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"Then... then it was all..." Ysayle fell to her knees, though she didn't seem to notice the pain of her knees striking the stone, nor her hands, which swiftly followed. Her silver hair hung down around her face, tears falling glimmering to the ground.
"It's best to leave her with her grief," said Estinien, and Shay grit her teeth at his voice. How dare he be so completely unaffected by what had just been revealed. That the noble order of the Knights Dragoon, which Shay had admired for YEARS, had been naught but an order built on lies. On deception. They were at war against the dragons, yes, using their power against them, the power of the great wyrm's eye, that was true. But the how of it was what had brought both Shay and Ysayle to a standstill. Or, well, it was mostly Shay who was affected by that little bit of knowledge.
"Then... should we even be fighting the dragons still?" Jaik asked, though Shay heard him only distantly, her steps instead taking her to Ysayle, kneeling beside her. She placed a comforting hand on the woman's back, Ysayle looking at the viera woman with tears in her beautiful ice blue eyes. Shay had never met a woman so beautiful, truly, not in all her travels. She was breathtaking, embodying the ice inside and out, the perfect vessel for the primal Shiva. Only now, it seemed, Shiva had never been this powerful being, had never even spoken to the woman before her.
There was more talk behind her, but Shay ignored it, placing her hand over Ysayle's in a gesture of comfort. It was only when her name was called that she turned her head to glare at the one who had spoken.
"Shay, leave her to her grief," said Estinien. "We have a dread wyrm to slay."
"No, you have a dread wyrm to slay," said Shay, her hackles rising, fur bristling, ears laying back. "I would stay with lady Iceheart, if it please you."
"Do what you want," said Estinien with a shrug.
"Shay, are you sure?" Jaik asked, approaching his cousin. The orange-haired viera gave her a worried look, concern glimmering in his green eyes.
"Yes," said Shay. "I'll be fine. Physically, anyway."
"I know you admired the dragoons," said Jaik. "It must be really hard."
"It is," said Shay. "Hence my need for some time and space."
"I'll give you all the time and space you need," said Jaik. "You know how to contact me if you need me. When you need me."
"Will you be alright, though?" Shay asked. "I'm supposed to be your bodyguard but... I can't fight like this. Not knowing what I know now."
"No, it's fine, really," said Jaik, pulling her into a gentle hug. He was always so warm and soft, her cousin. "Estinien's a good fighter, and so is Sam now. He's really good with that sword." Jaik blushed, sweeping a hand over his hair, and Shay gave him a knowing smile.
"Oh, is he, now?" said Shay, laughing at Jaik's blush. "Try not to have too much fun without me, now."
"As long as you'll be alright," said Jaik.
"I've seen what this woman can do. We'll be fine," said Shay. And, with one more hug, Jaik did go, following after his small party to seek out the dread wyrm Nidhogg and put him down for good.
"You didn't need to stay with me," Ysayle said softly once it was just the two of them. Even Hraesvelgr had departed, after breaking their hearts and crushing their spirits.
"This is as much for my sake as yours," said Shay, sitting down beside Ysayle.
"Truly?" said the other woman, sitting up from her former position of being on hands and knees. She drew her knees up to her chest, though. Like a small child. Shay's heart ached for her.
"Yes," said Shay, nodding. "Growing up, I heard many grand tales of the famous Knights Dragoon of Ishgard. I admired them, in truth. A battalion of soldiers, all trained to fight with a lance, all to protect their homeland. Tell me, what do you know of the viera, Ysayle?"
"Depressingly little, unfortunately," said Ysayle. "Your race is a secretive one, as you no doubt well know."
"So I have heard," said Shay. "From a young age, we are taught that those viera who identify as female are to defend their forest home, while those who identify as male must leave once they are ready. Unfortunately, this can often happen too soon, as was the case with Jaik. His father wanted him to go out and find himself, while his mother worried. And thus, I offered to join him, even if it meant leaving my home behind forever. Yet I must confess that it was not solely for Jaik's sake that I left the wood."
"But how came the tales of Ishgard to your forest home?" Ysayle asked. "Surely, it is a long distance to travel, no?"
"The viera women hear things on their patrols, as do the males on their travels, telling them to us when they return home from time to time."
"I see," said Ysayle. "It sounds... fascinating, truly. A race of warriors and travelers, roaming the land and protecting their homeland."
"It can be tough, but... I enjoyed it," said Shay. "Though there was always a part of me that longed to see beyond the walls of my home. Metaphorical walls, you understand. The trees." She was stumbling over her words, her cheeks heating at embarrassing herself in front of this beautiful woman. Ysayle was smiling, which did not help Shay any.
"And thus the legends of dragoons traveled to you," said Ysayle.
"Aye, they did," said Shay. "Ever since I was a little girl, the village elders, those who travel mostly, filled my head with tales of these people wearing spiked armour, executing amazingly high jumps, and slaying dangerous dragons. At least... I thought they were dangerous. Now, I'm not so sure."
