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Lena hunched over the desk in her lab, tirelessly working away on her latest evil invention. The sweat was pouring off her bald head. "At last, it's finally complete!" Lena laughed maniacally to herself after saying this. Dr Frankenstein had nothing on her. "With this Kryptonite infused hair loss cream I can finally make Supergirl just as bald as I am. Goodbye Goldilocks, hello Baldilocks!" This wasn't even just for her. Anyone in National City with good hair would have to watch out. Lena was coming for all of them. Their hair privileges were about to be revoked.
Lena hadn't always been like this, bald and evil. A few months ago, she was just a regular girl, working in National City, doing whatever LuthorCorp business she needed to do. That all changed on one fateful night though. Lena had been on her way home after a long day at the office. Normally she would have taken a taxi home, but that night, Lena had decided a walk might do her good. That had been her first mistake.
On the same night, Supergirl, defender of National City, was busy fighting Red Tornado. A military cyborg who had lost control. Lena didn't know that she would end up in the crossfire here. One moment, she was walking along, talking in the cool night air. The next, she felt a red hot light blasting the top of her head. "Aah!" Lena cried out in pain.
"Sorry ma'am," Supergirl said, while floating above her head, "I didn't mean to hit you with my heat vision."
"Wait what! You just used your heat vision on my head, accidentally?" Lena stamped her foot on the ground when she asked this question.
"Well, yeah, pretty much," Supergirl replied, "I would love to stay and chat but there's this mean military cyborg that I really need to take care of."
"Before you go," Lena began, "how's my head?".
"Wow, buy me a drink first and then we'll talk," Supergirl laughed back. "Who am I kidding, I bet you give great head."
"Not like that!" Lena corrected her. "I mean, does it look okay?"
"Oh boy," Supergirl's tone didn't sound very promising here. "It uh, looks just fine. Anyway, I really must be going. Bye now!". As soon as Supergirl finished talking, she flew off in a flash. Lena could have sworn that she could hear Supergirl saying "talk about laser hair removal" as she was flying away. The shock had come shortly after this, when Lena had caught her reflection in a shop window.
"My hair!" She cried out. "My beautiful black hair!!". Lena's hair was completely gone. Supergirl's heat vision had removed it. Lena had gone from a scientific egghead to a literal egghead. "I'll get you for this Supergirl! If it's the last thing I do, I'll have my revenge! You're gonna be just as bald as I am. Mark my words."
This had all happened a few weeks ago. Since then Lena had been working day and night on her Kryptonite infused hair loss cream. Tonight, her hard work had finally paid off. Now, Lena just had to come up with a plan. "I've got it!" She exclaimed. Lena was pretty sure she had come up with the perfect plan. She had done her research on Supergirl after their encounter. It turned out that Supergirl was a disaster lesbian first and a superhero second. Lena probably should have clocked this sooner, after that comment about giving head.
This had led to Lena formulating a master plan. She would steal a police radio, issue a fake report that there was a naked girl stuck up a tree, and wait for Supergirl to come running. Then, Lena would leap out of the tree, and squirt the hair loss cream all over Supergirl's precious little locks of hair. Of course, Lena would have to be naked too, just to make it convincing.
Her back up plan was to wear a low cut blouse, then secretly conceal the cream between her cleavage. Once she saw Supergirl flying nearby, Lena would say "God, I wish there was a Kryptonian nearby who could squeeze these giant breasts of mine for me. They're just too big for me to do it myself." Lena knew that Supergirl would hear this, thanks to her super hearing. Once Supergirl took the bait and squeezed, Lena's hair loss cream would squirt all over Supergirl's hair and get to work.
"Lena, stop," Supergirl's voice pulled Lena out of her thoughts. "I know what you're trying to do here. This isn't worth it."
"How did you get into my lab?" Lena asked. "I have millions of dollars worth of security measures in place."
"You left your window open," Supergirl motioned to the window behind her when she said this.
"That's…" Lena struggled to find the words for a second, "slightly embarrassing. Either way, I don't want to hear whatever you have to say. My life is over because of you!".
"That's not true," Supergirl pleaded with her. "You can still live a full life without hair!".
"How?" Lena asked.
"Well for starters," Supergirl began to approach Lena, "you'll save a ton of time in the shower every morning. Now instead of spending all that time shampooing, drying and conditioning your hair, you can just forget about those steps."
"That does sound pretty tempting," Lena didn't expect to agree with Supergirl, but she liked what she was hearing so far. "What other perks are there?".
"You don't have to bother spending all your time and money at the hair salons anymore," Supergirl replied.
"I'm rich, so money wasn't really an issue for me," Lena answered. "But it would give me more time to focus on my scientific research."
"Exactly!" Supergirl agreed. "And you could start wearing hats"
"I don't know," Lena responded, "I was never much of a hat girl."
"But that was back when you had hair," Kara moved closer to Lena when she said this. "Now you have a completely different head shape. The possibilities are endless!".
"Maybe I'm crazy, but you're starting to make a lot of sense," Lena replied. "This bald lifestyle could be good for me."
"So you're not going to use Kryptonite hair loss on me?" Supergirl asked. "Or on anyone else in National City who has luscious locks?"
"Not anymore," Lena resigned. "I think this whole bald thing might not be so bad after all."
"It's a shame though," Lena paused, "Now I don't need to jump out of a tree naked and try to land on top of you. And I definitely don't need to trick you into squeezing my breasts."
"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a minute," Supergirl practically ran over to Lena. "I don't know why you were going to do either of those things but let's not be too hasty. I'm sure we could still find a reason for me to squeeze those beautiful boobs of yours. And if you wanted to jump on top of me while you were naked, all you had to do was ask."
"Well in that case," Lena began to unbutton her blouse," why don't you show me that Kryptonian strength and start squeezing."