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1. MSN
The hallways were dark when Kylian rushed through them. Of course he had to spill his entire lunch over his shirt right before the presentation of their new players.
Normally he wasn't that excited about this, but this year was different. This year they will be joined by Lionel Messi.
The Lionel Messi. While he had been a Cristiano Ronaldo fan all his life, he did have to say that he was excited for the opportunity to play with Messi.
Neymar had told him a lot about the other striker, Ney tended to talk a lot about Lionel whenever he could, to whoever would listen.
Kylian suspected it was because Neymar and Lionel were dating. There could be no other reason why someone would want to talk this much about another person. (and the way Ney blushed, whenever someone mentioned the Argentine)
But Kylian had other problems than his best friend's boyfriend right now. He needed to find the nearest laundry room and change out of his ruined shirt.
As he rounded the next corner he could see a small light coming from under a door, and a soft voice laughed about something. Kylian skidded to a stop in front of the door and sneaked closer to find out who was hiding this deep inside the maze of the stadium.
The voice laughed again - a soft, but joyful and melodic sound - before the person spoke:
"Luis, cariño, vamos a tener que esperar a las vacaciones de Navidad para intentarlo de nuevo."
Kylian froze. That soft accented Spanish could only belong to one person - Lionel Messi. And he was probably on the phone to Luis Suarez, if Kylians meager knowledge of Spanish was anything to go by. Before he could decide if he wanted to find out more Lionel continued. "Juro que todavía tengo una marca de mordida en mi trasero de la última vez."
Kylian almost choked on his spit. Lionel still had a what?! where?!
How did one even get a fucking BITE MARK ON YOUR ASS?
There was a pause, Suarez was probably saying something, before Lionel spoke again.
"¿Tienes alguna idea de lo difícil que será esconderse de Ney? Va a estar súper enojado cuando lo vea."
Kylians jaw hit the floor. If Lionel had to hide this from Ney… was he cheating on Ney with… Suarez?! What the hell?!
The Argentine seemed unbothered by the fact that was currently sending the French into a small existential crisis. Kylian had never taken Lionel as the cheating type. And Ney seemed to adore him pretty much.
"Sí, lo sé, todavía se pondrá celoso. Y seré yo quien termine con dolor en el trasero por eso otra vez."
With every word his brain was able to translate from the fast paced Spanish, Kylian grew more and more confused. He stood in the dark hallway pondering over the fact that this did not seem to be the first time this had happened.
"Tengo que irme. Te extraño y te amo. Adiós".
Inside of the room Lionel shuffled around and Kylian quickly tiptoed away, not wanting to get caught eavesdropping.
His brain was still reeling over the fact that Lionel seemed to date… or at least sleep with both sides of the MSN trio.
2. Leandro Paredes
Lionel - "Call me, Leo, please" - Messi was a mystery for Kylian.
He was hard-working, always the first to arrive at training, most times the last to leave.
He was quiet, be it because he was shy, or simply because he didn't speak French.
He was gentle, especially around the younger players, who star-struck swarmed around him, at games or in training.
And he was also funny. At least it looked like that if you watched him when he interacted with Neymar. The Brazilian kept laughing, whenever Leo said something, leaning into the smaller man.
By now Kylian had found out that Leo and Neymar were actually dating.
But now he was hearing something that made him question the whole thing once again. They had won the last game, Kylian and Leo clicking well on the field, both scoring and assisting each other.
Kylian had taken his time to get into the shower, taking care of the post-match interviews as Man-of-the-Match.
Most of the team has already left, Neymar looking like he was falling asleep on his seat in front of his locker.
Inside the showers he couldn't see anyone, so he stripped out of his sweaty jersey and jumped under the hot shower. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the relaxing water.
Until a moan and a giggle interrupted the silence.
The hell?
There was a deep mumble, followed by another moan and the same soft and melodic laugh he had heard the first night Leo had arrived.
Was Leo getting himself off? Some sort of way to get down from the winning high?
