Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The apartment is surprisingly quiet at 8 PM on a Friday night.

Sayaka's feet kick back and forth as she slouches forward on the couch, her young legs still too short to touch the ground. She's trying to watch TV.

Keyword : trying.

What feels like once every few minutes - actually once every few seconds - she casts a nervous glance towards the front door. Moments later, her gaze shifts to the apartment's home phone. A familiar knot of anxiety tightens in Sayaka's chest. She barely hears the TV over her own thoughts as she looks away.

'He promised he'd be here tonight. Daddy promised he'd be here tonight,' Sayaka said in her head.

It's a thought that had been bouncing around her head all day. At first, it filled her with hope. Feeling alone at school would be worth it if she got to see her dad tonight. In person.

Then, it had become a source of excitement. He was going to be here tonight! He said that he would cook dinner! It had been so long since the last time she had her father's cooking - instant ramen and Cup Noodles could never compare to daddy's home cooked meals!

Then, as the sun had began to set with no sign of her father, it had slowly melted into a source of anxiety. Daddy had said that he'd be here tonight, he promised her. She knows he works hard, but he promised he'd be here tonight.

Now it was half-passed eight. Her bed time was at nine. She usually would have made a Cup Noodle for herself by 7. Instead, she waited for Dad to come walking through the door. Even take-out would be fine! Even just a half hour with her Daddy would be enough.

Even just twenty minutes with her Daddy would be enough.

Even just ten minutes with her Daddy would be enough.

...

At 9:04 exactly, Sayaka heard the telephone ring. She felt her heart fall into a dark, cold pit. She knows what happens.

She slowly walks over and picks up the phone, putting it to her ear.

"Hi Daddy..." she says in a small, quiet voice.

What always happens.

"Hey pumpkin! Listen, something came up at work, so Daddy's gonna have to stay late again tonight, okay? I probably won't be home until after midnight. Daddy's really sorry!"

Sayaka feels a lump forming in her throat, but uses every ounce of her nine year old self control to keep her voice steady.

"It's okay Daddy," Sayaka says softly.

"You remember where the Cup Noodles are, right?"

Sayaka sighs away from the mouthpiece before responding.

"Yes Daddy."

"Great! I'll see you in the morning before I go to work tomorrow, okay? I love you sweetie."

"Love you t-"

click

"-oo, Dad."

...

Sayaka feels a deep chasm open up inside of her. She delicately places the phone back onto its space on the wall with a soft 'click' .

...

After standing there, devoid of all hope and energy, Sayaka slowly turns around and sits herself back in front of the TV. She curls up, knees against her chest as she sits and watches the TV with an empty gaze.

Sayaka stays curled up on the couch when she hears music begin playing from her television. Gradually, her focus returns to the world around her, and her gaze fixates on the screen in front of her.

A pop idol group stands, their backs turned away from the audience. As smoke and lighting fills the screen, the music kicks up, and Sayaka feels her heartbeat kick up with the music.

As the intro to the song comes to an end Sayaka feels her emptiness and loneliness begin to thaw. Sayaka starts to feel okay, starts to feel a small spark of hope reignite in her heart!

And then, the idol in center stage turns aroun- !

Black.

The power cuts out. Right before she got to see the face of the idol capturing her heart, the power cuts out.

...

For a moment, Sayaka just sits there, unable to process her misfortune. She still feels her heart beating in her chest, her hands shaking at her sides as the darkness of her small home consumes her. The illusion of companionship shatters, the joy of music breaks.

And Sayaka, sweet, little Sayaka... breaks with it.

Sayaka feels that lump in her throat return. Her lip twitches uncontrollably as she starts breathing heavier and heavier. A whirlwind cyclone of loneliness, frustration, and despair overtake her as she slides off the couch and onto the floor.

With a high pitched whine - the ghost of a scream she can't allow herself at this time of night - Sayaka cries.

She cries for the fact that she has no friends at school.

She cries for the fact that her mother abandoned her.

She cries for the fact that her father is never home.

She cries for the fact that the things she loves are always stolen from her.

She sheds one tear for each empty, broken promise her dad had given her.

She bawls, a trembling ball of emotions, sobbing on the floor. It's just all too much for her nine year old heart to take.

...

...

...

Sayaka doesn't know how long she lays there, staining the carpet with her tears. She knows that at some point, the power comes back on, but she just can't find it in herself to care any more.

Slowly, she picks herself up off the floor. Her arms and legs feel weak from the emotional debris still weighing her down, but one glance at the clock is all she needs to push her up to her feet.

10:23. Way past her bedtime.

Sayaka's stomach growls, but she doesn't feel hungry. She couldn't eat if she tried. Right now, in that moment, Sayaka just wants to go to sleep.

'I promised Daddy that I'd always be in bed by nine.'

...

Suddenly, Sayaka stops.

...

She turns her attention to the TV, still off and filling the room with silence she barely hears. Her head is abuzz with an entirely different emotion from before.

Frustration.

Why should she have to keep her promises to her Dad? When has he ever been here to stop her staying up late? When has he ever cared enough to make sure she's in bed on time? To make sure she's eating right? Make sure she isn't lonely? Make sure she's okay?

He's promised so much. And never, ever, not once, has he ever followed through.

Sayaka's not okay, but a previously unknown resentment fuels her return to the couch. She wasn't going to keep her promises to her father anymore. She's done trying to glue the broken pieces of her father's promises back together.

This was the moment Sayaka lost faith in grown ups. She'll always love her father dearly, of course, but... she can't lie to herself anymore.

Daddy already lies to her enough as it is.

With remote in hand, butt planted firmly on the couch in defiance of her Dad's rules, she turns the TV back on and flicks through channels. The TV is a strange world at half-passed ten.

Eventually, something catches her eye.

Something animated.

She sees a boy with long, white hair, a giant sword, and red robes. She sees a priest with a hole in his hand. She sees a warrior girl with a giant boomerang. She sees a prankster kitsune. She sees a world of magic, of demons and half demons.

She sees a school girl, and a well.

At first, Sayaka isn't sure what to make of all this. But as the episode progresses, she is transfixed. The action makes her heart pound, and she loves the way the characters interact with each other - not to mention, the art is gorgeous!

None of that is why she's drawn in, though. No, what draws her isn't the action, or the writing, or even the art.

What draws her in is a feeling. As she watches these characters, she gets to know them. She learns their names, their personalities, what they like and don't like.

And as she gets to know them, they become... more than just characters. They become people. And then, they become... friends.

And suddenly, for the first time in Sayaka's life, she doesn't feel so alone.

She doesn't need to be the lonely little girl stuck in her apartment. She doesn't need to feel lonely, or hopeless, or angry. The emptiness fades away, even as her frustration lingers in the back of her mind.

She knows that the half-demon boy with the white hair understands how she feels. And knowing that she isn't alone, that she has friends that understand her just beyond the TV screen?

Sayaka's never fallen in love before, but she knows she loves this show. She knows she's in love with this show.

As the end credits roll on a second episode, clarity returns to Sayaka, and she checks the time.

11:30.

Sayaka turns the TV off, and heads to her room. Resentment or no, she doesn't actually want to get in trouble with her Dad tonight.

She slowly crawls under the covers, and slips into bed.

It had been a roller coaster of a night for Sayaka, but she falls asleep with a smile on her lips, and a long-haired half-demon in her heart.

