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"Hey… are you okay? You look so pale” Her roommate saw her walking by kitchen with her hand massaging her temple with sweats dripping down to the side of her face and not to mention her face turned white as a ghost. “Yeah, I’m fine I’m just tired from doing all the work, new projects, questionnaire for the new recruits and guideline for the upcoming new department” She sighs heavily before closing the door and locking herself for the whole entire day.
All she had was leftover pie and cold coffee from the day before because she was so busy catching the dead line or in a simpler way to explain, she decided to distract her mind from the pain of rejection by starving herself and pretending to be busy so she doesn’t have time to think about the heartbreaker. She is indeed hungry, so hungry she started to sip her own dead split ends while her fingers tapping the keyboard so fast trying to finish others’ job because she finished hers. From time to time she would peek at her phone screen just in case he’d text her back but as expected he haven’t replied to any of her messages since the day he rejected her except for that one night when he went out to drink with their colleagues and texted her saying, “I just want you for me because no one ever understood me like you do. I want you just for me forever” That night her pillow was no longer cold but soaked in warm tears.
“You are so pretty I wish you could be my girlfriend…” She spitted her coffee when she heard that phrase coming out of Nanami’s mouth while they were in the pantry. “Haha, I’m sorry if it was too sudden but you are so gorgeous, you had everything figured out in life and you are pretty chill over everything, you are literally my type” She blushed hearing compliments from her crush. She had feelings for Nanami ever since she laid eyes on him, he was so charismatic, tall, in shorts, Nanami is just so Lana Del Rey coded to her eyes. “Thank you..,” That was all she could reply to the limitless compliments from him. “Come on, we should get back to my office and settle all the summary for this month so we don’t have to do it next week,” He held out his hand waiting for her to take and being the hopeless romantic she is, she took it with full of hesitations.
Ever since the day they held hands, everything looked much more colourful in her eyes. Flowers are blooming, rivers are flowing, strawberries tastes so sweet and the weather are always so fine. “Here’s your coffee!,” Each morning without missing a day she would buy a cup of coffee for him so she could get just a little compliment from him. “Thank you beautiful” “you are so sweet my sweetheart” “you are being so lovely” She loves it so much when he said those words to her but sadly he never meant any of it and it was just all some empty phrases to his mouth but a meaningful one to her. She hated coffee, hated it so much even the smell of it could make her go dizzy but for him she would die from brain injury by smelling so much caffeine just so she could get some meaningless validations from him. “It’s just a coffee and you’re welcome!,” She replied to his validation that she craved so much with blushed cheeks and butterflies in her stomach.
“Oh no… you look so sick. Are you really okay?,” The same roommate found her early in the morning fixing her hair in front of the mirror by the shoerack before she went to work. “I’m fine just a little tired, I’ll be going now see you tonight,” She waved her hand to her roommate while wearing her heels before leaving the house with wobbly legs looking like a drunkard early in the morning. Her roommate was clearly worried for her and waited by the door until she was gone inside the elevator. She was in fact so unwell, she hadn't eat properly for more than a week, she only slept 6 hours a day and gets nightmare some nights as well and her anxiety didn't make anything better as she kept shaking, cold sweats and heart beating rapidly felt like as if she was about to die. “Good morning, sir,” She greeted Nanami every morning once she’s arrived at the workplace out of habit and respect. “Good morning beautiful,” Her ears perked when she heard him compliment her but now all she felt was disgust, the butterflies in her stomach has died, the flowers are all wilted and the river is now frozen. “I’ll be in my desk if you need anything,” She replied before sitting down on her desk, turned on her computer and right before she could start her shift for the day she fainted on desk, hitting her forehead on the desk before falling on the floor.
“I like you Nanami! Please date me!,” It was 2 in the morning, it was their second bar for the night celebrating a retirement of their boss. She was intoxicated and so did he but he was just as sober too. “But I…I don’t like you, you’re just my colleague and nothing more. You deserve someone better, trust me. You’re so pretty, smart, tall and so confident. You could pull anybody just by breathing,” His hand buried deep into her thick, long hair as he caressed her head while the other patting her other arm. “But the way you…tch, never mind, I’m sorry,” Her wobbly legs aren’t much stronger in heels as she tried to made her way walking up the hill after meeting him behind the bar. He just watched her from behind as she stumbled across almost everything that was on her way as her visions were still blurry from all the alcohol she just consumed, “You should try to be more careful!,” He grabbed her waist as she almost fell down from stumbling upon some boxes that laid by the street. “Let me go, you jerk! Treating me like I’m something but in the end I am just nothing to you!,” She pushed him away aggressively with tears streaming down her flushed and intoxicated face. “You’re just so mean! Men are so mean! All of you deserve to be killed brutally by Ghost just like in Call of Duty!,” She was yelling at this point, yelling to the sky at least as she was walking the street further away from him and yet he just watched her from behind before sighing and went back inside the bar.
