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There was something wrong with Jensen.
In Jeff's opinion, there were a few things wrong with Jensen, such as his inexplicable dislike of appleberry tea, his insistence that Jeff get out of bed before eleven, and his willingness to pet the lethal fire-breathing dragons which resided in the stables. However, those were all minor concerns which could be overlooked in light of Jensen's years of superlative service as Jeff's valet, but it was the change in Jensen's usual efficiency which was so troubling.
It began with small matters: Jensen was slightly slower to update him on their progress when they were traveling; he no longer showed as much interest when accompanying Jeff on hunts; and, most troubling of all, he retired to bed earlier in the evenings instead of sitting out on the balcony with Jeff to watch the stars and airships high in the night sky.
Jeff liked to think that he was a rational man who strived to make good judgments, but he couldn't help but feel that, for whatever reason, Jensen had started to dislike him.
The worst thing was that he knew it was his own fault.
Jensen's behavior shift had happened nearly six weeks earlier after a party at Duke Padalecki's house that Jeff had attended. As usual at Jared's events, Jeff had allowed himself plenty to drink and he had vague recollections of sitting very close together with Jensen in his carriage on the way home. Jensen had then helped him to his room and out of his clothes, where, in a moment of weakness, Jeff had admitted some of his less than proper feelings towards Jensen.
He didn't remember exactly what he'd said, only the feel of his fingers carding through Jensen's hair and the touch of Jensen's lips against his own, but he was fairly certain that Jensen had been a willing participant in whatever had happened.
This made Jensen's apparent avoidance of him even stranger but after six weeks of Jensen acting oddly, Jeff decided to try to make amends, even if it meant writing Jensen a letter of recommendation and sending him away to an employer who wouldn't try to kiss him when he was drunk. (He heard Justice Harris was in need of a new member of staff; she was always pleased to have something nice to look at.)
Settling in front of the fireplace, Jeff took a sip of water and looked over to where Jensen was reshelving some books. "Jensen, can we talk?"
"Talk about what, sir?" he asked mildly, setting the books aside and turning around.
"Just sit down," Jeff said. "Please." He waited for Jensen to sink to a seat on the chair next to him before asking honestly, "Is everything all right, Jensen?"
Jensen frowned, looking at Jeff like he'd asked him to marry him, or something equally ridiculous. "Everything's fine, sir. Have I done something wrong?"
"No," Jeff said quickly, "not at all. You just seem a little different lately -- you've been going to bed a lot earlier, for one."
He was surprised to see that Jensen looked almost guilty. "Sorry," he said. "I can stay up later if you'd prefer."
"What? No," Jeff said, rubbing the bridge of his nose and wishing there was an easier way to just come out and ask Jensen if he was avoiding him because he'd been inappropriate. "I just wanted to know if there was anything I should be aware of."
"Nothing, sir," Jensen said, as composed and polite as always.
Jeff sighed. "Listen, Jensen, I know when this started. That night… I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like I did. I was drunk and foolish and I hate to think that I've driven you away, but if you'd be more comfortable in another role here or even another household, I can-"
He saw Jensen's eyes widen in surprise and his hand twitch toward his face. He'd watched Jensen make the same movement dozens of times before, raising his hand to push his glasses farther up onto the bridge of his nose, but when Jensen dropped his hand back to his lap, Jeff fell silent unable to remember the last time he'd seen Jensen wearing his glasses.
Frustrated that he hadn't noticed earlier, he asked with concern, "Hey, where are your glasses?"
Jensen twisted his fingers together nervously and avoided Jeff's gaze. "They're broken, sir."
"Broken?" Jeff winced in sympathy; Jensen had bought his glasses a couple of months after joining Jeff's household but he knew it had taken him years and years to save up enough money on a valet's salary. "What happened to them?"
Jensen gave a tiny shrug. "It was an accident. It doesn't matter."
"Of course it matters," Jeff said firmly. "It took you years to buy those. You wear them all the time." He shook his head, now starting to understand why Jensen had suffered with so many headaches lately. "I can't believe I didn't notice sooner."
"It's okay, sir." Jensen gave him a small smile. "It's not important."
Despite his dismissals, Jeff persisted. "What happened to them?" he asked. "I can't imagine you broke them, even accidentally."
"I don't-"
"Come on, Jensen," he said, reaching out to rest his hand on his knee. "What happened?"
"Someone leaned on them," Jensen admitted, "but it was an accident. I should've been more careful about where I put them."