She never hears the front door open. She never hears her father sneak into her room and plant a kiss on her forehead. She never sees the guilty look on his face as he brushes his teeth before bed - another promise Sayaka chose not to keep that night.

Instead, Sayaka dreams. She dreams of the places she saw in the anime that had captured her heart. She dreams of adventures with a red robed, white haired boy. She dreams of something she's never had before.

She dreams of a friend.

And the next morning, Sayaka wakes up. She doesn't want to go see her dad this morning. The dream is still fresh in her eyes as she grabs pencils and paper.

If she forgot her dream, forgot what it was like to have friends, she would never forgive herself.

She writes what she saw. She can't spell, and her grammar isn't great, but she can draw to fill in the blanks where she needs to.

She writes and writes and writes. She writes right through the morning, writes through the breakfast her father reminds her of as he leaves for work.

(The food is great, as usual. If only he'd made it twelve hours ago.)

'If only my Dad wasn't a liar.'

Eventually, a little bit after two, her writing is complete. Her dream is documented. And she reads it back, over and over and over again.

And as she's reading, she realizes that the emptiness is gone. Maybe she's still lonely, maybe she's still angry, but her heart is full. She doesn't need to despair anymore.

She has... hope.

And that moment of realization was the moment where Sayaka Maizono became someone else. Sayaka Maizono was no longer just another lonely little girl, wasting away in a tiny apartment.

This moment was special.

Because this was the moment the Ultimate Fanfic Creator... was born.

Chapter Text

Blackroot Junior High - a swirling vortex hellmouth trapped within an abyssal plain of terror and mayhem.

"Woops! So clumsy!"

*SMACK*

At least, that's how Sayaka tends to think about it.

Her binder and textbook are sent hurtling out of her hands and onto the floor tiles faster than she can react. The sound of laughter drifts away, punctuated by two loud thunks as whomever had decided to briefly antagonize her is swallowed back into a sea of apathetic faces.

Sayaka briefly closes her eyes and sighs, fists clenching at her sides.

As she crouches down, the feeling of people brushing past her - some with deliberate force - is a familiar one. She keeps her eyes on the legs of people around her, having had her hands stepped on more than a few times in the past.

(It's not fun.)

As Sayaka retrieves her belongings, her face is calm. Unperturbed.

'Another wonderful start to a wonderful school year!' she thinks.

She carefully guards the contents of her binder as she resumes her walk to second period. The only thing giving away her mood is the death-grip she has on her belongings.

No one can hear her silently wishing Death 4 upon her enemies. The passive expression on her face is iron-clad.

As Sayaka quietly slips into her English Language class - two minutes early, as per usual - no one but her is aware of the relief she feels as she sits at her desk. No stares, no comments, no fuss: the benefits of showing up early to class.

Sayaka gently kicks her legs back and forth, vacantly staring out the window beside her desk. Students trickle in as seconds tick by, boxing her into her spot by the window.

Even as the chatter of restless adolescents begins to fill the room, Sayaka's mind is elsewhere. She keeps her eyes fixed on the small pond outside, and her thoughts wander to exactly how she wants to approach her next project.

'An elderly Natsume looks wistfully at the pond, all alone on one half of the page. The lower half would be a watery reflection of him, but with all the friends he can no longer see...'

Sayaka slides a pencil out from her breast pocket, and taps the eraser against her chin.

'And then the page next to it would have the situation flipped?'

A frown.

'But... then I'd probably have to add a ton of non-canonical yokai. Would people still get that feeling of nostalgic melancholy from characters they don't know?'

She bites the bottom of her lip

'Actually, now that I think about it... maybe it should all be one two-page spread. Something near a lake, instead of a pond...'

The reflection of Sayaka's eyes in the window sparkle with creative energy.

Not that she notices, of course.

'It would have to be semi-symmetrical. Natsume stands alone, staring wistfully into the lake's waters with the Book of Friends at his side. The bottom half of the page would be a watery reflection of the top half, an elderly Natsume surrounded by all the yokai that he can no longer see in his old age - friends, just beyond the edge of perception.'

"... aizono..."

'Then, Nyanko-sensei would be waiting on the next page. Natsume and Nyanko-sensei both know that their story is finally coming to an end. And so they have one, final, heartfelt discussion.'

"...ayaka Maizono?"

'... and in the end, the Book of Friends closes on its final chapter, as Natsume slowly walks home to his family. His final years are spent at peace, grandchildren grown up - a few short years of domestic bliss with his wife before he meets with the grandmother that set all this in motion in the first place.'

She doesn't register the sound of an inhale.

'Though in the end, Natsume's family will always carry on the spirit of Reiko - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, after all, and his grandchildren will find themselves with one strange ca-'

"Ms. Sayaka Maizono, would you like to announce your presence to the class, or shall I mark you absent?"

Sayaka jumps in her seat with a squeak, startled out of her daydreaming. Her face flushes as she hears stifled laughter from among the many students around her. She feels thirty-one pairs of eyes drilling a hole into the side of her skull.

Even so, her mask doesn't crack for a second.

"Uh... present, sir," Sayaka says, face impassive, and half-hidden by hair.

...

A moment ticks by as the whispering begins, louder than a crashing train in the silent room.

The teacher - an older man in his late thirties - heaves a tired sigh as he makes a tick mark on the attendence sheet on his clipboard.

"Please try to pay attention this year, Ms. Maizono," he says with a shake of his head, "I hope this little moment isn't indicative of the school year to come."

Sayaka swallows, expressionless.

"It isn't, sir," she says quietly.

The teacher doesn't even acknowledge her reply as he turns around and begins his lesson.

...

...

Sayaka shakes her head as she leaves the never ending math hell known as third period.

'I'm not going to let her get to me this year. She does it for the reaction - everyone always wants a reaction.'

As she dodges students and strangers, Sayaka wonders whether the worst part was the math or the other students.

A whole year at this school, and she still hasn't figured it out.

Sayaka opens th-

"Wha- !"

Sayaka stumbles as two people shove past her from behind. Neither of them even look at her as she narrowly avoids falling over, continuing into the school cafeteria with no regard for her whatsoever.

Sayaka glares at them bitterly, and narrows her eyes.

'The students. The students are definitely the worst part.'

With no outlet for her simmering frustration, Sayaka takes a deep breath and forces her expression to return to neutrality. She refuses to give anyone the show that she knows they want.

Instead, Sayaka straightens herself out and works her way deeper into the cafeteria.

The cafeteria feels cavernous compared to the relatively narrow hallways that feed into it. Students pour out from the doors, and settle into tables - some for the very first time. Chaos and order collide as one.

Sayaka scans the many identical red tables. For two thirds of the cafeteria, familiar faces blend together.

Most ignore her, paying no mind to the dorky bluenette in the corner. Some glance at her and whisper, before laughter ensues. Others glare back at her, clearly signalling that they do not want the spacey weird kid to sit at their table.

With rejection all around, Sayaka doesn't even bother looking at the eighth graders - practically strangers, aside from a few who she recognizes from the halls.

'I guess the only thing new is the year...'

All this leaves, of course, are two options.

Option one - the safe route - would be to sit alone at the far end of the seventh grade portion of the cafeteria. She did essentially the same thing last year, and while lonely and miserable, she was generally left alone. It's not ideal, but it is reliable.

Option two is far more daring.

With a new crop of sixth graders having been harvested for scholastic slaughter by Blackroot Junior High, one third of the cafeteria is filled with people who Sayaka has next-to no personal history with. With a gaggle of sixth graders who have no clue who she is, she would be in the position to maybe, possibly make a real life friend.

