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Soo, it’s time!
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the text message and glances at the time: 11:30 p.m sharp. Shutting his book close, he walks over to Chanyeol’s side of the room and turns on the palm size radio in the shape of a Rilakkuma. A funky and upbeat opening tune comes through the speaker and Kyungsoo plops into his roommate’s bed, already dreading what he is about to hear. He honestly has no interest at all in Jongdae and Baekhyun’s stupid radio show but recently, Chanyeol has been helping with production and occasionally making appearances. After having lived through a torturous five minutes of nonstop whining from his roommate, Kyungsoo finally agreed to tune in each week to help improve the show’s rating. So far, he thinks his prejudice against the show has proven to be fair but he cannot deny enjoying the giant’s deep, velvety voice over the speaker once in a while. Kyungsoo stifles a yawn and tucking himself into the giant’s blanket, he slowly breathes in the other’s lingering scent in the soft fabric. He hopes this week’s show will be less crude and more sensible, though probably unlikely.
Jongdae and Baekhyun are amateur radio DJs that host a pointless but mildly entertaining show on the university frequency every Thursday night between 11:30 p.m. and 12:00 a.m.. Actually, calling them amateur DJs may even be stretching it since the radio show only came to be because they’ve won a time slot on air from a bet. (How the administrations have overlooked this blunder and allowed their show to air still baffles Kyungsoo to no end.) The only reason they are still committed to the show is because they haven’t gotten bored of it yet. However it has been three months and Kyungsoo is already counting down the days before the show is pawned off to someone else once the troublemakers find the next best thing to be entertained with. Unfortunately, he knows those two too well.
The four of them have known each other since year one when they were allocated to adjacent dorms. Two people in a room, Kyungsoo is thankful his roommate is Chanyeol instead of the other two. He still remembers his first impression of his sunny roommate: tall, loud and maybe a little dumb. This is their third year living together and the impression hasn’t changed much: still tall, still loud, and maybe not too dumb and just a little adorable. All three of them can be an utter nightmare being children stuck in adult bodies, but Kyungsoo thinks Chanyeol is at least endearing. The way his face blooms into a toothy smile at the simplest pleasures in life, the low rumbling of his throaty laugh, and how he claps like a seal with his face all scrunched up whenever he is excited; gradually, the happy giant has wormed his way into Kyungsoo’s heart and set up camp for good. Despite his outwardly complain of how annoying Chanyeol could be, Kyungsoo secretly enjoys the other’s warm and joyful presence, even though he will never admit to that.
“Hello hello hello, happy Thursday night listeners! Welcome to another week of ‘What the hell are you talking about’, live radio chat show run randomly by students and made with no educational purpose in mind what so ever! I am your host number one, funky punky Jongdae the first,”
“and I am your host number two cutie pie of the century, Baekhyun with nutella abs!”
The show starts with the usual ridiculous opening and Kyungsoo snuggles more comfortably into the blanket. One good thing about Chanyeol not being in the dorm is that it gives Kyungsoo the chance to drown himself in the other’s comforting scent. Of course he would never tell the giant how good he smells. ‘That would only add more hot air into his big head,’ Kyungsoo thinks as he takes another whiff, ‘and he’s got plenty in there already.’
“Today, our topic is tsundere! Yes, tsundere. I’m sure many of you out there are already arching your eyebrow and quietly muttering ‘what the hell are you talking about?’ If you are, good! Because that is the point of this show!” Baekhyun hollers through the speaker and slightly annoyed, Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose.
“So tonight for our entire show and maybe not, depending on how we feel and if we get murdered half way through, hehehe, we will enlighten you about the world of tsundere.”
Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at Jongdae’s suppressed chortle and he can also catch Baekhyun’s muffled giggle in the background. A bad premonition stirs restlessly in the pit of his stomach as Jongdae continues to sass his listeners.
“So what is a tsundere, you ask? Well first, for all of you idiots out there, this isn’t an English term. Yes, shocking, I know, but we are not lying. This is actually a Japanese term and according to the almighty internet, namely the all-knowing wikipedia, a tsundere is defined as ‘a Japanese character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing their warm side over time.’ Does it ring a bell for someone around you?”
