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For love may come and tap you on the shoulder
Some starless night
And just in case you feel you wanna hold her
You'll have a pocketful of starlight
— "Catch A Falling Star," Perry Como
Utahime hated mornings.
Mornings meant the reluctant ascent from her memory foam mattress, trudging to the bathroom to get ready like a zombie come alive. Mornings meant another day of work, training tumultuous teenagers whom she dearly loved, but also couldn’t stand. And mornings also meant that Yuki would only be a trace of perfume on the other side of her bed, gone with the wind on her motorbike on another personal mission.
(If there was one thing Utahime knew about Tsukumo Yuki, it was that she truly was a star—bursting into the night, then disappearing in the daytime.)
This morning was no exception. Rolling over, Utahime’s hand grazed the area left to her, feeling nothing but the red silk of her sheets. They were cool to the touch, far from the overwhelming warmth of Yuki’s body pressed against hers when they slept.
A sigh escaped her lips as she jolted out of bed, heading to their kitchen, which smelled like burnt bread.
Goddamn it, Yuki, not again.
There was a plate of pancakes awaiting her at the dinner table, half-charred with fruits assembled into a lopsided smile that transferred onto Utahime’s face. She sat down and shook her head at her girlfriend’s millionth attempt to perfect breakfast.
She picked up a hot pink sticky note on the side that read: Princess—these aren’t as bad as last time, they’ve got some fluff to them! Promise they’re not as salty. Love, Yuki.
Utahime cringed as she cut a piece and stuffed it in her mouth, anticipating the worst.
(They were, in fact, as salty as the last attempt, but she ate them anyway, downing a cup of hot tea to cleanse her palate. She made a mental note to give Yuki her criticisms later.)
The clock on the microwave read exactly 8:15 AM. School didn’t start for another half hour, and she was lucky enough that their apartment was nearby, so there was ample time to prepare—just the way she liked it.
After a hot shower, vocal warm-ups, and the careful process of putting on her miko outfit, Utahime headed for school, and the rest of the day became another blur of mundanity.
Between demonstrating her cursed technique to her students, guiding them and watching over them to make sure they didn’t kill each other, Utahime could only think of where Yuki was as she went about her educator duties.
Let’s see: at this point, she’s probably asked multiple strangers about their type in women, helped a few folks exorcize any ailing curses, picked up more information on her research. Eaten another fast food lunch—burgers, no doubt.
Whatever the hell she was doing, Utahime missed her.
(Not that she’d ever admit that out loud.)
Her phone buzzed during her lunch break, as she was in the middle of finishing the last rice ball in her bento.
Yuki: home at 8 today !!!!
Utahime: What did you want for dinner?
Yuki: no need to cook, take a break tonight
Yuki: i’m bringing back your favorite ٩(≧▽≦)۶
Utahime: Okay, drive safe.
Yuki: you know i will. see you ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡
This was one of those times when Utahime thought about how Yuki fell into her life—a star that unhooked herself from the sky to grant wishes that Utahime didn’t even know she had. But there were also moments when she ruminated over her feelings that Yuki was unattainable, and how she had to reach out for her light in the night—so close, yet so far. This longing terrified her occasionally; she didn’t realize she could be capable of giving her heart so wholly to another person.
She sighed again and ate the last of her lunch, went back to work, and then drove home. This was her weekday routine, rinsed and repeated over and over.
The bedroom door was slightly ajar when she entered the apartment, and her mattress called her back into deep slumber.
(She gave in to the temptation of a well-deserved nap instead of arranging paperwork and paying bills.)
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Wake up.”
A saccharine voice filled the air, and Utahime’s eyelids fluttered open to find Yuki kneeling by her side of the bed, still dressed in her outside clothes. Her hair smelled like the sun, like a room on a summer day when the windows were left open. The clock read 5:15 PM, thirty minutes after she’d fallen asleep.
“Yuki?” Utahime rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, “You’re home earlier than you said you’d be.”
“Yeah, I am,” the other woman smiled, “Food’s on the table, but we need to talk before dinner.”
Raising an eyebrow, Utahime replied, “Talk? About what?”
Yuki took her hand, giving it a kiss before inching a bit closer. “Don’t worry, princess. Nothing bad, I swear.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
The blonde took a deep breath before beginning, “It’s about the job I had today.”
