Work Text:
Hot-headed pretty boy.
That's the only correct description for his boyfriend.
Kazuha sighs. This is getting them nowhere.
Kazuha turns to Heizou with a pleading look. Heizou frowns. "Scara, smile more..." Heizou tries directing the other by giving a small smile but instead his boyfriend's face comes out a grimace. "N-Not like that."
"Why are you two even here?" Scara deadpans. Heizou smiles, "To bother you." Kazuha lightly hits Heizou on the arm. "We wanted to see how you were holding up." Kazuha corrects. Heizou rolls his eyes. "You know you're scaring away the customers, right?" Scara sighs and chooses to remind the redhead, "This is just my face."
Heizou raises a brow, crossing his arms. "A scowl is your default?" He asks, suspicious.
"Yes."
"..."
Heizou presses his lips into a thin line, looking not convinced in the slightest. Kazuha leans over kissing his lips softly, pulling away with a small smile. Scara frowns. "You're holding up the line. Stop with the PDA." Kazuha tilts his head. "You just want me to kiss you too." Kazuha teases.
"Can you both just order already?" He speaks blankly but Kazuha can see the reddening of his ears, making him smile. "Okay, okay," Heizou laughs. "Just give me a coffee with milk, and sugar, and Kazuha some tea, not too bitter not too sweet," Heizou explains. "Ah, also, another tea this time super bitter."
Scara nods, "Okay, now please go take a seat," He says, Kazuha has a feeling he's trying to get rid of them which, simply cannot do. "Oh, come on, Kuni," Kazuha smiles sweetly. "There's not anyone behind us," Heizou helpfully points out. "Let us have a little fun." Kazuha nods in agreement. Scara sighs. "Whatever." Then he's turning to make the orders with an eye roll.
-
"Here's your coffee and two teas." Scara slides the three cups towards the two, Heizou takes the coffee and tea, pushing a tea back towards Scaramouche while Kazuha pays. Scara gives him a curious look. "It's for you," Kazuha explains with a smile. "Obviously," Heizou adds.
Scara picks up the tea, hiding a small smile behind the cup. "You could've just waited until I was off," Scara tells them instead. Kazuha smiles. "It's a small reward for being able to keep this job for so long." Heizou nods, "Considering how horrible your people skills are." Scara rolls his eyes. They're finishing each other's sentences, how annoying, he thinks—not fond in the slightest.
"So, when are you off work anyway?" Heizou asks, with a tilt of his head. "Fifteen minutes ago." Heizou pauses. "...oh."
Kazuha laughs. "We got here fifteen minutes ago," he comments with an amused smile. "What a softie you are to work overtime for us, Kuni." Scara sips his tea, "You're right, I should've just hid in the back when I saw you two come in."
Heizou laughs at his remark. Scara takes off his apron with a huff. "You're both so annoying."
"We love you too," Kazuha teases.
"Childe, I'm heading out!" He yells toward the back as he hangs his apron on a nearby rack. "Oh, okay," He hears a surprised voice answer. "You can also stop hiding, that professor left a while ago." Scara deadpans, peeking around the corner to spot his co-worker. "I know," his ginger friend whispers. "I was hiding from that redhead. He's scary." Heizou looks surprised before pouting at the comment. Scara raises a brow. "Heizou..?" He questions before shaking his head. He's talking to Childe, of course, he never makes sense. "Whatever, we're leaving." He says, before turning back to his lovers and gesturing for them to hurry before Childe speaks another word.
"I didn't know anyone was back there," Kazuha speaks with a curious lilt. Scara shakes his head. "He was hiding from the history professor who sat down earlier. He has a pathetically huge crush on him for some reason."
Heizou frowns. "Am I… really that scary..?" Scara laughs. "Yeah, no." He remarks. "It's just that you work at the station and he has a known criminal record. But let's not discuss the weird habits of that bastard," he suggests. "Then, let's watch a horror movie when we get back," Kazuha speaks. Heizou looks away, suddenly finding the cloudy sky more interesting as Scara shrugs. "Why not." Heizou, suddenly walking one step behind the two, speaks up with hesitance. "I would really love to, but you see I have... work..?" Heizou winces as he realizes the uncertainty of that statement.
"No, you don't." Scara deadpans, looking at the other with a raised eyebrow. "You're lying." Kazuha's grin turns out uncharacteristically smug. "Zou, are you perhaps.. scared?" Chewing on his bottom lip he avoids eye contact with the blonde as he grips his coffee tightly. "No..." He denies then shuts his mouth before he can start rambling—a tell-tale sign of his lies.
Scara snorts. "Oh? I didn't know Hei was afraid of ghosts and fictional monsters." He speaks teasingly. Kazuha throws his free arm around Heizou with a smile, "Kuni and I will be there to protect you, Zou. It'll be fun, promise!" Heizou frowns. "I'm a detective, I'm not scared." Heizou folds his arms over his chest. "Student detective," Scara corrects. "So what if you're a detective or not, you're still scared." Scara points out with a smirk. "Kuni, don't bully the poor guy." Kazuha tilts his head with a hinted teasing smile. Scara relents with a shrug and trails off to drink his tea.
Kazuha blinks—suddenly feeling his arms empty and turns around in confusion, promptly catching Heizou mid-step, tip-toeing away.
