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Nothing about the last 24 hours seemed real: losing the All Valley Championship to Kreese, Making peace with Larusso, and Miguel taking off for Mexico. Not to mention how well that puss Demetry did. But the most unbelievable part was reuniting with Robby. Hell, he had to check the seat beside him to make sure he was still there. Fuck his ass, he was. And he wasn’t drunk or dreaming.
There was so much going through his head, and so far they hadn’t spoken much except when he asked Robby if he wanted him to grab some food at the gas station. They had a 26-hour drive ahead of them on I-10. Better think of something to say or this was going to be a long trip.
He had so much to ask him, so much to say. A lifetime of shit. They had 26 hours. Should be enough.
“So … shit.”
“It’s ok, I get it.” Robby ran his hand through his hair, clearly thinking too, his mouth hanging open in thought or what some probably called a smolder. Robby not keeping his mouth shut was always part of the problem, but he didn’t blame him. Couldn’t blame his mother. Got his mouth from him. If they could just get through this trip without fighting. Without him screwing it up.
“Where to start?” Robby said seemingly to himself.
“How about at the beginning. Or the end and we can work our way back.” Johnny smiled. Fuck, he hoped he was funny. Switching to a serious face. “Look, you didn’t have to come, I know how things are with you and Miguel, but I’m glad you’re here.”
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Robby smile a little. “I’m not going to let you go alone.”
Johnny gritted his teeth. He was moved and strangely impressed, but it was the dad’s job to protect the son. Not the other way around. “I can handle myself.”
“Yeah, ok.”
The bruises from Silver still hurt, but he held his own against Kreese. No wait, Danny saved him. Fuck. Well he could hold his own against … a bunch of dumb boys at a mini mart. Shit. He might actually need Robby’s help. He wanted to protect him, but if he wasn’t lying to himself, he might need backup if Miguel’s dad was the kind of man he thought he was.
“You don’t know how things are with me and Miguel. You don’t get it.”
“Sure, you both liked the same girl. I told you the story about how Larusso took my girl.”
“Yeah, everyone’s heard that story. But It’s not that simple.” He took a breath like he was getting ready to go underwater. “You’ve never been there for me. No one has. So when mom left, I thought I’d … I don’t know … give you another shot. But you were with him. And it just kinda pissed me off seeing that.”
“Seeing what?” If he’d watched him train Miguel there was nothing to be jealous of. Or was he jealous of him scrubbing the dojo on his knees like an illegal.
“You were standing behind your car and you guys hugged.”
He gave Miguel the Gi. He searched his memory, but couldn't remember seeing Robby. He’d drank since. Drank a lot. And gotten his head kicked a few times. Not to mention banging his head against the napkin dispenser at the hospital.
“I didn’t know you were there.”
“You were so proud of him at the Championship when he beat me.”
His hands gripped the wheel. He’d wanted to be proud. “That was a hard day for me. You think I like watching my number one student kick my son’s ass? And I wasn’t proud, I taught him everything Kreese taught me. I let him down too.”
Robby was strangely silent, but in an audible way. He looked out the window broodily.
“I get it,” Robby said after a while. “Same thing happened to me. I didn’t see what I was becoming until Kenny looked at me. I did everything to win, just like you. But I taught him to be a thug, like Kreese did to you? Like you did to Miguel. I became what I hate.”
Johnny clenched his teeth. He had that coming.
“I don’t hate you dad. That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s ok. I know some of this is gonna be a horse pill to swallow.”
“Miguel's not my friend. But I wasn’t better. I’ve still got business with him.”
At first he was worried. Now that he got Robby back, he didn’t want them fighting. Didn’t want to take sides. But something in his voice suggested Robby had a deeper meaning to his words.
“So you want to put your rivalry aside.”
“Yeah, like you and Larusso.”
He almost choked on his soda. He could go for a beer. Hopefully, his rivalry would stay ended. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. His boys getting along—but that was getting ahead of himself. First, they had to find Miguel, but this was a great dad moment for him. He never got to praise his son.
“I’m proud of you.”
“For what.”
“For what you just said.”
“I haven’t done anything yet.”
He had a shitty tone. “Look I'm trying to compliment you. I’ve been there.”
“Yeah, I’m just turning into my dad.” A mixture of sarcasm and dread.
“No, you’re not. I’ll make sure of it. You're already way ahead of me. Me and Larusso, we fought all the time like you and Miguel. Over a girl, over the championship, just over everything. There was something about him just made me want to punch his face.”
Robby nodded with understanding.
“By the time you’re my age, you’ll have long figured it out. You’re a smart kid.”
It felt good getting some stuff off his chest. H hoped he’d get a chance with Miguel. He had a lot of apologizing and explaining to do for him too when they found him.
***
Miguel stared out the bus window. It still didn’t feel real what he was doing. That he was actually doing this. That he’d meet his father. He pulled up his hoodie. He thought he had a father. None of his mother’s dates had ever been father material or taken an interest in him before. Not until Johnny. He was his Sensei. On a baser level, he’d taught him how to kick because kicking is badass. But he’d taught him so much more than karate and cool songs. He taught him confidence, how to stand up for himself.
But he wasn’t his father. And maybe he didn’t want to be. His chest tightened and he thought he might cry again at the thought of that night. The night he thought he said he wanted to be his father. But he was talking to Robby. As far as Johnny knew, Miguel wasn’t even in the room. He pressed his forehead against the window.
He was an idiot. But why shouldn’t he think those words were for him. He was always looking out for him. The badass costume for the Halloween dance, coming to the hospital when he fell over the stair rail. Helping him walk again. When he hurt himself attempting the flying tornado kick, he didn't call out for his mother, his teammates, or Larusso. He called out for his sensei. Johnny always protected him. He wanted to be a father … Robby’s father. So what did he want to be to Miguel? Just his sensei. Maybe that was his fault. He raked his hands through his hair. He could think of so many times when he was naturally his father. He remembered like it was yesterday, standing in the dojo after his not-a-date with Sam, embracing Johnny and him giving him his first real toast with alcohol. When he gave him his Gi. His jacket. He was always there. He was just certain.
But he was wrong.