Chapter Text
"Where on earth are they?" Mi-ae muttered as she rubbed her hands together, shivering as she stood outside the restaurant. It was December, which usually meant that Mi-ae travelled back to her hometown to visit her parents for the Christmas break. However, this winter was different. Her parents told her they would visit her in Seoul instead, as they planned to see some friends who lived nearby. On the day her parents arrived in Seoul, Mi-ae arranged to meet up with them at a BBQ restaurant for dinner, the best one she could find to afford. She was finally working full-time and wanted to treat her parents to a dinner paid for by herself. She had even picked up extra work when asked by her colleagues, as most of them were planning to go back home or on trips with their significant other. Unfortunately, she had rushed to get to work today and had forgotten to bring her scarf or gloves. This was a big mistake, Mi-ae realised, as she stood in -5 degrees Celcius weather, teeth rattling as she searched around the parking lot for her parents.
It was all because of her mother's complaints whenever she visited back home. "Why are you still dressed as if you're a teenager? No wonder no one wants to date you, despite all those blind dates I sent you on!" her mother would exclaim in frustration as she threw her clothes, such as her baggy hoodies and scruffy sweatpants, into a plastic bag. Meanwhile, Mi-ae would chuck the same clothes back into her bag, yelling, "Mum!!! I don't always wear these clothes in Seoul!" Luckily, Mi-ae always got her clothes back thanks to her father secretly sneaking them to her, although at the cost of her mother's glares and grumbles throughout her stay.
No, this time would be different. Mi-ae had deliberated over her wardrobe since she knew her parents were visiting her and had picked the perfect outfit to please her mother. She had borrowed a beige sweater from Song-i and paired it with the only decent skirt she owned, which she had only worn one other time for an interview. While she was confident that her outfit would pass the mother code, she was deeply regretting her choices as she dug her hands into her pockets and tried not to twist her legs together like a pretzel for some warmth. If she hadn't been wearing her brown coat and black tights, she would have been frozen by now. She was beginning to wonder if her parents were lost when she heard someone call her name.
"Mi-ae! Over here!" her mother called, waving out of a taxi. Compared to usual, her mother was dressed formally, wearing a coat that Mi-ae only saw her wear on special occasions. Her father followed her out of the taxi, smiling warmly as usual. Mi-ae noticed that his hair was thinner than she last saw him, and his padding jacket looked more worn than usual.
"Mum! Dad!" Mi-ae ran to her parents, hugging them both tightly. "What took you so long? I was about to call you guys. I thought I gave you the wrong directions."
"Oh Mi-ae, the traffic in Seoul is so bad," her mother sighed, holding her hand. "Why are your hands so cold? You didn't wait outside for us, did you?" she crossly remarked, hitting her daughter on the back.
"Ouch, mum! Don't hit me in public, it's embarrassing," Mi-ae laughed, linking her arms around her mother's. "At least wait until we go inside. This restaurant is really good, so you have to eat a lot, okay Dad? I swear you're losing weight each time I see you," Mi-ae pouted, feeling for her father's tummy.
"Mi-ae don't worry, I'm eating well," her dad smiled, patting her head. "Did you make a group booking then?"
"Actually, I asked the Kim's to make the booking since they weren't sure of their numbers," her mum replied before Mi-ae could. "They didn't know whether all of them could make it tonight. Let's go inside before we all freeze to death, the Kim's might already be inside. Mi-ae, how long will you stand there for?" her mother snapped, turning back to see her daughter still standing outside the restaurant as if she were frozen.
"The Kim's?" Mi-ae asked slowly. Kim was a common last name; her mother probably wasn't talking about the family that immediately came to Mi-ae's attention. 'Please, please, please,' Mi-ae prayed, 'please let it not be his.' "Which Kim family?"
