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Nagi Seishiro was born on May 6th. His mother and father welcomed him with loving smiles as the child quietly yelped out a cry for a second before his face morphed into a calm blankness.
Seishiro’s parents were surprised at the quiet and easy birth of their child, the nurse had remarked how lucky they had been.
As the nurse handed over the couple's new bundle of joy, the pair looked at their new son. Seishiro stared at the two; his big round eyes opened then lowered, and blinked a few times, before closing again. Nagi Yasu, his mother, was puzzled by the child in her arms.
She remembered being in the delivery room when her sister gave birth, the immense joy, and the loud cries from mother and child. But this experience was different, holding her child she felt a cold nothingness. Nagi Touya, the father, understood her sudden mood change and looked at his wife with concern.
The nurse came back into the room and took Seishiro from the couple to be checked up and monitored. She told the couple that they could leave after 2 days. After the room cleared Yasu looked at her husband, he could read the sorrow and confusion in her eyes. They hugged and Yasu cried out her eyes that night.
The following morning the couple, with rejuvenated hope, were handed their child once more. But once again bonding with their son proved more difficult. Seishiro did not like being touched or coddled by either of them, he would squirm away from their touch during the skin-to-skin bonding session. Seishiro also wouldn’t breastfeed only drinking from bottles so he didn’t have to suck. By the end of their two-day stay, neither parent was able to form a bond with Seishiro.
When the couple got back to their home, their efforts with Seishiro remained unrewarded. He wouldn’t cry, only making small noises to be changed or fed. Seishiro didn’t laugh or smile when they tried a myriad of different baby toys. Seishiro’s eyes remained blank and lidded. Not even a cry or scream came out of Seishiro. It was dreadful for both adults. Seishiro was so quiet they forgot him in the car one day. Panic set into the couple and they rushed back to the car, it had been 15 minutes, but when they opened the door Seishiro stared at them apathetically.
This continued for years. Seishiro didn’t hug or kiss them. But there were little moments that gave Yasu and Touya a little bit of hope. When Seishiro turned on the TV and sat down to watch a Bonobono cartoon with what the couple thought was amusement. Or when Seishiro got an iPad and started playing video games on it, he didn’t smile but he seemed a little entertained by it.
When Seishiro was at daycare, the couple got many calls from the center concerned about Seishiro as he didn’t interact with any of the children or caretakers. Yasu and Touya would pick up their son from the daycare and watch as other parents picked up their children. The children would run to their parents smiling and jump into their arms, but Seishiro walked passed the couple and straight to the car, ignoring them completely.
When Seishiro turned 5 he started elementary school. His teacher had called them in for a conference and brought up their concern that Seishiro could be autistic. Explaining that he was having difficulty connecting with people and that the couple should seek out professional help to make sure their son is properly being taken care of.
Yasu was conflicted by this revelation. On one side she felt relieved that there could be a reason for the way Seishiro is but also she knew the couple wasn’t ready to take care of a kid that needed extra resources. Touya had convinced Yasu that it was best to know now and so together they booked an appointment with a child psychologist.
At the psychologist's office, Yasu finally broke down. Painful sobs emerged from her throat while Seishiro sat across her staring blankly.
“Nagi-san, I know this is difficult to hear but I would like to ask you to take deep breaths and calm down, your child is watching. Alexithymia is not autism, but a neuropsychological phenomenon. He displays difficulties in expressing emotions and understanding emotions. He also is exhibiting difficulties reading other people's emotions and a general discomfort in affection but that does not mean that your son is apathetic.” The psychologist explains.
Yasu tried her best not to break down but every time she looked at her son her heart broke. When they got home from the psychologist's office, Seishiro went up to his room to play on his iPad. The couple were distraught, this was not what they were expecting when they decided to have a child. They looked through the pamphlets that they got talking about therapy as they decided what to do next.
The couple thought it was best to include Seishiro in the conversation. They didn’t know what was best for their son. Seishiro looked at them impassively and told them he didn’t want to go to therapy because it sounds like a pain and he would rather be left unbothered.
The couple sighed and later on that night, they agreed that they would wait a bit and put Seishiro in therapy later on when he was older and better understood the situation.
But that day never came. Yasu became even more busy with work at a sudden promotion and Touya got recruited at a different company and started working even more. In a few years, it became common for Seishiro to be home alone in the house. Their relationship with Seishiro hadn’t improved in the parent-child sense but they had been able to get Seishiro to open up a bit by stepping back and implementing a hands-off approach. To Seishiro his parents and him had more of a friendship than a parental relationship.
