death wish when it came to talking back to his dad.
Hitoshi allowed his dad and his papa to pull him down the stairs while they shoved him into the warm car and drove the 30 minutes home.
Neither parents said a word the entire way back. And Hitoshi was secretly grateful for that. He didn’t even think he could respond in the moment even if he wanted to.
He allowed himself to be pulled back into the warmth of his home, changed and put into warmer clothes, and pushed down on the couch facing both parents who sat on the coffee table in front of him.
The entire time, Hitoshi stared down at his feet.
He knew he messed up. He was old enough to know you just don't get up and leave when things get rough.
But he also wasn’t in the right state of mind when he made that choice. And emotionally distressed or not, he knew he deeply hurt his parents.
“Hitoshi look at us,” his father spoke to him in a stern tone. “Please,” he added after a light shove from his husband and in a lighter tone as well.
Hitoshi chanced a look up and saw both of his parents expressions.
His dad harbored a grim frown as his eyes were filled with worry and confusion. His papa on the other hand, looked absolutely distraught. And after seeing that look on his papa’s face, Hitoshi curled in on himself and finally allowed himself to break down into tears.
He was once again enveloped into a strong warm hug, but this time, he hugged back with the same strength.
It took some time for Hitoshi to get his heart and breathing under control, but once he did, he was back to staring at his hands while both parents still stared at him.
“Why Hitoshi?” his dad asked.
But Hitoshi being stubborn, just bit his lip and shrugged.
“Baby please, was it something we did? Did we do anything to make you feel as if you couldn’t come to us? Did we hurt you in any way?” His papa asked, voice full of pain.
Hitoshi still refused to mutter a word, staying strong.
“Is it because you don’t like it here,” and before Hizashi, his papa, could even speak another word, Hitoshi burst out with a strong “no” before going into detail about how much he loved living with them. He wasn’t going to let his parents doubt their ability to provide a loving home.
“Then why?” his dad asked again after he was done going into detail about how much he enjoyed being with them.
“I just didn’t want to be in the way,” Hitoshi finally got out after realizing he wasn’t going to be able to leave the conversation until he answered.
“In the way of what?” Hizashi asked.
Now, Hitoshi was going to remain strong. He had a plan to remain silent and keep his thoughts to himself. But no matter how much he vowed to do that, he was still a kid. A kid who was hurt and needed his parents.
“In the way of you guys and that Midoriya kid. I see how you guys look at him and hear how you guys talk about him. You’re seeing him as your own and I didn’t want to be in the way of that. I was angry and hurt that you guys wanted to replace me, but I also wasn’t going to be in the way of you guys spending time with him. I know I’m a lot. I know I have a lot of issues when it comes to my quirk and the quirks around me. I know I’m not the best kid and I know I can express how I feel more. I just didn’t want to ruin something where you guys have the perfect opportunity to get the kid you guys deserve. So I left. I love you guys, but I refuse to be the reason why you don’t have the perfect family.”
By the end of his speech, Hitoshi was once again in full blown tears, the ache in his heart pounding more than ever.
Both parents had tears in their eyes while they were trying to comprehend what exactly their son said.
And the moment it hit them, it was as if they both were shot in the heart.
“Oh baby no, oh no no no no,” Hizashi could only say, still too emotional and angry at himself for letting it get this far.
“Hitoshi,” his dad started once again, “I’m sorry we made you feel that way. That was never our attention to make you feel as if we were trying to replace you or look for another kid. You are absolutely perfect to us. It doesn’t matter if you can’t show your emotions like you hope you could or if you’re still not happy with your quirk. None of that matters to us. You’re our kid. You’re a part of our family. And our family is far from perfect. You papa works too much, I work too late. He is brighter than the goddamn sun and I’m grumpier than the devil himself. We are not perfect. But you, being in our family, makes us want to be perfect. We don’t need you to behave a certain way or act to how you think you should act. We just want you to be you. And by you doing that, that makes our family perfect. Because you’re ours Toshi. You’re our kid. And no matter what you do, in our eyes, you’ll always be our perfect son.”
Hitoshi wasn’t a crier, and if you asked him if he sobbed at those words he would say absolutely not, but his parents knew the truth. And the truth was that right after Shouta’s speech, they had their arms occupied with the body of their teenage son.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Hitoshi chanted.
“We don’t replace family Toshi,” he dad once again said, “And because we don’t replace family, we will never replace you. We talk about Midoriya a lot because he reminds us of you. He is smart and caring. And he says things but his eyes always have a different meaning. He cares about everyone and is protective of those he loves. However, he, just like you were, is not doing well mentally. I see it, your papa sees it, and even that blond number one idiot sees it. We’re around him because we want him to know that people care about him and that he has people to talk to if he needs. He will never ever replace you, just like you can’t replace him. You both are amazing kids with so much potential. We just wanted to make sure he knew he had someone who cared in his life, because we knew how much it affected you when you didn’t.”
To say Hitoshi felt a bit guilty would be understatement, he was drowning in guilt.
He always forgot to remember that he wasn’t the only one on the planet that was hurting in some way. But as much as he tried to berate himself, he couldn’t. He focused on his own pain because that was the only thing keeping him alive at one point. He never had time to care about what someone else was going through because he was still so messed up from his own issues he couldn’t.
It had never crossed his mind that the sunshine child from the famous class 1A could be hurting.
It never crossed his mind that he wasn’t the only one who was truly going through something.