A real life, three-dimensional, flesh-and-blood friend.

Perhaps.

...

'That's never going to happen.'

With bitter resignation, Sayaka walks all the way to the far side of the cafeteria, and sits alone at a table. There are six feet of distance between her and any other seventh graders - a fact she has conflicting feelings about.

'Why would I even want to be friends with people? They're never going to save me from a demonically reanimated bandit, or vanquish my foes with blades of blood!'

Conflicting feelings she'd never admit to.

Still, as Sayaka opens her bento box and starts listlessly picking at her rice, the sting of unacknowledged isolation nips at her feet.

'... maybe I should sneak off and get some artwork done.'

Sayaka winces as she hears a burst of laughter from a few tables down.

'It's not like anyone would notice.'

As Sayaka thinks and eats, she never notices the sound of shuffling fabric. As rice enters her mouth, she simply stares at her lunch table and tries to put her mind in a happier, more fantastical place. She doesn't notice the girls sneaking behind her. She doesn't notice the giggles.

She does notice the silence that follows, however.

"Woops! So clumsy again!"

... and she definitely notices the soy sauce as it's poured directly onto her head. She notices the smell, notices the sticky feeling of it crawling down her hair, onto her neck and back. She notices the stains in her uniform.

She notices people laughing - everyone laughing. Staring, all staring. She notices the laughter behind her most of all. Loud, obnoxious...

... familiar.

"Sorry Sakura, I promise it was an accident!"

She notices that her hands are shaking uncontrollably. Her uniform is ruined, and her face feels hot, and she shakes her head, and everyone laughs, and her teeth grind, and she trembles, and she feels her mask cracking, and she's angry, and she feels her mask cracking, and... !

Sayaka's body moves faster than her brain does. She stands up. She turns around. She sees them.

Three girls laughing, smug. She can't hear their taunts over how furious and humiliated she feels. She barely registers as she sends drops of soy sauce in every direction.

Their mouths move, but Sayaka's ears don't hear. Her mask is falling apart, and she can feel her breathing speed up and up and up and her chest feels so tight and there's fire at the ends of her eyes and-

Sayaka races past the girls, shoving them out of the way as she runs.

She runs past the cafeteria doors. She runs down the halls. She runs as her voice gasps and as tears start to leak through the cracks in her composure. She runs past classrooms, past lockers, past windows.

...

Sayaka bursts into the girl's bathroom.

And Sayaka roars.

"That's not even my NAME!"

...

...

The atmosphere in the air was tense as the soy-soaked girl stood up, arms tense at her sides and shaking. While laughter erupted from the eighth and seventh grade tables, the sixth graders were relatively silent. No one was sure how to react.

Especially not Naegi.

'... where are the adults? Is nobody seeing this?'

Even as the trio of bullies continue to taunt and goad her, nobody comes to the blue-haired girl's aid. Even as she quakes in her shoes, no one says a thing.

The unease in Naegi's stomach is punctuated by the sound of the girl's shoes against the floor. She slams into the cafeteria doors, and disappears into the hallways.

Naegi looks around at her fellow sixth graders. Most keep their heads down and get back to their food - conversations previously paused now continuing.

'It's like nothing even happened...'

As Naegi looks down at her food, a bad taste settles in the back of her throat. She can hardly imagine what that girl must have felt like - and trying suddenly makes her feel somewhat... guilty.

"Hey Makoto?" she asks.

"Yeah?"

Komaru sends a worried glance towards the cafeteria doors, and says, "Do you know who that girl was?"

Makoto turns to her, and after glancing off to the side in thought, replies, "I've seen her around, but we aren't in any of the same classes, so I don't know her name. I don't think I've ever talked to her."

Komaru nods.

"Well, thanks anyways," she says, "Um... I'll be right back. Watch my stuff for me?"

"No problem!"

And with another thanks, Komaru turns towards the cafeteria doors herself, and runs after Sayaka.

...

...

...

After a minute or two, Komaru realizes that she has no idea where that girl went. Surrounded by unfamiliar lockers, doors, and halls, another thought occurs to her.

'I'm not quite sure where I am, either...'

Komaru stops to orient herself.

'I should probably find a teacher or something, right? They'd know the layout of this place better than I would.'

After a moment of consideration, she shakes her head.

'No, I don't even know where I'm trying to go. Even if they know the layout, they can't help me if I can't tell them where I need to go.

Komaru groans, face in her palm.

"I wish I just knew where that girl wen- !"

"That's not even my NAME!"

Komaru jumps as she hears a distant cry.

'Sounds like that came from the hall to the right...'

And, as she turns and begins running down the hallway in question, she notices something unique at the opposite end of it.

Bathrooms.

Suddenly, it clicks.

'Bingo. That's gotta be where she went!'

And so, with her destination in front of her, Komaru makes her way into the girl's bathroom.

...

...

...

...

Sayaka glares at her own reflection.

Hair hiding half her face, both covered in dark brown liquid. The smell sticks to her nose, and the stains stick to her clothes. Her face is red, eyes red, fists white.

She is... quite upset.

Her breathing is uneven. Her arms are still shaking. Her heart is beating faster than she can think. Everything is... just a little too much for her. Lights too bright, silence too loud, emotions running way too high.

'I need to get ahold of myself, I need to get ahold of myself, I need to ge-'

Sayaka doesn't register a younger girl slowly slip into the bathroom. She doesn't register tears leaking from her eyes as she uses every ounce of willpower to try and put her mask back together.

Somehow.

She doesn't register how she might look in the eyes of others.

"... Um... hi?"

Until she does.

Sayaka freezes, her heart dropping deep into her stomach. She can't allow herself to be seen like this.

'But it's too late...'

"Are... you okay?"

Sayaka swallows. They're alone. It's just her and... this girl. At least no one can watch this time.

"... do I look okay?" she asks in a small, wavering voice.

An awakward pause.

"I guess that was kind of a silly question, huh?"

Sayaka doesn't face the girl. She can't bring herself to. She knows what she's here for.

'Figures.'

Sayaka opens her mouth.

"Look, I don't... I know why you're here, okay?"

She registers movement out of the corner of her eye. A head tilt?

"Huh?"

Sayaka shakes her head, and turns away from the girl.

"Just do it. Laugh. Point, do whatever, I don't care. Just get it over with," Sayaka says with her eyes glaring at the floor, a familiar sense of bitter resignation in her heart.

A moment passes in silence, Sayaka ready to be proven right.

Instead, she hears footsteps. Eventually, a pair of legs enters her field of vision, framed by a blue uniform skirt.

"Hey..." she hears from the girl in a soft voice, "... look at me."

Sayaka slowly looks up at the girl. She expects to see alot of things. She expects to see indifference. Apathy. Boredom.

She expects to see the girl start laughing. She expects the girl to start pointing at her and exploiting every hole in her composure...

"I don't know if you believe me, but... I'm not here to hurt you."

... she wasn't expecting to see compassion in her eyes.

Sayaka stands there, transfixed. Uncertain.

"I saw you run off, and well... I was worried about you," she says gently. "What those girls did was pretty awful."

Sayaka doesn't know how to respond. This has never happened before.

"Are you okay?"

...

Sayaka is stunned. She can't remember the last time someone her age asked her that. Hell, she can't remember the last time anyone asked her that.

And for some reason, the question feels completely different this time.

