Chapter Text
The carnival was in full swing when May and Francois found it. The sun was bright overhead sending sparkling reflections bouncing off the fair’s colorful decorations and scattering through the street. The two looked around with bright eyes as they entered the grounds. Immediately, they were met with a swarming crowd of people bustling through the carnival, lining up for food and grabbing maps.
Without thinking, May reached out to grab Francois’ hand so they wouldn’t get separated. Walking briskly, May pulled Francois over to a small stand to grab a map before continuing on, weaving through the people before the pair broke through the crowd and found themselves in a much less crowded area. It was only then that May became self aware again. They glanced at Francois whose face had turned pink, then looked down and saw their hands intertwined. Startled, and suddenly feeling unusually shy, May let go of Francois’ hand and looked away.
Not missing a beat, Francois grabbed May’s hand again. He leaned closer to May, until their faces were inches apart. He just reached past May though, grabbing the map and bringing it open between them. Francois looked at the map which turned out to be mostly ads with only a small portion of the pamphlet actually containing a map. The carnival wasn’t big, but it was sizable enough to contain a good handful of rides, games, vendors, and food. Francois scanned the map pointing out things that looked fun. “What do you want to do?” Francisco asked, turning his head to look at May.
It wasn’t until after he turned his face that he noticed May was looking at him. Consequently, their faces were very very close. Francois quickly turned away, heart racing. May smiled. “Any of it sounds good,” they said.
“Then how about the games?” Francois suggested.
The two haphazardly followed the map until they found the games, a collection of bright colored tents run by a mix of shouting vendors and bored looking teenagers. May and Francois looked around. “That one?” May suggested, pointing to the one nearest to them. “Wait no. That one.” They whirled their hand around to point at a stall with a round, soft looking bunny plush displayed.
Francois smiled. “Your wish is my command,” he said with a flourish.
He walked up to the stall and placed some money on the table. May walked up next to him, looking on with intrigue as the vendor placed three in front of Francois. “One for a small, two for a medium, three for a large,” the vendor said before stepping aside.
Francois took the first dart, took a deep breath, and threw it. It hit a balloon, popping it with a load sound, and embedded itself into the board behind. He threw the second one, which spun through the air and landed on its target as easily as the first. Francois reached for the final dart. He spun it lightly in his hand, closing his eyes for only a moment before throwing it. His aim was true. The dart arched through the air before hitting another balloon.
Francois collected his prize then turned to May. They were smiling brightly, eyes trained on Francois sparkling with joy and something else. Francois held out the stuffed rabbit as one might present a present to their ruler. “I had you underestimated,” May said as they took the bunny and cradled it in their arms. “Who knew you were so talented at this.”
Francois gasped in feigned outrage. “I’ll have you know that I am a man of many talents,” he said. “But this is easy. It’s just about the confidence.”
“Confidence?” May repeated. Then without warning, they leaned in and planted a kiss on Francois’ cheek. He quickly turned a bright pink and looked away. “Don’t be mean,” he mumbled. He turned away quickly and changed the topic. “What game do you want play?”
May allowed themself to be distracted and looked around at the tent. Something caught their eye, and they pointed at a ring toss game. May and Francois walked over to it. "Step right up!” The vendor called out when the pair approached. “Toss the rings to win a prize! Anything the ring lands on is yours!”
May fished some loose bills out of their pocket and handed them to the vendor in exchange for three large rings. They were made of wood, light and worn from use. A few feet behind the stall was a yellow marker which May walked over to. They stood behind it and surveyed the collection of prizes laid out on the stand: small statues, cheep stuffed animals, a vase, and other odds and ends. It was a flower crown that had caught May’s attention.
They took the first ring in their throwing hand, getting as proper a grip on it as they could, and aimed. After a brief moment, May released the ring, tossing it lightly through the air at the prize. The ring spun lightly as it flew before it landed, clattering on the table, just to the right of the prize. Unfazed, May took the next ring and tossed it. This time, it flew through the air before landing lightly on the flower crown. As May smiled in delight, Francois cheered next to them, laughing in a way that May found so endearing it made them smile even more.
