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Jungkook is mad. He is MAD. He was suppose to wake up early. He is sure he set the alarm yesterday before going to bed but now he is late.He is trying hard to remember why he needed to wake up early but everyone in the dorm is shouting at each other.This is their everyday story someone will occupy the bathroom longer than necessary and everyone one ends up late.Tempers are generally running high in the morning. He walks out of his room hoping no one will notice him. He is in a mood today he knows there is a high chances of him lashing out. He doesn't want that, he just had a talk with Namjoon yesterday. He doesn't want to repeat it. The talk only ended up making him even more frustrated. He thanks his stars when he finds the bathroom empty. He hopes today will be a good day.
He fucked up. He remembers now why he had to wake up early when the teachers stares down at him. He was given an assignment to complete which he already missed the deadline of once and now again he has nothing to submit. He goes to an idol school they are very lenient here still his teacher looks at him with disappointment. He hates it, back home he was never good at school but he hated when teachers were disappointed at him so he used to at-least be punctual in all his work. Now he feels like he just doesn’t have time. They are practising for their comeback he has so much to do in the company he just doesn't have time. Yoongi hyung has told him school is not that important in their line of work still he hates this feeling if only his alarm had rung.
He is hungry. He is extremely hungry. He had to skip lunch at school in-order to finish the assignment and then was late for practice. Their choreographer has just finished teaching them a particularly hard choreography, generally he loves it. He is good at dancing he loves the hard choreo’s because it comes to him with ease. He loves when he is praised especially when Hobi and Jimin praise him but today is just not his day, he just cant seem to get it. He knows why, he is hungry. He knows he just needs to tell everyone that he needs a break to eat but that would extend their practise time. He does not want that, he wants to go home and spend sometime playing video games, that is the only way he feels like he is a 19 year old these days. It the only thing that keeps him sane. He desperately wants it today after the day he has had.
He keeps making mistakes. Why God why???? Can today get any worse. Everyone seems to have mastered it, he just cant get it. He sees all of them looking over at time with concern as well as frustration, there is slight frown on their faces. It irritates him. It’s not like he is doing it on purpose. Jimin looks at him with concern he smiles at him with encouragement. He feels a little better but the next second Hobi decides to speak up. "Why are you so distracted today Jungkook. We have been practising the same choreo for 2 hours now and you keep making mistakes. Please keep your mind focused when we are practising". Something within him snaps at that. He looks at Hobi with venom and spits the first thing that comes to his mind. "Everyday I stay back hours to teach others because half of us cant seem to get it, you don’t say anything to them I make a mistake once and you are all over me. Anyways you are not choreographer to point out my mistakes. He knows he screwed up just by the look on everyone face. Hobi seems like he is extremely angry at him but before he can scolds him Namjoon intervenes saying " I think all of us are extremely tired already, we should head back home". Hobi looks like he wants to refuse but Jimin says something to him which seems to calm him down. Jungkook has not stopped throwing daggers at him. All of them pick their bags and shuffle out. He decides to stay back, now he is determined to perfect the choreo. Jimin an Hobi are last once to walk out and he can hear them whispering. It only serves to make him angrier. He is glad he is alone or else he will explode.He hopes he can calm down a little before he goes back to the dorm.
Jimin comes back. He wants to bang his head to a wall. He is not in a mood to talk. He knows Jimin will not leave him alone now. Jimin waits till the song ends and then shuts down the player. "What is wrong?” Jimin asks. " Nothing, I dont want to talk about it" he replies. "I can understand that but that doesn't mean you can talk rudely to your hyungs" Jimin says. Now jungkook is pissed he turns back looks at Jimin and raises his voice and asks "just because you guys are older doesn't give you all a right to boss me around.I am fucking tired of you all treating me like a punch bag when I have always be respectful to you all. Jimin looks at him surprised like he doesn't understand what he is talking about. “Jungkook, why do you feel like that? you are our maknee. We care a lot about you". Jungkook interrupts him asking " then why is that every-time something like this happens I am always the one who gets lectured. I agree I make mistakes today but others make mistakes everyday and hobi hyung is like its ok we i will teach you later privately. He never looses patience with others but when it comes to me you saw how angry he was when he said that, like I like making mistakes and all of you look at me like i am a disappointment. No one bothered to ask me why I was making mistakes. Do you know i have not eaten anything since morning". Jimin looks sad now "jungkook how would we know that you have not eaten you should have said something i am sure we could have taken a break for you to eat something”.
He knows Jimin is talking to him but all he can hear is white noise. He shouts at Jimin “no one cares for me, all you guys want to do is boss me around, point out my mistakes when you people are no better. I just have to shut up about my feeling because you are all older than me. I hate it". He can see that Jimin is angry now, his hands are fisted. He is looking at him like he can devour him whole. He is known to be scary while angry but that anger has never been directed at him so he is scared. Jimin literally growls "we don't care about you. WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU. Are you serious jungkook? I don’t care for you? Most of the time i feel like that is the only thing i do. Everyone tells me I neglect myself to put you first and not just me we all do it. This has been going on for too long now. I am tired of making excuses for you every time you misbehave. You have not talked to us properly in weeks if we ask you to eat, to sleep, to rest all you do is shut us down rudely. Have you ever thought that we are not responsible for your well being that we are also members of this group just like you. We are not that much older to you. we are also overwhelmed by everything that is happening around us? I am sure you have not, all you think about is how we want to keep finding excuses to correct you. How we don't care for you. You know what why dont we just do that. You think of it anyway, I am not going to take care of you anymore. You are on your own we will see how you will like that".