Sayaka shudders.

"... n-no. No I'm not."

And with that, Sayaka finally allows herself to cry. At long last, as Sayaka shrinks back behind her hair, the mask comes off.

As tears drip down her face, body shuddering, she feels a soft touch on her shoulder.

"Hey..."

Sayaka looks up again. The girl is still there, that same look of compassion in her eyes.

"It's gonna be alright. My name's Komaru Naegi. What's yours?"

Sayaka's eyes widen.

'Is this... what's happening?'

"Sayaka Maizono..." Sayaka replies in a daze.

Komaru smiles.

"That's a very pretty name," she says, as she brushes some of Sayaka's hair away from her face.

Sayaka is in total disbelief.

"Do you want me to help you get all this soy sauce out of your hair?" Komaru asks, gesturing to the sink.

Sayaka nods quickly, as an understanding of her situation suddenly begins to form.

"Great! When we're done, I've got a spare set of clothes in my bag for PE. We'll figure out what we need to do about your clothes, alright?"

Sayaka smiles softly.

"Alright," she says.

And as Sayaka and Komaru use the sink to try and get as much soy sauce out of Sayaka's hair as possible, Sayaka stops feeling so miserable. She stops feeling so lonely - so frustrated.

Because for the first time in her life, there's some one there to talk to. Because for the first time in her life, someone actually cares. Because for the first time in her life, the person giving her comfort isn't separated from her by a page, or a screen.

Because for the first time in her life...

... Sayaka Maizono has a friend.

And she will never forgive herself if she forgets what that's like.

...

Chapter Text

The sound of crickets surround Sayaka on the littlest of hills.

Stars shine brightly above, somehow visible despite the light pollution of a Japanese city night. Beneath her, the feeling of grass brushes against her skin, cool and soft.

...

The unfamiliar feeling of a body presses up against her right side.

Sayaka and her companion lay beneath the stars, gazing out into an endless, wonderful expanse. Together.

"It's so beautiful out here tonight. You were right: this place really is gorgeous."

Sayaka smiles. Her face feels warm - especially against the cool night air.

"Yeah... it is," she replies, head leaning against the person beside her.

They lay together as the breeze washes over them. A warm, fuzzy buzzing settles into Sayaka's chest and stomach as she feels the skin of another person against her.

...

"Hey, um... Komaru?" she hears herself ask.

She feels the body next to her stir. The weight and heat of Komaru's head lifting from the spot between Sayaka's neck and shoulder is punctuated with a, "What's up?"

Sayaka feels butterflies and regular flies buzzing around in her stomach. She feels the weight of the world squarely on her chest as she opens her mouth.

"I have something I need to tell you," Sayaka says, "I... don't know how to say this, but... I can't hold this in anymore."

Her heart thunders in her chest.

'It's now or never... !'

A moment passes, and as Sayaka is taking a deep breath, she feels another person's hand on her own - soft, delicate, and smooth.

It squeezes.

And Sayaka freezes.

"I have something I gotta say too. But... well..." Komaru begins.

Sayaka sees Komaru sit up from their spot on the hill, and she sits up with her.

Sayaka looks at Komaru, anticipation and dread and elation and trepidation rapidly swirling like a vortex in her heart.

"I think it'd be easier to just show you."

Suddenly, Komaru's hand leaves Sayaka's hand. Sayaka feels her face being cupped by the gentle fingers of the best friend - the only friend - she's ever had.

She sees Komaru's face in front of hers as it draws closer. She sees the light of the full moon reflected in Komaru's eyes. She feels Komaru's warm breath against her skin.

"Sayaka..."

And just like that, Sayaka feels Komaru's lips ag-

Sayaka jolts upright immediately. She's cold. She's sweating profusely.

After a moment, she realizes she's gasping for air. She realizes she's thrown the covers off herself.

She realizes that it's the middle of the night on a Tuesday. She realizes that her hands are shaking.

She realizes that she's not on a hill, under a starry sky, with her... best friend.

...

Sayaka sits up, legs hanging over her bed frame. She puts her head in her hands and groans.

"... what's wrong with me?"

Sayaka hears her heart beating in her ears, but she doesn't hear a response.

Silence surrounds her as she sits.

Eventually, Sayaka lays back down, covers strewn across the floor. She makes no effort to retrieve them as she lies on her back. As Sayaka stares at the ceiling, thoughts and feelings swirl discordantly throughout her skull.

All stemming from one, ordinary girl.

...

Sleep eludes her that night.

...

...

...

...

'Did food always taste this good?'

Sayaka wonders to herself absentmindedly as she chews on her red bean onigiri.

She still isn't entirely sure what to make of her situation. Three weeks into seventh grade, and much to her surprise, it seems like things are... getting better?

"So what time were you thinking? I'm home pretty much all day on the weekends, so any time is good for me."

Definitely getting better.

Sayaka swallows her mouthful of food.

"I'll probably show up around noon. Dad likes to make breakfast on Saturday," she says.

Komaru smiles in response.

"Sounds good! You always get this look on your face when you talk about Lala - I wanna see what all the fuss is about."

Sayaka smiles as she feels her face heat up.

'I don't get a look on my face... do I?'

"What can I say? Lala is life," Sayaka says with an awkward giggle.

As Sayaka takes another bite of her onigiri, she feels a strange lump of emotional spaghetti settle in her gut.

Saturday. Three days from now. Komaru's house. In Komaru's room. For the first time.

'And I'm going to spend the night!'

Anticipation and anxiety slither around in Sayaka's stomach like snakes. Even just the idea that someone could like her enough to want to hang out with her outside of school is... exhilarating!

But... at the same time, so so so many things could just... go wrong. As far as Sayaka is concerned, she walked into a shoujo manga three weeks ago, and she can't let anything get in the way of that.

"Well, at least you've got taste - unlike some big brothers I could name," Komaru began with a pointed glance at Makoto's spot at the 7th grader tables, "You don't just get all your opinions from the internet."

Who else would Sayaka ever be able to talk to about the finest shoujo and shounen in the land?

"I think it's nice that he reads manga with you. You two are pretty lucky to have something like that to bond over," she says, before sipping on some milk.

Komaru tilts her head into her hand with a smile. Sayaka ignores the heat in her chest.

"Yeah... I just wish his tastes weren't so... boring, y'know? It's like he goes out of his way to only read whatever's popular at the moment!"

Sayaka nods sagely in understanding.

"Ah, yes... a filthy casual - totally disengaged with the gems that lay outside the pages of Shounen Jump! To be so ignorant, and yet so optimistic... it must be true what they say - ignorance is bliss!"

Komaru laughs, and Sayaka's world suddenly feels a little bit more colourful.

"You're such a dork!"

Sayaka smiles, giggling.

"Yeah, but I'm your favourite dork."

'... right?'

Komaru smiles back.

"Well, you got me there. I don't think Makoto would've ever brought home Weekly Shounen Sunday if you hadn't badgered him about it for a week. Inuyasha is too good to be held hostage by the creeps at Comix Fox!"

The smile on Sayaka's face is small, but the grin in her mind is wide.

And then Komaru keeps talking.

"And between you and me? I've moved around alot, and I've been to alot of schools... but I think you're probably the person I've clicked with the fastest, y'know? Right from day one. It's almost like something out of a manga..."

Sayaka swallows her bite of onigiri.

'I... I...'