“What was it?”
A brief chuckle, and then, “It was the most important job I’ve ever had to do.”
Utahime sat up fully, furrowing her brows at her girlfriend’s words, “How so?”
“Well…it’s actually not over yet.”
“Oh. Are you leaving early again tomorrow?” She hoped the disappointment laced in her voice wasn’t obvious.
Yuki shook her head, “No, it’s not like that. It ends here, actually.”
“...What are you talking about?”
Yuki had always been a wild card, but this crypticism was starting to confuse her. Utahime noticed there was a slight blush dusted on her cheeks, darkened pink seeping through. Tsukumo Yuki was known for bluntness and brash bravery—and though Utahime had seen it before, her rare flusteredness was still a wonder to see.
Her girlfriend exhaled, “Here goes nothing.”
Utahime watched as she pulled out a small velvet box from her leather jacket pocket, and her breath hitched in her throat. Her brain was lagging as she tried to process the moment—this was happening. This was really happening.
“I had to ride all over Tokyo to find the right one,” Yuki explained, “Haggled as best as I could, too.” She took Utahime’s hand again, “Do you remember our first date?”
How could I ever forget?
“I remember falling over after two drinks and you holding me up when I insisted I could walk by myself. Which, I could’ve, by the way, if you had just let me try a third time,” Utahime grumbled at the memory.
“So stubborn,” Yuki rubbed a thumb over her knuckles tenderly, a fondness growing in her eyes like the half-smile on her face, “You screamed at the TV in the bar when the baseball game was on and spilled beer on the counter, too.”
“It’s a miracle you didn’t run the other way as soon as that happened.”
“Yeah, most people would’ve. But something clicked for me then. You had this…fire in your eyes and that’s when I thought—shit. This woman’s just my type.”
“That’s what got you?”
“On top of the fact that you’re gorgeous, hard-working, and extremely intelligent—oh, and how you secretly kick ass like nobody’s business? Yes, it did.”
Despite being with Yuki for this long, Utahime still couldn’t believe that she thought of her this way. This was something she hadn’t understood fully yet; Yuki saw her in a way that she never saw herself. What she deemed average about her turned into a grand statement of affection from Yuki.
(Out of all the abilities the special grade possessed, Utahime found her penchant for turning hate into love the best one. She wasn’t sure if Yuki even knew she had that power.)
“I—” Now it was Utahime’s turn to get flustered. She detested being this way, vulnerable and small, smack dab in the palm of Yuki’s hand. She was never good at taking compliments since she’d rarely received them growing up, but her partner always made sure to shower her with as much as she could.
Something inside of her stomach twisted, like a tornado of butterflies threatening to storm out of her throat.
Utahime’s eyes trailed down to Yuki’s hand holding hers. Oh. Oh, no. A teardrop ran from her eye and promptly plopped down on Yuki’s skin, causing Yuki to move her hand and swipe the next tear away before it fell too.
She lifted up her chin, gently, “Princess, what’s wrong?”
“Ugh,” Utahime groaned, “I hate you so goddamn much. I’m thirty-two and you make me feel half my age, like some stupid love struck teenager,” she pouted, “You talk to me like a stupid love struck teenager.”
Yuki practically guffawed, “You’re making us sound like hags, babe. We’re not that old.”
“You really want…me?” Utahime blurted out, “For life?”
A bit of surprise crossed her girlfriend’s face at this comment, “Why else would I be here on my knees with a four hundred thousand yen ring?”
Utahime’s eyes widened, “Four hundred thousand yen?!”
“Well, it was actually more than that, but I fought tooth and nail with that tough ass jeweler to lower the price. But that’s beside the point. Utahime, there’s something on your mind, isn’t there?”
God, she loved her.
Utahime’s mind raced, and suddenly all the reasons she loved Yuki slammed into her with full force. She loved Yuki’s patience, how understanding and observant she could be—her free-spirited nature, her ambitiousness, her courage and refusal to ever back down. She loved Yuki’s golden hair and earth-brown eyes and the way she kissed her forehead because she was taller. The way her roughness melted down whenever it was just the two of them, walking hand in hand at sunset or tangled in the sheets during the nights they became one. The way she held her, really held her—the way she became synonymous with safety.
