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Marqui 🇧🇷🔥 : What has taken over you ? I thought you two were good ?
As he saw the message from his captain, Neymar sighed in annoyance. As if the media and the fans weren’t enough, now his teammates needed to get involved. He of course knew his actions had consequences. But in the turmoil of anger and desperation, the simple action of tapping his screen couldn't have felt more therapeutic. In fact, he hadn't been feeling this well in a while. He remembered the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness when the supporters of the club were screaming at him, insulting and yelling at him to leave the city.
Paris. This city that he hoped for so long would become his home. He used to truly believe this would turn true, and maybe it wasn't so far from it. But now, the city of light seemed dull, and judging. Maybe this truly wasn't where he should be. Then why did it feel so weird to even consider starting over, flying to a new club, a new city ? Maybe it was the fact that he continuously tried, for 6 years, to get used to the city and its changing mood. Maybe it was that feeling of unfulfillment, of repeatedly failing to bring the Champions League to this club. Or maybe it was just the longing for those deep brown eyes to look at him with the same affection and brightness they used too.
Kylian. Right now, the news of the posts that he liked were all over the internet, he doubted that it didn't already reach him. He tried picturing the way he must have reacted. The way he felt. Did he feel the same way Neymar did when he suddenly saw the news about the Frenchman trying to sell him ? Well he surely hoped so. Nothing had hurt him more in his life, than the betrayal of his now former best friend. He knew that tomorrow he had to come to the club, and that he had to meet the boy there. He could already imagine his anger filled eyes, and the way his voice would elevate, asking, demanding for answers.
Answers ? He wasn't even sure to have them himself. In the moment, liking the post simply seemed like the best way to feel better about himself. So he didn’t even question it, and simply acted out of pure impulse.
Actually, he would understand the questioning glare of the boy, and maybe even of his teammates, as they had barely started to get better, to talk again. They did seem to be going somewhere with their relationship, maybe for the best. But now it was too late to think about that. He did it, and he was ready to face the consequences. It's not as if the constant crashing of their egos hadn't been part of his daily routine for the past few months. Maybe he would even apologize, and get done with it as always, ignoring the stinging of his heart.
He looked again at the message of Marquinhos, hesitating to answer him, or to just ignore the message to talk to him tomorrow, before jumping, startled by the loud ringing of his doorbell resonating through the immensity of his house.
Resiliently, he got up walking as fast as his ankle permitted him to the door. And he definitely didn't expect to see Leo right behind it.
"Leo ?"
"Ney. I thought you might want some company ?" The Argentinian said with a tight smile. He almost seemed anxious, and the Brazilian let him enter his house with a questioning glance.
"It is not that I don't appreciate your company, but I doubt that you came here for no reason. You seem like you have something to say." He replied as he accompanied the smaller man to his living room, throwing himself lazily on the large sofa.
"I was just a bit worried. With what happened yesterday. The supporters seemed angry. You must have been scared."
"This wasn't the most pleasant moment of my life, I won't lie, but it's not like I'm not used to them hating me or telling me to leave."
His friend looked at him dubiously, before replying.
"This doesn't justify in any way what happened." And as he saw that the other didn't wish to go into further detail, continued. "How is your ankle ? We wouldn't want the stress to affect its healing"
"I'm telling you I'm alright. My ankle is slowly getting better, and I see the physiotherapist almost everyday." He cringed at memory of the smug men, and his annoying voice, that he had seen a bit to often to his liking in the past weeks. "There's nothing to worry about."
"I see..." Replied the other, fixing his gaze on the carpet. Neymar watched as he bit his lips, torturing them unconsciously. He watched as he saw the other man open his mouth, before closing it again with a frown. He seemed to be questioning himself about whether he should talk or not, so Neymar beat him to it.
"I guess you're here to ask me about Kylian."
The other finally stopped looking at the ground to watch his face closely , studying its every detail, waiting for any reaction. Neymar hated it when he did that. The man had the impressive talent of guessing his feelings easily, and reading him like a book. So he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible, to avoid letting any of his emotions out. Finally, the Argentinian sighed, before talking again.
"I don't understand Ney. I know you were upset, anyone would be, but why Kylian ? You were just starting to talk normally again ?"
"What now, are you going to defend him ? You know what he did to me. It's not like this situation was not a consequence of his little dictatorship." He knew his answer sounded defensive, but he couldn't help himself. If even Leo couldn’t understand him, who could ? Lately, it seemed as if almost all his teammates were siding with the Frenchman.