“Hehehe,” Baekhyun giggles, “I’m sure all of you can think of at least one person around you that’s a tsundere. You just didn’t know how to describe them before and now you do. You’re welcome. We are just doing our jobs. But just in case you’re still arching your eyebrow and still wondering, ‘what the hell are they talking about?’, then let us enlighten you by welcoming our guest of the night! Jongdae and I like to call him the tsundere expert since he has been living with one for three years already, huhu. But uh for personal reasons, more like personal safety reasons, our’s and his, we have decided to alter his voice. Anyway, without further ado, here is Mister PCY!”
Kyungsoo springs up and he sends a glaring look at the small radio. He isn’t sure what is annoying him more right now: the fact that Chanyeol is known as a so called ‘tsundere expert’ or that his alias is so poorly made.
“Hello everyone!” a squeaky and obviously modified voice that resembles Alvin the Chipmonk sounds through the wires and Kyungsoo’s eye twitches. “I am Mister PCY!”
“Welcome, welcome, and thank you for joining us tonight! Now Mister PCY, is it true that you have been living with a tsundere for the last three years?”
“Um, it’s true that I have been living with him for the past three years but I am not so sure if he is a tsundere. Baekhyun keeps insisting that he is and i-”
“Nonsense!” Baekhyun interrupts abruptly, “He is definitely a tsundere. I have already consulted my trusty source of all things anime and he is certain that your roommate is a tsundere. Now stop denying the obvious and answer our questions.”
A groan escapes from Kyungsoo’s lips and he has half a mind to murder Baekhyun and Jongdae right now. Crashing back into Chanyeol’s bed, he glares at the mysterious black spot on the ceiling as Jongdae’s voice fills the small room again.
“Okay, first question. How would you describe this person you live with? Would you say he’s a nice person? A mean person? An affectionate person? Or a cold person?”
“I think he’s an extremely nice person, though I think many people misunderstand him because he appears emotionless a lot. I think that’s just him being shy. He gets shy really easily and he tends to put up a front. I can tell because I watch him a lot, hahaha! He always looks like he’s walking around burning in muted rage, that’s what Baekhyun always says, but I think he’s just not good with expressing his emotions out loud, you know. He doesn’t talk much, but when we do talk, we have amazing conversations and he is very, very nice.”
“Ohh, it sounds like you have a very good opinion of this person,” Jongdae chuckles almost slyly. Kyungsoo can feel the temperature on his cheeks rising steadily and suddenly embarrassed, he pulls the blanket to cover most of his face with only his wide eyes peeking out. He doesn’t understand how Chanyeol could utter such embarrassing words so freely.
“Haha, yes I’d say so” the chipmunk voice laughs heartily, “he is definitely kind and also very warm hearted too. He may not show affection through words but I can feel it. Like whenever I’m sick, he may complain a lot but he always takes care of me until I’m healthy again. Oh, and whenever I forget to do my laundry, he remembers for me and does mine with his. Although, he does scold me afterwards pretty harshly, haha…”
“I see, huhu” Baekhyun answers and Kyungsoo could just imagine the roguish little grin he’s got on his face, “alright, next question! Have your relationship changed over the three years you’ve been living together and if so, how?”
“Has it changed? I don’t think so?”
“Hasn’t it?” Jongdae urges, “Think of the small things.”
“Like doesn’t he laugh and smile a lot more around you? Or maybe he looks at you a lot more?”
“Yes, small things like that,” Jongdae adds after Baekhyun, withholding his impulse to giggle, “or maybe his demeanour has softened around you? Even though he’s scolding you, he doesn’t have a bite to his words anymore?”
“Well,” the squeaky voice ponders for a moment before answering somewhat hesitantly, “I suppose he has softened up a lot. But I never thought he was that harsh to begin with so I guess I haven’t noticed too much.”
“Yes well, you’re a basket of sunshine that never sees ill of anyone and not to mention you’re also as dense as a brick wall sometimes…”Baekhyun mumbles, “but anyway! The point is, he is much nicer and affectionate when he is around you compared to when he is around other people, correct?”