Suddenly there was a second moan, followed by a splash and a strangled mewl.
Slowly Kylian turned off his own shower and suddenly the noises of two people having passionate sex filled the whole shower. One of them obviously being Leo.
And the other definitely not being Leo's boyfriend, because Ney was sleeping outside.
What the fuck?!
"Nghh, por favor, tan bien, tan bien, por favor. "
"Mi capitán, lo hiciste tan bien hoy. Su primer gol para nosotros. Tan perfecto."
Leandro Paredes?! Who else would call Leo captain here in Paris. (Di Maria, but Kylian had bumped into him as he was on his way out.)
He hadn't expected Leo get fucked by his Argentine teammates. Apart from maybe Agüero.
The moans and whines got louder and Kylian seriously contemplated if he should just sneak out of the showers, before he found out how both Leo and Leandro sounded when they came.
It was like they didn't care who could hear them, they were both so loud. Kylian felt himself getting turned on. He hadn't expected that. Leo let out a high pitched mewl and Kylian had to bite his own hand to not answer it with a moan of his own. He hadn't known that Leo Messi would sound so erotic.
"Sí, Lio, mi capitán, Sí."
Kylian took a very deep breath, grabbed a towel and as quickly and as quietly as he could, he sneaked out of the shower room. The locker room was completely empty and Kylians head was spinning as he quickly dressed again.
How had Ney been sitting out here so calmly, while his boyfriend was getting it on in the next room?
Did he not know? Did he know and just didn't care?
Kylian didn't know and it wouldn't leave his head for a long time.
3. Pep Guardiola
Kylian was getting nervous. It wasn’t like Leo to be this late. Especially not for a game as important as this Champions League game. They would play against Manchester City and one of their important strikers was missing. Neymar was jumping up and down behind him, making Kylian even more agitated, while the rest of the team had fallen into a reverent silence.
He turned to Neymar:
“Do you think someone should search for Leo? It’s not like him to vanish before a game like this.”
Neymar just shrugged, before he continued to jump around.
“Shouldn’t you be more worried about your boyfriend?”
Neymar huffed a bit annoyed.
“Nah, not when we’re playing against City. I’m not worried about Leo, because I know where Leo is. Believe me, he’ll be back in time.”
“If you say so…”
Kylian planned to go and find the Argentine anyways, who knew, maybe he wanted to dip and flee from the game and just hadn’t told his boyfriend.
He briefly considered asking Paredes as well, but then he would probably have to admit that he had heard Leo and him in the showers a few weeks earlier. And Kylian definitely wasn’t ready for that.
He checked his watch - twenty minutes until they had to line up in the tunnel. That should be enough time. He jumped up and stalked out of the room. His face must have shown his displeasure, because nobody tried to stop him.
Ten minutes later Kylian still hadn’t found Leo. And he had gotten horribly lost in the depths of the Etihad Stadium. Seriously, why did this stadium have to be built like a maze?
He cursed and seethed under his breath, while he contemplated giving up on finding Leo and just trying to find his way back to the tunnel. Should Leo see where it would get him, when he missed kick-off.
He rounded the next corner in a hurry… and almost collided with two people.
Shocked, he stopped and stared, while Pep Guardiola and Leo Messi jumped about five feet apart, startled by his sudden arrival.
“Uhhh…” Kylian tried to find his words, but they seemed to be stuck in his throat. Desperately he cleared his throat and croacked out something that could have sounded like “There you are, Leo.”
Leo was still staring, but the coach of Manchester City was quicker to recover. He narrowed his eyes and actually growled.
“This is the home side of City, what do you think you’re doing here, you’re not allowed to be here?”
Okay, that was too much. Kylian would not let himself be pushed around by that crazy bald man.
“I was only searching for Leo here. Who by the way is also on my team, so he should not belong here too.”
Leo flinched a bit and moved closer to Guardiola again, who wrapped a protective arm around him and whispered something into the smaller ear. Leo basically melted into the hug and quickly leaned up to press a quick kiss on Guardiola's cheek.