"Ney. I'll always support you and you know that. But we don't even know if what he did was true. You know the media, they live to divide us." And it was true. Nothing was ever confirmed about the supposedly new contract of the french star, that allowed him more than a few rights and powers in the club. Actually, Kylian had denied it himself a few times, even showing his annoyance at the way Neymar seemed to believe these so-called rumors.
"Can you really blame me ? Everything seems to show the club's preference to him. It started with the penalty, and now they are doing anything to make him stay in the club. Don't tell me you don't think it's a possibility either."
"I guess I would be lying if I said that I didn't. However, I have also come to discover Kylian myself, and actually got closer to him. And I don't think that he would ever do that to one of his teammates... Especially you, Ney. He seemed invested in growing back a friendship with you." Hearing that, the Brazilian groaned in annoyance.
"Of course he would make you think that Leo ! I used to think that too. Once you will realize how much of a manipulator he is, you will understand that this was all just a facade."
"Maybe you're right." He lowered his gaze once again, and Neymar thought that he seemed almost pained to admit it. "But I don't personally believe it. But in the end, I don't think my own opinion matters that much. You're the only one who can decide what you want with him."
"Right."
"Right." the Argentinian repeated. A second of silence passed before he stood up again. "Is there anything I can do to help ? Did you eat already"
The Brazilian face softened. No matter what happens, he knew he would always have his friend on his side. He wasn't exactly the most talkative, but he always showed his affection in simple actions and words. "No, it's alright. But thank you for everything Leo. I'm lucky to have you.”
"It's nothing. I'm just a bit worried about you. Anyway, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow."
Neymar replied positively, and watched as once again his friend seemed to be hesitating to say something, before finally talking.
"I got a message from Ramos just before."
"Ramos ? Who would have thought that you two would ever get to this point ?" The Brazilian smirked, thinking of all the times the Spanish defender almost destroyed his friend's ankles. The other laughed a bit at that, before retrieving his calm.
"He... Told me about Kylian." At that, the Brazilian freezed.
"And what did he tell you exactly ?" He asked, annoyance tainting his voice.
"That... He was hurt. Deeply hurt. And that he had rarely seen him in this state. Achraf seemed angry too." He felt his heart tightening at the mention of that. He knew that this would affect the Frenchman. After all, even if he kept hiding his emotions, the boy was still human, and Neymar used to be the one to support him in his worse states. But hearing it felt a lot more unbearable suddenly. He ignored it, however, and replied with a semblance of irritation.
"Of course Achraf has to be angry with me. I hurt his amazing and perfect best friend." And he tried to ignore the blatant jealousy that he felt, frowning at the idea of seeing him again tomorrow. Neymar didn’t hate Achraf, far from it. He actually liked him and appreciated talking and playing with him. But he couldn’t deny that his arrival played a huge part in their parting. He couldn't help but imagine himself at the Moroccan boy's place, comforting and reassuring Kylian. But it was not his place anymore, and even worse, he was the one who caused the hurt of the boy. How could he even imagine himself at this place anymore ? That's not like he wanted it anyway. Or deserved it.
"Don't talk that way about Ashraf," Leo sighed. "He is just supporting his friend, you can't blame him for that."
"Yeah. I can't blame him for that."
Finally going to the door, the Argentinian stopped one last time before resuming talking.
"You know Ney, I don't think it's ever too late. I can see the way you two both want your friendship back. Maybe... If you two talk together, you can make it work ? Actually I'm convinced of it. It's never too late, Ney. Just... Put both of your egos aside, and talk. Like adults." Without letting him answer, the older man went through the door. "Goodnight, Ney." And left him on his couch, thinking of what his friend just said.
Could they ever go back to what they had ? He doubted it. This would always be different. It's not like they hadn't tried to talk before that. And if every time the said "talk" ended in yells and insults, it wasn't his fault. Maybe he could have tried harder to keep his calm, act more mature. But how could he not answer the younger man's provocations when he was the one that took everything from him ? Maybe it wasn't worth trying. After all, tomorrow will be the same as always. The boy would come to him, and angrily ask for answers. Then the Brazilian would probably respond with something sarcastic and add fuel to the fire, to the point that their teammates would have to intervene. Just like every other time. He was used to it.
But as he laid down holding tightly a pillow in his arms, he couldn't stop thinking. Of the smiles, of the touches, of the hugs, of the kisses. How much he longed for them. And as he closed his eyes, before he could even feel them tearing up, he thought, maybe this was worth fighting for.