“Uh, yes? I mean he is definitely not like that around you,” the chipmunk voice cackles up in animation, “he always says Jongdae is not so bad because at least he has a brain, but you’re beyond help.”
Two sets of obnoxious laughter resound in the studio and Baekhyun’s whining voice tries to overpower them: “Hey that’s not nice! Mr. Tsundere, if you are listening and you better be; that’s not nice! I do have a brain and you just don’t know how to appreciate it, that’s all! Now enough about my brain, where were we? Oh yes, that person you live with acts differently around you compared to when he is with other people, right Mr. PCY?”
“I guess so? I thought I already answered this question.”
“Not guess so, definitely yes,” Jongdae answers firmly for him, “now here is something interesting I found on the trusty internet. It says that a tsundere only warms up around people they like. And in a manga, if their ‘dere dere’ or ‘lovey dovey’ behaviour persists over a long period of time around a particular person, they most definitely probably undoubtedly most likely is in love with that person. Three years is pretty long, I’d say?”
“What? No, wait we don’t live in a manga and what ar-“
“Jongdae’s right and I know he is right because, well he is Kim Jongdae so he must be correct.” Baekhyun interrupts again then shushes the muffled voice struggling to say something in the background, “Shhh... Do you understand the implication of this, Mister PCY?”
Kyungsoo slowly disappears into the blanket cave he has constructed and squeezing his eyes shut, he lets out a barely audible frustrated whimper. His cheeks are scorching and as red as a ripened apple. If one could die from embarrassment, he is pretty sure he would have died at least a thousand times over the last couple of minutes. He debated storming the broadcasting room to stop this abomination of a show but the thought of stepping outside the protection of his room made him feel even more embarrassed. Taking the whole of the blanket with him, he swiftly makes it back to his side of the room and angrily dials a call. Chanyeol’s altered and muffled voice is echoing in the background as Baekhyun speaks slowly but surely.
“It means that your tsundere of a roommate is definitely probably undoubtedly most likely in love with you. You’re welcome and congratulations!”
Jongdae cheers loudly and he also howls like a wolf a couple of times. The muffled struggling quiets down and among the cheering, Baekhyun’s cackle and feet stomping nosily on the floor, an antique telephone rings loudly. Glaring holes at the radio on the desk as he wraps the blanket tightly around him like a protective armour, Kyungsoo impatiently waits for the other end to pick up.
“Oh, a listener’s call?” Baekhyun says and after a brief shuffle, the call is picked up, “Hello, this is ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ on Thursday night! Who is sp-?”
“If you think this could easily be forgiven then you’re both so wrong.”
Then with a simple click, the call terminates and for a good second, only the sound of busy dial tone is being broadcasted. The hosts and guest are silent, caught off guard and slightly stunned by the incoming call. Letting out an awkward laugh, Jongdae quickly claps his hands together in applause.
“And thank you very much for coming to be our guest tonight, Mr. PCY!”
“Shit,” the chipmunk voice squeaks, “thanks for nothing, guys. I need to go.”
“Uh you can’t say that on broadcast,” Baekhyun says nervously but he is only answered by the sound of feet stomping away and the door slamming. “Heh… please ignore that, administrations. You’ve already over looked so many other things, this one little thing won’t matter that much, right?”
“Anyways, it’s um it’s already 11:45 p.m. and well, ahem, how about we play some songs, Baekhyun?”
“A wonderful idea, Jongdae! Let us enjoy… crap where is the song list… ah there is it! Okay, let us enjoy Red Velvet’s new album and we will start with uh… this one! Okay, alright, cool, here we go.”
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Cheerful music blasts from the radio and fills the small room. Kyungsoo is curled up into a ball on his bed with Chanyeol’s blanket and he listens dejectedly to the female voices singing about his exact feeling at the moment: dumb. It isn’t like he has never realized how he tends to soften around his giant of a roommate or how his heart flutters like it has wings whenever the other touches or smiles at him. His breath hitches when Chanyeol is too close and his limps freeze unnaturally, turning him into a robot. He hates that his palms becomes sweaty and his lips dry whenever they talk, and he hates it even more that his mind is nothing but a pot of stew whenever his roommate looks at him. Without knowing when, where, why or how, his world begins to seem a lot brighter whenever Chanyeol is around and as much as it makes him happy, it is also driving him crazy.