Seishiro was in his 3rd year at junior high. Time flew by, his parents barely saw Seishiro by this time. That’s why when Yasu returned from a business trip and saw Seishiro talking to a cactus, she burst into tears. There was something so painfully lonely as she watch her son greet the cactus “Choki” when he came home from school. Something Seishiro never did to either of his parents. Yasu realized that their approach might have made Seishiro feel lonely, so she was determined to form a connection with her son.
But it was already too late. Seishiro came home one day and put a piece of paper in front of his parents. It was for a form for Hakuho high school. Touya was shocked, he knew the high school for its reputation of being very prestigious. The couple didn’t know Seishiro was so smart. Not only to get into Hakuho but also to get a scholarship.
At first, Yasu hesitated. Although they didn’t have a strong bond he was still her child. But Touya convinced Yasu that this was the best path for opportunities. Touya was a university professor and liked the idea of Seishiro getting a good education. And so the three took a train out of Kanagawa and into Tokyo. They helped Seishiro move into a single-bedroom apartment not too far from the school.
Yasu was sad to let her son go. She tried to give him one last hug before exiting the apartment but he turned his body and shifted uncomfortably at the display of affection. With a sad smile, she let go of her son. She finally faced the reality in front of her. Seishiro was never going to be the child that talked happily about his day at school to his father in the car ride home, or kiss his mother's cheek and thank her for dinner, or invited a group of loud friends for a study session. He wouldn’t grow out of it, it was just Seishiro.
The trio quickly settled into a new normal. Yasu and Touya no longer needed to be there to take care of Seishiro so they decided to travel. Yasu finally saved enough money to quit working and Touya, in between school sessions, went on archeological digs. That took the pair traveling all across the world. Yasu would still call her son, or at least try to, every week to check up on him. Sometimes she forgot but it wasn’t like Seishiro noticed. The calls were always brief and lasted a minute or so. Seishiro never told her about his day it was mostly the couple telling Seishiro where they were or what they had been up to, but they never got any calls from the school so they assumed Seishiro was doing fine.
It wasn’t until Seishiro’s second year of high school. He had visited home during their winter break. The couple noticed something different with their son. His dense and dull eyes that they had come to know as their normal had seemed impossibly lighter. And when their eyes met him, Seishiro greeted them. It shocked the couple, Seishiro had never greeted them in the past. He would normally walk into the house with cool indifference.
Touya had suggested that maybe Seishiro going to Hakuho made his manners improve. But that wasn’t the strangest new development in Seishiro’s behavior. Seishiro had developed an affinity for the color purple. At first, Yasu didn’t notice anything strange about Seishiro picking the purple straw or when Seishiro strangely would be on high alert and look at anything purple that popped into view as they walked down the street. But she finally noticed it one morning. Seishiro was in the kitchen. The mug cabinet had been open and there were mugs everywhere, on the countertop, on the dining room table. And Seishiro was still taking them out and placing them in various places that had space. When Yasu asked Seishiro what he was doing he ignored her continuing whatever he was doing.
But it wasn’t long until he found what he was looking for. In his hand was an old purple mug that was at the very back of the cabinet. Seishiro filled the mug with lemon tea and went back upstairs to his room leaving all the other mugs still scattered. Yasu sighed and worked to put all the mugs back in the cabinet. The more she thought about what unfolded the more weird she thought it was. For one, to take out all these mugs required effort and Seishiro hated bothersome things. If he wanted a mug he would have just grabbed whatever one was in front. Secondly, Seishiro doesn’t even use mugs! He doesn’t like washing them so he normally uses disposable bottles. Seishiro must have really wanted the purple mug all the way in the back for him to use a mug and expend energy trying to get it. But before Yasu could question the strange behaviors Seishiro had to return to Tokyo the next day.
When Seishiro came to visit again in spring, the couple noticed even more oddities. Although Seishiro didn’t smile he was more energetic and overall the couple could see him changing. One strange thing the couple noticed was Seishiro’s wardrobe change. Seishiro came home in a sweater with purple, white, and blue. It was different than the cream oversized hoodie and sweatpant combo that Seishiro wore like a uniform and the sweater looked too small for Seishiro. The length of the sleeves looked too short, falling a little above the wrist on him where two hair ties occupied. But, Yasu chalked it up to Seishiro’s love of the color purple and ignored it but when she went to do Seishiro’s laundry a few days later, she also noticed that the sweater Seishiro was wearing was a designer brand!
Seishiro was not fond of working or doing anything extra so where could he have gotten the money to buy a designer sweater? Yasu was going to bring up to topic over dinner but before she could Seishiro’s phone went off and Seishiro immediately stood up and went upstairs.
“Who could he be talking to?” Touya asked.
As far as the couple knew, Seishiro had never once made a friend. But then all the puzzle pieces started to fit for Yasu, “He has a girlfriend!” Yasu shouted happily.
Her husband looked at her in disbelief “Our Seishiro?”
