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Robby and Miguel were getting ready for Johnny and Carmen’s wedding. They were both doing their preparations in different parts of Johnny's apartment. Robby already had his hair done and was in the process of getting in his suit in his bedroom and Miguel was already in his suit, but could not for the life of him get his hair to lay down right. Miguel stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, desperately trying to get his hair to lay down the way that he wanted it to.
Both boys were so used to being in each other’s space that they knew where the other person kept all of their things. The two teens had even gotten used to sharing some things, such as Robby’s hair gel.
Which was exactly what Miguel needed right now. “Hey, Robby,” Miguel called to his brother, “I’m going to use some of your gel.”
Robby walked out of his bedroom and said, “Okay. Go for it.”
Miguel responded, “I was going to anyway, but thanks for the permission, I guess.” Miguel laughed as he slathered some gel into his hair.
“Miguel, have you seen my belt? I can’t remember where I put it,” Robby said.
“Didn’t you drape it over your desk chair last night after the rehearsal?”
Robby went back into his room to check the location that Miguel had suggested. The boy came back out wearing the belt, just as Miguel finished dealing with his unruly hair.
“I looked right at it. I swear,” Robby said. Miguel could hear the quaver starting in Robby’s voice. Over the past few months, as the boys had bonded as siblings, Miguel had learned about Robby’s anxiety and the signals that an anxiety and/or panic attack was starting. The quavering voice was almost always the first noticeable sign.
Miguel left the bathroom and gently led Robby to the couch. The boys sat down. It was always safer for Robby if he was sitting down. Sometimes the boy’s legs shook so hard that his knees would give out. So that was always goal number one. Sit down.
Robby’s brain seemed to notice and acknowledge the pattern because the rate of his trembling decreased somewhat. Patterns and consistency were always calming for Robby.
“What’s wrong, Robby?” Miguel asked his brother when Robby had calmed down enough.
“It’s just that I couldn’t find my belt when it was right in front of me.”
“Robby, don’t lie to me,” Miguel said, his arm wrapped around Robby’s shoulders. Robby opened his mouth, as if to argue, but Miguel interrupted him. “That may have been the final straw that pushed you over the edge, but that’s not the reason.”
“You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. Now what was the real reason?” Miguel asked, his voice gentle and comforting.
“It’s embarrassing,” Robby said, his eyes focusing intently on the ground.
“It’s probably not as embarrassing as you think it is,” Miguel promised.
There was pure silence for a moment before Robby responded.
“I’m nervous about the wedding,” he confessed to Miguel. “I’m scared everything is going to change again. And I’m still getting used to the changes that happened at the beginning of the summer, Miguel.”
Miguel knew what changes Robby was referring to when he said that. He was referring to the total shift in their relationship as enemies to friends to brothers. On top of that, Robby had only started building a relationship with Johnny at the beginning of the summer. Moreover, due to the fact that Carmen and Johnny were dating, Robby had to get assimilated into a whole new family. And there was the matter of Johnny and Carmen’s baby. That was a lot to happen in a really short time, so he understood why the thought of more change would make Robby so anxious.
But what Robby needed to understand was that there weren’t really going to be any major changes yet. It’s not like they would be moving, seeing as they could hardly afford the apartments that they had right now and the apartments in their complex did not have enough space for two teenage boys to be living full time in one of them. And it’s not like Robby and Miguel hadn’t been bonding as brothers basically all summer. It’s not as if Robby wasn’t already a part of the family. Miguel just had to get the other boy to understand that.
“I understand that and your fear is valid, but let’s break it down. Get more specific,” Miguel said to Robby. It was easier to convince his brother that everything will be okay if they discussed it in smaller pieces.
This was also something familiar to Robby. The boy said the first thing that came to mind. “What if I’m not actually part of the family?”
Miguel had known that this fear would be brought up at some point. It seemed to be a pretty constant one.
"We all love you, Robby. It doesn't matter that you aren't related to my mom or I by blood. What matters is that we care about you, and that isn't going to change. Nothing really changes with this wedding, Robby. You were part of our family long before now. We're just making it official," Miguel said.
"Making it official?" Robby said with a slight laugh. He didn't know why it was funny to him, but it was. It was also extremely comforting to Robby to hear those words. He realized that Miguel was right. He loved the Diaz's and they loved him. They were already a family, even if it wasn't official from a legal standpoint. "You're right," Robby whispered.
The boys sat in silence for a moment, content in knowing that everything would be okay. Then, Miguel looked at the clock and said, "It's time to go. Are you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be.
...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ......
When the boys arrived at the wedding venue, they went to meet Johnny.
When they found Johnny, Daniel was with him. Johnny seemed to be extremely anxious and Daniel seemed to be trying to calm him. As the boy drew closer, they realized that the man was stone cold sober, which was unusual for him.
"Hi, Dad," Robby said walking right up to him. "You look anxious."
"I am," Johnny said.
Robby paused before speaking. "You love her though, right?"
Johnny responded without hesitation. "Yes."
"Good," Robby said. "Just remember that. Remember that you love her."
Johnny smiled at his son and said, "When did you get to be so smart?"
"I've always been this smart," Robby said.
"Don't I know it."
Johnny was significantly calmer now. Robby's reminder of how much he loved Carmen went a long way towards settling his nerves about this wedding.
Robby took a deep breath and said, "It's okay to be anxious, Dad. I am too. But this is going to be good."
