Work Text:
Neal was in his graduation year when Ellen told him the truth about his father. It had devastated her boy. In hindsight, she regretted ever telling him. She should have waited until after his graduation. Why did she have to tell him on his birthday? Until this day she couldn´t remember why she did it, spite? Vindication? Or was it out of petty? She told herself it was a reality check, that she could no longer lie to him. He was about to become an adult, start his life and he wanted nothing more than to step into his father´s footsteps. Maybe that was it, she had done it to protect him, he would have found out at the academy what really had happened to his dad. She wanted to protect him from the humiliation.
Neal had always been like a son to her. Ever since Neal´s dad had been arrested and his mum had not been able to keep it together. Ellen had raised Neal as her own son. Oh, he didn´t live with her, but she had made sure that they could stay together in Witsec. Luckily the Marshall´s office had realized that it was better for the boy that the two women stayed together. Neal´s mum had already shown signs of mental instability. Ellen knew it would only get worse once she started drinking.
Whenever Neal´s mum had a hard time raising Neal on her own, Ellen stepped in and took care of the both of them. Marie divorced James not long after he had been sentenced. She could live being married to the man who had destroyed her family. This way she could tell Neal that his dad died a hero. Neal would be too young to actively remember his dad. They wouldn´t have any connection with him anymore.
And so Neal grew up in a relatively normal household. Whenever his mum got overwhelmed, she would step in. She would make sure that all the important days were taken care of. As a child, Neal already knew, it was not his mum who ran their household, but Ellen. And he was grateful for that, he would show it in small gestures. She was the glue that kept their little family together.
Sometime she still wondered why she had told him. Neal had been so excited when he turned eighteen. He could finally apply for the police academy. And instead of being happy for him, she had told Neal that his dad was not the hero he thought he was. She could still see the look of disbelief in his eyes when she told him and hear the rage in his voice when he told her to leave him alone. He had grabbed his coat and backpack where she knew he kept some art supplies in and had left the house. Ellen had been convinced that he would be back by nightfall, that he needed a breather. But when he hadn´t returned that evening, she had expected him to be back the next morning, so she waited for him on the couch, so they could have a talk.
But the next morning, she woke, having fallen asleep, and she was still alone. She walked up to his room and it had been empty, the bed still made, so he hadn´t been home. By now, she was convinced he had run away, although run away… She also knew as a cop that an eighteen year old was not considered a runaway anymore. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted, he was an adult.
She also couldn´t go to the cops, Neal´s mum and herself were still in Witsec. She should however inform the Marshalls. They needed to know that Neal had left.
She walked over to Neal´s mum, but she was still not very coherent. Ellen sighed. How could Marie get so depressed that she let herself go like that. Ellen always was impressed how Neal could keep his mum teetered to reality. Ellen smiled, Neal always brought the best in his mum. He worked hard at school, getting good grades to make sure he could enter the police academy, just like his dad. Neal was smart and never did need to put much effort in his academic endeavors. He had more than enough time to participate in the track team and to take art classes.
And now their precious boy was gone. All because of her. If she had only been able to keep up the illusion Neal´s mum had spun to her son. Marie would have made a great con. Lying to her son on what kind of hero his dad was.
* * *
March 21st 1996
Ellen knocked on the backdoor. Marie called out to come in, so Ellen opened the door and let herself in.
“Hi Marie.”
“Hi Ellen, how are you?
“Fine and you?”
“OK, I guess.”
Ellen could see the bottle of vodka on the counter. It appeared to be still closed, so she was relieved that she decided to come over today. It would be tough of them both.
“I brought us a cake, red velvet, Neal´s favorite.”
Ellen could see Marie give a small smile. Maybe this was a bad idea. She had thought it would be a good idea to celebrate Neal´s birthday. They hadn´t heard anything in the year that passed, but to Ellen that was good news.
Neal was smart enough to not be found if he didn´t want to. Was he building a life for himself? Had he finished high school? Was he attending college? Did he find a job and a nice girl? She hoped Neal kept his wits together and made a good fulfilling life for himself. She would never forgive herself if she ever found out he ended up in the gutter or worse…
She had kept her eyes and ears open without contacting any law enforcement, but she had not heard or seen any incriminating evidence that Neal had left the straight and narrow. But of course maybe he had left the state.
Neal deserved not to be forgotten. Their boy was still out there. That is why she had decided to visit Marie so they could celebrate their boy´s birthday. She knew they both would wonder the rest of their lives what had happened to Neal. It was a hurt that would never go away.
Shaking her head to get the dark thoughts out of her head, she did her best to smile. This was supposed to be a happy day, Neal would have wanted that. She quickly made a pot of coffee and placed the cake on a cake stand. She poured the both of them a cup of coffee and cut the cake. Neal would have loved the cake.
“Happy Birthday, Neal!”