“I know it sounds impossible but listen, he comes home in an outfit that he would never buy or wear meaning that his girlfriend probably bought it for him and he must be wearing it out of loyalty to her. And the two hair ties on his wrist, clearly it’s for when his girlfriend needs one. And that call right now, it must have been someone important if he drops everything to answer it.” Yasu explains to her husband.
“I don’t know Yasu….”
“Go check on him,” Yasu said shooing her husband upstairs.
“Come on, didn’t we agree to give him space….”
Yasu looked at her husband silently threatening him to go upstairs with her eyes alone. And Touya was a passive man and listened to his wife so he did as he was told. He stood outside of Seishiro’s room and heard Seishiro’s tail end of the conversation. Seishiro had said “I miss you too” to someone on the phone. Touya couldn’t believe it at first. He thought he was imagining it, and tried to think of other possible phrases that could have been uttered out of his son's mouth but the more he thought about it the more sure he was that his son had told someone he missed them. Those words were never spoken to anyone, not even them.
Touya went downstairs and told his wife. Yasu was elated. Finally, their son had formed a meaningful relationship with someone. Finally, someone could love and take care of their son. A huge sense of relief washed over the couple.
But when they asked Seishiro if he had a girlfriend a few days later he flat-out said no with a look of disgust over the simple idea of having a girlfriend. And once again Seishiro’s parents felt saddened.
It wouldn’t be until Seishiro’s third year of high school when his parents were in Tokyo and decided to stop by Seishiro’s apartment for a surprise visit, that the couple would be able to pinpoint the reason for Seishiro’s change.
…………………………..
Yasu and Touya arrived in Tokyo because Touya had a conference to attend but a sudden storm had stopped all trains from returning to Kanagawa. With most of the hotels in the area being booked the couple decided to stop by Seishiro’s place. Their phones had died while they were trying to find other means of transportation but they figured Seishiro would be at home probably playing video games.
When they arrived at Seishiro’s door they noticed a plastic bag outside. Food delivery, Seishiro was always lazy so making food was a rarity but at least he was eating. Touya picked up the food and Yasu rang the doorbell.
What they hadn’t expected was someone other than Seishiro opening up the door. Touya double-checked the apartment number and yup it was right. Standing in front of them, however, was not their son but a man with purple hair and amethyst eyes to match. But that wasn’t all, he was wearing Seishiro’s signature look, cream hoodie, and sweatpants to match although they were way too big on this person.
The purple hair boy was shocked for a moment but schooled his expression back and gave the couple a charming smile.
“Thank you I’ll take that,” the purple-haired man said, taking the plastic bag from Touya.
“Oh, wait let me get a tip-”
“Oh no we’re not-”
“Mom? Dad?” Seishiro appeared from behind the purple-haired man. Seishiro had just come out of the shower, he was only wearing black boxers. But that wasn’t all that surprised the couple. Their son was built! Well, he was still a bit on the skinny side but he had defined abs and his legs looked toned.
“Sei! These are your parents?!” The purple-haired man said, his eyes wide in shock as he looked between Seishiro and the couple. Seishiro just hummed in response.
“Oh my! I’m so sorry! Come in. My name is Reo” The purple-haired man said. He had a polite smile and was energetic in the way he talked and he extended his hand to shake to both Yasu and Touya. The complete opposite of Seishiro.
The couple was both shocked and confused but made their way into the apartment. They sat down at the small dining room table, they could've sworn that when they bought it for Seishiro’s apartment there was only one chair but now there were two. From behind them, the couple could hear whispering. Well only Reo was whispering and it still was quite loud to the point the couple could still hear the conversation, Seishiro was replying at his normal volume.
“I didn’t know your parents were coming over! Do I look ok? I should’ve dressed nicer!” Reo whispered
“I didn’t know they were coming over either………..and I like you in my clothes” Seishiro responded
“Sei-,” “You’re dripping all over the floor!”
“Reo wasn’t there when I came out of the shower”
“Come on let’s go get you dried off and changed to something more appropriate”
“Ok Reo”
Yasu and Touya couldn’t believe the conversation happening behind them. This might be the longest conversation they have heard Seishiro have and the most they’ve ever heard their son sound so soft and caring.
Seishiro. Their Seishiro hated affection. Their Seishiro who wouldn’t change his tone for good or bad news. The one that treated them with indifference. Was basically cooing for Reo’s attention.
“Sorry to leave you. Treat yourself to some food. We will be right back” Reo had turned to talk to Yasu and Touya giving them a pleasant smile before ushering Seishiro into the bathroom.
As soon as they were gone Yasu couldn’t help but wonder. “Do you think they’re-”
“Come on Yasu, this is a good thing. Seishiro has finally made a friend”
“But Seishiro! He’s so different around Reo and his body is completely different!”