"What other Kim family is there? Cheol's family, of course," her mother scoffed, pulling Mi-ae's arm towards the restaurant. "His parents are also visiting Seoul for the moment. Now hurry up, Mi-ae-"
"What!" Mi-ae exclaimed, pulling her arm away. Of course, none of her prayers ever came true. "Mum! Why didn't you tell me we're having dinner with the Kim's?" Since she heard her mother say Cheol's name, there was a burning sensation that she hadn't felt for years, a burning that was bubbling and hissing, setting her insides on fire. An inferno was blazing within her, so much so that she didn't realise it had started snowing.
"Mi-ae, get inside!" Her mother yanked her towards the restaurant entrance where there was shelter, brushing off the snow that had freckled her coat. "And I thought I told you last time we were on the phone. Didn't I tell you that Cheol's parents are staying at Sun-jeong and her husband's home in Seoul?"
Mi-ae was gobsmacked. She couldn't comprehend the information that her mother was sprouting to her at that moment. Sure, she recalled that Sun-jeong had married someone recently, as her mother had started arguing with her about why Mi-ae herself wasn't dating anyone. But when Mi-ae's mother randomly told her that Mrs and Mr Kim were staying at Sun-jeong's new house, she hadn't realised that the new house was in Seoul. She definitely didn't remember being told they were coming to this dinner either, or she would have refused to come. "Mum, is Cheol coming?" she asked quietly, trying to keep her voice calm.
"I believe so, that's what his parents told us the last time we talked. They mentioned something about him being in Seoul right now. That's why we planned this dinner because we haven't seen each other's families for a long-" her mother stopped as she caught sight of her daughter's facial expression. "Mi-ae, you aren't still upset about Cheol moving away, are you?"
Still? Mi-ae was struggling not to recall the memories she had buried in the past, of the tears she wept for countless nights. How long had it taken for her to forget? She felt like she was 15 years old again, a time when the loss was incomparable to anything else she had experienced. But she wasn't 15 years old anymore; ten years had passed since then. She had moved on. She had to show her parents that, to prove to everyone that she had grown up, including herself. So she swallowed her emotions back down and managed a small smile. "No, of course not. I'm just surprised, that's all. Let's go inside," she told her parents, wrapping her arms tightly around them.
*
As they entered the restaurant, the pungent smell of meat and suffocating heat from the grills immediately hit her. 'It's just the change in temperature,' she told herself, her heart thudding. 'That's why I feel sick.' The pounding inside her chest grew louder with each step she took. Mi-ae felt her palms begin to sweat as she looked around, searching for the face she never thought she would see again-
"Over here, Mrs and Mr Hwang! Mi-ae!" Mi-ae caught sight of Sun-jeong beaming at her, standing in front of a door near the back of the room. "We booked a private room since we have a larger group!" Sun-jeong raced up to them, hugging her parents. "You haven't aged, Mr and Mrs Hwang! And Mi-ae," Sun-jeong grabbed Mi-ae's hands, giving her the same cheeky grin she had years ago. "You look great. You're a pretty young woman now!"
"It's really nice to see you again, Sun-jeong," Mi-ae smiled, squeezing her hands. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your wedding last year, I couldn't take time off work."
"Ah, that's alright, you can make it up to me next time," Sun-jeong winked. "Hey, I'm starving. Let's go eat!" Before Mi-ae could brace herself, Sun-jeong pushed her into the room. Perhaps it was because Mi-ae was wearing heeled boots that she usually didn't wear, but she found herself stumbling as she entered the room, tripping over a pair of sneakers lying at the front of the door. She braced herself as she squeezed her eyes closed, ready to hit the floor, when someone grabbed her shoulders, holding her firmly.
"Sun-jeong, when will you learn to control your strength?" a deep, familiar voice sighed. Mi-ae looked up. Kim Cheol was standing in front of her, holding onto her just as he had many times when they were younger. He was even taller than she remembered, and although he wore a long-sleeved shirt, Mi-ae could tell that his build was sturdier. He appeared more mature now, his face slender, his hair slicked upwards. However, the crescent-shaped scar on his right cheekbone looked the same as it had ten years ago, and his long, half-moon eyes were just as beautiful. Mi-ae didn't notice that she hadn't moved until she felt Cheol let go of her shoulders, and he looked away from her.
