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Katashi stood still, eyes wide. A small, shaky gasp escaped from his parted lips. His eyes were locked onto a pair, draped in the handmade scarf he’d given his crush.
It was for but a moment, but the scene had already burned itself into his mind. Renjirou, leaned down, lips locked with a girl.
He felt his neck, feeling something odd. He wiped his face with a quick dab of his hand, only to land on his face, then his eyes. He hastily wiped his face, all while walking off with his head down.
He wobbled out of the school, onto the deserted road he had always frequented. His stomach was in knots; he retched onto the downtrodden asphalt road. Standing up from all fours, he wiped his mouth and wobbled on, eventually arriving at the isolated beach, the sky had already turned a rich, marigold hue.
Though frequented, he’d never visited the far side of the beach.
After snorting back some snot and tears, he continued on. Memories of back then started flooding his mind as he sped up his pace, eventually breaking into a run.
Eventually, his mind, too, ran.
“Akasegi-san, you speak of Sunato-san with such high praise. Be honest; do you like him, or are you in love with him?”
“No, it’s just I—I…
…He makes me feel safe. Like no man in my life ever had.”
‘When did I fall?’ He thought—
“Ren-kun! WAKE UP, Miss Kanata’s angry!”
When he reached out—
“Renjirou-san, have you done that English assignment yet?”
“Nope, haven’t done it.”
“Oh okay. Let me help you with that. I’m good at it after all. Tehe～”
“No, it’s okay—”
“I haven’t done mine, so I thought it’d be nice to do it together.”
Reality hit him, fatigue as heavy as his heart.
Katashi’s breathing became ragged as he continued to sprint across the beach. His tears had become full-blown crying as tears slowly stained his uniform.
The beach, bathed in twilight, had become smoother. Katashi’s shoes sunk into the sand every step, slowing his sprint down into a jog. Eventually, he fell, face planting into the sand; his glasses digging into his face.
He sobbed and sobbed.
He raised his head, and wailed as memories flooded his mind once more.
“Ren-san! You just got done working out?”
“Yeah, sorry. Gonna take a quick bath then let’s start the project…
But you’re gonna have to wait. You okay with that?”
“I’m fine. I’ll start now so we get a headstart.”
“Alright. Just tell me if my siblings try anything with you.”
He hoped, and tried—
“Ren-chan! Wake up, Miss Kanata’s angry～”
“Nngh, ah…”
“Ahh, you’re so cute! Come on, come on～ Wake up～～～”
More tears fell; he wished.
“I noticed you sleep a lot, so…
I crocheted you a scarf.”
“...Ah…”
“Happy 17th Birthday Mr. Cutie Sleepyhead!”
“...Thanks. Thanks a lot, Katashi.”
…but alas, reality was cruel.
“I thought they were just good friends…! No, I—I…”
“I set myself up for this…” He retched and sobbed, his stomach twisting in manners he’d never once felt.
The waves crashed onto the shore, washing away the sobs and tears Katashi shed. He’d sat himself down from his knelt down form, and gazed upon the moon in the sky. The night was still to come, but stars had already littered the sky and lit his tear-stained face.
“Why? I’d already come to terms with it…!” he cried in between sobs. His hands drew lines in the sand, throwing handfuls of it at the ocean. His hands turned on his satchel next; he pounded it with his fists while tears streamed down his face.
“All I wanted was to be loved!” The twisting had spread from his stomach up to his throat—like he’s being choked from inside out.
He snorted and looked at the sky; the orange clouds had started to shift to pink; the darkness, seeping into the horizon, reminiscent of the wolf’s tired and deep, blue eyes.
His face had become a waterfall of tears, his mind wandering back to those moments of vulnerability he’d shared with the wolf man.
“Please, just, please…Even acknowledging my love would be enough…”
After his loud sobs calmed down, he laid down on the sand, using his thoroughly abused satchel as a pillow atop a rock. Hours passed as he watched in silence, only the sound of the crashing waves and his breathing accompanied him.
Tears still flowed down his face, “I guess, I really did set myself up for this…” he whispered to himself before closing his eyes.
Katashi soon fell asleep; the stars, his witnesses; the moon, the solemn solace sought; and the waves, washing away all anguish, deeper into the night.
And deep into the night, the Akasegi family filed a missing person report. Though his classmates were questioned, nothing but one statement was made in common: he was seen limping out of the school. As a first choice, they searched the isolated beach, at the behest of his mother.
The morning sun penetrated the sky, seeping through the clouds that obscured its light. The police, after hours of on-foot searching, had finally found the missing boy, lying asleep on the far side of the isolated beach.
The news came faster to his classmates than he did, but after a week, he, too, had come back.
“Katashi. Are you fine? We missed you.” Renjirou gently pulled the fawn into a deep hug, burying his sullen face into his chest.
Katashi shakily reciprocated, arms weakly wrapping around the wolf’s torso.
“I’m sorry…” he muttered under his breath, a single tear falling once more.
He felt himself die inside. His heartbeat hastened and cheeks flushed redder than blood.
He hugged the wolf tighter, and buried himself between his chest.