Safety and home.
“Hime?” Yuki’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she shook her head.
“Sorry, I was just…I still can’t believe—” She cleared her throat, swallowing the lump lodged in it, “—that it’s me you want.”
Yuki set the ring box down on the side table, cradling Utahime’s face in her hands, “Of course it’s you that I want. I wouldn’t have stayed with you this long if I didn’t want to be with you, you know I’m not that kinda girl.” She started thumbing the scar on Utahime’s face before giving it a light kiss—she was always so gentle when it came to her scar.
She went on, “I’ve never really been someone who stays in the same place for a long period of time…so this was a first for me. I was scared, you know. When I realized that I wanted to stay.”
Tsukumo Yuki, scared?
“I thought I’d seen the world, but I was wrong,” she chuckled, “I didn’t see it till you looked at me. It’s in those eyes of yours, they burn so bright whenever you do something you’re passionate about. It’s like...experiencing the first sunrise of the universe every time I see them.”
Tsukumo Yuki, with the consistently corny yet flawlessly smooth romantic pick-up lines.
“And if there’s one good thing that came out of Jujutsu Society, it’s you. The chance that I got to meet you that fateful day. That you gave me the chance to be with you.”
She paused, picking up the box again.
“I know I’m always leaving, and I do regret that. I swear I’ll be more present from here on out, you deserve it. But I want you to know that you’re...my North Star. My anchor. I think of you, when I’m far and away, and I always find my way back. I’ve met a lot of women, and I’ve left a lot of women, too—but you, Utahime, will never be a goodbye. You’ll always be my welcome home.”
Tsukumo Yuki, the star that fell into my life. My star, always.
“Your home,” Utahime repeated, and Yuki nodded.
“I love the you who swears like a sailor and falls flat on her ass when she’s shitfaced. The you who puts my bike keys in my jacket the night before ‘cause you know I lose them all the time. The you who thinks you’re singing quietly enough with that beautiful voice of yours for no one to hear. The you who screams at me to get out of the kitchen but’ll eat my cooking anyway. The you no one else ever gets to see, even the parts you think are ugly. You’ll never be anything less than amazing to me.”
Utahime was full-on crying now, despite trying her hardest to keep it in.
“You’re so—you’re so annoying,” she blubbered, “Now I’ve got snot dripping from my nose and it’s getting all over the sheets.” She wiped her nose with her sleeve and Yuki just laughed like she always did, full and ripe with the utmost care for the woman in front of her.
“So what’ll it be?” Yuki murmured, “Can I keep you forever?”
Utahime frowned, “Why are you even asking? You know the answer.”
Tucking a strand of dark hair behind Utahime’s ear, Yuki grinned widely, “Yeah, but I need to hear you say it, princess.”
Tsukumo Yuki. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.
“Yes,” she managed to reply between sniffles, “You can.”
Yuki’s grin grew even wider, “Oh, good. The place I got this from had a no-returns policy.”
Utahime snorted at her joke, and watched as the other woman opened the box, revealing a magnificent, oval-cut and flower shaped diamond ring with a silver band. She slipped it onto her ring finger, “Now it’s official.”
Admiring the shine, Utahime held her fingers up into the light, “It’s lovely…but Yuki, what made you decide to do this now? It's a Tuesday, for goodness’ sake.”
Yuki shrugged, “I couldn’t wait any longer. Simple as that.” She yelped suddenly as Utahime threw her arms around her and yanked her into a large embrace.
“Someone’s happy,” she smirked, hugging her back and nuzzling her face into her neck.
“Shut up,” Utahime shot back, “Of course I’m happy.”
“Get used to it.”
Yuki gave Utahime another kiss before pulling away and rushing to their window, “TODO!” She yelled, “HIT IT!”
The silence permeating their neighborhood was broken by a bubbly love ballad by the one and only Takada.
Shaking her head, Yuki shouted over the music, “NO! Not this one!”
Utahime slipped out of bed to join Yuki, trying to hold back her laughter at her student and his large frame holding up a boombox that looked like a small toy in his hands.
“We talked about this, Todo. No Takada, no matter how catchy she is!”