Jimin storms out and now he is left with the aftermath. He is feeling so many things right now. He is still angry, he thinks he is right but now jimin is angry with him and he doesnt know how he feels about that. He is feeling anxious. He walk out of the practice room to go home. His legs are shaking he knows he wont get any practice done like this. He just starts walking, the whole screen is playing in his head right now. He doesnt know how it got to this point. What exactly Hobi said, he cant even remember it now all he remembers is that feeling of anger that shot through him. To be really honest he has not been feeling himself for days now. He misses home so desperately he has not seen his family in months. He is exhausted with work, practice and school. He is not had a break that he desperately yearns for. He feels he made a wrong decision to join the company. He sees people his age having fun and normal things and he just feels his life is unfair. He knows he wanted to be an idol, no one forced this life on him but he didnt think it was this hard. He doesnt want this. That thought bring him back to Jimin. Jimin has been the only person who has ever been able to calm his mind down. He cuddles Jimin to sleep when he misses home, Jimin babies him like no one else. He loves that feeling, having all of his hyungs attention. He has screwed things up with one person who he needs the most.
Tears start streaming down his face. He doesnt know what to do. The last sentence Jimin spoke keeps playing back in his mind. He cant lose Jimin. That is the last thing he wants but will Jimin even talk to him now, for him to explain his feeling. Will Jimin ignore him now? what will happen when he gets back to the dorm? If Jimin refuses to speak to him he thinks he will die. Why is he breathing so heavily? Is he having a panic attack here on the street? He doesnt recognise the street. Where is he now? omg what will he do now, it is getting dark as well. He takes the phone out of his pocket and goes to his contacts the last person he spoke to was Jimin. He just dials the number. It starts ringing and suddenly he thinks he shouldnt have call him. He cuts the call, Jimin told him he doesnt care about him any more he cant call him. He doesnt want to call anyone else either, all the wants to do is hear Jimin’s voice.
He calls Jimin again. He is desperate now but the phone keeps ringing. Jimin will not pick his call isnt it? He cuts the call again. He wont he able to take it, if Jimin ignores him. He prays to anyone that is listening to make things right, for jimin to give him one chance. He doesnt know what he will do if jimin doesnt pick up. He doesnt want to go back he jimin doesnt want to talk to him. He tries one last time, the moment the phone rings Jimin picks up the call and asks "what are you doing". He is so relieved that he blanks out for a second. He can hear Jimin ask "where are you" all he can say is "i dont know". Jimin seems confused he asks him again" what do you mean you dont know where are you?" His voice chokes up and cracks he says "i dont know". Jimin takes a second when he speaks again he can hear the concern in Jimin’s voice " what do you see around I’ll come and get you". Relief. Relief is what rushes though his system first. Jimin wants he back. Jimin is ready to come and get him. Jimin still cares for him, he tells him “ I will find a taxi and head home.” With relief comes the rain as if the universe is rejoicing with him.
He doesnt really remember what happened after, all he knows is that when he heads out of the taxi Jimin is standing in front of the house completely drenched in rain. He slam dunks him the moment he sees him. Jimin hugs him so tight he is having trouble to breathe. He doesnt mind it at all. He can stay like this forever. He realises in that moment that Jimin’s shoulders are shaking, that he is crying. Jungkook leans back in the hug to see Jimin properly. When he sees him Jimin’s eyes are bloodshot. Jimin speak before he can apologise “ I am so sorry”. Jungkook doesnt allow Jimin to finish that sentence. " I am the one who should be sorry why are you apologising hyung? i am so sorry.” Jimin seems to realise with that they are still out on the street, still getting wet with the pouring rain. Jimin pulls him into the building straight to the elevator and press the rooftop, when jungkook tooks at him Jimin simply says "we need to talk".
Once on the rooftop Jungkook is ready to apologise but Jimin beats him to it again "I am sorry Jungkook. I was so angry at that time that I said those words but i need you to believe me they can never be true. I will always care for you if it’s the last thing i will do. We keep forgetting you are still so young. You need the extra attention and i should have asked you as soon as you came to practice today if you had eaten. I should have put more effort in knowing what was making you lash out at us so often instead of just defending you. I can’t lose you” at that jimin starts crying and all Jungkook can do is hug him tight. "hyung, you were right. It’s not your responsibility to take care of me like a parent no matter how young I am. You yourself are just 2 years older that me. It was not right of me to expect that from you or any other hyungs. I should have told the management that I was exhausted, that I needed a break. I need to start taking care of myself, take my own responsibility but hyung, I want you to promise me something never please hyung never leave me. I can do a lot of things but I dont think I can ever live without you” with that tears stream down his face again but this time they happy tears because Jimin is holding him in this arms and promising him he would never leave him.
They stay there on the rooftop for quite sometime. Jimin orders them food which probably last them a week, all his favourite dishes. Jungkook realises how lucky he is to have someone like Jimin in his life. He decides right there that he going to take care of jimin too from here on onwards. They decide to head down, it’s almost time for the food to arrive. As Jimin open the rooftop door Jungkook calls out his name “Jimin”.
“I love you”.