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For the umpteenth time this morning, you let out a dreamy sigh. From the corner of your eyes, you see Tsireya shake her head. "Just go and talk to them. Then you'll know that they are not so bad," she says, gesturing towards the Sullys who were currently practicing their breathing with Rotxo. Tsireya was right there teaching them with him earlier, but when she saw you peeking at them from up a boulder at a distance, she apparently decided that her quest for today was to finally convince you to approach them.
She climbed up to meet you with a knowing smile before pointing at each of them. "That one beside Rotxo is Kiri, she's a very fast learner," she says, "the small one is Tuk, she's very sweet. The boy over there is Lo'ak, and beside him is his older brother named Neteyam."
You listened to her with a pout, knowing that you won't need the information anyway.
You found them interesting, not so much in the beginning, no. You were wary of them, they were so different, and It didn't help that everyone collectively grimaced in disgust when it was revealed that they had demon blood, even though you didn't understand why. But they all look so warm and welcoming, especially now. (It might just be the certain, soft warm glow from the sun that makes it look like so, but still.)
"You know I can't, Tsireya. Mother would kill me if I so much as stand within arms reach." Your friend only giggled.
"You're a very persuasive girl, my friend. I'm sure your mother will change her mind about them. Now, how will you convince your mother of their kindness when you haven't experienced it yourself?"
You narrow your eyes at her, fighting back a goofy smile. "You're pretty persuasive yourself."
"You only think so because you actually want to approach them. You just need a few extra nudges."
You shake your head. "I told you, I can't." You nearly whine.
"...not a few nudges then, perhaps a full-on shove?
"A what now?" You begin to ask, but you could only yelp as she shoves you off the boulder. You cried out, only for it to get cut off as you land in the water. You scoff at her playfulness, causing bubbles to block your view.
You resurface, sputtering, still reeling from your shock (and amusement) and you hear her quite disrespectfully giggle at you from up the boulder. You crane your neck to send her a playful glare.
"Are you okay?"
You whip your head towards the unfamiliar voice, squinting. You raise your hand up to shield yourself from the harsh glare of the setting sun, your eyes adjusting, slowly making sense of the person's feature.
Truly, it felt like you were gazing upon something sacred, like Eywa herself sent you a guiding spirit with eyes that are pure melted gold, poured from a sun on the brink of an eclipse. It was mesmerizing.
Neteyam looked down at you from his Ilu, hands slowly reaching towards you, unsure if you'd let a stranger near but he keeps it there anyways in case you truly were in need of assistance.
"What?" You ask, feeling a little dumb as you stare at the rather magnificent picture.
He tilts his head in confusion. "Tsireya called out, she said you slipped and hit your head—"
You struggle to hear whatever he was trying to say at the end, his voice being cut off by the sound of Rotxo laughing, and the others floundering about in the water as they arrive. "She's fine," he says. "I saw the whole thing." He looks up to send a knowing look at Tsireya who only giggles as she moves to go back down from the boulder.
You blink rapidly, trying to gather your scattered thoughts. What are you supposed say?
You stare blankly at Neteyam, some of your hair were in your mouth and you remember the not-so-graceful way you whipped your head towards him earlier, squinting at him. You must've painfully looked like an idiot, because you see Rotxo cringe and you realize distantly that you were still staring.
"What's up with her?" You hear Lo'ak ask.
Neteyam stares back at you, his hands still hovering and you see him hesitate. Rotxo turns away, as if watching you was too painful, still, you do not miss the subtle shaking of his shoulders, it was what snapped you out of your daze and you reel back, laughing awkwardly. Neteyam raises both his eyebrows, his eyes flickered from yours and to his siblings in confusion. You curse at yourself instantly, wishing for an Akula to just eat you up.
"You must be..." The girl named Kiri trailed off, her voice startling the uncomfortable silence your awkwardness settled in the atmosphere. Rotxo provides her your name and Kiri nods. "Tsireya speaks of you. She says you're the best singer in the village."
"Ah, hehe." You chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your nape sheepishly. "I wouldn't say that I'm the best—"
You yelp as Ao'nung rose from the water, his eyes staring straight at yours. He came seemingly from out of nowhere.
"Ao'nung? Weren't you…Where'd you even come from?" You ask, positively flabbergasted at his sudden appearance. He was supposed to be out with his father. You cross your arms. "I bet you’re slacking off again, Aren’t you supposed to be with the chief?”
"I was." His answer came in a short burst. As if he couldn't be bothered to answer you properly. Then he scans you like a mother checking her child for injuries, before letting his gaze wander back to your eyes then at the others who came to help you and you realize the gravity of your situation.
You feel yourself frown before you could control your expressions. "I'm really sorry for disturbing your lessons." You say, mostly facing Rotxo, who in turn, shakes his head, smiling at you. He's always been so patient and nice, just a little prick sometimes, mostly when Aonung's around. Together, they were little teasing menaces.
