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It was a hot summer day and the Miyagi-Fang crew was making the best of it. They were all at the water park chilling in the pool.
At some point, Eli got bored of just hanging out in the water. He pointed to the massive slide on the other side of the park and said, “Let’s do that one.”
Everyone else agreed. Everyone aside from Robby, that is. As everyone else cheered in excitement and rushed to get out of the pool, Robby said, “I might just stay here guys.” With the size of that slide, there was no way that the water at the bottom was any less than ten feet, way over Robby’s head. Robby didn’t really know how to swim, and he didn’t particularly want to die today.
“What? Are you chicken?” Eli asked him. Robby couldn’t tell if he meant the words, or if he was just joking, but Robby didn’t want to take a chance on the possibility that Eli had just called him chicken. In Robby’s mind, he was still trying to earn the trust of his friends, even though he didn’t need to. It was like Robby’s mind couldn’t comprehend the fact that his friends had already forgiven him for his mistakes.
“No,” Robby said in response. “I could go down that slide if I wanted to. I just don’t want to.”
“Chicken,” Bert murmured. Miguel and Sam glared at them both in a way that clearly meant Be nice.
“Fine, I'll go down the slide.” Robby followed the rest of the group across the park to the large water slide. Robby read the depth as it was printed on the side of the pool. Ten feet. Robby had been right. After seeing the depth, Robby began to pray that swimming was instinctive and not something that you need to consciously know how to do.
They climbed up many stairs and the others were talking excitedly. Meanwhile, Robby retreated into his mind. That was what he did when he was anxious. Not every time, but often enough. Miguel knew this fact, but he hadn’t noticed Robby’s mental retreat. He was too distracted by his friends’ conversation to notice.
When they got to the top, all the other Miyagi-Fangs went down the slide one- by- one, as instructed by the lifeguard. When it got to be Robby’s turn, he was the last one up at the top. All his friends were already at the bottom and had swum to the side. Some had already climbed the ladder back to the surface. Robby felt his heart rate pick up. He was nervous as hell, but he didn’t want his friends to think he was lame, so he followed the lifeguard’s instructions and went down the slide.
Robby knew that going down the slide was a terrible idea as soon as he started to pick up speed. When Robby got to the bottom of the slide, he immediately sank. Robby moved his arms and legs desperately to get back to the top of the water, but it wasn’t working. Robby couldn’t get himself back up to the surface, no matter how hard he tried. His vision was starting to fail due to the lack of oxygen. Robby accepted his fate and stopped fighting.
Meanwhile, on the shore, everyone cheered when Robby came down the slide and landed in the water, but when they realized he wasn’t coming back up, their shouts of excitement and joy turned into shrieks of fear and surprise.
“Why is he not coming back up, Miguel?”
“I don’t know.”
This was when the lifeguard launched himself into the water. The lifeguard pulled Robby from the water. When Robby was pulled to the surface, he didn’t seem to be breathing at all. The lifeguard set Robby down on the ground and checked his breathing. Everyone stayed out of the way as the lifeguard began CPR.
It seemed like Robby was going to die if he wasn’t dead already. Miguel began to cry. He had never meant for this to happen. If only he had stood up more vocally when Robby said he didn’t want to come. Or maybe if he had stayed in the shallow end of the pool with Robby. But he hadn’t and now he was going to have to face the consequences.
Just when the gang had given up hope, Robby’s eyes opened, and he started coughing up water. Miguel shouted, “Robby!” and rushed to his adoptive brother’s side.
“Hey,” Robby said.
The lifeguard was talking to the others, saying something or other about the shallow end of the pool, but Miguel’s focus was completely on Robby. “Hey, Robby. Are you okay?”
Robby took a second to take stock of himself before whispering,
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Good,” Miguel responded, giving Robby a hug.
It was silent for a couple of moments. Robby was trying to make the most of being wrapped up in Miguel’s hug. He felt safe, and that’s what he needed right then. Then Robby whispered, “Where are the others? Are they mad at me for almost dying?”