Having completed their goal, May decided to just have fun with the last ring and take a wild shot. With a shrug and a smile, May took the last ring into their hands and closed their eyes. “What are you- Oh no-“Francois said as May, with their eyes still closed, began to spin in a circle. After completing what May estimated to be two full spins, they released the ring. It was hurled wildly off target, but perfectly on course to hit someone in the face. “Oops,” May said upon opening their eyes. Francois let out an exclamation of alarm.
In a sudden burst of movement, Francois jumped in the way of the ring, getting there just in time for it to catch on his arm instead of the head of a stranger. Shaking is head with both endearment and exasperation, Francois apologized to the stranger who was almost hit before bringing the ring back to the vendor. As May collected the flower crown they had won, they leaned in to whisper to Francois. “Does this mean you’re mine?”
“I’ve already been yours,” he said in return.
May’s smile was bright as they turned to Francois. Both of their hearts were doing strange things as they looked at each other. May took their flower crown and placed it and Francois’ head. Gently, they straightened it and brushed loose curls away from his face. And “And I’m yours,” May said.
They stood there, looking at each other like they were the only people in the entire world. They glowed in the midday sun, May looking like a lost as their shimmering clothes sparkled and the circle of golden leaves on their head looking like a halo. Francois was a prince, complete with a crown of flowers and a beautiful heart worn on his sleeve.
A few moments past before the two of them realized that they were just standing there, and they suddenly felt bashful. “Uhm… Well… is there anything else… what should we do next?” Francois stuttered through the question.
May only looked around for a moment before pointing at the attraction that stood out the most. “That thing,” they decided.
“Oh! The Ferris Wheel?” Francois said. The Ferris Wheel wasn’t the most impressive one in existence, but May had never seen a Ferris Wheel before and was very interested. It towered over everything else in the carnival. Even though the sun was still bright, the colorful lights still flashed rainbows over the metal workings of the ride.
“Yes that.” May said as the couple began walking towards it, weaving between both people and tents. Then, after a moment, they added, “Is it scary? Being that high?”
Francois laughed lightly, but not unkindly. “Are you scared of heights?”
“No.” May said quickly. “Yes. Maybe? I don’t know.”
Francois took May’s hand. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m here.”
“I’m not worried!” May said, but he didn’t let go of Francois’ hand.
They finally arrived at the Ferris Wheel and joined the short queue. May watched the Ferris Wheel spin in wonder as Francois watched May. They didn’t say anything as they waited, just enjoyed each other’s company. It was in their silence that the presence and conversation of the group of boys in front of them became apparent. “I met a gay guy once,” one of them was saying. “It was… weird.”
Francois’ eyes widened slightly as they continued talking. “It must feel weird. How do you know they’re not just crushing on you the entire time?” A different one said.
Francois let go of May’s hand, squeezing his own hand into a fist. He had a strong desire to punch the entire group, a feeling he wasn’t used to having. It sent a shock through him, and he looked down at his clenched hand to see that it was shaking. As he looked down, he noticed May’s hand twitching open and close and their side. He looked up to meet May’s eyes and saw his mistake in the lost look on their face. In a rush, Francois took May’s hand. Not breaking eye with them, Francois softly squeezes May’s hand. There was a beat during which Francois’ breath caught in his throat and he thought for a second that he might never breathe again. Then May squeeze his hand back and everything was okay again.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking,” Francois murmured.
“It’s fine. I get it,” May said with a soft smile. They squeezed Francois’ hand again, this time with more certainty. “Really.”
Francois let out a slow breath and smiled. They were there for each other and that was all that mattered, homophobic assholes be damned.
Thankfully, the line moved along and the group in front of them boarded the ride. May and Francois were next in line then. “I bet you can see the entire city from up there,” May said as the pair stepped up to the platform.
“I guess we’ll find out,” Francois replied.
The ride slowed to a stop. The cart at the bottom was emptied, and the staff ushered May and Francois into it. The cart was small and round. A plastic bench lined the inside of the cart except for where the door was. The cart was open to the air but had an overhead plastic covering shaped like an umbrella. Francois and May slid onto the plastic bench, sitting across from each other. The cart rocked gently as the doors closed, and soon the ride began.
The two stared out the windows as the cat began to move up and around. “Wow,” May breathed. They were quickly higher than all of the tents, rising over the buildings. “Wow,” Francois echoed softly. They were still rising, Paris spread out below them, and even though they weren’t really that high, they felt impossibly distant from everything like they were on the top of the world and they were the only two people who mattered in the entire world.