“Let’s not meddle anymore Yasu. Seishiro is grown up. What he does with his life is up to him. We should be glad that he’s made a connection with someone” Touya concludes
“I guess so….”
A few minutes after Seishiro and Reo emerged from the bathroom. This time Seishiro was fully clothed in an oversized creme t-shirt and gray sweatpants and his hair had been dried and combed out no longer looking like a mangled mop.
“Why are you guys here?” Seishiro asked his parents. It was blunt and harsh, the tone they were used to hearing from their son.
“We need a place to stay. We came to Tokyo for Touya’s conference but as we were heading back the storm came and canceled the trains going out for the night. We couldn’t find a hotel room available on short notice and our phones had died while trying to look so we thought to visit you.” Yasu explained.
“Well Reo is staying over today so there’s no room” Seishiro responded brusquely
“No wait Seishiro! Of course, you can stay over. Sorry about that” Reo interrupted.
“Reo~ you can’t go home. You promised to stay tonight. Plus the trains are out. It’s not safe to be traveling tonight”
Yasu and Touya watched astonished. Reo meant more to Seishiro than his parent?! Well, if this is the first person Seishiro could form a connection with then that made sense but the pain that stung from that realization still hurt the couple.
“How about you let your parents take your bedroom and we can sleep out in the living room” Reo suggested.
“Oh no, it is ok Reo-kun. You are very polite trying to deal with our son but if it is too much of a hassle we can be on our way and find a business hotel to stay at.” Touya offered.
“No, no. You are Seishiro’s parents you should be able to stay at your son's apartment, Right Sei” Reo replied. The last part was accompanied by Reo tugging at Seishiro’s sleeve to agree with him.
“Yeah sure” was all he could offer.
But regardless the couple got settled into Seishiro’s room. There they saw the familiar plant, Choki, on the window sill, gaming set up with a PC and headphones. But there were also new things in Seishiro’s bedroom, like the many pictures of him and Reo on the football field. Which explains Seishiro’s new more muscular physique. And other photos of just Reo, candid shots from different angles that were shot beautifully. As Yasu looked through Seishiro’s room a tear escaped her eye as she felt the love that Seishiro had for Reo.
When Touya spotted the tear he came to his wife's side asking her what was the matter.
“I think our son will be just fine” Yasu replied. She wore a sad but serene smile, finally accepting her son.
The rest of the night went on pretty uneventful. Reo had set the table. Of course, there were only 2 seats at the dining room table so Seishiro and Reo ate on the kitchen counter. Reo had cooked some fried rice to accompany the food they order for takeout as well as a side salad. Seishiro was glued to Reo’s back as he cooked.
Yasu could see the way Reo would get flustered at Seishiro’s unashamed, bold display of affection in front of his parents no less. But Reo didn’t know how lucky he had it, not even Yasu could get a tenth of the affection Reo had gotten in a span of 10 minutes.
Reo had made nice pleasantry, he was very skilled in small talk and quite charming. He smiled a lot and was very animated. Seishiro would stare at Reo as he told stories, maybe it was the reflection of the lights but the glint in Seishiro’s eyes sparkled whenever Reo got particularly excited.
After dinner, Seishiro had been badgering Reo about his promise to watch a movie with him. Reo, to the dismay of Seishiro, invited Yasu and Touya to join their movie night. This is when the couple learned they were watching Seishiro’s favorite movie. They didn’t even know Seishiro liked movies. Whenever they tried to get Seishiro to go to the movies when he was younger he would always complain that they were too long and predictable.
The couple sat down and watch eternal sunshine to the spotless mind. By the end of the movie, the couple were in tears. Yasu thinks that she may understand Seishiro a little better now and Touya understood how important Reo was in Seishiro’s life.
After the movie ended the couple got ready for bed. Before going to sleep Yasu went to the living room to whisper her son goodnight, only to see Seishiro warmly clinging onto Reo’s body as they slept soundly in the living room.
When Yasu returned to her husband they gave each other a knowing look. A sigh of relief was released from them both. Finally, they could feel at peace. Seishiro had found his person. Although Seishiro may not have realized it, that bond is all his parents wanted for their son that was always drowning in a somber loneliness.
……………
In the morning it was only Reo that greeted them. Seishiro was still fast asleep in the living room, as expected since it was 8 am. The couple told Reo that they would be heading out. When Reo asked if he should wake Seishiro up to say goodbye the couple simply shook their head.
‘I leave Seishiro in your care Reo, please treasure him” Yasu said. These were her parting words.
Reo simply smiled at the couple in complete and utter sincerity, “I will. Seishiro is my treasure after all!”
With that, the couple left and returned to Kanagawa. Finally, they loved their son.