"Mi-ae, are you alright? Honestly, you'd think my daughter might have grown up once she got married," Mr Kim sighed, but he smiled when he caught sight of Mi-ae. "My, Mi-ae! When did you become a lady?"
"Hello, Mr and Mrs Kim," Mi-ae bowed politely. She hoped nobody could see her hands trembling or her ears flushing- in anger, not anything else, she told herself.
"Well, look at Cheol! How come he looks even taller than when we saw him at Sun-jeong's wedding? He was always handsome but look at him now," Mi-ae's father laughed, patting his back. Cheol also bowed back to Mi-ae's parents, his eyes briefly flickering to Mi-ae before settling back to the table. "My, isn't it nice to be all together? Where's Hwani?"
"Oh, Hwani already had some plans made with her friends since her exams just finished," Mrs Kim told them. "Let's sit down already! We already ordered the meat so we could start cooking when you arrived."
After taking off her own shoes, Mi-ae followed her parents, sitting at the end of the table next to the grill. She hoped Sun-jeong would sit in the empty seat adjacent to her and in front of the grill. However, Sun-jeong sat at the opposite end of the table, between the two parents. "Hey Cheol, you're on grilling duties! I'm going to drink with our parents tonight," she laughed.
Cheol didn't respond to his sister. Instead, he just sat down in the empty seat next to Mi-ae's, opened up the first packet of meat, and placed the first sheets of beef onto the grill. Soon, the room was filled with the sound of sizzling meat and laughter as Mi-ae's parents exchanged stories with Cheol's parents. Only Mi-ae and Cheol stayed silent, both staring at the grill as Cheol turned the meat over, repeating the process a few minutes later, again and again. Mi-ae recalled how the last time she ate here, she had raved to her parents about the delicious meat. When she started eating this time, however, the beef felt rubbery, and she couldn't swallow it properly because her throat was parched, even when she tried drowning it in water or alcohol. So she just kept chewing and chewing, her jaw becoming tensed. Occasionally, she would glance over at Cheol. Mi-ae recalled that Cheol had a ravenous appetite when they were younger, devouring his food as if he would never stop eating. Yet Mi-ae noticed that Cheol spent most of the dinner just grilling, serving the meat to everyone but barely touching his own plate. Perhaps Mi-ae wasn't the only one finding it difficult to eat.
An hour into the dinner and after a few empty bottles of soju, the parents had become tipsy enough to start reminiscing about the past. "You know, I always knew Cheol would grow up into a fine man," Mi-ae's mother commented as she poured herself another glass of soju. "I was so sad when you and your family left for the countryside after you graduated middle school. We all were! Especially Mi-ae," her mother laughed, hugging Mi-ae tightly.
"Mum!" Mi-ae hissed in a whisper, trying to straighten her mother up. "Have you lost your mind?"
"Oh, we were also sad to leave, especially when you made us feel so welcomed," Cheol's mother patted Mi-ae's mother's hand. "But it was Cheol's wish to leave for the countryside as soon as possible. And he managed to rank first in his year, so how could we have said no? That's why we were all so surprised when Cheol told us he would move to Seoul."
At this comment, Mi-ae couldn't help but gape at Cheol, who was still staring down at the grill. "Cheol lives in Seoul?"
"Oh yeah, Cheol's been studying and working in Seoul since he finished his army service," Sun-jeong slurred before having another sip of soju. "I told him you were also in Seoul, but this bastard never listens to me." At this comment, Sun-jeong smacked Cheol's head. Finally, this gained a response from Cheol, who had remained tight-lipped and emotionless since they had sat down for dinner. Mi-ae could see the tip of his ears and nose grow pink as his eyes narrowed, eyebrows scrunching up.