"Dragons are still dangerous, regardless of how 'good' or 'evil' they are," said Ysayle. "And so it was even more of a surprise that Lady Shiva... if she even existed..."
"Shiva did exist," said Shay, placing her hand over Ysayle's, maroon eyes looking into silver. "Of that I am certain. Hraesvelgr said so himself."
"She existed, aye, yet it is not she who possesses my body when I transform," said Ysayle. "She was never the primal I imagined. For it was imagination, was it not?"
"It was after the calamity that you saw this, wasn't it?" Shay asked. Ysayle nodded. "I've heard that it confused a great many people, wiping memories as easily as it wiped out towns."
"And so my confused mind conjured a spirit whom I believed to be a primal," said Ysayle. "A primal who would save us all."
"You said that Hydaeyln spoke to you as well, did you not?" Shay asked.
"Aye," said Ysayle. "Telling me to go forth and vanquish the darkness. And then... oh. I fell asleep in the snow and dreamed of Shiva, and Hraesvelgr, and their love, and I awakened with that conviction in my heart."
"Little wonder, then, that you confused the two," said Shay. "But with your sheer conviction, you managed to create a powerful primal who could lead an army to fight those who would fight innocent dravanians."
"A worthless battle," said Ysayle. "A losing one, too. Nidhogg's rage is too powerful, he will consume Ishgard. Especially once the truth comes to light."
"But his anger won't end there, will it?" Shay asked. "Mayhap all mortals must perish in order to atone for his sister's death."
"Mayhap," said Ysayle. "Little use though it will be."
"Such rage will leave naught but ash, and still it will not heal his heart," said Shay. "Oh..."
"Are you speaking of Nidhogg now, or that dragoon brute?" Ysayle asked. Shay gave a sad smile.
"His quest for vengeance will not bring him closure," said Shay. "I only wish he could see that."
"And I wish that he would stop killing dragons," said Ysayle. "They are simply following a corrupt leader, one so twisted with hatred that he sees only the goal in front of him. As was your group."
"But you were the voice of reason," said Shay. "If you would continue with us-"
"Nay," said Ysayle, turning her head away. "I cannot continue, not now that I know that I am living a lie and have been for years. I feel a fool."
"You are not a fool," said Shay, turning Ysayle's face to look at her, cupping it in her hands. Ysayle looked up at her, Shay's heart beating fast. "Or if you are, you are no more a fool than anyone caught up in this war. Were I in your position, confused and lost and seeking direction, and I heard a voice who I assumed to be a former saint guiding my steps, I would have followed that voice wholeheartedly."
"I believe that you are smarter than that," said Ysayle.
"I believed in the dragoons for years, didn't I?" said Shay. "And now, I can barely stand to even wear this armour anymore."
"What will you do, then?" Ysayle asked.
"I don't know," said Shay, letting go of Ysayle's face. "Mayhap return to Ishgard, find another weapon with which to fight, learn a new way of fighting. And what of you? Hraesvelgr will not respond to you, and I hardly think that you would like to accompany us further."
"I must return to my believers, my followers, of course," said Ysayle. "Even if I may be a false god, they still need somebody to lead them. Yet I... I need time."
"I will stay with you, if you wish," said Shay. "Mayhap we can have a proper little journey exploring this place."
"With all of the relics of Shiva... I would rather not," said Ysayle. "Truly, nowhere is safe for me."
"Not if you go as yourself, maybe," said Shay. "But if you were to go in disguise..." They could just be adventurers, people who were so much more hiding their identity and going about as normal people, just like in some of the tales.
"That could be interesting," said Ysayle. "Pleasant, even. Yet... no, I cannot leave my followers. I'm sorry. Not with how hostile Ishgard is towards them."
"As you will," said Shay. On a whim, she plucked up Ysayle's pale hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Ysayle's cheeks reddened, her gaze cast downwards.
"I... know not what I have done to deserve such kindness," said Ysayle. "Many admire me, yes, but... not many of them desire me for any wholesome reason. And I was, until recently, your enemy."
"I admire your conviction, your strength," said Shay. "Your beauty." Ysayle smiled, her face warm enough that surely no eikon would be hidden within. Yet there was. Shay knew there was, had seen and fought it herself. Had fought alongside her, even.
"You are quite strong and beautiful yourself," said Ysayle. "Were circumstances different... I would have recruited you."
"I would join you regardless, knowing what I know now," said Shay. "Once I find a suitable weapon, I will fight for you, Lady Ysayle. For the dragons. They deserved so much better."
"Both sides did," said Ysayle. "I know not how this situation will resolve itself but... I feel confident in its outcome, knowing that you are by my side. Even if I am a false god."
"False or not, I will follow you," said Shay. "Always." And Ysayle smiled, one that almost reached her eyes.