You hear Tsireya before you see her, grinning at you as she floats in the water by your side. "Well, I'm just glad you're okay, my friend." She sighs in relief (as if she wasn't the one who pushed you off).
You lean closer to her and whisper, "you're lucky you're the chief's daughter."
She giggles as she rests her hand on your shoulder before approaching the others. "We could always use another's help. Perhaps my friend can also help with teaching?"
"Oh, well. If it's alright with her to…" Neteyam answers. You inwardly cringed. They must've thought that your hesitation to receive help from them stems from the skepticism and disgust that the rest of the village doesn't bother hiding towards them.
"I want to…help, I mean. I did cause quite a ruckus. Let me make up for it," you say, smiling. You felt relieved that you didn't stutter once. You've already made a fool of yourself enough to give you nightmares for 3 weeks.
"How did you manage slip from there anyway, that's always been your spot." Ao'nung tilts his head back to look down at you through the bridge of his nose. You couldn't stop your face from scrunching up at his words, it heralds an incoming torrent of nagging. You knew that he would start if you so much as wince in pain. You appreciate his concern, but you hate how he makes you sound so weak and fragile, and in front of these people you’re trying to befriend!
"It was my fault, really. We were messing around," Tsireya says, raising her hands. You thank Eywa that she hasn't completely abandoned you to your own clumsy social skills.
"Yeah, and what's up with you? Why are you suddenly here?" You ask, turning to face Ao'nung, genuinely curious, but also flinging towards him a vindictive glance
"I heard you scream and I thought you needed help…" he starts, then he glances at Neteyam. "although someone's already beaten me to it." With that. Ao'nung nods at you before diving back in and swimming away.
You feel a headache slowly seeping into your head. Ao’nung left as fast as his sudden arrival, and it irks you just as much as it confuses you; his cryptic behavior, worried glances but searing choice of words, his awful timing…
"Wow, so he can actually talk without outright insulting anyone," Kiri says.
Tsireya giggles as she gives you a look you don't bother to decipher.
"Are you really okay? You look a little dazed." You turn towards the voice by your side. You almost squeal in delight as the youngest of the Sullys look up at you with her wide eyes.
"Oh she's fine. She's just extremely shy." Rotxo says, waving his hand around in a dismissive manner.
"Okay, okay. How about we stop wasting time on me and resume the lesson, yeah?" You say, having had enough of this, whatever this whole predicament was. You couldn't say it was all bad though, since you finally succeeded in introducing yourself to the Sully kids. There may have been better ways to do it, preferably without making such a racket, but it is what it is.
⏳⏳⏳
Throughout your childhood, Aonung was always there. He was your first, and most eager listener. He always went along with you whenever you would go out and practice your singing, claiming to be your protector, your guardian. He always has his eyes on you, always listening to every single word you say. You especially notice this whenever you were hanging out with the other kids. No one really asks for your opinion, and nobody expects you to contribute to the conversation, so much so that you feel like you only open your mouth when you sing during shared gatherings. But Ao'nung was different. He always asks you what you think, always prodding you to speak your mind, always glaring sharply at anyone who tries to talk over you.
And he is always hovering around you. It was at first, stifling, until you decided that perhaps he simply enjoyed your companionship. Even now that he avoids you, refusing to be around you for long, like your mere presence burns him, he still doesn't completely abandon you. And it makes you furious, more confused than mad, of course. First he barges into your life, spending almost every waking moment with you only to suddenly shove you away, still keeping you within eyesight but refusing to even approach you. You don't think that he suddenly doesn't want you as a friend anymore, it is evident in the way he looks out for you, even indirectly.
You spend the next few days hanging out with the Sullys, much to your parent's chagrin. They do nothing to stop you though, you figured they've either given up on you, or trust that you know what's good for you.
Neteyam was, in almost every way, especially nice to you. You don't think that it was because you completely dazzled him with your amazing existence, making him fall madly in love with you, no. His way of showing care was almost aggressive, like he was trying to prove a point or something. And you're only able to notice because you've sharpened your observation skills instead of your speaking skill. You weren't completely stupid…you noticed that Neteyam becomes incredibly touchy and sweet whenever Ao'nung was around. You quite enjoyed the situation, you can't lie.
Also, you've never hung out with so many friendly people before. You miss Ao'nung though. And of course, because of that, confrontation was inevitable.
"You wanna know why I've been avoiding you?"
He asks but he doesn't wait for you to answer before he continues.
"It's because you keep hanging around those freaks. You wanna be an outcast by associating yourself with them, then go ahead."
He doesn't mean it, he really doesn't.
You shake your head. "I was already an outcast, Ao'nung. And frankly, I'd rather be one than associate myself with your friends—" You raise your hand up to silence him, you were not done yet. "—and I know for a fact that you no longer see them as freaks. I might even say that you've started to treat them with respect. You can see them now, Aonung. I know it. So why are you suddenly back to saying such rude words about them?"
He exhales a deep, exasperated breath, his head pounding with all the words he wants to say but couldn't.
