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01
It was the first time you went to sleep after you had heard the news. You were able to fall asleep not because you received any reassuring news, but rather because you hadn't slept for two days and nights, and you knew that you needed rest to prepare yourself for the looming battle ahead.
Simply being asleep for a short, you woke up to the sound of the voice you had been yearning to hear for two days. Outside your tent, he was saying, “Thus, please be quiet and let her just rest now..."
You got up and rushed out of the tent, and there was indeed the gentle firstborn. He looked a bit cluttered, but not badly hurt.
"Trahearne! Thank goodness!"
Those words were enough to convey your joy, considering your relationship with him, not very close you know, but for some reason that you couldn’t tell, you went beyond words-- You hugged Trahearne.
Then, you found yourself hugging the air. At the same time, the evil creator of all sylvari seemed to sense your emotion, beginning to whisper in your head with a new tone of persuasion:
Come to me, and you will see him again, stand by his side once more.
02
It was a nap, a brief rest on your way to find the Itzel scouts after you had just helped the Itzel defend their homeland. As you dozed off, you thought you heard the familiar sound of footsteps. You quickly opened your tired eyes and ran towards him.
"Trahearne!" you called out his name. The heavily wounded sylvari turned to you, surprised. He was badly hurt. When you treated His wounds, you remembered the recent battle at the Itzel camp where the dragon's minions arrogantly said, " Your friends are waiting, Commander. And we're having so much fun with them…"
The pain you felt now was stronger than that time, because these wounds were real in your sight, not in your imagination.
"Don't be sad for me, Commander." Trahearne wiped away your tears gently, "look, I managed to escape. The hard time is behind us now. We will stand side by side again, and we will fight back."
...Come to me, come to me. Your dreams can only come true when you are with me.
You opened your eyes, finding no one beside you except for the sounds of Modremoth.
03
This was the night before you set off for the Mordrem prison camp. We will have a tough fight tomorrow! the experienced Tribune of charr told you. You need to rest –- giving things else to us and just sleep! Good night!
You followed the elder's advice but felt like you hadn't slept long. You woke up feeling energized, and the sound of the dragon was weaker. You led your team out and fought along the way. You were well done and very lucky, in the first cell of the prison, you rescued him.
"Trahearne!" You embraced him, tears wetting his chest. Later, you apologized: "I was just too happy to hold back the tear of joy…"
The firstborn returned your hug.
"I understand," he said, "I'm happy too, to see all of you… especially you, Commander."
This time it was Braham who woke you up—time to go.
04
This time, it was in the city of the Exalted. The Exalted are powerful, reliable allies who provide a sense of safety, but you didn’t feel very safe, not just because you were facing an awful enemy.
Eir died just recently and Brahmin was deeply affected by it -- she was his mother. You were also affected, but you buried your feelings deep inside.
It was a truth that everyone would die. You knew the truth and had witnessed how it happened-- Riannoc, the firstborn, sacrificed himself; Siren, your mentor, walked towards the tide of the risen. You knew how easy it is to die. However, when Eir died, it felt different. You couldn't explain your fear until you fell asleep and saw Trahearne walking towards you.
"Trahearne, you're alive! " tears welled in your eyes. This time it was neither the tear of pain nor joy.
"Yes, I escaped, alive, Commander," he sighed, "but Eir…the Tribune has told me… every detail…"
No, the Tribune couldn’t tell him every detail, you thought to yourself. The Tribune couldn’t know that every time you opened a prison cell, you thought of one name with all your heart and soul; The Tribune couldn’t tell him that when you reached the last cell and heard Eir and Faolain 's voices, how disappointed you were.
And when you saw Eir die in front of you… when you found her dead when you were so close, almost there to help her fight off that monster…
At this moment, as you looked at the firstborn beside you, you finally understood your fear came from where-- the possibility of Trahearne's death.
" Now the hard time is behind us…" you said, trying to dispel the fear, because Trahearne was already standing in front of you, and you two were going to fight side by side again, and you wouldn't make him end like…
Or maybe you would. Modremoth chuckled and tore apart your dream, making you face the truth: Trahearne hadn't escaped alive yet.
05
This was the first time you slept since leaving Rata Novus. You didn't find anything that could help you fight against the dragon, you just found a certain conclusion: the Elder Dragons all have unique weaknesses. You couldn’t say you felt no disappointment or despair. However, as you looked back at your friends’ faces, you hide your disappointment and despair. You said, thus, there was hope. You said we were getting closer to defeating Mordremoth, and now we just needed to find out his weakness and then we could kill him. Your tone was firm, no fear, no doubt, and it seemed like you truly believed what you just said…
No, it wasn’t “seemed like”. You truly believed what you just said. You had to believe it. If you didn't believe it, that meant...
Admit it. The dragon spoke to you in your head. You are so weak, you don't even believe you have the possibility to defeat me. Come and join me, your friends are waiting here for you, Trahearne is waiting…
For Trahearne you must believe! You tried to ignore the voice in your head. You had to believe you could defeat this dragon because you wanted to save Trahearne!
This time, you knew it was a dream. You were sitting atop a rooftop in the Grove with the firstborn, watching this beautiful home of all sylvari.
"Trahearne, please stay alive, please wait for me, for I will definitely defeat Mordremoth and rescue you," you said.
The firstborn smiled and nodded. He looked more like the scholar you first met, before he took up Caladbolg, formed the Pact, and became its Marshal.
"I'll be waiting for you," he replied, and this time, he called you by your name instead of Commander.
Maybe because you knew it was a dream, you didn’t cry, didn’t hug him. You kissed him.
And he kissed you.
06
You gazed at the broken Caladbolg in your hands for the first time after those days, those days of pain. The evil creator no longer filled your mind with his whispers, but another sound was there indeed. You were haunted by Trahearne's dying screams. You kept dreaming of that moment: you brought Caladbolg to Trahearne, eagerly waiting for his next instruction. You eagerly wanted to know how to rescue him with this sword, and you thought he would tell you how just like when you were fighting against Zhaitan. You didn't even notice your happiness and anticipation back then, until he shattered them by his next instruction: kill him, with the Caladbolg in your hand.
You couldn't follow his instructions immediately --how could you do? You turned to look at your friends who had fought with you and helped you defeat Mordremoth, hoping that anyone could give you any other way so that Trahearne could be rescued and alive.
No one could. They all silently watched you and the sword in your hand.
The dream made that moment last longer. Mordremoth was struggling, Trahearne was screaming, and you were holding the sword. You didn't follow his instructions. You made his pain last longer.
You never dreamed of things happened next, as if nothing happened then.
But it did happen. The broken Caladbolg lay on your knee.
That dream occurred after you had stored the Caladbolg. It was the first dream you had in those days without Trahearne. You dreamed of sitting atop a rooftop, looking out over the Grove, with the sword that once belonged to the deceased beloved firstborn.
From then on you never dreamed of Trahearne.
(The End)