"Sun-jeong. I think you've had enough to drink." Cheol told her slowly, through gritted teeth. If Cheol could feel Mi-ae's glare, he chose to ignore it; his stare fixed on his sister.
"Actually, I think we're all getting drunk," Mr Kim interrupted his children, taking the glass cup away from Sun-jeong. "Sun-jeong, if it's alright with you and your husband, maybe Mi-ae's parents can also come to your house so we can catch up a little longer."
"That should be fine. I'll let my husband know," Sun-jeong replied, yawning. "Hey, Cheol, come out with me while I make a phone call." She suddenly stood up, stumbling to the side. Cheol immediately grabbed her by the arm and scowled at his sister before following her out of the room.
*
Mi-ae was stunned for another time that night. She couldn't believe that Cheol had left the countryside after working so hard to get there. To go back to the countryside, he had left so many things behind; his rebuilt reputation, new friends at school, old friends at the academy… and her. Cheol had left Mi-ae despite all her efforts to make him stay. And after all that, he had come to Seoul without even bothering to contact her? Mi-ae felt herself tense up, her nails digging into her palms. She hated Cheol's effect on her, even after all these years. 'That bastard,' she thought as she dug her nails even deeper into her skin. 'He's just as cowardly as he used to be.'
"I'm going to go to the restroom," Mi-ae told the parents, standing up to leave before she heard them respond. Instead of going to the restroom, she went to the front counter and pulled out her wallet. "Excuse me, could I pay the dinner bill for room 5?"
"Oh, someone else already just paid for that room," the worker told her.
Mi-ae stopped counting the bills in her wallet. "Excuse me?" she stammered. Here she was, freaking out about how much she would be spending on this one dinner, and now she couldn't even pay for it. "But who-"
"Oh, that man over there," the worker pointed outside. The snow had mostly stopped now, only a few flakes fluttering down. Mi-ae could see Cheol was in the middle of a conversation with Sun-jeong. He appeared frustrated, Mi-ae could tell by the way he rubbed his eyebrows and scratched the side of his head. His voice was raised slightly, although Mi-ae was too far away to understand what he was saying.
"Of course," Mi-ae muttered. Maybe it was the few drinks that she had, but Mi-ae suddenly felt a rush of boldness pass through her. Without thinking, she marched out of the restaurant, all the way until she was standing right in front of Cheol, who was in mid-conversation with Sun-jeong.
"-why do I-" Cheol was growling at Sun-jeong when he looked down, catching sight of Mi-ae glaring at him. "What the-" he choked, stepping away from Mi-ae, "-hell?"
"That's what I should be saying," Mi-ae spat at him. She knew she had no valid reason to be mad at him that night, but all the feelings she had buried deep inside her were spilling out of her mouth in a rage. "How dare you show up, from the middle of nowhere, after disappearing for so long. And now you pay for dinner? Do YOU think that's going to solve everything?" she fumed.
"Uh," Cheol blinked at her, taking another step backward. "Are you mad that I paid for dinner? I did it because I wanted to."
"Of course you did, you always do what you want," Mi-ae grumbled. "You always-"
"Hey, hey now, easy there," Sun-jeong stood between them, smiling. "Mi-ae, why don't you just pay Cheol back another time? Oh, looks like our parents are finally out," she pointed behind Mi-ae. "I'm going to take our parents back to my house. Mi-ae, you've had a few drinks, haven't you? Cheol lives close by to you, near the local university. Why don't you be a gentleman and take her home, Cheol," she told him, waving down a nearby taxi driving by.
"Why do you keep butting in," Cheol hissed at his sister. At the same time, Mi-ae adamantly shouted, "Hey, I don't need him to walk me home!"