Johnny smiled at his son. "Yeah it is."
As the men went through their final preparations, Robby asked his father, cautious of his wording, "You're sober? Is there any particular reason why?"
Johnny laughed. "Yeah, I'm sober. I didn't want to be drunk and forget everything. I don't want to forget a thing."
Robby smiled. He hoped that he and Tory could be like that some day. He couldn't wait to see Tory at the wedding. He wanted to dance with her more than anything right now
...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ......
During the ceremony, Robby and Miguel stood with Daniel by their father's side.
Daniel was officially the Best Man, but only because you were only supposed to have one.
Johnny would have preferred to have his sons be his best men, but there was no way that he was going to pick just one of them. That could have ended very badly.
The ceremony was relatively short and went by incredibly fast. Or at least, that's what it felt like to Robby.
After the ceremony, everyone went to the reception. There was a dance floor set up and some music playing quietly in the back ground. Robby glanced across the room at where Tory was sitting at her assigned table with a group of their Miyagi-fang friends, because Carmen had insisted that they be invited. And Johnny hadn't put up too much of a fight. He honestly wanted the kids there too. The kids who had helped him turn his life around and led him to this amazing place.
Robby wanted to dance, but dinner came first.
Daniel and Amanda gave the best man and maid of honor speeches respectively. Then, Rosa tried to give a speech as well, but her English was not perfect, so it was difficult to understand. But everyone was able to gather the central message and sense the love and joy emulating from her being.
Then, Daniel said, “does anyone else want to make a toast to the bride and groom?”
Robby took a deep breath before he stood up. “I would like to make a toast.”
Johnny looked a little surprised at this, knowing that public speaking, even if it is in front of people that Robby knows, made the boy anxious. But he didn’t try to stop him.
“I had this whole speech written out,” Robby said, pulling a small stack of notecards from his pocket. “But…” There was a long pause as Robby stared at the notecards. The pause was so long that Johnny feared that his son may have been having an anxiety attack. Just before Johnny stood to go to his son, Robby spoke again.
“I think I’m going to go off script,” Robby finished, tearing the cards in half and dropping them on the table.
Everyone was surprised and kind of concerned by the move, but Robby continued before anyone had a chance to do anything about it.
Robby looked at Carmen as he spoke about her, letting the words come flowing out. “I haven’t known you very long, Carmen, but I’ve liked you as long as I’ve known you. The day that Miguel and I made up and the two of us were eating Olive Garden in your dining room, you welcomed me there. I don’t think that you knew that I was paying attention to you that night, or at least not as close of attention as I was paying, but the moment that I saw you and my dad together, I understood why. I understood why he liked you. I understood why you liked him. It was because you made each other happy. And if there is one thing that you both deserve, it’s happiness.”
Robby glanced at the ground for a moment before continuing. “But I was still scared. Scared that I wouldn’t fit into your image of the perfect family. But you’ve proved me wrong, time and time again. In the words of my brother, " Robby glanced at Miguel for emphasis and continued, "‘ Nothing is really changing with this wedding. You were part of our family long before now.’ And it’s true. I do belong here. We all do. And that’s all thanks to the two of you, Carmen and Johnny Diaz-Lawrence.
“So I want to congratulate you on your big day. Here’s to Dad and Carmen. Here’s to the beginning of something better than any of us could ever imagine.”
Everyone toasted to Robby's speech and to the married couple.
Everything was going to be great.
After dinner, Johnny and Carmen danced their first dance as a married couple. As Robby watched, he saw the sheer joy on his father's face and knew that this was the way it was always meant to be.
When the dance floor opened up, the first thing Robby did was find Tory. The two of them danced together for hours on end.
As Robby was dancing with Tory, he glanced around the room. Tory called his attention back to her. "Am I not enough for you?" Tory asked jokingly.
"Of course you are. There's just a lot going on right now."
"I know," Tory said. She paused a moment before adding, "Do you need a break?" She knew that sometimes Robby would get overwhelmed when a lot of things were going on and get overstimulated.
Robby thought for a moment before saying, "No. I want to dance with you."
"Okay," Tory said. And they started dancing again.
Robby smiled down at Tory. "I think I love you," he said so quietly that she could only faintly hear it over the music.
"You only think so," she responded with one eyebrow raised. She was messing with him, and he knew it.
"Yeah. I think so." There was a short pause as Tory tried to think of a comeback, but Robby continued before she had the chance to speak. "I don't really know what love is," Robby began. "But if it's anything like what Carmen and my dad have, the sheer joy they share with each other," Robby continued. He glanced away from Tory to look at where the happy couple were dancing. He smiled. "Then, yes. I think I'm in love."
Tory smiled at Robby. "In that case, I think I love you, too, Robby Keene," she said, right before pulling him into a kiss.
Robby couldn't help but smile against her lips.
Robby had this strange sense that he had been exactly right.
This was the beginning of something beautiful, something better than any of them could have possibly imagined.
It was the beginning of the rest of their lives.
But the change wasn't scary anymore.
It was hopeful. Because Robby knew that whatever changes happened to come their way, his whole family would be in it together.
It was everything that Robby ever needed to know. And he could feel the truth in it, just glancing around the venue where all of the people he loved were dancing and chatting and laughing and smiling.
They had all been through so much, but they were all still together.
And that had to mean something.