“But Tsukumo-san, this is one of her most romantic songs! She perfectly captures the essence of true love, which fits both you and Iori-sensei!”
(Utahime thought she could see tears forming in the corner of Todo’s eyes. Geez, that kid really is passionate about his favorite idol.)
“Change the song or we’re training at the waterfall again. Remember what happened the last time, when you were a first year?”
Todo grimaced, lowering the music player and pressing the “next” button. An even slower song began to play, the familiar tune catching Utahime’s attention.
“This was the song you played on your bike during our first date,” Utahime realized, “You completely butchered it.”
“Mhm!” Yuki nodded, “You begged me to shut up when we were at the stoplight.”
“Well, I felt like the entire city was staring at us,” Utahime huffed, “You always know how to command the world’s attention.”
“What can I say, I’m talented and a beauty!” Yuki joked, “But I don’t compare to you.”
The dark haired woman turned tomato red, “Stop that.”
“Never.”
Utahime opened her mouth to fire back, but something falling from the sky caught her eye.
Rose petals?
She stuck her head out and saw Momo on her broom, tossing them down from her position in the air.
“You really planned all of this out, didn’t you? It’s not like you to be so prepared,” she looked up, pinching Yuki’s cheeks, “What happened to my partner? What’d you do with her? Is a cursed spirit possessing you?”
Yuki put her hands over Utahime’s and pressed them to her face even more, enjoying her touch, “To be honest, I kinda winged the whole student presentation thing.”
“How’d you even get them to do this?”
“I swung by Kyoto when I knew you’d be on the way home already. Todo was down from the get-go, but the others were a little harder to persuade. I said if they helped, I’d convince you to let them play hooky at school at least once. And that I’d buy them dinner. That got Mai and Momo on board real quick.”
“Those two drained your wallet though, didn’t they?”
“Ordered the most expensive thing at their restaurant of choice, yep.”
“Is anyone else down there?”
“Miwa,” Yuki called from the window, “Is the arch ready?”
“Y-yes, Tsukumo-san!” A squeaky voice responded, and the sound of metal toppling to the ground followed right after. Utahime could hear a high-pitched, Oh, no! and shuffling as Miwa scrambled to put the arch back together.
“Mai, can you help instead of just standing there, please?!” She whined, and Utahime didn’t even have to look to know that the other Zenin twin was rolling her eyes.
“I didn’t catch Mechamaru and Kamo on time,” Yuki said, “Don’t think they would have agreed even with my conditions.” She grabbed Utahime’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze, “C’mon, let’s go enjoy the fruit of their labor.”
The pair made their way outside into the yard, where the white arch was finally set up and petals were scattered around it perfectly. Todo was still holding up the boombox as Mai stood next to him with crossed arms. Miwa clapped a little before clasping her hands together in excitement, pulling out her phone then to capture photos.
“Seriously, this really is some love struck teenager behavior,” Utahime remarked, looping her arms around Yuki’s neck.
Yuki rested her hands on the other’s hips and touched foreheads with her, “It’s like you said earlier. You make me feel like one.”
They swayed to the music slowly, Utahime swearing her entire body was covered in the color crimson, cheeks burning hot with embarrassment that her students were witnessing this.
“Thank you,” she practically whispered into Yuki’s ear, “For everything.”
A kiss from Yuki was firmly planted on her lips as a response, “I should be thanking you, it’s not every day you find a woman that’ll eat your shitty cooking.”
Utahime smiled, “Oh, before I forget—those pancakes were horrid.”
Yuki bursted out into laughter, “See, this is what I love about you. You’re honest with me.” Pulling Utahime closer to her, she added, “I have a lifetime with you to get better at cooking, anyway.”
Utahime scrunched up her nose, “You have until next week to make proper pancakes.”
“...What about two weeks?”
“A week and a half.”
Yuki grinned, “I can deal with that.”
Touching their foreheads together, Utahime smiled softly, “Get used to it.”
“Already am.”
When they kissed again, they were a reflection of the galaxy—brilliant and bright, the only darkness coming from closed eyelids when their lips fused into soft sparks.
(Yes, Iori Utahime hated mornings—but she savored waking up everyday with the first thought that she would always be loved.)