Kylian skeptically lifted one eyebrow. It was weird to see how close Leo seemed to be with their rival coach.
Both of them seemed to have forgotten Kylian was even there. Guardiola leaned back down to press a kiss of his own to Leo's hair, before pulling him even closer.
They seemed so familiar with each other, that Kylian wondered if they were also secretly dating. Kylian couldn't understand how Ney could be okay with all of this.
And he had to know if Kylian remembered correctly. I'm not worried, I know where Leo is. Yeah, right, he's running around kissing the rival's coach in dark hallways.
The thought of Neymar let Kylian clear his throat and say:
"We really should leave, before we're late for the game."
The two love birds parted ways, with another kiss, before Guardiola chuckled and together they made their way back to the pitch.
4. Kun Agüero
"This is ridiculous!" Kylian groaned and threw the PS5 controller next to him onto the couch. He had lost the third game this evening. It was not that he was bad at FIFA, but Neymar was ridiculously good at the game. Ney threw his head back and laughed.
"Nah, you're just bad at this. And a sore loser."
Kylian tried hard not to be offended.
"I'm not a loser."
"Oh, but you are." Ney was still laughing. "You're always pouting when you lose. Here or on the real pitch. Reminds me of Leo actually. He's also always pouting if he can't do something perfect."
Despite himself, Kylian chuckled too. Leo really was the most competitive person he had ever met.
"Of course, one can only beat him in FIFA if you make him play with Real Madrid. Or you have to be Kun."
"Kun?"
"Agüero. He's the only one who I have seen winning against Leo in this damn game. I swear they're both cheating."
Kylian leaned back, thinking. Almost every conversation about Leo somehow ended up with a mention of Kun. The two seemed joined at the hips, whenever they were together.
"Speaking of Leo, where is your boyfriend?" Kylian hadn't seen the Argentine since he arrived, and usually he never missed a chance to humiliate them on the controller, or tried to make them drink his weird maté.
Neymar laughed again.
"Oh, Leo's on a date."
What?
"A what?" Kylian stared at him unbelieving. How could Neymar sit there so relaxed, while his boyfriend was out on a date with somebody else?
"A date. It's when two people who like each other go out and do something fun."
"Yeah I know what a date is, dumbass. But I meant with whom is Leo on a date, while you are here?"
"Oh. Well his husband is in town…"
Kylian was glad he wasn't drinking anything, lest he would have choked.
"HIS WHAT?! " Lionel Messi has a husband?! But… WHAT?!
And Neymar next to him had the audacity to start laughing again, in fact he laughed so hard that he tumbled off the couch, clutching his stomach.
"You- hahaha - you should have seen your face - hahhahha "
Kylian was not so amused.
"Good that you have fun, Ney. But what the fuck did you mean by husband?! I didn't know that Leo is married… while you are dating him?!"
But Ney didn't seem to want to answer him any time soon. Instead he continued to laugh and make fun of him:
"Come on Kyky, if you think hard enough, you can guess who it is."
Thank you for absolutely nothing, Neymar.
But before Kylian could start to guess there was a key sounding at the door, followed by Leo laughing and a few seconds later Leo stumbled into the room, followed by…
… Sergio "Kun" Agüero.
They didn't even notice Kylian and Ney sitting on the couch, as they laughed and giggled over something, Agüero jumping onto Leo's back before swooning dramatically:
"Mi rey, un honor que se te permita entrar en tu humilde palacio. Aquí déjame besar tus zapatos, mi capitán."
He kept a straight face for about three seconds, before both of them dissolved into high pitched giggles again.
Kylian was flabbergasted, he had never seen Leo act so carefree. So… happy?
Wide eyed he turned back to Neymar, but he didn't seem to be surprised by their behavior.
'What?' Ney mouthed, before grabbing his controller again, starting a new game.
But Kylian couldn't stay this calm, slowly he got up, before he raised his voice a bit.
