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“Hey, Ikki. We’re alone now. How are you feeling?”
Vice pauses, waits. Ikki is silent. They can feel her inside, but she’s quiet. Vice sighs, getting her body undressed and ready for bed.
How many times has Ikki wished for this? To hide away without having to disappear. She did so well, recounting such traumas, even though Vice is starting to worry.
They thought the contract not being one time would erase just that: pain. All the pains Ikki has already hidden. But it’s starting to change who she is , and it scares Vice.
Ikki lies splayed out in bed. Vice curls up under the covers, grinning big with her mouth. It splits less wide than their own, but good enough.
Soft and comforting. Ikki’s skin is more sensitive than theirs, and her bed fits them better in one body than two. Vice had pouted one night into Ikki letting them out, but somehow talked Ikki into taking the floor.
They felt so bad as Ikki winced her way through the next day. Next time they were out at night, they held Ikki in their arms. She hadn’t looked that peaceful in years.
Hollow smiles. The one Vice wears on her face is very different, but it’s the same feeling. Responsibility and love so mixed together that all that’s left is…
“You need fluffier blankets,” Vice says. “In our colors! Blue like me and pink and purple like both of us!”
“Vice…”
Vice smiles a little less forced at Ikki’s voice.
“There you are,” they say softly. “We don’t have to talk, you know.”
Ikki curls the body smaller, closes her eyes. Vice can tell how hurt and scared she is. Reminds her of when she was curled up, sobbing quietly in this same room, as she realized that her friend’s wish was—
“You’ve been with me,” she says softly. “Always. And I didn’t realize.”
Vice laughs.
“Well, of course,” Vice says. “Little Ikki-Chan was alone and scared, and you needed someone big and strong like me. But then you were just a little one, so you needed someone to say it’s alright to be angry and selfish. I had fun!”
“Did you?” Ikki asks.
“Of course,” Vice says, they hug her body. They wish this was over so they could hold her again. “I love you soooo much. And I wasn’t - I was happy to just be a little part of you. But now I get to be a big part! And I can be me, too!”
Ikki goes silent again. Vice hugs her tighter.
“And you can be you,” Vice says. “Eventually. I love you so much.”
“I know,” Ikki says. “You’re here to protect me, aren’t you?”
“Always,” Vice says.
There are tears in Ikki’s eyes, and she unwraps her arms, hiding her face in her pillow.
“It was probably for the best,” she says. “Vail terrified me. How did you stop him?”
“I just went into your dad,” Vice says. “And I sent Vail somewhere he didn’t want to go. I guess it was the demons driver. Then I went home and I’ve been with you ever since. I’ll always cheer you on, too, Ikki.”
“I know,” Ikki says. “Is it cowardly, if I want to hide in you, now?”
Vice half pouts and half grins.
“Not if I have anything to say!” They exclaim. “Go ahead! I promise not to ruin the bathhouse too bad.”
“ Vice ,” Ikki groans.
“I do!” Vice says. “So please. I’ll hold you.”
“Okay then,” Ikki says softly. “I trust you.”
After that, she stays silent, let’s Vice hold her. Vice figures this is enough, for now. Ikki is hurting from a childhood trauma she was mercifully allowed to forget. Ikki is hurting, at all.
Vice swears. They will make Ikki find the space to love and accept herself. All her flaws and all the things that make her incredible.
Her brash confidence she tries to clamp down, the dedication that destroys her over and over, and the…
Well. That is all for future Vice.
The Vice of now lets Ikki hide until she can breathe. And they pray that one day, Ikki will be ready to speak.