Chapter Text
Vyn already knew that time didn’t wait for anyone. And so does the end of a lifetime. Vyn is, of course, not an exception to this rule, as unfortunate as that sounds, because he’s simply not god. Even if he got through scrap and filth with miracle luck, the man knows that—at some point of his living days—he, too, will get caught up by the very thing he got lucky enough to overrun for the last 20 something years of his life.
That, being his overall imperfections. His imperfections that he so desperately wants to bury six feet under.
“Vyn Richter, 27, born on September 27th, renowned psychologist/psychiatrist, owner of Giannovyn Mental Health Research Center, visiting professor at the School of Psychology of Stellis University. He currently holds both a doctorate degree in psychology and pedagogy in the Kingdom of Svart. Additionally, he also holds an international license in clinical psychology and hypnotism.” Damn right he is the epitome of perfect in an outsider’s eyes, with this information in the Big Data Lab, flaunting his academic and work life full of intellect and skill, and with the way he presents himself to the public’s eye makes one wonder how the gears turn and work in his mind—it’s like he’s got everything under control, and with style too. Elegant and poised, mystery enveloping his entire being that there is absolutely nothing to nit-pick upon, and surely with his foreign beauty, it’s hard not to see him as anything but perfect.
He may as well be god incarnate.
Except he isn’t. And that’s precisely why he still finds it jarring that no, he is not perfect like he thought, that no, he is not healthy as he thought, and that yes , something is absolutely wrong with him (which he is aware of, believe him, he knows long before) and it may have finally caught up to Vyn at this very moment, in a form of a genetic test result handed to him over by his dear friend Aston. (And god why does Aston look so grim?)
“Vyn,” Aston began, his voice serious, but Vyn can tell it’s struggling not to crack. Vyn has prepared himself moments ago for this possibility ever since he left Mira to discuss things with Aston, telling her to “go head home first”, but it drives him just a bit on edge knowing it’s still different when it happens in reality. Nothing can truly beat the scripted versions in his head.
Vyn tries, though. He tries to suck it up and nod in acknowledgement as he professionally (like he always does, since he doesn’t have a choice but to act professionally) takes the genetic test results from Aston’s hold.
Silence. Silence is all there is between them. (Quite suffocating, Vyn remarks to himself.) Then, Aston speaks up again. “I… don’t really know what to say to you, Vyn. As your friend, it’s just-” Vyn definitely sees the way Aston swallows thickly, momentarily feeling as though his voice got caught up. Vyn tries not to inhale too sharply, though. “-yeah.” And that’s all he really says.
Vyn looks down at the folder, and for the first time, he feels genuine, striking fear. Not that he’ll ever find it in him to admit that in front of his friend—Aston may be his friend but it does not warrant outright telling your friend that “oh so I really am not perfect after all and I fear that this may be the worst outcome there is and the thing is my defect is exactly the very thing you are researching about so precisely how are we going to go about this conclusion?” and definitely, definitely no commas in between because pausing can only take up so much time that he could be using for something more produ-
“Thank you, Aston.” is what leaves Vyn’s mouth, though. And he hates how uncharacteristically soft it sounded. Aston hears it loud and clear, however. He offers a nod, and the conversation ends there.
This may as well be the last time he’ll ever see Aston in the flesh for more than 5 minutes. Even with the clinical trials, Vyn’s had enough on his plate. If his miracle luck is ending here, then he’ll just spend the remaining time out there for something more productive, instead of getting treatment for a false reality.
Marni is different. She has a future ahead of her. But Vyn? Vyn may as well set the bar low before he expects something high, and the first step to that is eradicate the thought of hope.
His remaining time may be enough to leave Mira with good memories, at least. Oh, and to learn every pastry he wants to bake for her, no matter the difficulty. Because he’s perfect.
And a perfect man does not idle.
So maybe he really is broken.
Because why is he so sullen and almost looking like he’s going to give up? It’s like despair is eating him alive and he’s trying his best to appear fine when deep down, it’s nowhere near to the standards of “fine”. Now he made Mira worried and if anything, that is the last thing he wants to happen to her. Before he even knew it, his heart magically sewed itself on his sleeve and now he’s spilling the one fear he has, his walls crumbling down like a sand castle. Or a card tower. Either way, his walls became fragile, and Vyn wonders if it’s because it’s Mira or if it’s because of something else.
Regardless, Mira still finds her way to touch Vyn’s broken soul and that somehow shatters it further. He doesn’t even know the contents of the test results, and sure as hell he doesn’t want to know to begin with. Not when Aston looked like that while handing the folder to him—how can one expect him to react? Expecting disappointment is precisely what can get Vyn to calm down at that moment of weakness, but now that he has come face to face with Mira… He finds it hard to reign his emotions in.
He will not cry, though.
Vyn doesn’t know when it ended—the words of affirmation Mira gave to assure him that he would forever be the Vyn in her heart, no matter the imperfections. It comforted Vyn, even just a bit, but it still… worried him. Because this is Mira, the person that showed Vyn that the world isn’t all that bad if you look at it from a different angle.