Sun-jeong turned to the both of them, for the first time appearing serious. "Mi-ae, go with Cheol. Your parents will worry if you go home alone this late. It'll put them to ease if I tell them that Cheol took you home. And Cheol, just listen to me for once," She gave Cheol a mysterious look, before walking to their parents and leading them into the taxi. "Go home safely, you hear me?" she yelled, waving out the window. Then the taxi drove off, leaving Cheol and Mi-ae alone on the street, standing in silence.
It was Cheol who spoke first. "Sun-jeong's right, it's dangerous to go home alone at this time," he muttered. "Especially since it might start snowing again. I'll take you home, let's get a taxi."
"I am not grabbing a taxi with you," Mi-ae glared at him. "Besides, who takes a taxi when we can just take a train?"
"I'll pay for the taxi-"
"I don't care, it's expensive. I'm going to take the train," Mi-ae told him firmly, turning around to walk away. She could hear him calling out her name, but she didn't care, choosing to walk even faster. She didn't get far when she felt someone grab her wrist.
"Hey, I told you to wait for me," Cheol stared down at her, his eyebrows once again furrowed downwards. "Why are you always so stubborn?"
"Me, stubborn?" her eyes widened. The audacity. "Excuse me, Kim Cheol. How can you call me stubborn when you're the most headstrong and difficult person I know!"
Cheol's mouth opened in surprise. "Me? What are you talking about-"
"You!!" She shoved her finger into his chest, stabbing him with each syllable. "You," stab, "are", stab, "the", stab, "worst", stab.
"Is this about how I didn't tell you I was leaving for the countryside?" Cheol asked her, grabbing the arm that was pointing at him. Now he was holding both of her wrists, although he was being gentle. "Mi-ae, I left you a letter."
"A letter?" Mi-ae scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Wow, I feel so honoured, Kim Cheol. A letter really explains everything."
Cheol's hands tightened around her wrists. "You know why I couldn't tell you in person."
"You know what? I don't." Mi-ae firmly told him. "I don't know, and I never will. You had a choice, okay? I thought I meant something to you after all the time we spent together. Did our friendship have no significance to you? Did it mean absolutely nothing?"
"It did mean something," Cheol told her, his dark eyes staring intently at her. "But you know I had to leave, Mi-ae. I had to get away."
"I asked you to stay. I asked you not to leave," Mi-ae was trying to stay calm, but she could tell she was losing control. "I begged you so many times, yet you couldn't even give me a goodbye? And what about what I needed, Cheol? You disappeared when I needed you the most." She looked down. She would not let him see her cry, she mustn't cry, she firmly told herself.
"I know, I'm sorry," Cheol said softly. "Mi-ae. We were… I was just a kid. I couldn't…"
"No, you don't know. You never knew," Mi-ae snapped. "You think I didn't know you would leave one day? How could I have not known, when your eyes were telling me everything, how you were suffocating? That's why I didn't want to ask you to stay, but I had to try at least. So if you knew how I felt back then, you wouldn't have left like that. And why didn't you ever visit me? I know you visited the other boys like Honggyu and Jungwook. But you couldn't even bother to see me? Even now, when we live in the same city, with no excuses, you didn't even try to reach out to me."
"Mi-ae, how could I…" Mi-ae wanted to look away; she didn't want to see the void in Cheol's eyes as he spoke. But he was holding onto her so that she couldn't avoid him, so she had to stare into those eyes, the same sad eyes she saw when she first caught him staring at the moon. Even back then, she knew he wanted to escape. "How could I reach out to you when I knew you hated me? When you didn't want anything from me."
"That's the thing I hate about you the most." Mi-ae had enough. She tried pulling out of his grip, but Cheol was stupidly too strong. Fine. She resorted to hitting his chest instead, curling her hands into fists as she punched him as hard as she could. "You're such a coward. You don't even try to win me over. You just keep assuming, your fears consuming you. You're better than that, why don't you ever think that?" She stopped hitting him, gritting her teeth. "Of course I was upset at you; I was young, and so were you. We were 15 years old, foolish and rash. But we're adults now, Cheol. You could have tried to contact me now." She sighed, relaxing her arms. If he had only reached her earlier, she could have gotten angry at him and would have forgiven him immediately. But so much time had passed since, too long for forgiveness. People said that time could heal wounds. However, it could also grow thorns in twisted minds and harbour mistrust in already broken hearts.
