Work Text:
I will bring you ruin
Jaskier hates Yennefer of Vengerberg. Hates her. With a scalding hot passion.
Except when he doesn't. When she's funny at someone else's expense. Even sometimes when she's funny at Jaskier's expense. (Which is often, and it's especially infuriating when she makes him laugh at himself, so fuck that, that makes him hate her more, actually.)
She's just... completely maddening. And, all right, yes, a little captivating. And terrifying.
(It's a minor miracle he's yet to blurt out 'Step on me' when she's been particularly scary, which is frightening as hell because he's fairly sure there's a chance she'd turn him into a louse and squash him. She probably wouldn't, she's probably too fond of Geralt to do that to Geralt's bard, she may even, occasionally, come within spitting distance of not hating Jaskier, but it's still too much of a possibility for him to be comfortable risking.
And if she didn't deliberately misinterpret it that way, well, he would've just propositioned her, which doesn't carry any longer of a life expectancy. He does his very best not to even think of such things if he knows she's around, because he's quite attached to his genitals and would like to keep it that way. He wouldn't be at all surprised to find out she likes rummaging around in his brain, or that he's just as loud mentally as he is vocally and would give her things to overhear she might gut him for.)
He does his best not to notice the things they have in common, not think about the expression on her face sometimes when she looks at Geralt, as if she does actually deeply care for him but can't entirely work out why. If he had things in common with Yennefer, he might have to actually have some fellow feeling for her, and it's so much easier to hate her when she's everything he's not, when she's the all powerful sorceress who never met a problem she couldn't maim or kill.
(He absolutely refuses to think about those old scars on her wrists, refuses to see Yennefer of Vengerberg as someone whose heart could break. He will not dwell on the pain in her eyes sometimes.)
It's much easier to snipe and argue and bitch, to treat her as an imposition. Easier to behave as if it's her fault that Geralt still hasn't fallen in love with him (which, honestly, rude), and ignore Geralt not falling in love with him for many years before they met her.
Sometimes, late at night when he's had a bad day and can't make himself shut up, he finds himself imagining meeting Yen under different circumstances. Not that they would ever have been friends, of course, but... well, she is funny, when she wants to be; when they've both had a bit too much to drink, they sometimes accidentally forget how much they hate each other, and then she can even be fun.
Once, she turned up at a midsummer festival he'd left Geralt to attend, and he'd been vehement and loud in his disappointment at seeing her there, but it turns out that Yennefer and too much wine is an enjoyable way to spend an evening. Every time it's happened since, he swears it's the last time, no matter how entertaining it is to drink and judge other people's facial hair and lack of fashion sense with her. When Yennefer's acerbic wit is aimed at others, she can be- well- no, not good company, but she's... something. Someone Jaskier could like if he didn't hate her so much.
But he does, so his brain can shut the fuck up. None of it matters, he won't feel bad for her when Geralt's being particularly obtuse, he won't notice when she looks sad or lonely or as if she wishes she could run away from her life. He won't empathise or sympathise or wish he knew what to say to make things better.
He absolutely cannot, for the sake of his sanity, ever let her be human.
~ fin ~