He’s afraid that Mira will have to deal with an imperfect man, with an imperfect health. And he’s afraid it’ll break Mira. (Even though Mira has made it clear that Vyn will always be Vyn in her heart, so why is he so uptight?)
Mira still manages to give Vyn even just a slight bit of courage, and he gingerly picks up the brown folder with the documents inside. Instantly, Vyn’s mind flashes Aston’s expression, and he finds himself gripping a bit too tightly. Mira must’ve noticed with how her hand is on Vyn’s, giving it a soft, reassuring touch that says “everything will be okay”.
So he reigns his emotions in, and opens the document.
With all that’s said and done, undoubtedly, Vyn indeed got lucky with his health, and the Duchess of Bavaria knows this well with how close they were back then. But as far as laboratory tests are concerned, laboratory tests are simply laboratory tests, and if there is one thing laboratory tests are worth for, it’s the fact that most of them are statistically, scientifically and objectively true, if not all.
Especially if it comes from a renowned researcher like his friend Aston. Of course these results are not forgery in broad daylight—these are real, and that’s why it’s terrifying .
But honest to gods and goddesses, Vyn wished the results were just mere illusions. A part of him hoped that Aston was just talking about a minor illness that nothing a few over-the-counter medicines can’t fix, and not something as tragic as this. And yet…
“You,” Mira swallows thickly, and then looks up at Vyn with eyes that tell exactly his reaction to this revelation. “You have…” Mira can’t bring herself to say it. Not like this—they just tackled this topic with the Duchess and Marni and Aston and oh gods Mira did not think this could be happening to them and yet—
Vyn somberly nods, “I suppose I cannot run from it any longer.”
It seems as though Vyn is next in the bucket list, and the hope completely shatters, replaced with a disappointed smile, and if Mira squints, fear glazing in those golden eyes that once held professionalism and mystery.
The house stays stagnant and silent, neither willing to speak. Vyn gently (almost carefully as if it was a glass shard he was holding) places the documents aside and looks at Mira, the complicated expression on his face hard to decipher. Was he sad? Was he disappointed? Was he scared? Who knows, anymore. But Vyn can see Mira’s eyes drowning in fear, and something tells Vyn that this isn’t Mira’s first time.
That assumption breaks what is left in Vyn’s heart.
He watches as Mira looks down, avoiding Vyn’s gaze. “No…” Mira mumbled. “Not you too…” And if that choice of words is not enough to pique Vyn’s curiosity, then Vyn has no idea what it is. However, he doesn’t press further as he moves and wraps his arms around Mira’s body, pulling him close.
“Mira… My rose…” Vyn softly calls out to her, his voice successfully reaching Mira with how she responds to the hug—snuggling further into Vyn’s hold and returning the gesture with her own arms wrapped around him. “This is quite a lot to take in. I apologize,” Vyn mutters against Mira’s hair, trying to find solace in this revelation. Because this is in fact too much to take in—even Vyn cannot seem to process it in under 5 minutes.
Mira doesn't cry. "...How long do you have left, Vyn…?"
Vyn shouldn't have winced at that question. He shouldn't have. Not when he is a doctor, and even though he specializes in psychiatry, he still thinks that hearing such words should not make him wince from the impact. And yet, it did, and it hurt .
"I," Vyn subtly clears his throat, trying to get the difficult words out, "I believe I have quite… a shorter time now. 4 years, I suppose." Vyn has to keep calm under pressure. He knows that after this, he will have to undergo the path of imperfection and acceptance, but really… this is too much. It’s like he’s being run over by multiple trucks and the only thing curing him is a tiny band-aid.
Mira stays silent.
For the first time, Vyn doesn’t know what to do.
Contrary to popular belief, Vyn did not hide the truth from NXX. No, it’s more like Vyn did not bother hiding his emotions at any given point once he was in the HQ. After the grand reveal which was his genetic test results, it took Vyn a night for him to get back up on his feet and pretend he’s not having the grim reaper trailing at him like a dog.
So he does end up looking perfect in the public’s eye, and if the public thinks he’s perfect, then damn right he is.
Still, Vyn can only pretend so much, and he’s just a human too (but he’s desperately trying to at least pass off as fine so the other three men don’t go suspicious mode and sense that “something is not right with this dude”), so for some reason, his walls seem to crumble down completely the moment he steps afoot inside the NXX HQ, the last to ever arrive at a morning meeting. Vyn tells himself to keep it together, and he does. He keeps up the flair of an act, his persona engulfed in the sea of professionalism as he elegantly takes a seat next to Artem.
And he pretends he is fine.
Marius, the one who’ll be leading the meeting, clasps his hands together all the while smiling that usual shit-eating grin of his, “Alright! Now that the doctor’s here, let’s begin the meeting.”
Thankfully for Vyn, everyone is sharp when it comes to working. For a brief second, he feels as though everything that happened that day with the godforsaken genetic test result was just a whole illusion painted to throw him off. Of course he’s healthy. Of course he’s perfect. Why wouldn’t he be?