Joy fluttered throughout Sayaka's body. No living, actual, 3D human person has ever just... made her feel like this. To be understood, and... maybe even accepted...

"I feel exactly the same way," Sayaka says resolutely, heart fluttering in her chest.

...

As Komaru takes one last bite of her bun, and Sayaka eats the last of her onigiri, they hear the bell ring.

Lunch is officially over.

"I'll see you after school, okay?" Komaru says as she gets up.

Sayaka beams, cheeks twice as red as she thinks they are.

"After school!" she replies.

And as Sayaka melts into the crowd of seventh graders leaving the cafeteria, she leaves with her heart set on only one person.

...

...

...

...

12:23 PM.

Saturday.

Sayaka takes a deep breath, grateful that Komaru's house isn't as far from her apartment as she'd previously feared.

'Okay, one more time...

As quietly as possible, Sayaka repeats... the line.

Scientifically calculated to create the best impression, Sayaka begins a set of motions purpose built to endear one's self to any and all potential friends. An introduction handcrafted, using only the most potent of linguistic tropes borrowed from anime and manga both popular and obscure.

Sayaka's head tilts 23.73 degrees to the side, and she closes her eyes briefly; even the body language is lifted straight out of a manga panel.

"Hi," she begins, a perfect mix of casual and formal.

She bows forward, a sign of respect that adults just eat up.

"My name's Sayaka Maizono," she continues, confidence building.

As she comes up from her bow, ready to stick the landing on her final rehearsal, she doesn't notice the door opening.

"I look forw-"

She freezes.

...

Standing in front of her with trashbag in hand, stands a confused looking Makoto.

...

"Uh, hey... Sayaka?" he asks, with a quirk of his brow.

"Oh hi," she says, jolting upright.

Her face is red.

'I can't believe I got caught li-'

"Could you, uh... move? I gotta take the trash out. Komaru's in the living room," Makoto says, shaking the trashbag for emphasis.

Sayaka squeaks a vague sound of agreement, far too embarrassed at having been caught talking to herself in public to speak.

She quickly steps aside.

"Thanks!"

And Makoto walks past her, oblivious as always.

'... did anyone else see me doing that on the way here? Everybody's going to think I'm crazy!'

Sayaka shakes her head.

'No! Focus! It's Komaru o' Clock!'

Sayaka straightens herself out - expression and posture returning to neutral seemingly on command.

And with that, Sayaka enters the house.

...

...

...

'Oh wow, this place is really big.'

As Sayaka enters the Naegi household, she finds herself in awe of it. Family photos, clean and fresh tiles, nice carpet, beautiful wooden furniture, and a warm atmosphere.

The house feels like a happy family.

'Wow...' Sayaka thinks as she wanders into the living room.

A big flat screen TV, videogames, a PlayStation 2, a DVD Player, sound system, a little fake plant, a big real plant (bamboo, if you're curious), cream coloured walls, nice blinds, a big ol' couch with a littler one-seater couch next to it.

And of course, nestled into the center of the larger couch is none other than Komaru Naegi herself.

"Oh hey! You made it! The walk wasn't too far, was it?"

Sayaka smiles a full, bright smile.

"No. It was actually alot closer than I thought it would be," Sayaka says with a giggle.

Komaru smiles back at her, and throws her arms out.

"Well, it's nothing super crazy, but welcome to Casa Naegi - population you, me, Makoto, and my parents in-" Komaru briefly takes out her flip-phone to check the time "-an hour!"

Sayaka giggles again, a warm feeling bubbling in her chest as she wanders into the room.

"It's pretty nice for 'nothing super crazy.' Your house is really cozy," Sayaka says as she sits down on the little one-seater.

Komaru laughs sheepishly as she says, "Yeah, well... I'm sure your place is alot nicer than mine."

Sayaka shakes her head.

"Not at all! I live in a tiny little apartment. It's like four shoe boxes connected by a hallway," she starts, "So this house is a huge step up for me! It really is nice."

Komaru rubs her elbow bashfully, but doesn't push.

"Well, if you say so," she says.

As they hear Makoto reenter the house, Komaru begins speaking again.

"Anyways, my parent's are going to be bringing by some mochi ice cream soon..."

Sayaka feels a small hitch in her good mood.

"So is there anything you wanna do while we wait?"

Sayaka swallows, and grins.

"Actually..."

She quickly pulls out the latest issue of Lala.

"... have you ever read Ouran Highschool Host Club?"

...

...

...

...

Sayaka stares up at the ceiling.

Midnight at Komaru's house.

The events of the day replay in Sayaka's head over and over again.

Reading Lala with Komaru had been amazing. Komaru may have bounced off Ouran Highschool Host Club - "This feels kinda... weird..." - but she fell in love with Natsume's Book of Friends.

Komaru said it was relatable. Sayaka couldn't agree more.

The mochi had been...

... well...

It was tasty, for sure. Sweet. Green tea was a flavour Sayaka tended to avoid - though, the same could be said of mochi in general, really. The texture of the outer mochi layer was perfectly chewy, the inner ice cream perfectly sweet and creamy.

From a purely objective standpoint, it was all very tasty.

Even so, it was a tough snack for Sayaka to stomach.

...

Guilt has a tendency to spoil nice things, after all.

...

Even so, Komaru and her family made it worth it. Her parents are nice - impossibly nice. Sayaka has never met any adult more engaged with their kid's lives, or more caring.

'If my Dad were half the dad Komaru's Dad is...'

Sayaka doesn't finish that thought.

Komaru's mom was equally incredible. An incredible cook, an incredible conversationalist, and incredibly optimistic.

'An incredible mom...'

If Sayaka were to say that she's not jealous, she'd be lying.

Komaru's family is perfect. Her house is perfect. Her tastes in manga is... really close to perfect.

In the end, they watched Full Metal Alchemist recorded on the family's VCR. Makoto even joined in for a bit - though, admittedly, he was a bit of a third wheel.

All together, the night was a huge success.

Dinner was great.

Her dad didn't call.

And she got to spend alot of time with Komaru.

The night had been a success.

...

'So why can't I sleep?'

...

A stabbing, wriggling mass of emotional sludge settles in her stomach.

Komaru Naegi - so close, yet not close enough. The only good thing in Sayaka's world that isn't locked behind a screen, a page, or... something else.

Any time not spent around Komaru feels like time wasted.

For weeks, Sayaka's mind had been torn between two emotions. On the one hand, disbelief - these sorts of things don't happen. Not in real life.

Not for people like her.

On the other hand, desperation - Sayaka has never clung to something or someone so desperately. Komaru is like a pocket of air in a dark cave filled with water. She's Sayaka's lifeline - hope for the hopeless, life for the lifeless.

She's everything Sayaka's ever wanted.

Everything she's ever needed.

And she just. Can't. Get Komaru. Out. Of. Her. Head

...

Unbeknownst to Sayaka, a third feeling had emerged. This feeling, something she'd never encountered before, crushes disbelief, and swallows desperation whole. It engulfs and consumes.

Devotion.

And it is this devotion which keeps Sayaka up at night, much to her confusion.

...

It would only be around three in the morning that exhaustion would force Sayaka to pass out.

...

...

...

...

It's surprisingly warm, come Monday morning.

Sayaka leans forward, gazing down at a familiar set of train tracks. Two blocks from her apartment, three blocks from school.

The sounds of people going to work, or to school, pass her by. A soft, cool breeze washes over her.

...

"Hey."

...

She doesn't hear a response.

...

