Work Text:
Bolts and beams whizzed through the air at lightning speeds, barely missing their targets and impacting their crafts. Turbulence rattled throughout both ships as an intense broadside fight raged on.
And yet, despite the intense battle and hordes of Grimspawn being shot down left and right, both sides were flinging cheesy one-liners back and forth just as much as they were shooting.
“You call these minions, Night Hunter? They’re more like skeet!”
“Sure, but for each one you shoot down, I can have two more take their place! And trust me, you can’t keep this up forever!”
The two continued their duel… but both were so focused on each other that they weren’t exactly looking at how their co-pilots were doing. The most that either paid attention to was an occasional call to Snivel or Albert to watch their driving whenever they heard a kathunk. Ozzy was so focused, he even let Izzy get a line in of her own.
“You say that, but I see your turkeys are getting cooked!”
“…Wait, why do you call them turkeys? They’re Grimspawn, my minions!”
“Cuz they look like cooked turkeys!”
Before the Night Hunter could even think of a good retort to that baffling answer, he first heard Snivel squealing about something involving big rocks, and saw Oswald’s Space Bus slamming into the underside of an island…
…And then the next thing they both knew, they were violently launched from their respective crafts and sent tumbling down, down, down.
-----------------------------------------
When Oswald opened his eyes again, he looked up in the air, trying to get a good look of his surroundings. A glance at a rolled up paper and a looming pair of scissors stuck blade-first in a mountain confirmed: this was the Realm of Arts and Crafts. Not as good a place to crash land as Pillows Peak, but it was still pretty safe. And a glance to his side showed he was stuck in the shores of the Glue Swamp. A soft landing, sure, but he couldn’t exactly move very well. “…Alright… sound off, everyone who’s not dead.”
All he got was a groan from his long-time rival, the Night Hunter… and some annoyed grunting too. “Oh, it’s just us. Great.”
“As if you’re one to talk. You drag these middle-schoolers along with you in this war, and suddenly you’re surprised that they make bad pilots.”
“Then what the heck is Snivel? He’s too short to even reach the steering wheel without a high chair!”
“Hell if I know, the Grimspawn just are naturally short, I guess!”
“I, uh… okay, you’re right there.”
A lull of silence came about, as the two just stared up into the sky. Neither could really get up to fight, thanks to their soft landing being one made on a foundation of pure school glue and tape vines. The most they could do was activate their distress beacons and just wait for their respective teams to rescue them.
After a long, awkward pause, the Night Hunter finally broke up the silence.
“I swear, this is just like that time we were still bounty hunting together and chased down that dream criminal Iron Claws.
Oswald couldn’t help but chuckle at that one. That one stint was pretty dang fun. “Oh, it was years ago, but I remember it like yesterday. Let me guess, you’re talking about how we crash landed in Bouncy Boulevard and we had to duke it out in a match of dodgeball?”
“Bingo! God, that was fun while it lasted.”
“You do throw a mean dodgeball.”
Both sighed as they saw the clouds float by. But then Oswald just had to pop that hard question.
“We had such a good thing going… but then you just had to join the Nightmare King. Why’d you do that?” A bit of anger, and a bit of genuine curiosity ran through that question. But the Night Hunter’s response felt less so… maybe more defeated and hurt than angry.
“Same reason you threw your cards in with the Night Bureau.”
“…Let me guess. Money.”
“Bullseye.”
Both couldn’t help but continue staring up in silence. They had bills to pay, sure, but Oswald had a few more scruples than his longtime rival. He knew not to work for someone who wanted to ruin things for everyone, no matter how much he’s willing to pay. But the Night Hunter knew just how much resources the Nightmare King had access to. A massive windfall would certainly be within his reach.
“How’s the workplace treating you, Ozzy?”
“Honestly? I get admonished all the time by my boss, Ms. Strick. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but she’s a real hardass. I swear, she’s just waiting for me to break the rules so she’d have an excuse to fire me. You?”
“You wouldn’t believe how much my boss keeps threatening me. Vague stuff, but I’m pretty sure it’s death threats. One time he pointed my own crossbow at me. And those three under my charge, Sneak, Snivel, and Susan, they’re fun but they’re really exhausting. Probably like how those kids are for you.”
A simultaneous realization came across the two. While their new jobs brought a lot of financial stability… they didn’t really make them happy. But an idea slowly began to ring out in Oswald’s head. It may not be a good idea in the long run, but it sure sounded like a fun one.
“Tell you what, Night Hunter. Once this all blows over and the Nightmare King is out of the picture one way or another, how about we both put in our two week’s notice and get back on bounty hunting like the old times?”
“Deal.”
Soon, both could hear the turbine engines of their ships coming closer, and the two glanced to each other. Nobody will hear this until the Nightmare King thing blows over.
Both told their teams to not attack each other and just focus on extracting them and getting them out of there. Both because they didn’t want any of their crewmates getting stuck in the Glue Swamps, but also out of a mutual respect.
And both, someday, will honor their deal.