You wait for him to gather his thoughts.
"He…" Aonung started. "Yes, what you said is true. I've…they've grown on me, those Sully brats…"
His gaze flickers back to you.
"But he— that Neteyam. He's obviously aiming for you."
You frown in confusion. "He's what? Aiming for me? With what? I don't think—"
He rolls his eyes. "What I meant was he's seriously considering you as a mate."
With his answer, you felt even more confused.
"I think that is highly unlikely. It's too early for him to choose a mate and even more unlikely for him to choose me. What am I supposed to do when there's a war, huh? Sing the enemies to death?"
"There's more to choosing mates than just their assets, their worth, during a war."
"But he's a chief, he can't just marry anyone."
He sighs. "A chief's mate doesn't always have to be a tsahik…you do know that right?"
"No no no. Still, it's impossible. He hardly even knows me and—" your gaze sharpens towards him. "Even if, for some reason, he wants me as his mate, what's it to you? And why would you avoid me because of that?"
He scoffs. "I was not avoiding you. I was simply giving you space."
You give him the stinkiest grimace you could manage. "Explain…"
He clicks his tongue in annoyance, rubbing the back of his neck. He gestures with his hands as he tries to do as you asked. "I was furious—"
"What did I do?"
"—not at you." He sighs again. "At myself."
You stare blankly at him.
"You mentioned earlier that it was too early for Neteyam to choose a mate, but courting takes time, just like how I've been courting you since we were kids. I'm not done explaining yet," he says when he sees your confused frown. "I was angry when I saw how happy you were with your new friends. (Again, angry at myself) You should know that you're actually pretty popular among the boys in the village. The reason they do not even attempt to approach you is because they know I like you. I did not mean to…It was not my intention to make you lonely. I did not know that it would make the girls dislike you and I'm sorry for that. Now, the reason I avoided you was because the Sullys offered friendship, something that you weren't able to have in your own home, because of me. I distanced myself because I realized that I took you for granted. I used my position as a guarantee that no one else would try to court you. I was selfish and it made you…it turned you into an outcast…"
You hardly knew how to react, and you, in an attempt to try and make sense of things, stammer over your words, a torrent of sentences that makes absolutely no sense pouring out of your lips. Finally, you pinch the bridge of your nose and you take a deep breath.
"You give yourself too much credit, Ao’nung."
He raises his head to look at you.
"My social life was already done for, even before your supposed destruction of my potential relationships."
"No, it is my fault. You are not some property or a thing to be claimed. It's my fault that the boys…I feel like I ruined your chances to choose whoever you may want."
"Ao’nung…Even if that is so, they are not worth my time if they are too scared of you to even try to talk to me. It means they do not like me enough. My point is—listen—my point is that you should not blame yourself for something that you cannot control. Seriously, d'you think everything that's happened in my life is caused somehow by your decisions? You idiot."
He bites his lip, eyes narrowing in deep thought.
"Okay, it sounded a little less conceited in my head. But that's how I feel."
"I understand…what I don't understand is the whole 'I have been courting you since we were kids' thing."
"What's so hard to understand about that? I like you. I love listening to you sing. I love spending time with you. You're kind. You never talk bad about anyone, you actually cared about me and wanted to be my friend not just because I’m the chief’s son…You gave me flowers, you wrote songs about me, (I am partial to the ones about us on an adventure, by the way) you make me feel warm and appreciated. I adore you…I pine for you.”
"...Oh, wow. Sorry, this is a lot to take in. And I didn't even notice that you were courting me."
"I still am. You have no idea how much you mean to me," he says, looking at you through his ridiculously long eyelashes, his ears flat against the side of his head.
You feel your chest tighten at his words. Why he hadn't told you this before, you do not know.
"You can't just. Why, I never even…" You trail off as he holds a hand up.
"Now, I'm wondering if I was being too subtle, or if you're just too dull."
"Hey, that's not nice."
"Kind of hard to be nice when the person you adore is fawning over a foreigner."
"I was not." you huffed.
"I know. I'm sorry for saying that. It's just, I never seem to know what to say. I know what I want to say but I can't put it into words that would perfectly describe it."
"It doesn't need to be. Also, are you kidding me? That confession was perfect!”
Ao’nung groaned, running his hand down his face. “Okay, stop.”
“It was heartfelt, and poetic.” You see his tail wagging sideways from behind him.
“And,” you continue, your voice carrying venom. “It’s the most you’ve said to me for days!” You punch his arm and he glares at you, mumbling something about ruining the mood.
"Y'know what? I'm gonna write a song about you, about how stupid you are." You say, still seething.
"As long as it's about me…" He shrugs, stepping closer towards you, grinning like a fool.
"You asshole." You say, but without any real anger.
He hums. "Well, I'm your asshole…"
You both frown as you take in his words.
"Okay, that did not—"
"Uncalled for." You shake your head.
"That was not what I…wow, it did not sound romantic at all, I don't know why I…"
"I feel violated…"