“They’re right there, talking to the lifeguard who saved you. And no, they are not mad. Worried and concerned, yes. But not mad,” Miguel said.
Robby sighed in relief. “Good.”
Then the others walked back over to them. Despite being told that they weren’t angry, Robby leaned a little more into Miguel for protection.
“Hey, Robby. How are you?” Sam asked gently.
“I’m alright,” Robby said.
“Why did you do it?” Demetri asked.
“Why did I do what?” Robby responded, embarrassed, and sad, and anxious all at once. It was a toxic combination. Nothing good started with those three emotions.
“Why did you go down the slide if you knew that the water is deep, and you can’t swim?” Demetri amended his question.
There was a pause so long that people had started wondering if Robby had fallen asleep or gone unconscious or something. Then Robby said, “Eli called me a chicken.”
“You almost died because Eli called you a chicken?” Miguel said.
“I didn’t actually mean it, you know,” Eli said.
“No, actually. I didn’t know. And I didn’t want to disappoint you. I thought that maybe swimming was instinctive, like when I hit the water, my body would know what to do. Clearly that’s not true,” Robby said.
“What do you mean, you didn’t want to disappoint us?” That was Miguel. Robby leaned into Miguel even more for comfort before responding.
“I just want you to like me. I want to earn my place in this group. And I can’t do that if I’m being called a chicken,” Robby responded in a whisper.
“I’m sorry, Robby. I didn’t know that it would impact you as much as it did,” Eli said.
“It’s okay. I’ll be alright.”
There was a moment of silence when Bert spoke up from the back of the crowd, saying, “The lifeguard said we could go back into the shallow section. I’m going to go.” Bert and several of the others headed back into the shallow end of the pool.
After Bert’s group left, there was only Eli, Demetri, Miguel, and Sam still with Robby. “Do you want to go back to the shallow end?” Miguel asked.
Robby thought for a second. He really didn’t want to upset his friends, but he especially didn’t want to spend any more time at the pool right then. Robby shook his head no. It’s like the councilor always told him, “Sometimes you have to do what is best for yourself and not worry about anyone else.”
“I really just want to go home,” Robby said, looking at Miguel.
“Okay,” Miguel said, helping him up.
“Do you want to hang out? Or do you just want to be alone?” Demetri asked.
“What do you mean?” Robby asked.
“Do you want to, like, watch TV or have a game night or something or do you just want us to leave you alone for now?”
Robby thought for a moment. If they were offering to hang out, then they probably meant it, right? Unless they were offering out of pity. Robby responded with, “If you want.” Miguel was about to say something, probably about how Robby should think about what he wants and not necessarily what other people want, but Robby beats him to the punch and said, “I just don’t want to be alone. But fair warning. I will probably fall asleep. I always fall asleep after emotionally stressful events.”
“That’s alright,” Demetri said. Demetri may be the most intellectually moved of the group, but that doesn’t mean that he rejects emotions and people’s emotional responses to traumatic events. If Robby needs a nap after almost drowning, Demetri and the others are happy to give it to him.
The smaller group piled into Sam’s car and drove to Johnny’s apartment complex. Sam hadn’t asked, because she just knew that Robby would be more comfortable at his home than anywhere else right now.
Miguel sat on Johnny’s couch and Robby sprawled out on top of Miguel. The others sat around the room on other chairs. Eli ended up sitting on the floor because there just weren’t enough seats for everyone. Robby apologized profusely for this, but Eli responded with, “It’s not a big deal dude. I’m fine sitting on the floor.”
Once everybody settled into their places, they all started talking, not about anything important, but just talking. The sound of his friends’ voices soothed him. He felt safe, safer than he had felt in a long time because these people cared enough about him to put his needs before the things that they wanted.
Robby fell asleep in Miguel’s lap to the sound of his friends’ conversation and his adoptive brother’s hand gently rubbing his hair.