"Shikanoin." Kazuha scolds. He stills, turning around with a sweet smile. "Hey, Kazu..." Scara laughs. "Archons, that's so embarrassing." Kazuha gives Scara a look. He goes over to Heizou, throwing him over his shoulder without hesitation and completely spilling all of Heizou's drink. "Wha— what the hell," he struggles uselessly. "Your house or ours?" Scara asks Kazuha, (as if it matters at this point, as they all basically share houses. He's quite sure that he's wearing Heizou's pants and Kazuha's wearing his shirt)
"Doesn't matter, we can do mine," Kazuha says, seeming to share the same sentiments. Heizou goes limp in his arms, accepting his defeat. "Man alive," He pouts. "You both are horrible." He reminds the two. "You'll have fun, darling," Kazuha coos softly. "We'll play the scariest movie we have."
"...That's not comforting."
They get plenty of strange looks which Kazuha counters with a small reassuring smile, but unfortunately, that only causes onlookers to speed up their pace.
-
Heizou fidgets nervously with his hair as Scaramouche sets up the movie. He's only watched a horror movie once and he couldn't sleep for days—that was just two years ago so "nervous" is an understatement. He's sat comfortably in between Kazuha's thighs on the couch, he holds his middle protectively even though Heizou insisted that he is completely fine and not scared and-
Oh, he has a death grip on Kazuha's thigh.
Kazuha peeks over Heizou's shoulder to look up at Scara curiously. "How scary is it?" Scara shrugs, taking a seat beside Kazuha. "Tv ghost." He hints. Kazuha tilts his head. "The Ring?" Scara nods.
"See, you're fine, Zou! The Ring isn't scary." He's never watched it but from the name alone he'd like to beg to differ. "Whatever," He dismisses with an eye roll. Scara laughs, amused, and takes his hand off Kazuha's thigh. "You'd break skin with that grip." He teases, allowing Heizou to hold his hand instead.
Kazuha starts the movie and Heizou clings tighter to Scara's hand.
-
"So was it scary?" He hears Scara asking him.
"No." He deadpans, trying to get his hands to stop shaking. "You're shaking." Scara points out causally. "No, I'm not." He insists seriously. Kazuha pulls him closer raising a brow, though he chooses to ignore the unspoken question of his state. "I have to pee." He instead says, dryly. When Kazuha lets go of him so that he can do just that he makes no move to get up.
They stare at each other silently.
"Um," he murmurs. The corner of Scara's lip quirks up slightly as if he's restraining himself to smile, he doesn't want to laugh, it'll make Heizou upset. "You need us to walk you to the bathroom." He finishes for him, covering his mouth to resist the urge to laugh. Unexpectedly Kazuha is the first to break. "H-Heizou-" He bursts into a fit of laughter, instinctively bringing Heizou back closer as he tries restraining himself by muffling himself with Heizou's shoulder. Heizou sits there with an unappreciative pout, arms crossed and quickly Scara is next to follow.
"I-Im so sorry," Kazuha speaks between giggles. "It's just, you're just-" he snorts. "Way too cute," Scara laughs out, finishing Kazuha's trailed-off sentiment. Scara falls over, leaning heavily against Kazuha and Heizou as he is unable to contain himself.
Heizou pushes the two away from him. "You guys are mean." He sulks. Kazuha hugs him closer, "Darling, I'm sorry, you're just so cute." He gives him a soft kiss near his ear. Heizou pouts. "I really have to pee you bastards." Scara grabs his hand and pulls him up. "Okay, okay we'll walk you there."
Kazuha follows after them. When they make it to the bathroom Heizou makes sure to demand that Scara checks behind the door and shower curtain before he enters to pee, slamming the door shut behind him but leaving it unlocked—just in case.
He flushes, making sure to make excessive noise, and shuts off the lights—he's terrified, but he has to get payback so he hides behind the shower curtain. He's determined so he stands there quietly, covering his mouth to not make a sound. "Zou?" He hears the door open and—he guesses from the nickname and voice—Kazuha enters. Scara enters behind him and before Kazuha can switch on the lights he pulls him by the shirt, which he's pretty sure is his own. They crash into the tub together with a startled yelp from Kazuha. Alarmed, Scara doesn't miss a beat before he flips on the lights and throws open the shower curtain.
He visibly relaxes when he sees his two idiot boyfriends laying there in a slight daze from the fall. Scara snorts. "Idiot." He calls Kazuha. Kazuha gives him an expectant look. "Help us up..?" He says as if obvious. Scara rolls his eyes but complies nevertheless.
"Payback for you both being mean," Heizou states. Kazuha sighs. "Yeah, deserved. My life flashed before my eyes," Kazuha raises a teasing brow, "and I saw pure panic in Kuni's." He exposes. Scara frowns. "How else am I supposed to react when one of my boyfriends just disappear?"
Heizou laughs. "You're both idiots." He pauses. "But... I need you to walk me back to the living room now." He crosses his arms at their amused expressions. "It's both your own damn fault, bastards," he reminds.
Kazuha laughs. "Yeah, we're sorry, Zou. Forgive me?" He gives him a quick kiss on the lips but Heizou just pouts. "What? Why forgive you and not us?" Scara raises an eyebrow. "You don't deserve to be forgiven," Kazuha states dryly. "You're the one who told me to put on the scariest movie we own." Scara deadpans. Heizou glares at him giving him a light smack to his arm. "Kazuha." He scolds which the blonde just laughs. "You're both not-forgiven now walk me back!"
"Yes, sir." They oblige without hesitation.
-