Before he could get more into his inner turmoil, Hizashi’s voice broke out into the dead silent room.
“We could maybe try and not spend as much time with him if it were to make you feel better. Because as much as we care about that boy, you are our son. And you come before anyone else.”
The thought that his parents would not see someone they came to care about so much just for him brought a small smile onto his face.
Yes, he knew how irrational he was being. But he was still a child after all. A petty one, but still just a child.
“No,” Hitoshi spoke to his parents before they could add more to the topic. “No it’s okay. You don’t have to stop spending time with him. I forgot that I wasn’t the only one who has problems and I forget that sometimes. It’s okay. Really. He needs you and that’s okay. I know how much I needed someone and no one was ever there, so really, it’s okay.”
“Only if you’re sure” his dad responded back. Still hesitant to believe him after what transpired not even 2 hours ago.
“We don’t replace family,” Hitoshi smiled up at his dad, his signature smirk settling on his face.
His papa cried out and flung himself once again at Hitoshi while his dad snorted and said “Yeah kid, we don’t replace family,” before also moving in to hug him once again.
Hitoshi wouldn’t say he was still 100% okay with his parents hanging around the green haired child.
He would even go as far to say that he still had some underlying jealousy. However, jealousy or not, Hitoshi wanted to be a hero, and heroes don’t take away a support system all because of irrational fears.
So Hitoshi promised to sit back and watch. Watch the green haired child Izuku Midoriya and make his own proper opinions of the boy.
And as he sat back and watched, he realized that they were more similar than he could have ever imagined.
And as he finally came to that conclusion, he suddenly found himself not minding the time his fathers spent with Izuku Midoriya.
…………
Okay he still cared about 15% but progress was progress.
The first time Hitoshi mentally called Izuku Midoriya his brother, he spit out the water he was drinking and banged his head into the fridge.
His parents looked at him as if he were crazy and honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if he actually was.
The thought came so fast and left as quickly that he couldn’t even process proper human actions. He couldn’t even remember how to swallow or how not to walk straight into the refrigerator.
Before the thought came, his dad was talking to his papa about how his “problem child” decided it was a good idea to sneak a knife into the battle trials and run after Todoroki while trying to get him to come up with another conspiracy theory that didn’t involve All Might as his dad.
And as Hitoshi started to walk to the kitchen while drinking his water, the thought of “Yeah, my brother is a lunatic” crossed his mind, and that’s how he ended up with his face hurting and his shirt covered in water.
His parent’s probably were ready to call for professional help once Hitoshi started to laugh madly while simply rubbing his cheek and walking towards his room to change his shirt.
His parents thought he was laughing because he finally lost it.
However, only Hitoshi knew the truth.
And the truth was he mentally called Izuku Midoriya his brother, and realized a moment after he kissed the fridge, that he didn’t mind that title for the green haired child one bit.
Because he knew, no matter what, you don’t replace family.
Hitoshi had watched the shit show that occurred in the teacher’s lounge and couldn’t help but think what happened was his fault.
Rationally, he knew it wasn’t.
He knew he didn’t overstep any boundaries by calling his own father “dad” in the staff lounge.
He knew that he had every right to say that name since every faculty member at school knew he was the adopted son of Eraserhead and Present Mic.
But watching his brother's face fall when he called his father “dad” caused his stomach to drop and guilt to swarm him.
Hitoshi wouldn’t say he is a soft person.
If you asked him, he would say he liked only a couple things in his life. His dad, his papa, his cat, and now, his brother, who didn’t even know he thought of him like that yet.
He wasn’t a soft person, but no matter what he told himself, he still helped out with the All Might cookies his parents thought were a good idea to make.
And if he saw both parents look over at him with a knowing smirk when he crawled out of his room and pulled up his sleeves to help roll the dough, well, he just flipped them off and continued on with his tasks.
Because Izuku Midoriya was his brother, and he would help his parents with their plan of making the green haired child realize that.
Hitoshi Shinsou wasn’t a soft person, but for Izuku Midoriya, he would be.
The day Inko Midoriya came to his family’s house and gave his fathers Izuku's adoption paper, was the day Hitoshi realized how happy he was that he let go of his jealousy all those months ago.
He sat at the table and watched Inko Midoriya give away her own child because she knew how much her son needed Hitoshi’s parents in his life. She gave away her own child because she knew that they could give her son something she never could; A family.
Hitoshi sat and watched the disbelief on Izuku’s face, but also the sheer joy of realizing he wouldn’t have to leave on the nights he wanted to stay the most.
Hitoshi sat and watched the shock on his parents' faces, but also the admiration for the women in front of them to do something so selfless.
He stood and followed Izuku when he ran out of the apartment to give his mom one last final goodbye hug before he called Hitoshi’s home, his home too.
He stood and watched his dad and papa look at Izuku with nothing but love in their eyes while they both had one arm wrapped around Hitoshi’s shoulder.
He stood and watched how the green haired child finally got the one thing he desired most in the world. Just as much as Hitoshi desired the same thing years ago.
Hitoshi watched everything with a genuine smile resting on his face. And there was not one ounce of envy, anger, or jealousy.
The only emotion he felt was happiness. Pure utter happiness.
And watching the green haired child named Izuku Midoriya run back to not only his parents, but also him as well, he realized after all this time, that Izuku finally had a family to call his own.
And it was okay with Hitoshi that it was his dad and papa that Izuku saw as his own parents too.
Because he knew, no matter what, you don’t replace family.