“You’re awake beauty?,” You slowly pulled your hand from his as you woke up from something that made you felt like you just woke up from a thousand years nap. “Why am I in the hospital?,” She asked while pressing the ‘help’ button so the nurses and doctor could come running and checked up on her. “Sir, could you please leave for a moment? We would to check on this patient for a while, thank you,” Said one of the nurses that had a teddy bear keychain hanging out of her pocket. “How long has been here?,” “Who? Your boyfriend? He was the one who rushed you here, holding you in his arms yelling for our help, it was like in a drama..,” The nurse replied while checking for her blood pressure and oxygen level. “He isn’t my boyfriend…far from being one,” Her eyes dropped looking at her fidgety fingers that rested on the blanket that covered most part of her lower body. “Really? But he addressed himself to us as your boyfriend…?,” A moment of awkward silent occurred as both of them had nothing to say. The nurse was waiting for her answer but she was waiting for the nurse’s further explanation. “Never mind, so do you want to know why you’re here? You are extremely malnutrition, stressed and depressed too. I believe you have anxiety too? Have you received any medical treatment for that?,” She answered the nurse’s questions truthfully meanwhile Nanami was waiting outside the door eavesdropping their conversation. A group of nurses left her room and he was back inside even without being invited.
“You should go home Nanami, it’s 6:30pm. You hate overtime, don’t you?,” She rolled her eyes as she pulled the blanket over her body laying down facing the other way so she didn't have to see him. “I was worried about you… I called your multiple times but you didn't answer which is bizzare because you’d be running if I called you so I went to your desk and I saw you laying on the ground so I brought you here. The doctor told me everything and I just want to ask you something… is it my fault?” There were so much sincerity in his voice as he asked her while sitting by the edge of her hospital bed. “What makes you think that this is your fault?” His eyes widened hearing her question. He was expecting an answer from her but she gave him another question instead. “Ever since that party you were being so distant…you stopped buying me coffee too. You no longer blushed when I compliment you but yet I kept doing so. Why are you like this? Is it my fault beauty?,” Only sniffling sounds echoed around the room coming from her as she was crying her eyes out soaking the hospital’s bed.
“It is…” She replied shortly in between her sobs. “How so?,”
“You called me pretty. You told me the only woman that understands you is me and if you had a chance you would marry me! Those things are only valid to be said by someone who is called ‘Boyfriend’! And you are far from being one!! You’re the one who told me that I deserve someone much better than you and I DO! I don’t need a jerk like you in my life at all and now please leave,” She sat up on her bed facing his face with tears streaming down her face soaking her blanketed thighs slightly raising her voice with desperation and despair in her stern voice. Her breathes hitched from time to time stopping herself from crying with her eyes watching him leaving her room ever so slowly. Later that night, the nurses that worked on the night shift were being spooked by her sobbing the entire night until one of them went to checked up on her and turned out it was just her crying over him again like any other nights and there weren’t any ghosts as what they expected it to be.
“Nanami, what I am to you?,” It was a sunny weekend and he invited her for a picnic at the park, just the two of you and no other colleagues. “More than a friend? Then what am I to you?,” He asked putting his arm around her shoulders with his other hand occupied with an ice cream while the teo of you watching the sunset views. “I guess…you’re my best friend?,” She answered hesitantly before laughing her way out of the awkward situation. ‘I LOVE YOU NANAMI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU MADE ME FEEL SO SPECIAL AND I REALLY WANT TO SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE WITH YOU!’ That was what her brain told her to told him but she sealed her mouth shut as he watched Nanami changing his position from sitting next to her to laying his head on her laps. “You look so pretty from down here…,” He reached for her jaw before caressing the side of her face before pulling her head closer to him before giving her a sweet kiss on her lips. “Nanami… we shouldn't be doing this,” She whispered as their lips parted just a few centimetres away. “Why not? We are more than friends remember?,” He took her lips on his and give her a much more passionate kisses and there goes her first kiss, stolen by him.