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Another weekend, another party. You fought to keep the scowl off your face and to keep your features neutral.
You took a sip of your drink and ignored the sharp bite the liquor left as you looked around for your boyfriend. He dragged you to parties every weekend and almost always disappeared into the crowd and with his friends.
Particularly Minho.
You huffed angrily at the thought of your boyfriend’s best friend and threw back the rest of your drink, hoping the alcohol would dim the irritation radiating through your body.
You and Minho just didn’t get along; you two had a completely separate sense of humor, different style, different likes, different taste in food and in music, everything. The only similarity the two of you shared was the adoration for Han Jisung. You would both hang the moon for the playful, energetic boy.
Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem. It hadn’t been an issue for such a big part of your relationship. But since Minho moved into an off campus apartment with someone else in his department, you felt like you were constantly begging and competing for time with Jisung. Your boyfriend began to act like seeing his best friend was a rare event when, in fact, he saw Minho more frequently than ever. He got so easily wrapped up.
You tried to be understanding at first and gave Jisung the time to adjust and figure out how to balance his time without feeling like you were nagging him about plans or dates. But that only sparked arguments when a few weeks had passed and nothing changed. Fights, tears, conversations, yelling, pleading, crying, ignoring - nothing changed Jisung’s blindness to how much time he spent with Minho and how often you were brushed off to the side in favor of the other.
Finally, Jisung decided to invite you out every weekend with his friends. “Why not both?” seemed to be his solution to splitting his free time. Except it wasn’t a solution and it wasn’t split; he always ended up gravitating towards Minho.
You stayed in the kitchen for a round of shots with a few mutual friends before setting out to find Jisung. He was going to spend time with you, you wouldn’t take no for an answer.
You looked around the living room and first floor for a couple of minutes but couldn’t spot your boyfriend anywhere. Or Minho, for that matter.
You recognized one of Jisung’s friends talking in a hallway with a handful of people from a class they shared. This friend was one of the few you could actually tolerate. It was impossible to hate him, really.
“Felix, hi,” you greeted warmly when there was a pause in conversation.
“Hi, y/n,” he responded, smiling at you and offering a tiny wave. “Are you here alone today?”
His words stirred the anger in your belly, but you kept composure.
“No, I came with Jisungie but I lost him somewhere and can’t find him. Do you know where he might be?” You feigned a pout for effect and Felix laughed lightheartedly.
“I haven’t seen him, but Jeongin brought his pen, so maybe they’re taking a few hits? I’d try the basement; Jeongin usually hides down there to smoke.”
You squeezed Felix’s arm gently and thanked him before heading down to the house’s basement. Chatter faded away as you navigated down the hallway and then stairs. The basement was pretty big and divided into a few sections, almost making them different rooms. You knew Jeongin was smart enough to move away from the base of the stairs and hide away as to not get asked for hits all night. You spotted a few guys sitting and sharing the pen, but no Minho or Jisung to be found.
You exhaled, frustrated. You were about to give up when you heard giggling further back, towards the washing machine and water heater. You went to investigate.
Your heart skipped a beat and you felt your stomach lurch. You had to grit your teeth to keep yourself from vomiting on the spot from shock. You heard blood rushing in your ears but couldn’t do anything but stare.
Stare as Minho pinned Jisung to the wall in between his arms and kissed him hungrily. When they parted for a breath, Jisung chased his lips and kissed him back feverishly. Drunken giggles floated in the space between them and you felt the air being punched from your lungs.
You didn’t realize a broken noise cracked from your throat until the boys broke apart and Jisung’s head whipped up. Instantly, the color drained from his face and the tipsy euphoria that was there seconds beforehand was gone.
“I- y/n, uh, we-”
You looked from him to Minho and saw almost no emotion etched into his face; no guilt, no shock, no worry. The bastard almost looked smug. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than a galaxy of space between them and yourself. You turned on your heels and all but bolted away, back through the basement and up the stairs. You heard commotion behind you but kept moving. You weren’t entirely sure when the tears started, but suddenly, your vision was blurring and it was impossible to make out much of anything in detail.
You could tell there was a mass of bodies near the front door and decided to steer towards the back patio. You threw the door open without any care and stumbled out.
How could you be so stupid?
How could you be so blind?
He’s in love with him. He’s fucking in love with him.
Not you. Not you.
Your stomach lurched again and you lost balance, falling forward onto your knees into the grass. Sobs kept bubbling up in your chest, but they would stop before they came tumbling out. They were being drowned out by fury.
“Y/n!”
You lifted your head to see Jisung climbing out the back door onto the patio with Minho trailing close behind.
“Stay away from me!” you snarled, legs still weak and shaky. You still couldn’t get up.
“Y/n, will you just listen to me for a second?”
“I don’t want to hear a fucking thing from you!”
“I love you! I do! You’re one of my best friends,” Jisung shouted out desperately, holding his hands out in a pleading manner. “You know me and I know you. It...It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I didn’t even know what I was feeling, what I was thinking, what I’ve been going through. I’ve been trying to figure it out without hurting anyone. But you’ve been my best friend for so long and you’re more than my girlfriend because of it. We share a special bond, not even one Minho and I have.” Jisung hesitantly took a few steps forward. Minho was smart (for once, you thought angrily) and stayed back.
“Can...can you just look at me? So we can talk?” Jisung asked with a shaky voice. You could hear the emotion behind his words and it only set fire to the rage you felt.
“Why?” You asked, a wet laugh interrupting. “Why? What could talking possibly fix here, Jisung?” You took a second and let out a shuttering breath. “I don’t think I can look at you and not think of how you killed every last bit of love I had for you.
“You chipped away at it, piece by piece over time. You wore it down and when it was at its weakest point, you ripped it out of me. Stomped on it. You’re watching me bleed out and then asking me why I’m not patching you up.
“It’s over. We are done. I...I fucking hate you, Jisung. And I fucking hate you more, Minho.”
You took the moment as Jisung stood stunned from your words to finally stand and break away from them. You clenched your fists, digging your nails in until they pierced your palms and used that pain to ground yourself as you walked away from all of it. You let your tears and cries fall freely as you mourned life as you knew it with Han Jisung.