"It's been awhile, huh?"

...

Sayaka tucks the hair on her left side behind her ear to keep it from being blown into her mouth.

...

"I know I haven't visited you in a few weeks."

...

She looks down at her shoes.

...

"... sorry about that."

...

As Sayaka stands there, breathing in the morning air, she begins to tune out the sounds of people around her.

This spot belongs to her, after all. Not them.

And not Sayaka.

...

"I... just wanted to tell you something."

...

A small leaf floats by her face and onto the tracks below, carried by the wind.

...

"I made a friend. Crazy, right?"

Sayaka sniffs.

"Who'd want to be friends with someone like me?"

...

Sayaka hears a distant thundering sound from below - her signal to hurry up and get to school.

...

"I just wanted to let you know that. I don't know if you care, but... I figured you'd want to know, if you did."

And suddenly, a high speed train comes ripping through the leaf on the tracks.

"I have to get to school now."

...

"I'll see you later, okay?"

...

Sayaka doesn't hear a response.

She never does.

...

...

...

Chapter Text

...

Komaru gazes at the ceiling listlessly.

...

She has homework to do.

Chores to take care of.

Family to make proud.

...

"And here I am, doing nothing... again."

... but sometimes, she just feels so tired.

...

Her eyes drift down from the ceiling, and to the posters at the foot of her bed.

One Piece, Kirby, and Girl Crush - the holy trinity of entertainment. Great things that are always there, no matter what.

Most days, her Girl Crush poster - with Toko Fukawa's smiling face front and center - puts a smile on her face too.

... but today isn't one of those days.

No, today Komaru isn't sure how she feels about it. Sometimes, she hears Toko Fukawa's lyrics, and she feels a connection and a sense of solidarity she rarely gets to have with other girls her age. Those days, waking up to Fukawa's smiling face is enough to get her out of bed all on its own.

'You can't decide
Which one deserves more scorn;
to be born to die?
Or to have been born?'

And other times, she feels like she's looking in a mirror, and she doesn't like what she sees.

Average. Dull. Stupid. Small. Insignificant.

"A drop in the bucket."

And those days, Girl Crush's poster just feels like salt in the wound.

...

Sometimes Komaru isn't even sure why she exists. Her Dad is a successful businessman, moving across the country every few years to pursue new opportunities. He never worries about how he'll fit in, or how well he'll do - never worries if he's good enough. Smart enough. Talented enough.

Even on a bad day, his endless optimism can be infectious - a gift that keeps on giving.

Her mother is a great home cook, an excellent caregiver, and an endless wellspring of compassion. She's the glue that holds the family together. She's always there when people need her. She never complains, never belittles anybody, never asks for more than what others can handle. She's happy just to make other people happy.

A gentle smile from her could cure anybody's bad mood. And she has a smile for everyone, without even trying.

Even her older brother, unassuming as he may be, is special. She's read his diary - or journal, as he insists it's called. The way he writes... she doesn't understand why he doesn't show anyone! It's the best writing she's ever read in her life!

It's engaging, it's relatable, it sucks you in - it's just as vivid as the best manga she's ever read, with none of the drawing.

If she had talent like that, she'd show the whole world!

...

"That's the thing, though, isn't it?"

If only she had talent. If only she were more optimistic. If only she had more to offer.

If only she were... more. If only she were more like her mom, or her dad, or her brother.

If only she were enough.

...

"But I don't have any talent at all. I'm not self assured. I'm not especially skilled. I'm not super kind, or smart, hard working. I... don't really have anything going for me, do I?"

...

Komaru turns onto her side.

Her room is messy and disorganized. Aside from a shelf full of shounen - and a few shoujo releases courtesy of Sayaka - there's no rhyme or reason to where things are placed.

They're just there.

Like her.

...

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Komaru presses pause on her mp3 player as she hears a knock on the door.

The music stops.

"What is it?" she half-shouts across her room.

She hears a muffled clink from behind her door as the voice of her brother answers.

"It's me! Could you open the door? My hands are uh... kinda full."

Komaru raises an eyebrow. She shrugs and slowly extracts herself from her bed, sliding off her headphones.

"Sure, hold on!"

Expertly stepping over plushies and DS game boxes, she approaches the door.

Komaru pauses with her hand outstretched.

"Okay, look alive!"

And opens the door.

...

"Hey," Makoto says.

He stands just a step or two away from the door with two mugs. Steam wafts from atop them, and the sweet smell of chocolate instantly fills Komaru's nose.

"What's up?" she asks.

Makoto responds with a small, gentle smile.

"It seemed like you were having a rough day, so... I figured I'd try to cheer you up."

Makoto holds a mug out to Komaru. She sees little marshmallows floating around in the cup.

Guilt and gratitude well up in Komaru's stomach as she responds.

"Hot chocolate's a little weird at the tail end of May, doncha think?"

Makoto chuckles softly.

"I dunno, I think hot chocolate tastes good every month. I can take it back if you don't want it..."

Komaru's hands take a hold of the mug being offered to her.

"Well I didn't say that..."

Makoto laughs as Komaru holds the large mug in her small hands. Warmth radiates from both the beverage and Makoto alike.

"How're you feeling?" Makoto asks.

Komaru holds the mug up to her nose. Cautious, she just enjoys the smell of coco as she answers.

"I'm feeling... kinda blegh, I guess. I dunno. I don't think I have anything to complain about."

Makoto frowns.

"Did something happen?" he asks.

Komaru shakes her head.

"No, no..."

"Nothing worth talking about..." she thinks to herself.

Komaru shrugs.

"Like I said, I don't think I have anything to complain about. Life's just peachy!" she says, punctuating the peachy with an exaggerated smile.

...

Komaru looks away.

"Just, y'know... having an off day, I guess."

...

Makoto looks down in thought for a moment.

"Well, I hope I can make your day a little better. I know you're not always feeling your best, but..."

Komaru blows on her hot chocolate as Makoto speaks.

"... well, that's what family's for, don't you think?"

Makoto smiles as he finishes, before he cautiously takes a sip of his hot chocolate.

Komaru smiles back as she takes an equally hesitant sip of chocolate herself. Creamy coco goodness fills her mouth with sweetness and heat.

"Well," she swallows, "I dunno, I might just have a few more off days if it means you're gonna bring me hot chocolate. I think that's what family's really for."

Makoto chuckles as the warmth from Komaru's coco fills her stomach.

"No promises," he says.

"Buuut... I'd be a pretty crummy older brother if I just left you all by yourself, so... who knows?"

Komaru smirks.

"You are a crummy older brother," she starts, "but you're a pretty cool crummy older brother..."

Komaru takes another sip.

"...sometimes," she finishes with a giggle.

Makoto just smiles in response.

"You wanna read some Shounen Jump? I actually just got back from Comix Fox earlier. I even got my hands on a few tankoban that I think you might like."

Komaru returns a smaller, but equally sincere smile of her own.

"Sure," she says.

And as she follows Makoto to his room, coco in hand, she feels a small amount of relief. A tiny bit of weight is lifted off her shoulders.

...

...

...

...

Komaru passes masses of faceless NPCs on her way to the cafeteria.

The chatter of hundreds of people surrounds her as she navigates the halls of her school. Bursts of laughter, bitter complaints - they all blend together into an undefined mass of noise.

"Every school looks different... but they sure do sound the same."

And as she weaves through the crowd, Komaru feels very... alone.