Kyungsoo has known it all along his feelings for the other boy, but just because he has come to recognizes it, it doesn’t mean he is ready to deal with it. He was content sealing everything behind a harden exterior and masking his feelings behind sharp words and distant actions. That was how they established their relationship at the beginning and Kyungsoo is not ready to change that dynamics between them. Frankly, he is afraid his feelings would put an irreversible dent between them and more than anything, he does not want to lose Chanyeol, even if he may never have a chance to voice his affections. So slowly, Kyungsoo built up this wall around his heart, albeit extremely weak against the attack of Chanyeol’s charms, and he carefully protected his fragile heart from what he thought would be the inevitable pain of rejection.
However now, without his consent and no thanks to his meddling friends, the walls he has built are knocked flat to the ground and all of his efforts gone to waste.
“What tsundere,” Kyungsoo mumbles and sniffles, curling up even tighter into the blanket, “fuck you Baekhyun and fuck you too, Jongdae.”
Suddenly, the door to his room bursts open and closes with a click, all within a second. Fully aware of who has returned, Kyungsoo pulls the blanket tightly over his face and he shouts in a shaky voice.
“Go away Chanyeol! I don’t want to talk!”
The giant pants heavily and kneels down by his roommate’s bed. Watching the sphere of scrunched blanket, his blanket at that too, he bites into the bottom of his lip to stop a wide smile from stretching across his face. He has always thought Kyungsoo’s habit of curling into a ball whenever he is frustrated or scared adorable but obviously this is not the time to comment on that.
“Kyungsoo, I want to talk,” Chanyeol says softly and rubs his hand gently on his roommate’s bowed back, “you don’t have to look at me but can we just talk? If you don’t want to talk, can you at least hear me out?”
There is a brief silence before a quiet grunt sounds from the depth of the blanket armour. Sighing in relief, Chanyeol sits on the floor with his legs folded and keeping a comforting hand on Kyungsoo’s back, he speaks quietly.
“First of all, I apologize for Baekhyun and Jongdae for being assholes. You know they don’t mean harm but sometimes they do take it too far. They probably think they are doing us a favour but saying those things they did and I don’t agree with them. They are truly each other’s worst influences but don’t lump me with them! I didn’t know tonight’s show would have turned out the way it did or else I promise I wouldn’t have participated!”
Chanyeol pauses and carefully glances at where he assumes Kyungsoo’s face would be. The room lapse into another round of silence until another quiet grunt is heard. Cracking a smile and taking the slight reaction as an encouragement, Chanyeol rocks back and force in his spot and continues to talk.
“You know, Baekhyun keeps insisting that you’re a tsundere and I don’t know if you are one or not, but it’s just… like I whine and I complain about how you’re really cold to me sometimes, and tease you incessantly just so I can incite an reaction out of you. I even annoy you until you snap just so I can have your attention… but, you know, I’m immature and I just want you to notice me, that’s all… well, I’d be lying if I said I am not hurt when you ignore me and I guess if I convince myself that you’re a tsundere, then I’d feel better about why you’re cold to me sometimes… ”
Chanyeol ruffles his hair and exhales another sigh. His shoulders slump and his back crouching like a cat’s, he plops his head by the edge of the bed.
“But then recently, I realized I was wrong. I realized that you were not cold or mean to me, you were just shy and unlike Baekhyun, Jongdae and I, you’re the type of person that needs their own space once in a while. As much as I want to stay with you all the time, you may not want that, even if you like me as much as I like you.”
Kyungsoo jumps a little at Chanyeol’s words and his body stiffen. Thousands of thoughts bounce off of the inside of his skull and his brain unable to make sense of anything, the jumble mumble of thoughts all fall into the pot of stew his mind has already transformed into. Unaware of his roommate’s impending mental breakdown, a small grin tugs on Chanyeol’s lips as he whispers at his blanket.
