Chapter Text
“It’s joever Komori Yui,” Ayato would burst into a large grey room, with pink flags lined up as far as the eye can see, aiming down the ironsights of his Walther PPK “You’ve lost. Just give up, too many people have already died.”
Yui would smirk as she slowly turned around, her hands clasped behind in a dignified manner as a leather greatcoat billowed in the wind.
“You’re a fool, Sakamaki Ayato, just like the rest of your kin. You think this is joever? Pah, folly.” She would suddenly take out what appeared to be a remote control device with a bright red button. She would press the button as television screens would light up behind her, the large window inside the now captured Eden Castle turning into a giant display. The display would shine up, revealing the other five Sakamakis trapped in various perilous situations “Behold! My SakamakiDeathTrapinator 3000!”
Yui in a leather greatcoat? What is this, an off-brand Underworld movie.??? ?? ? ?)
“How dare you do this!!! You will never get way with it!!!” Said Shu, wearing a Spongebob thong. He pointed at Yui with his his middlefinger. “Don’t you know that when you activate the SakamakiDeathTrapinator 3000!, it will cause the entire Ring of Fire to erupt!”
“Don’t you lecture me with your thirty dollar Spongebob thong!” screamed the schoolgirl-turned-mad-scientist-turned-tinpot-dictator. “I know FULLY WELL what the SakamakiDeathTrapinator 3000 does! And I would have explained it, had you meddling little Sakama- bah, forget it! With this SakamakiDeathTrapinator 3000, I will put all of you into the DeathTrap, leading me to shape the world in my own face!” General Yui-senpai-chan-sama-san cackled, not unlike a certain not!German pharmacist.
“I don’t give a care that the entire Ring of Fire will erupt! Japan sinking to the ground is a desirable outcome.” said Yui. “The work of grandfather MacArthur will finally be complete.” Shu pointed at Yui again, this time with two middle-fingers. “HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY MASTERFULLY CRAFTED THONG! IT IS MADE BY THE BEST PRODUCERS IN ALL OF VAMPIRELAND!”
Yui smiled. “Hahaha,” she laughed, her voice completely lacking in tone and inflection. “‘Best producers in all of Vampireland’... I bet you ran into some Slovenians.” Shu did the skull emoji in real life.
Yui would press the button again, as suddenly a trap door would open underneath Ayato’s feet. Ayato would lood down, horrified, then gulped, then only after that would he fall down the chute. “CURSE YOU KOMORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”
Cordelia smirked. “Baka-yaro (idiot in japanese).. How do we know this is the REAL SakamakiDeathTrapinator 3000!.. ? You are but a silly little Christian schoolgirl, you must be bluffing.” She placed her fingers on her nose as if she was adjusting nonexistent glasses hotly. Like mother, like son.
Out of the blue came out a certain, almost sleep deprived pale schoolboy. Instead of speaking like a normal f*cking human being, however, his teeth clicked, similar to that of a certain platypus. He was ready to kick the s*it out of the self-proclaimed leader of Yuitopia (real original there, Ms. Robotic Hivemind Creator), but alas2…
“Ahhh, Kanato the Schoolboy. You arrived just in time.” Yui said. “But don’t touch that dial just yet. I have a nasty little surprise for you. Two in fact!” Yui pressed a button on the wall. Two sliding doors opened and two robots walked in. They both aimed their arm-cannons at Kanato, and started firing slow-moving lasers at the schoolboy.
Kanato quickly reacted by ripping of Shu’s thong, revealing that he had another thong under there. Kanato then swinged it around, hitting the lasers, causing them to be deflected back where they came from. The robots violently exploded in a blaze of sparks and fire. This angered Yui. “Nice try schoolboy, but that wasn’t the trick I had.” She pressed another button, this one slightly bigger. THREE robots arrived. That’s more then TWO.
Those three robots were also kild off easily, because Kanto (POKEMON REFERENCE????????? XDDDDDDD) swinged the thong again and the robots dieded in a Mike Bae explosion that came out of Transgenderformers 2 the Side of da Mun. His eyes also lit up red, as ultrarrealistic BLOOOOOOOODDDDDDD dripped out of them, which he drank, because he was a vampire. Duh. What else did you expect?
“Tch!” Yui had grit her teeth, sweat dripping down her face. “My robots dieded in a Mike Bae explosion that came out of Transgendergormer 2 the Sude of da Moun. Is this . . . some kind of special MARTIAL ART..? Was he an agent of Megatron this whole time?!” Her eyes flared with a mixture of rage and fear.
“ENOUGH OF THIS YOU HORRID CREATURE!!!” Yui said. “I will show you the real power, as I have not just a Spongebob thong, I have THIS!!!” Yui suddenly grabbed a Avatar the Last Airbender thong. She then pressed another button, opening the roof. Lightning struck the thong, supercharging it. Kanato readied for battle. The BATTLE OF THE THONGS!
Suddenly, Yui would press a secret button on a grey podium with a very secret red button “HAIL ETERNAL YUI-SENPAI-CHAN-SAMA-SAN THOUGHT!” cried out a thousand (or something, I failed math) voices as the room was then flooded by ELITE Komoriist commandos clad in black CBRN suits. The ELITE HYPER SUPER ULTRA SOLDIERS would surround the hapless Sakamaki boys, pointing their MP5SDs
“By Jove, just how many buttons does this insidious witch even HAVE?” Thought Shu, aloud.