"Cheol, I'm tired," Mi-ae told him, shaking his hands away finally. "I just want to go home, okay? So just leave me alone." She looked at him one last time; Kim Cheol, the boy she used to be friends with, the only boy she cared for. Mi-ae turned around, walking to the train station without turning back once. Even when she reached the train station, she didn't dare look to see if he followed her. She didn't want to find out what would disappoint her more. As Mi-ae boarded the train, she slipped on her earphones and turned on her playlist.
"Why is this song playing?" Mi-ae grumbled as the familiar first few beats of the song played. She wasn't in the mood to listen to this song tonight. Sighing, Mi-ae leaned her head against the train window as she watched the landscape pass by.
'Only the memories linger,
From the days we were together.
Is erasing you
The only way to go on living?
Memories spring up in my mind
From the days we were together
Is sending you away
the only way to go on living?
…
As much as the pain
As much as the exhaustion
I erase you and try to forget
But there you are, still in my mind
I know you are hurting as much as I am
I know you are as tired as I am
Comeback to me
My unforgettable one
Stupidly
I still live for you
Where are you?
I need you so much
Oh baby, my only one
Please stop and come back to me
Just tell me this is a joke
Oh baby, my only one
Please stop and come back now
Just like before,
Simply return to me.'
By the time the song was about to finish, Mi-ae had already gotten off the train as she didn't live far. The street that led from the train station to her apartment complex was dark, as the street lamps were only dimly lit. Sometimes she would wait for Song-i at the train station after work so they could walk back home together in the darkness. The street was eerily empty tonight, yet Mi-ae couldn't shake off the feeling that she wasn't alone. Mi-ae shivered as a chill went down her spine. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"What the-" Mi-ae screamed, swinging her arm out. Her hand slapped Cheol's face, whose eyes widened in surprise. "Oh my god, you creep! Cheol, what the hell are you doing here?"
"I told you I was going to make sure you got home safely," Cheol grumbled, rubbing his cheek.
"Well, what person follows a woman all the way down an empty street? Of course I freaked out," Mi-ae muttered.
"You would have noticed me if you had paid attention. Next time, don't wear your earphones at night when you're alone, it's dangerous," Cheol sighed at her, then winced and touched his cheek again. "God, you really know how to hit someone."
"I didn't mean to hit you, I didn't even know you were still following me. You could have made it more obvious," Mi-ae sighed. Now that the shock of his presence had worn off, she felt a little guilty for smacking him so hard. Even in the dimmed lights, she could see the right side of his face was growing rosy. "Hey, let me have a look at your face properly. Are you okay?" she asked. As if it was natural, she touched the side of his cheek where she could see the sting of her slap. His cheek was hot in contrast to her cold hand. "If you do that again, next time I might hit you harder..." Mi-ae's voice trailed off as she realised her fingers were brushing over the scar on his face. She'd forgotten how Cheol hated anything that acknowledged his scar. She could recall the times when she'd unintentionally touched his scar and how he always had flinched, pushing her away. "I'm so sorry," she panicked, letting go of his face immediately.
Before Mi-ae could pull away her hand completely, Cheol grabbed her hand. Mi-ae stared at him, eyes widening as he slowly pulled her hand toward his face. Then, he cupped her hand into his right cheek, holding her hand firmly against where his scar was. Mi-ae couldn't pull her eyes away from the intense stare that Cheol was giving her as they stood in silence, minutes passing by.
'This is cheating,' Mi-ae thought as she felt her heart pound against her ribcage. The blood was rushing to her ears, making her feel light-headed. 'This is cheating, Kim Cheol.' Out loud, she tried to speak as calmly as possible. "I thought you didn't like your face being touched."