Vyn looks down at his stale cup of tea. He doesn’t know when everything started and when everything ended, but the moment he came to his senses, Marius was already painting at the corner with an easel and a canvas in front of him, paint, palette and brush in hand. Luke and Artem are busy discussing cases in the archive room, arranging the rest of the cases they haven’t put aside yet. Mira is all who’s left sitting in the same table as Vyn, and if he glances from his own papers to Mira’s space, Vyn can see that she’s drowning in work again.
Reign your emotions in, Vyn tells himself to that one small part of him inside, Reign it in.
So he does, and Vyn looks back to his own papers, back to scribbling notes and looking through files.
Mira worries. Of course she does, she’s the first person to know and despite the work the law firm gives her, she still somehow finds time to worry about Vyn and his condition.
Vyn doesn’t even need to explain because she can simply figure it out. The way the test result haunts her day and night alongside Luke’s ticking time bomb of a lifespan—seriously, why must it be two people now?
One has a genetic defect that finally caught up to him after years of miracle luck, and one got contaminated by a toxic gas during his NSB missions and will most likely not survive more than three years later.
The only difference there is between the two is that Vyn just has one more year to live. But 4 years and 3 years are not really strikingly different—Mira hates it but in the end, both will still have death following them.
“I’m heading out,” Marius says, slinging his belongings on his shoulder and waving goodbye at the members. Mira and Luke wave goodbye, while Artem nods in farewell. Vyn turns to look, teacup in hand, a glint of amusement flickering in his golden eyes, “Do not forget to turn in your assessment later this evening.” He makes sure to enunciate every word.
Marius rolls his eyes and walks away faster, already feeling like heading home if it means getting away from his source of irritation (source: Vyn Richter), “I always turn them in on time, be patient. Sheesh!”
And the door shuts.
The next person to leave the HQ would be Artem. “Mira, please send me the case report when you’re done. We’ll need to prepare for the trial next Monday.” Mira looks up from her files and nods at Artem. “Yes, Mr. Wing!”
Artem looks at the other two men and nods as goodbye, before leaving the HQ without saying any more parting words.
This leaves Mira with two of the men that she has been growing worried for since… a while now. Mira takes a glance at Luke’s figure, back faced towards her as he hums a random tune while going through case files in the shelves. And then she glances at Vyn at the other side of the table, who is taking a seat and looking through case files again, making comments here and there in the case files, which are updating in real time.
Honestly, if Mira didn’t know any better, she’d think the two men in front of her are healthy.
Mira looks down at her own papers and doesn’t say a word. She couldn’t, anyway. And maybe that’s why she hates it. She hates how she knows the truth about the two, but the rest of the members don’t even know that two of their co-workers are, well, sick with the grim reaper following, out for their souls.
A teacup clinks softly in front of Mira, and she looks up in surprise to see Vyn above her. “What is wrong? Anything going on in your mind?”
Mira really has no clue how Vyn managed to shrug it off like nothing just happened. “Ah…” Her words get caught up in her throat as she hastily scrambles for any words to say. When nothing comes out, she looks down at the teacup, absentmindedly raising it and taking a sip.
Vyn knows the answer to his question to Mira, so he sits down beside her and doesn’t elaborate. Instead, he brings up a new topic of conversation to steer clear of any more thoughts regarding the incident. “I have heard of a new exhibit opening next Thursday. It will feature the concept of illusions and mirage. Perhaps you would be interested to join me?"
Mira cannot find it in her to refuse, of course. She smiles, nodding. "Of course, Dr. Richter! The trial will be on Monday anyway, so this is a perfect treat for me!"
Upon hearing Mira's responses, Vyn nods with a soft smile and a mumbled "okay". Now that Mira has come to her senses, she notices that it's only her and Vyn inside the HQ. “Huh? Where’s Luke?” She asked, looking around for the fluffy haired detective as she placed the teacup on the table. Vyn replies with, “He went to the toilet for a while. He has not left.”
Mira is glad she asked the question then, because it’d be troublesome if Luke walks in to Vyn and Mira discussing Vyn's lifespan, and the last thing Mira would ever want is for Vyn’s greatest secret to get divulged out to another NXX member who she knows is also suffering from the same thing. Something just tells Mira that if either of the two's lifespans are revealed, hell will break loose.
A cold but gentle touch relaxes the creases on her eyebrows, and Mira looks up to see Vyn quite close to her. “Vyn…” She mumbles quietly. Vyn smiles, his worried expression faltering just a bit in hopes of easing Mira’s worries. He quietly pulls away, all the while saying, “You are stressed”.
And Vyn’s right, Mira is stressed. Because this is life they are dealing with. Life of not only one, but two people. Well, right now she is focused on one, but, “Vyn…”
He gently presses a finger on her lips, “Shh,” He shushes softly, and then smiles warmly. “We will acknowledge the elephant in the room when we’re ready to process it further.”
“Process what further?”
Mira wished she didn’t think, or talked at all.