“I figured out just a few weeks back that you probably like me and before you freak yourself out, I really like you too. If you wonder how I figured it out, well, I am neither as dense as you and Baekhyun think I am nor are you that great at hiding the emotions in your eyes. You should reconsider becoming a spy in the future in case you were thinking of taking that career path.” Chanyeol chuckles at his own joke and ignoring his roommate’s lameness, Kyungsoo remains frozen inside the blanket.
“Anyway,” the giant picks up where he left off and rubs his hand on the other’s back again, “I didn’t want to confront you about your feelings because I wasn’t sure if you’ve realized it or not. Or I thought that if you have, I’d rather you tell me yourself. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about breaking the current dynamics between us and honestly, I wasn’t sure if I am brave enough to do that either. What if I am wrong and what if I am just being narcissistic thinking that you like me; I can’t help but think that way sometimes… Do you understand what I am saying, Kyungsoo?”
Touched and shocked by the similar sentiment Chanyeol is feeling, Kyungsoo sniffles again and nods. He has been so absorbed in his own feelings and wary of getting hurt, he forgot to consider Chanyeol’s feelings. Taking a deep breath, he loosens the fabric hiding his face and carefully, he peeks at the giant smiling at him.
“What if you are wrong?” Kyungsoo whispers and the smile on Chanyeol’s face falters in a flash.
“Then I’m screwed, I guess…”
Their eyes lock and holding a steady gaze, both young men blink at each other without saying anything. Finally, Kyungsoo looks away first with blushing cheeks and he mumbles: “Well, you’re lucky you’re right.”
The smile of sunshine returns on Chanyeol’s face and he reaches out to pull Kyungsoo’s fabric wrapped body closer to him.
“I really really like you, Kyungsoo! I want to kiss you and do other things with you but for now I am okay with just hugging you an-OUF!”
The giant falls to his back from a strong shove by Kyungsoo, who has released himself from the blanket cave and his face is as red as a tomato. Tossing the blanket, then the pillow and whatever he could grab in his hands, he huffs at the taller man yelping and avoiding all of his attacks on the ground.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Park!”
“What, I just said I want to kiss you and do other things, ow! Stop tossing books at me, books hurt! Ow! I said I will settle for a hug for now! Ow, Kyungsoo! I just want a hug!”
Kyungsoo pauses midst of his tossing and chest heaving, he watches as Chanyeol pouts at him like a hurt puppy, limps sprawled out everywhere and sitting flat on his bottom. At the sight of the other’s puppy eyes, Kyungsoo’s heart could not help but swells with tenderness and strength seems to leave his body along with any negativity he was feeling. Dropping the book in his hand, he gathers his courage and hops down from the bed. Then kneeling in front of the man he has absolutely no resistance against, Kyungsoo opens his arms wide.
“Just a hug, then,” he mumbles shyly, his cheeks warm. Chanyeol’s eyes light up and letting out a happy chuckle, he tugs on Kyungsoo’s arms and smacks their lips together.
“As if,” the sneaky giant whispers against the pair of full lips he has been dreaming to devour. Before Kyungsoo could wave his fists and raise his voice again, Chanyeol locks their lip once more and they melt into each other’s arms like ice creams under the sun. Their limps tangling and their bodies pressing seamlessly together, they become completely absorbed in each other and nothing else.
On the desk, Baekhyun’s voice blasts through the speaker but he is no longer heard.
“And that wraps up this week’s ‘What the hell are you talking about’! We sure had a wild ride of a show tonight haha!”
“Tell me about it, phew. But judging from the fact that we didn’t receive another angry call or any text messages wishing our death, I am going to assume all is well between Mister PCY and his tsundere roommate.” Jongdae says happily but the couple in question are already too busy making out to pay attention to his show, “Well, I’m pretty sure they are not listening anymore. Anyhow folks, time is up and we’re going to sign off. This is has been your host number one, funky punky Jongdae the first,”
“And this has been your host number two, cutie pie of the century, Baekhyun with nutella abs. Thanks for listening to our ridiculous show this week, and we hope you guys will tune in again next Thursday! Bye bye!”
“Bye bye!”
FIN.