"I.. don't mind if it's you," Cheol said carefully, watching her expression. "And your hand feels nice against my face," he added.
If Mi-ae wasn't already blushing, then she definitely was now. She prayed that if Cheol noticed, he thought it was from the cold breeze that had just blown by. "I uh… I should be getting home," Mi-ae managed to say. "I told Song-i I got out of the train, she's probably up waiting for me at home."
"Oh, yeah." Finally, Cheol let go of her hand, although Mi-ae noticed him hesitating briefly before he did so. "I'll just walk you to the front of your apartment then."
Mi-ae gave an exacerbated sigh. "Yeah, yeah, you do whatever you like. You're already here anyways."
*
They started walking down the street, side by side, silence once again filling the air. It wasn't until they reached the lobby of her apartment that Mi-ae spoke first.
"You know I haven't forgiven you," she told him. "Nothing has changed."
"I know."
"Then what do you want from me?" Mi-ae finally asked the question that had been bothering her. "What are you waiting for, Cheol?"
"Your answer," Cheol replied. "You never replied back to me."
"What?" For a moment, Mi-ae didn't understand what he was talking about. Then she realised Cheol was referring to the letter he'd left on her table before leaving for the countryside. To her, that letter was the only memoir she had of the 15-year-old boy she had treasured. However, it was also like salt to her wounded heart, making her bitter and stung. She'd tried many times to throw away the letter since then, always failing. At some point, Mi-ae realised that discarding the letter was useless. The words were already etched inside her, placing a curse of false hope that haunted her for years. Instead, she had tried to bury the memories of her youth away so she could move on with the present. Now, she painfully recalled back the final words written in the letter.
"I don't know," Mi-ae said quietly. "I don't know yet."
"Then I'll wait for your reply," Cheol told her. "I told you, I'll always wait."
Were his words meant to reassure her? Or were they tools of torture? Mi-ae couldn't stand it any longer; being with Cheol was too much. "I-I've got to go. Goodbye, Cheol."
She turned away from him and walked to the elevator to go up. For a moment, she thought Cheol might follow her again. She almost believed that she would feel his strong hands on her again, his comforting arms wrapped around her into an embrace. But he didn't call for her or hold onto her. She entered the elevator alone, and when the elevator doors shut, he was gone once again.
'What a fool you are, Mi-ae,' she laughed bitterly.
When Mi-ae opened her apartment door, she found Song-i sitting on the couch while reading a book. "Mi-ae, how was dinner with your parents?" she smiled, placing her bookmark and closing her book. "You went to the BBQ restaurant that Jinseop recommended, right?"
"Mm, yeah. Song-i, I'm going to get changed," Mi-ae quickly told her, rushing to her room. She opened her wardrobe, pulling out a worn-out shoebox she'd kept since she was a child. Opening the shoebox, she found her old yellow name badge, photos of her childhood friends on a school trip, and her favourite old comics with torn pages. At the bottom of the box was an envelope with just her name written on it: Hwang Mi-ae. She opened the envelope to pull out the letter. Cheol had written it in pencil, so the writing had faded from the multiple times her fingers had traced the crevices of his words. Her hands trembled as once again she ran her fingers over the last few sentences of the letter.
Mi-ae, wait for me. Can you wait for me until I return back?
The tears that Mi-ae had held back all night finally trickled down her face as she held the letter tightly to her chest. She could no longer contain her feelings.
"Mi-ae, are you alright?" Song-i called out, opening her door to see Mi-ae sobbing on the floor. "Oh, Mi-ae," Song-i said softly, pulling her into an embrace. "Just pour your soul out."
So that night, Mi-ae did. Mi-ae cried, for the young girl who had been waiting for Cheol for so many years—the girl who had lost faith over time because it hurt too much. Mi-ae mourned, because she didn't know if that girl was alive anymore.