Chapter Text
Lars feels bad for Steven, for many reasons.
He’s not really sure where this comes from at first, because for all of the wacky stories the kid came up with back when he was like, 8 or something, it was all make believe stuff about his weird ‘magic moms’ or whatever. Or at least that’s how he thought about it.
But then Steven started getting older. His voice picked up from that weird low pitch of his into something lighter, and instead of slouching in innocence he held himself with a confidence that Lars wishes he could exude, and then he started going around helping everyone, like it’s his job or something.
That’s when the world started getting weird.
The magic moms are actually real, the purple one buys donuts on the third Saturday of every month, but Steven always comes on that day anyway, so Lars isn’t entirely sure where those doughnuts actually go. She also shows up in the same outfit every time, but then occasionally she’ll switch outfits and it fucks with Lars’ brain more than he wants to admit.
Along with that, there was that whole spaceship thing, the city got evac’d, then this weird green person started showing on every electronic in the city ( at least ) which was not only an inconvenience but also Steven related? There were the unpredicted earthquakes, which were somehow also Steven, and Lars doesn’t think it's possible to forget the day where Steven literally possessed him.
Ironically, that’s what set things in motion.
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Kiki: hey lars you awake rn?
Of course, Lars is. It’s literally 1 in the afternoon, he’s got work.
His fingers shake as he glances down at his phone again, and this isn’t Jenny. It’s her less popular twin. But Lars isn’t… the most popular person, and he’s definitely not friends with Kiki, so he’s not sure why she’s texting him.
Small town, or something. He doesn’t even remember giving Kiki his number.
Lars: yo
Okay, so two letters. That’s… a start.
Kiki:
this is like. super dumb but uh
Kiki:
how old is the universe kid again?
Lars blinks once. Twice.
How old is Steven?
He’s… never actually asked, wow. Steven’s probably a kid, right? He’s so small that his neck isn’t even visible. But at the same time, Lars has never gotten that feeling whenever Steven forces himself into a hangout. Maybe the kid’s just mature for his age, or something. That probably makes the most sense, in any case.
Lars: dk ask his dad not me
Kiki: bro where tf do you think im gonna get that guys phone number from
Lars: he runs a business figure it out
A customer enters through the door, the gal’s not frequent enough for Lars to know her name but it’s definitely not her first time here. She’s honestly pretty chill, sometimes she’ll sit in the shop for a bit while she eats her doughnut, and Lars isn’t creepy for having noticed that all, he swears.
He says how much she owes before he even processes what her order is, but Sadie doesn’t sigh and say a different number.
Definitely not creepy, he reminds himself.
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Steven’s house is the closest one to the Big Donut, which is weird because you can’t actually see it while leaving the shop.
You’ve gotta follow a path that’s been laid entirely by Steven’s continued use until you circle around this giant hill ( not teen brooding hill, all the cool kids avoid it since Ronaldo claimed it for himself) and see a moss-covered rock structure, and from there you’ve got a 50/50 of a lit house or a lights-out house.
Steven sits in the dark sometimes, apparently. At least he knows how to save electricity.
Lars: Going to be a little late getting home tonight, sorry
The question of Steven’s age really shouldn’t have gotten on his nerves this much, but when there’s no sign of any of the magic moms (gems, he knows they’re called gems, but that just sorta sounds weird) on the beach, and also no Steven, Lars still ends up drifting over to the steps.
It’s not lame to check up on Steven. Steven’s friends with literally everybody, somehow, and the kid balances that pretty well all things considered. There’s not been a single time Lars has been called the wrong name, and he remembers one time Steven apologised because he accidentally called Jenny ‘Jen.’ The kid’s too important to this city to be uncool.
The cabin’s empty when Lars gets to the top, even when he knocks. Or at least that’s what he can see from the screen door.
Welp. This is a waste of time.
Right as Lars turns around, bright blue light flashes from the windows and shines on the wooden porch, and Lars twists back around to see Steven standing in the more… alien part of his house, holding a giant bucket of laundry, all his signature shirt.
How many of those does he own?
His phone beeps, probably a response from one of his parents, but he doesn’t move to answer it. Instead, he knocks again, trying to pretend that he’s not looking through the screen door because that’s weird.
It doesn’t take Steven long to get to the door, greeting with his signature cheerful tone, “Hey Lars! Do you need something?”
Lars realises a moment too late that he really could have texted, and that’d be a lot less weird. Dammit.
Stupid.
Maybe he could… ask for Steven’s sugar. Say the Big Donut ran out. The kid wouldn’t question that at all.
“Uh…” fuckfuckfuck “–Kiki was wondering how old you are?”
Ugh that was awful you dumb idiot why would you be asking instead of Kiki she’s definitely more welcome than you, you should just go home and—
“Oh!” Steven doesn’t seem to mind the random question much. “I turned fourteen a few weeks ago!”
He’s only 3 years younger than me!?
8th grade/freshman age. Lars sort of expected that, but still, what the fuck?
“Uhh… thanks.”
“That it?”
“Sure.”
The door shuts.
Lars manages not to start running until he’s a few yards away from the steps, but once he’s running he’s running.
That was so stupid.
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At the age of 13, Steven universe most likely saved the world, if that giant hand was anything to go off of.
That’s… concerning. Lars doesn’t have the greatest sense of age (he can barely remember being 13, which Sadie says is weird since he’s still 17 but it’s fine) but that still sounds… young. Especially since his moms are all apparently immortal.
Steven Universe was 13, possibly 12, when he started dishing out advice to practically the whole city. Innocently walking around acting like a 9-year-old while he said some of the most encouraging shit Lars has heard in his entire life.
Because that apparently makes sense.
Of course Lars isn’t worried for Steven, because that’d be dumb. The kid’s business is not his business in any way, shape, or form.
But, possibly, the next time Steven stops by the shop, Lars manages a full deep breath at the trail of napkins, and doesn’t even scream. Because that kid’s apparently saved the world, and what the hell has Lars even done?
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The potluck invite is nothing short of a surprise, Lars doesn’t think he’s cool enough to be invited to one of Buck’s parties, but somehow he’s managed it.
Sadie’s 18, she’s an adult now, it makes sense that she’d go to one of these things. And of course she was invited! And Lars was too!?
Ugh.
Steven and Sadie are… annoyingly encouraging. Like they don’t know that Lars and his stupid baking are weird and lame and for some reason they're helping Lars and… enjoying it? As if it's so cool to bake something for a cool kid party. Lars probably should have gone to the store and just bought nachos, at least that’s safe and cool. Even if it’s a waste of his job money.
But then Sadie leaves and Steven tries so hard to keep him convinced, and for a moment he even trusts that he can do this.
Lars nearly leaves the house in his work shirt and has to run upstairs, and before he knows it he’s overthinking what he’s going to wear, and then he realises he’s about to be running late so he chucks on a skull shirt and runs.
The door is possibly the scariest thing on Earth. Which is totally unfair, because it’s just another door, there’s probably billions of those on this planet.
Whose idea was it to bring a cake to the party, anyways? Probably his, because it’s lame and weird and it’s not good enough and that sums him up pretty thoroughly.
(A spaceship approaches overhead, and Lars barely even notices.)