"Or someone shouldn't have leaned on them," Jeff said with a frown. He'd dealt with bullying amongst his domestic staff before but didn't expect that from his current employees, especially not with Jensen as the victim. "Who was it?"
"It doesn't matter-"
"Jensen," Jeff cut in, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. "Who?"
Jensen looked down in embarrassment and Jeff barely caught his whispered answer. "You, sir."
Jeff stared at him. "Me?"
Jensen nodded, apparently gaining in confidence as he explained, "It was after the Duke's party. I took them off to help you get undressed and you leaned on them. It was an accident, sir," he said earnestly. "It happens."
Jeff scrubbed at hand across his face, trying to remember that evening. He recalled Jensen helping him upstairs and into his night clothes but the events in the bedroom were a drunken blur up until the memory of kissing Jensen's softly parted lips. He remembered running his hands through Jensen's hair, cupping his face and licking inside his mouth, but as he thought harder, he recalled hearing a crunching noise when he reached for something on the bedside table, which had to have been the sound of Jensen's glasses breaking.
"God, I'm so sorry, Jensen," he said, feeling like the worst employer ever. They should probably just feed him to the dragons and get it over with. "Let me replace them for you."
Jensen looked at him in surprise. "You don't need to do that, sir."
Jeff waved it away. "Nonsense. I would've done it even if it hadn't been me who broke it. Why didn't you tell me this right away? Even if you've been wanting to spend less time with me, you had to know that I wouldn't want you to work when you can't even see."
"Less time with you?"
"Going out on hunts and watching the stars at night," Jeff said. "That type of…" He trailed off as he finally managed to put two and two together. "Oh. That was because of your glasses, wasn't it?"
It was clear Jensen was trying not to smile. "Yes, sir. I didn't think I'd be much use when I couldn't see, but I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."
"So you aren't upset with me?" Jeff asked, pathetically relieved. "I thought that- Well, I kissed you and then you started to avoid me so-"
Jensen squeezed Jeff's hand with a smile. "No, Sir. If I recall correctly, I was the one who kissed you." He gave a shy shrug. "You never mentioned it so I wasn't sure you remembered."
This was far too much information for Jeff to process in one day. "Wait, you kissed me?"
Jensen's cheeks flushed pink. "I'm sorry for taking liberties but you- It seemed to be want you wanted," he said delicately, "and it was what I wanted too."
"Oh," Jeff said, feeling stunned but pleased as he re-evaluated his position and his relationship with Jensen. "That's good, I suppose?"
"It was good for me, sir," Jensen said with a smirk.
"Right." Trying to get back on top of the situation, Jeff said, "So you don't want to leave?"
"No, sir."
"And you're not angry with me?"
"No," Jensen said with a patient smile. "I like you, sir."
"Okay." Still feeling a little overwhelmed (and suspecting he might actually be dreaming), he said, "I'll look into getting you some new glasses as soon as possible. Then I hope you'll give me the pleasure of accompanying me out on the balcony again one evening?"
He was pleased and relieved to see Jensen's lips curve in a broad, delighted smile. Ever professional, he kept his tone restrained as he said, "I'd enjoy that, sir."
"Excellent." Clearing his throat, Jeff said awkwardly, "Well, I should go to put in a call to the optometrist and then-"
"Sir?" Jensen inched forward in the chair and leaned in close as he rested his hand on Jeff's leg. "Can I…?"
Jeff swallowed, unable to believe this was actually happening. Men like Jensen didn't chose men like him.
"Stop worrying," Jensen said with a smile and Jeff breathed out, soothed by the familiar, friendly interest in Jensen's expression. "Just let me?"
Jeff couldn't do anything but nod. He stayed still when Jensen leaned in, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Jeff's in a chaste kiss. Memory was enough of a guide and Jeff curled his hand around the back of his neck and licked into Jensen's mouth as Jensen made a pleased noise against his lips.
He felt Jensen smile, the corners of his lips tugging up in reflexive happiness, and he kissed him lightly, tickling his fingers over to back of Jensen's neck to make him laugh. Jensen pulled back, swiping his thumb over his reddened lips, and met Jeff's eyes as he admitted, "I've been wanting that for a while."
Smiling, Jeff wrapped his arm around Jensen's shoulder and pulled him over to sit close up next to him. Reassured that this was real and that Jensen actually wanted this, Jeff let himself relax against him as he said honestly, "I'd wager I've been wanting it longer."