"Oh hey guys." Leo and Agüero stopped laughing and looked over to him. Leo flushed a bright red and seemed to want to hide behind Agüero. On his ring finger Kylian could see a ring glittering. A matching one on the other Argentine's.
Shit, they really were married.
Suddenly nervous he reached out to Agüero, introducing himself:
"I'm Kylian, one of Leo's teammates."
"Oh nice to meet you, you can call me Kun, I'm Leo's wife…" Leo elbowed him in the side. "Okay mi princesa, his husband. But if you excuse us now, we have a date to finish."
With these words he pulled Leo up the stairs leaving Kylian standing in the foyer, more confused than ever before.
5. Lionel Scaloni & La Scaloneta
He really didn't know how he ended up in one of the dark hallways of yet another stadium. But here he was again.
This time in Lusail, Qatar, where he would play his second world cup final in just an hour's time. Without noticing he had ventured into the Argentine side of the catacombs.
He didn't know if he should be worried about the game. The French had done an incredible run to reach this final again. But so had Argentina.
He knew that most of the world would root for the Albiceleste and their tiny captain. It would be Leo's last world cup game and from playing with Leo for almost one and a half years he knew how bad he wanted to win this tournament.
He had started as diehard CR7 Fan, but over time Leo had grown on him. Even though Leo seemed to have at least 4 different boyfriends at the same time, while also being married to Sergio Agüero. Something that confused Kylian very much, but he hadn't dared to ask his teammate about it.
And now he was stranded in the Argentine side of the stadium. There were Argentine flags everywhere. And suddenly he could spot Leo, leaning against the wall, eyes closed, while he was listening to his coach talking to him in very hurried Spanish, Kylian couldn't understand.
Which was probably for the best, if he didn't want to be accused of spying on their opponents right now. He hid behind a corner, but couldn't stop watching, as Scaloni finished talking and went to wrap Leo up into the biggest and tightest hug Kylian had ever seen.
And then he… yes … Lionel Scaloni leaned forward and kissed Leo square onto the lips. And it was not a chaste kiss, no they started to full on make out.
In an intensity that made Kylian want to blush and look away, but somehow he couldn't. He didn't even know why it affected him this much…
Hell he had heard Leo and Paredes have sex in the next shower stall, but this kiss right there was somehow three times more pornopraphic.
Suddenly there was a hooting coming from the other side of the hallway and Kylian flinched away and hid more behind the corner.
The whole rest of the Argentine team piled out of their dressing room.
"Leo! ¡Coche! ¡Ese eres tú!"
They all piled on top of both Lionel's, laughing and joking. De Paul and Paredes cheered the loudest, before they all lifted the both of them up.
"Hagamos que los dos se calmen, Antes de que ustedes dos empiecen a joder aquí."
The last words he heard, before the door closed behind them, we're Di Maria's:
"Estás celoso, Dibu, de que no fuiste tú."
The door snapped shut, leaving Kylian to wonder if Leo was somehow fucking his whole team. And he kept wondering for the whole first half, as Leo got once again buried under his whole team, after he scored for Argentina.
+1. Kylian Mbappé
It took until Leo scored that one spectacular free kick, leading their team to a last minute win, for Kylina to understand that Leo was simply irreststable. Kylian couldn't stop himself from lifting the tiny Argentine up. Once, twice and a third time.
He buried his face into Leo's neck, inhaling the captivating scent, only stopping himself from placing a quick kiss to Leo's neck, because Marco pushed him away.
He was sad that Leo would probably leave Paris by the end of the season, due to multiple problems Kylian didn't want to think about right now.
Right now, he just wanted to kiss Lionel Messi. To show him that not everyone in Paris hated him. That not everyone in Paris wanted him gone.
Over the course of the last two years, he had fallen in love. He had fallen hard, and fast. And while up until the World Cup final he had been confused how Leo could have that many boyfriends. But now he got it.
Leo was simply the loveliest and the most lovable person to ever exist.
That he was also the best footballer ever was just the icing on top.