Then they had reached the top. As the decent began, there was a moment where they felt like they were floating even though they never lifted from the bench. Down and around, then they were going back up again. As captivating as the view of the city was, Francois found his gaze drifting away from it. His eyes found May as easily as a compass finds the north, drawn to the soft upturn of their smiling mouth, the sparkle in their eyes, the way they cradled the stuffed rabbit in their arms. Francois’ entire being was drawn completely to May, enamored, starstruck, in love.
Francois didn’t realize he was staring until the ride was slowing to a stop. But they weren’t at the bottom of the ride to be let out. They were stopped at the top. “Why did we stop?” May asked, tearing their eyes away from the city to look at Francois who was quickly trying to make himself look busy.
“They’re probably letting people out,” Francois said.
The ride wasn’t moving when the cart started shaking. Francois watched in horror as May began to scoot along the bench, sending the cart into a gentle sway and Francois into a mild panic. “What are you doing?” Francois said in alarm, holding onto the bench so tightly that his knuckles were turning white “Stop moving!”
May smiled, but didn’t stop. “Stop worrying,” they replied. They moved along until they were sitting right next to Francois. Francois sat very still as May slowly leaned against him, resting their head on Francois’ shoulder. It took Francois several moments before he was able to breathe again. May was very still, obviously holding back, daring only to put a fraction of of their weight onto Francois’ shoulders. Slowly, Francois reached up a hand and settled it on May’s head, gently brushing their hair. Just like that they relaxed into a quiet calm. The cart was still rocking lightly. Francois thought that he could live in this moment forever and never get tired of it.
Soon, the ride began to move again. May slowly sat upright and turned their head to look out at the city again. They looked ethereal. The wind played with their hair. Honestly, Francois wouldn’t be surprised if wings sprouted out of their back revealing May to be a fairy from another world. May leaned their head back, the wind rushing past faster outside the cart than inside. “This is fun,” May said.
“Yeah,” Francois agreed. “I’m glad we came.”
Suddenly, there was a powerful gust of wind that swept by. May’s golden crown slipped from their head and into the open sky. With a gasp, Francois made a wild grab for it, sending the cart in a wild swing and he threw off the balance, but the crown was just beyond his reach as it fell down into the street below. May stared down, a look of shock on their face.
Francois took their hand. “We’ll find it. Don’t worry,” he said.
May was visibly panicked by the time they were let off the ride. Their carefree attitude from early had given way so quickly that Francois was still reeling from the whiplash.
The pair exited the ride in a rush. Francois followed May feeling slightly lost as they walked in several circles around the Ferris Wheel. As they went, May’s eyes scanned the ground, benches, spaces that were impossibly small for the crown to have possibly fallen into, and even rooftops. Francois scanned May’s back, noticing the way they quivered and heaved in too fast, panicked breathing.
Sometime in the middle of the fourth circle around the Ferris Wheel Francois grabbed May’s wrist, pulling them to a stop. May whirled on him. “What are you doing? Let go,” they said.
May tried to pull away, but, although Francois wasn’t the strongest person, he held steadfast. He shook his head. “May,” he said softly. May continued to flare at him. “May,” he repeated. “Take a deep breath. You’re panicking and hyperventilating. Nothing is going to be solved this way.”
May paused. Then they took a deep breath. “Okay,” they said. They took another deep breath.
Francois gently let go of May’s wrist. “Okay,” Francois echoed. “It’s been a little while since it fell, so let’s check the lost and found.”
May blinked at Francois. “The what?” They asked.
“It’s- Well, I’ll just show you,” Francois said. “Come on.”
Francois and May found their way to the front of carnival where there was a help desk. More accurately, there was a white tent with a plastic white table, a handful of very full looking cardboard boxes, and a middle aged woman staring blankly into the distance. The sign above the tent read “Help Center.” The pair walked up to the counter. “Excuse me,” Francois said. When the woman in the tent didn’t reply, Francois repeated himself.
The woman shook herself out of her stupor. “Yes?” She said. “How can I help you?”
“We recently lost a crown and we’re wondering if someone turned it into the lost and found. It’s gold and shaped like a wreath,” Francois said.