Every person she passes is a stranger. Every voice she hears is unfamiliar. Every step she takes is uncertain.

And, as she pushes open the cafeteria doors - the sound of laughter bursting from somewhere out in the sea of faces - each and every table is an island unto itself.

Each step deeper into the chaotic whirlpool of people known as the cafeteria almost leaves her dizzy. The tall ceiling and the closely fitted tables, the lifelong friend groups and bitter enemies, they all leave her disoriented.

Despite her physical proximity to her fellow students, the distance between her and them feels cold and vast. Each and every person she passes as she heads to her self-assigned seat reminds her that she's the real stranger - an intruder in someone else's world.

...

"But I guess that's how it's always been, huh?"

...

As she nears her destination, a speck of blue catches her eye. Deep within the shifting mass of students, sits one of her only true allies.

"Sayaka."

Komaru sees Sayaka's face as she approaches.

As per usual, Sayaka is hunched over her lunch, her hair covering a good portion of her features. The visible portion of her face is impassive, acting like a steel wall between her and the students surrounding her.

She sits, tense and intense. The only thing giving away her feelings is one tiny detail - one of many that Komaru's started to pick up on. Sayaka's eyes seem to instantly snap towards any sudden noises or movements, always alert, always on guard - always anxious.

It isn't until Komaru sets her lunch down and takes a seat across from her that Sayaka looks up.

...

"Oh! Hi, Komaru," she says, eyes snapping to the girl across from her.

As Komaru opens her bento box, she flashes Sayaka a quick smile.

"Hey~" Komaru replies with a small wave, "How's it going?"

Sayaka gives Komaru an awkward, hesitant smile in return - as though she isn't sure if its okay for her to smile or not.

"I've b- I'm doing okay," she says with a blush and a nod.

"She's still so shy sometimes..." Komaru thinks to herself.

"How about you? Anything new and... exciting happening in the world of Komaru?" Sayaka asks, eyes sparkling as she slowly starts to relax.

Komaru starts picking at her food as she answers.

"I wish," she says with a self-deprecating chuckle.

"Just manga and homew-"

Suddenly, a realization starts crawling down her spine.

Somewhere, from deep within the depths of her mind, the mental image of her homework bubbles to the surface - half of it still sitting on her desk, forgotten in her rush to school.

"I forgot to grab all of my homework."

Komaru's eyes widen.

"-oh for th- ugh, wait, I-"

She double face-palms.

"The whole point of coco and manga was to motivate me to do my homework and I didn't even remember to bring it? Seriously? What the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I do anything righ-"

"Um... Komaru?" Sayaka says, as Komaru sits there with her face pressed deep into her hands.

"Er frgr trgrb mr hrwrk," she replies from inside her palms.

Sayaka tilts her head in confusion.

"Huh?"

Komaru lifts her head out of her hands with a groan.

"I forgot to grab my homework this morning," she says, frustrated and defeated in equal measure.

"Oh," Sayaka replies, "What class was it for?"

Komaru heaves a long-suffering sigh.

"More like what class wasn't it for? Math, English, History, I think I forgot half of everything!" she says, cradling her head in her palms.

Sayaka looks down in thought as Komaru groans once again.

"Ughhh what am I gonna do?"

...

After an awkward moment of silence, Komaru starts closing her bento box.

"I'm sorry Sayaka, but I gott-"

"Wait!" Sayaka says, grabbing Komaru's sleeve as she starts getting up. Komaru stops.

"What... what if I help you? I'm a year older than you - technically, I'm your senpai! I've probably done some of your homework before! And two sets of hands are better than one, so..." Sayaka trails off.

Komaru feels a mixture of gratitude and guilt.

"Sayaka, you really don't have t-"

"I want to!" Sayaka interrupts, face red and eyes closed.

Komaru bites her lip, doubt still crawling around in her mind as Sayaka stands up from the table with her.

"But wouldn't that be cheating? What if we get caught?" Komaru asks with a worried expression. Guilt wriggles around in her stomach like a worm.

Sayaka locks eyes with Komaru, something bitter poking through her gaze.

"You think any of the teachers here care? They probably won't even recognize my handwriting," she says, voice unusually flat.

Komaru is taken aback, but Sayaka doesn't miss a beat as her face blooms into a big blushing smile, eyes briefly closed.

"Now come on, I have somewhere I want to show you!" she says.

Sayaka finally let's go of Komaru's sleeve as she turns around and starts heading for the cafeteria door.

"H-hey! Wait up!"

And just like that, Komaru is rushing to catch up with Sayaka all over again.

...

...

...

...

"Where are we even going?"

Sayaka looks back as she leads Komaru by the hand through large and largely empty hallways.

"I have to stop by my locker to pick up my binder. Do you need to get anything from yours?"

"Well... yeah, I guess so," Komaru replies.

"Okay. What's your locker number?" Sayaka asks as they turn a corner.

Komaru tilts her head in thought for a moment.

"Uh... I wanna say two sixty-six? Or was it two fifty-six?"

Komaru shakes her head.

"One of those two. Sorry," she says sheepishly.

"I don't think that's too far from my locker, and... that's pretty much the right direction..." Sayaka says as she looks away, seemingly more to herself than to Komaru.

"Uh, Sayaka... ?"

Sayaka snaps back to reality.

"Huh?"

She stops, letting go of Komaru's hand. Komaru stops too.

"Where are we? Also, where's your locker?" Komaru asks.

Sayaka looks around briefly. She looks confused for a moment, before recognition sets off a spark in her eyes and she turns to face her left.

"Right here, actually!" she says triumphantly, hands on her hips.

"Wait, really?"

Sayaka smirks.

"Of course! I knew we'd find it before we even left the cafeteria," she replies as she turns the combination lock to unlock it.

"How?" Komaru asks, bewildered by their good luck.

...

"Because," Sayaka begins as she opens her locker.

...

She pauses as the locker door sits ajar. Dozens of tiny posters and doodles cover every surface from top to bottom.

...

Sayaka looks back at Komaru with an intense, icy stare.

"... I'm psychic."

Komaru takes a step back as she feels her heart skip a beat.

"Wha- No, wait, really!?" they both say at the same time.

Komaru feels a chill roll down her spine. Sayaka's gaze is piercing and distant.

Komaru feels unease begin to pool in her stomach.

"S-Sayaka?"

The atmosphere feels completely frozen over. Komaru feels her heart beating in her chest, and a drop of sweat rolls down her forehead.

"What if..."

...

"Just kidding!"

And just like that, the moment thaws completely.

Sayaka laughs as she closes her locker, binder in hand. She has a full smile, bright and sincere.

"I know this school's layout like the back of my hand. I got you pretty good, though, huh?" she says as she relocks her locker.

Komaru blinks.

"But wait, how did you-"

"- know what you were going to say?" Sayaka finishes.

Komaru nods vigorously.

"Yeah!" she exclaims.

Sayaka smiles as a blush grows across her face.

"I've just got really good intuition," she says with a shrug.

"Plus, we're... really good friends," she continues, "I've seen how you react to all sorts of things."

Komaru feels a wave of relief wash over her. She puts her hand on her chest as her heartbeat calms down.

"You really know how to give someone a scare. I almost believed you were an esper for a second there!"

Sayaka just smiles and giggles.

"Oh, and your locker's behind you, by the way. Three to the left, actually," she says.

"Huh?!"

Komaru turns around and finds her locker - #256 - outfitted with a One Piece sticker.

