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"I intend to wed, the Lady Alicent Hightower, before spring's end."
Her father's words reach her ears, but she does not understand them. Rhaenyra feels misplaced, led astray.
She doesn't understand.
Through her tears, she finds her.
Alicent only answers with a look, it lasts less than a moment as she tears her eyes away, maintaining her gaze on the ground.
This was not supposed to happen.
The King was to wed Laena Velaryon, 'a duty', he vowed to Rhaenyra, one he demanded for her to understand.
And she did, she understood.
But now she is lost.
A promise broken; her father does not intend on picking up the pieces.
"This is an absurdity."
A plain betrayal, loaded and lethal.
Rhaenyra remains staring at Alicent, she wants to scream, grovel.
Look at me, Alicent.
The least you can do is look at me.
Rhaenyra is pleading for her helm, her guiding light, something to break her fall.
Alicent does not catch her, and the searing pain in her chest dulls. There is only rage.
"Rhaenyra." Her father tries but the Princess flees.
Thundering of armor trails closely behind her, incessant, harsh.
Rhaenyra's thoughts initiate a brawl against the noise, over it, alongside it.
They aim to deafen, they demand to be heard. Cleaving to her mind, the fight rapidly builds into a pounding ache. It is all too much, too loud.
"Do not follow me!" She doesn't look back but the clanging of armor ceases.
The voices in her head contained, although cleaving still.
Rhaenyra continues her journey, she considers mounting Syrax, so that she may flee, far away and stay hidden.
Her mind compels her to remain; her heart wants for nothing of the sort.
Rhaenyra's soul calls for solace, so she seeks it.
-
A familiar Weirwood tree coming into view, she can breathe again.
Its leaves are a poignant, bleeding red, she imagines it equivalent to the raging fire thriving in the depths of her.
Rhaenyra extends an arm, her palm against the wood, a hardened exterior; she is envious.
She trails its dips and grooves, a wretched need to feel something, nothing.
Anything that does not demand a reaction.
The attempt to distract fails miserably, her memories taken hold with ill intent, contemptuous and taunting.
She pictures herself, laying on the grass, Alicent by her side. A warmth Rhaenyra once relished in, now scalded her to the touch.
She was charred and tossed aside.
Abandoned, with blinding rage and profound bitterness. A wrath so unwelcomed and persistent, it insists on making itself a home inside of her.
The Princess studies the tree once more, its roots, and where they may lead. An undetermined yet assured darkness, hidden from the world. She shuts her eyes, wishing the ground would take her.
This reality demands too much, and she wants no part of it. To be an entity subsisted in the Godswood, completely impartial, entirely unaffected, is to be free.
"Rhaenyra."
Alicent's voice clutches onto her, a force she has never been able to contest.
"Rhaenyra, I am so sorry."
Alicent's apology feels like a dagger directly through her chest, a violent ache that spreads.
"Please, I never meant for any of this to happen." Alicent sobs and Rhaenyra finally turns to look at her, only to scowl.
The other girl's eyes brimming with tears. Rhaenyra's heart would break at the sight, if it wasn't already shattered.
An eye roll was all she could afford before attempting to walk away. Rhaenyra nearly slips past Alicent but a hand gripping her forces her to stay.
"Rhaenyra, please."
Alicent's touch was light but the Princess winces.
"What the fuck do you want me to say, Alicent?" She barks, and the other girl flinches.
"Just allow me to explain, please." Alicent says and Rhaenyra's forces a stony gaze.
The Princess rips her hand out of the other girl's hold, before folding her arms across her chest.
"Go on, Alicent. If you truly are as innocent as you claim to be." "Help me understand." Rhaenyra steps closer, invading Alicent's space.
The other girl cowers slightly, and it motivates Rhaenyra to remain in her proximity.
"Why does my father think he has a right to claim your hand in marriage?" Rhaenyra asks through gritted teeth, the longer Alicent took to speak the more agitated she grew.
"Shortly after your mother died, he found a companion in me." Alicent finally admits, and Rhaenyra scoffs.
Stepping back, she creates a distance between them once more.
"You seduced him." The Princess hisses and Alicent grimaces.
"I offered His Grace comfort, in his time of need." Alicent counters, Rhaenyra is unconvinced and beyond enraged.
The Princess' expression fails to soften and Alicent tries again.
"He grew fond of me, perhaps, but Rhaenyra, I swear– I did not foresee this." The auburn haired girl admits, frantic and distressed.
Rhaenyra wants to believe her. She observed as Alicent lifted her thumb to her mouth, gnawing at her cuticle.
Punishing herself.
The Princess tries, but fails, she no longer feels compassion. Only her distaste and frustration.
Rhaenyra begins backing away, Alicent quickly steps closer, uninvited.
"I am no longer certain that I know who you are, Alicent." Rhaenyra shakes her head, exasperated.
"Were your intentions with me ever true?" Rhaenyra taunts, a true sorrow within her.
A sob falls out of Alicent's lips and the Princess clenches her jaw, she refuses to allow her own tears fall.
"I care for you so deeply Rhaenyra, you must know this." Alicent pleads.
"It was never my desire to hurt you." She reaches out, boldly placing both hands against Rhaenyra's jaw.
To her relief, the Princess doesn't fight her hold.
Under Alicent's touch Rhaenyra is frozen, defeated. It is only after a heart beat when she finally retrieves her countenance.
Alicent's words work not to soothe her, only sinking the knife deeper into her back, wounding her permanently.
Rhaenyra scowls.
"I curse the day you were born, Alicent Hightower." "I despise the Gods for putting you in my path." A combination of hurt and resentment, Rhaenyra's words are venomous.
Alicent stumbles backwards as if she'd just been struck, her hands fall from Rhaenyra's face.
The Princess has succeeded in wounding Alicent, but she returns from the battle empty-handed. Certain that it was not a triumph, nothing of the sort. Rhaenyra remains hollow, exposed.
It only provokes more anger.
"I do not want you around me ever again, do you understand?" Rhaenyra's face inches too close, her tone unforgiving.
This time Alicent doesn't flinch but her eyes remain fixed on the ground.
"I never want to see you again." Rhaenyra spat.
Incapable of standing in the other girl's presence a moment longer, she storms out of the Godswood.
The Princess continues walking and she doesn't stop, not even at the sound of Alicent weeping.
Rhaenyra clutches her chest, she struggles to breathe, the weight of her anguish much too burdensome.
She vows to never subject herself to such torment again.