The woman thought for a moment. “I don’t remember seeing anything like that, but if we have it, it’ll be in one of these boxes,” the woman said, gesturing to the cardboard boxes in front of her.
Francois gave a tight smile. “Thanks,” he said. He turned to May. “Do you want to look?” He asked.
May nodded and pulled one of the boxes closer to them. Francois did the same, and the two of them began going through the items in the boxes. As they did, Francois periodically sent worried glances towards May. They seemed to be doing better now as they got into the steady rhythm of looking through the lost and found, but Francois couldn’t help but be worried. He had never seen May this vulnerable before. They had opened their hearts to each other and had been honest with each other allowing themselves to be seen for exactly who they are, but this was different. May seemed vulnerable in a different way, lost, unsure, like they felt unsafe in their own skin. Francois hated to see May like that. He would do anything to take their pain from them. So, he continued rummaging through the box, doing the best he could to support May.
They kept up their search, working through the boxes until they had gone through everything. There was no sign of the crown. With a sigh, May began to walk away. “Did you find what you were looking for?” the lady at the desk asked uselessly.
May looked back at her, not quite managing a smile. “No, but thank you anyways,” they said.
The woman replied, “Of course, miss.”
“Oh I’m not-“ May began before changing their mind. “Never mind.”
Francois caught up to May and walked beside them, letting them take the lead. “What do you need?” he asked softly as the two walked seemingly having no clear destination. “What can I do to help you feel better?”
“I’m… not sure,” May said hesitantly.
“Then let’s just walk around for a little while,” Francois suggested.
May agreed easily, so they began to walk together. They didn’t get very far before May stopped. They had wandered upon a bathroom and May said, “I’m going to run to the bathroom really quick.”
“Okay,” Francois said. “I’ll wait here.”
May left and Francois sat on a bench to wait. It hadn’t been long before a voice called out to him. “Francois!” a girl with bright colored clothes and baubles in her hair shouted, walking over.
“Claire,” Francois said, startled.
Claire smiled and slid onto the bench next to Francois. “Fancy seeing you here,” she said with a sly smile. “I haven’t seen you lately.”
“Well you know, I’ve been busy,” Francois said with an awkward laugh, feeling that Claire was a little too close for comfort and wondering how he could move away without being rude.
“I get it,” she said with a shrug. She scooted a little closer to Francois. “But since we ran into each other like this, do you want to walk around the carnival together?”
She placed her hand on his arm. Francois began moving to remove her hand and said, “Actually-“
Before he could finish speaking, hand came from no where and grabbed onto Claire’s wrist, yanking her hand away from Francois. Francois turned around to see May, eyes burning with anger. The stuffed bunny in their hands was getting squeezed to death. “What are you doing?” they asked, voice sharp.
Claire didn’t respond to May’s question, only eyed them with judgment clear in her expression. “And you are?” Claire asked, her tone suggesting that she didn’t actually care that much.
“His lover,” May replied. Under different circumstances, Francois would have blushed a bright pink, but May’s voice was laced with such venom that Francois didn’t know what to do.
Claire looked from Francois, to May, and then back to Francois again. “I didn’t know you were gay, Francois,” she said finally. “Unless…”
Francois felt very uncomfortable. “Well- You see- I’m- They’re-“ Francois stuttered.
“It’s really none of your business,” May said.
They finally dropped Claire’s wrist which had been caught in a death grip. “Let’s go,” they said to Francois, glaring at him.
May walked off, not looking behind them to see if Francois was following. Francois jumped off the bench and hurried after May who was walking about as fast as it was humanly possible to walk without running. “May-“ Francois began, but May interrupted him.
“Don’t,” they said, voice cracking just a little. “Let’s just go.”
They found their way back to Francois’ house. May was staying there for the time being (though Francois secretly wished they would stay forever) because it was more convenient. So they each had their own space, they had their own rooms, although they often ended up sleeping in the same bed anyways. As soon as the door was open, May stalked straight to their room, closing the door behind them none too softly.
Francois closed the front door, kicked off his shoes, and walked quietly to May’s room. He knocked softly. “May?” He called.
There was silence for a moment, then May replied, “Leave me alone. I need a second to breathe.”
Something in May’s voice broke Francois. Heart aching, he slid to the floor and leaned his head against May’s door. “Oh shit,” he said he said so softly he was barely able to hear his own voice.