"Oh. Huh."

As Komaru begins gathering what she needs from her locker, a single thought begins percolating somewhere deep within her brain.

"Sayaka can be kinda scary sometimes..."

...

...

...

...

"... and here we are!" Sayaka exclaims, throwing one of her arms out with a big toothy grin.

"Uh..." Komaru starts.

She tilts her head in confusion and puts a finger up to her chin.

"... our destination is a vending machine?" she finishes.

Behind Sayaka is a little alcove, with a Coca Cola vending machine. Next to it, within the alcove, sits a plain wooden bench and a trash can.

"Oh Komaru, so ignorant art thee, my sweet," Sayaka says with an exaggerated aristocratic tone.

She turns her nose up.

"This is no mere vending machine!" she begins, finger raised, "This is one of my most prized work spaces!"

Suddenly, Sayaka drops the accent, and looks far less confident. Her face reddens as she continues to speak.

"It's usually pretty quiet. Nobody ever bothers you this far away from everyone else, so... " she says, trailing off uncertainly as she shrinks back into herself.

Sayaka looks away as she hears Komaru's giggle, her hands tangled together near her chest while she holds her binder tightly against herself.

"So is this your secret little get-away?" Komaru says with an enthused tone as she sits down on the bench next to the vending machine.

Sayaka blushes and closes her eyes.

"I guess so... yeah..." she squeaks out, in a small voice.

Komaru blinks.

"Hey, Sayaka," she says.

Sayaka continues to look away with closed eyes as she says, "... yeah?"

"Look at me," Komaru says.

...

Slowly, face very red, Sayaka opens her eyes and begins turning her gaze towards Komaru.

Komaru looks at Sayaka's face. While she might not grasp the full significance of this little area, she grasps the vulnerability in Sayaka's eyes - and grasps how hard it is for Sayaka to let her walls come down like this.

"I'm right here, okay? I'm your friend. This place must be really special to you," she starts, with a soft smile and a compassionate tone.

Sayaka stands there, eyes transfixed on her friend.

"I'm glad that you're showing it to me. I think it's kinda cute that you have your own little hidey hole," she continues with a larger, more amused smile.

"C-cute!?" Sayaka says, redder than a tomato.

Not privy to Sayaka's internal monologue, Komaru simply finishes with, "And I think this is a great place to do math homework."

Sayaka's brow furrows.

"Huh?"

And then she remembers.

"Oh, yeah..." she says, as she looks down at her binder.

Sayaka stands there, marinating in silence for just the briefest of moments, before she slowly opens her mouth.

"Um..." she starts.

Sayaka swallows.

"... actually, can I... show you something, first?"

Komaru tilts her head in curiosity.

"Sure!" she says, "What is it?"

Komaru sees Sayaka take a deep breath.

Sayaka closes her eyes. She slowly lifts the binder from her chest, and carefully holds it out to Komaru with trembling hands. Her hands are white from the pressure with which she holds it.

Komaru looks at the binder being offered to her, and then back to Sayaka.

"What's this?" she asks curiously as she grabs the binder in her own hands.

Sayaka breathes out as she lets go of the binder, allowing Komaru to examine it more closely.

In her hands is a blank, blue binder. It has no identifying marks, aside from a little Lala sticker on the spine. Its surprising heftiness only serves to pique Komaru's curiosity further.

"Open it," Sayaka says quietly, nervously fidgeting in place.

Komaru looks up to Sayaka briefly and nods, before she does as she's told.

"Wha-"

...

"Woah."

In Komaru's hand is... a drawing.

Laid out in exquisite detail is a full-colour illustration taking up an entire page. In it, Komaru and Sayaka are sitting together on a hill, holding hands and looking at the sky together. Beneath them are blades of grass, each rendered individually through extremely fine and delicate penwork. Above them, a sky full of stars shines brightly.

As Komaru takes the whole thing in, she notices more and more little details. Every fold of fabric, every individual hair on their heads, even down to their shoelaces - all of it reveals itself to Komaru as Sayaka fidgets with nervous anticipation.

All of it blows Komaru away.

"..."

She could never even hope to draw something this good.

...

"Sayaka?"

Sayaka flinches, and nervously fiddles with her fingers as she responds.

"... y-yeah?" she asks.

Komaru puts the binder down in her lap.

"This is amazing," Komaru says, frankly.

"I mean, look at it!" she continues, gesturing towards the image in front of her, "This is top-level stuff!"

Sayaka looks away, embarrassed.

"I'm sure it's not tha-"

"Nope," Komaru interrupts.

"Huh?"

Komaru shakes her head, "I said nope. No way. Nuh-uh. No. You don't get to say things like that. This is awesome, it's literally one of the best drawings I've ever seen and we read alot of the same manga. This is awesome, it's amazing, it's better then anything I could ever do, and I'm not letting you cheat yourself out of your own awesomeness."

Komaru crosses her arms.

"This is beautiful, perfect, and amazing," she says resolutely, "And that's that."

Sayaka stands there, stunned.

Then she shakes her head.

"But what abou-"

"No," Komaru stops her.

"But isn't it-"

"Nuh uh."

"But I cou-"

"Nope."

"But-!"

Komaru holds her hand up to Sayaka in a quieting gesture.

"Stop. Just stop," she says.

Komaru gets up from the bench, puts the binder on the bench, and grabs Sayaka by the shoulders.

Komaru doesn't think about how close to each other they are.

"Sayaka, look at me."

Sayaka does.

"I want you to say it," Komaru says.

Sayaka tilts her head in confusion.

"Say what?" she asks.

Komaru looks at Sayaka with determination.

"I want you to say that your drawing is really good," she says.

Sayaka begins shaking her head.

"But I-"

"Say it," Komaru demands.

"But-"

"Sayaka," Komaru draws out with a warning tone.

Sayaka sighs, and mumbles something to herself.

"What was that?" Komaru asks.

"It's... really good," Sayaka nearly whispers.

Komaru puts her hand up to her ear and points it towards Sayaka.

"I'm sorry, could I hear that one more time?"

Sayaka takes a deep breath.

"I said... I said that it's really good!" she exclaims, fists clenched and eyes closed.

Komaru smiles brightly.

"That's right! And don't you dare say anything else!" Komaru says, as Sayaka's face blushes.

"Sayaka, you could be the next Rumiko Takehashi with skills like that. You're... well, you're really something special," she says with a soft, sincere smile.

Sayaka nods, dumbfounded and elated in equal measure.

Komaru, none the wiser, simply says, "Now let's get started on this homework - the sooner we finish, the sooner you can show me more of your stuff."

As Komaru sits back down, she looks up at Sayaka's face.

Sayaka's cheeks are bright red. She has a small, but earnest smile of her own. Her eyes sparkle with joy, and she nods her head as she registers Komaru's words.

"Right. Right!" she says, slowly reconnecting to the real world.

And as Sayaka takes a seat between her best friend and a vending machine, two feelings settle into Komaru's heart.

On the one hand, she feels extremely happy for Sayaka. She always knew Sayaka was different, but she never knew that Sayaka was truly brilliant. Art this good, at this age?

"Sayaka must be some kind of genius!"

... but on the other hand, Komaru's feelings of inadequacy only deepen.

Deep within her heart, only one thing is certain. Only one true constant exists in the world of Komaru.

"I'll never be as good as her."

And as they speedrun Komaru's homework, her low self-opinion slowly slides ever lower.

...

...

...