Chapter Text
Even from a young age, Ryouma didn't know what it was like to be loved. His parents didn't ever seem to care about him. All he was to them was an accessory to flaunt around to their friends. Their brilliant child.
Ryouma was only eight years old when he ran away from home. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand to remain in that house a moment longer. Nothing but pain and suffering was there.
He didn't have a plan when he ran away. Ryouma just wanted to get out. Wanted to escape from that suffocating environment. He figured he could find what to do later.
Unfortunately, he ended up getting caught in a rain storm. Ryouma was shivering as he tried to find cover. He pressed himself into a small hole that was covered by a roof. He curled up and tried to stay warm.
He didn't know what to do now. He didn't know where to go. Would anywhere let a kid in without his parents? Would they just make him go home? He didn't want to go home. He never wanted to see that place again.
A shadow loomed over him, making him look up. A man stood before him. There was a gentle expression on his face as he stared down at Ryouma.
"Are you lost?" The man asked, kneeling down.
Ryouma shook his head.
"Are you all alone?"
He nodded.
"Would you like to come with me? I can give you a home. I'm sure you'll fit right in." The man held out a hand to him.
Ryouma trusted the man. Despite the countless warning to never trust strangers, he felt like he could. This man was kind. He wanted to help him. Everything would be okay.
He took the man's hand. They walked together for a while. At least he had an umbrella. Ryouma was still cold, though.
"What's your name? You can call me Amagi."
"Ryouma."
"It's nice to meet you, Ryouma. I'm sure we'll get along just fine."
If only he knew just what those words had actually meant back then...
...
Ryouma and Amagi arrived at a building. Ryouma was ushered inside quickly before he had a chance to try and read anything. Whwn they got inside, he was met with kids. There were other children here. Ryouma wasn't sure what to think.
He was taken elsewhere. There was another area. Amagi brought him inside and showed him to a room. There was not much inside. Just a bed and a dresser. There did seem to be a bathroom attached to it.
"Why don't you get settled in and dry off? I'll get you some fresh clothes to wear." Amagi prompted.
Ryouma nodded. "Thank you, Amagi-san."
Amagi smiled at him. "You're welcome, Ryouma. Welcome to your new home."
Getting settled in was easy. He was given some new pairs of clothes he could wear. He was given food that he had never even heard of before. Everything seemed like it was finally going his way for once. Maybe he found a place that would give him the love he never had?
Unfortunately that hope was crushed before long. Just as Ryouma had become accustomed to the new place and freedom, it was all ripped away from him in an instant.
It all started one day when Amagi had come to get him. He brought Ryouma to a place he had never been before in the building. There were many unfamiliar faces around. A lot of them stared at him. Ryouma felt uncomfortable with their gazes on him.
He clung to Amagi's side. Just where were they going? Ryouma didn't like the room. There were a lot of things in it he had never seen before. Things that gave off a threatening aura.
"Amagi-san? Where are we going?" Ryouma found the strength to ask him.
"You'll see, Ryouma." Was the only answer he got. That did nothing to comfort him at all.
The ended up in another room. There were some more people in it. And some children. The children were in different places, all being experimented on. Ryouma felt like he was going to throw up.
"Amagi-san. You've brought a new one?" One of the strange men asked.
Amagi nodded and pushed Ryouma forward. "Indeed. But, keep him in good shape. I have many plans for him still. He's far too valuable to lose."
"Understood. We'll take care to not harm him too much."
Amagi left the room. Ryouma rushed after him, but the door had already closed. He trembled and pressed himself against the door, warily eyeing up the scientist approaching him.
"L-let me go..." Ryouma pleaded.
"Aww... how cute." The scientist chuckled and then grabbed him.
Ryouma struggled against him grip to no avail. Before long, he had been restrained against a table. Two other scientists or whatever they were joined the first.
"Don't worry. This'll only hurt for a little while."
The next few hours were some of the most painful ones that Ryouma ever experienced. He could barely recall much of what they had actually done to him, but could remember the horrible pain each test they did caused. All he knew was they kept poking and prodding him with various needles and things like that. At one point he recalled them almost eletrocuting him. They seemed to enjoy his pain.
Ryouma was nodding in and out of consciousness when he felt the restraints taken off. He was too disoriented to move. He simply laid there and watched as the blurry figures of his torturers moved around. There were voices, but he couldn't make out a word they were saying.
He didn't know how or when, but somehow he ended up in his room. He only became aware of the fact when his alarm went off in the morning. Ryouma shut it off and shakily pushed himself into a sitting position.
Everything hurt. He examined his body. There were some bruises here and there, but mostly no marks. That didn't change the fact his body felt like it was about to collapse.
Ryouma felt tears starting to form in his eyes. Was it from the pain or was it from the knowledge that the person he thought actually cared was just using him? Ryouma felt helpless. He couldn't do anything.
He had gotten himself into a horrible situation because he had stupidly trusted someone. And he knew there was no way out. Ryouma wasn't stupid. He knew if he dared stray from the routine someone would know. He had no hope of escape.
A knock sounded on the door. "Ryouma? Are you up yet?"
It was Amagi. Normally Ryouma was happy to see him, but now just hearing his voice made him feel sick. He had been betrayed by him.
The door opened. "Ryouma."
"Leave me alone..." Ryouma tried to be firm, but his voice trembled.
"Now, now." Amagi approached him. "There's no need for that."
"I... I hate you!"
"But I love you, Ryouma. I'm doing this so you can be so much more."
Ryouma shook his head. "I don't want it..."
"Be brave for me, Ryouma. You have so much potential you can achieve."
Be brave... Ryouma didn't know if he could be brave. How could anyone be brave in a situation like this?
Against his will, he was taken back to that horrible place. Amagi left him again. Left him alone as the horrible people in the room started doing things to him again.
Ryouma felt even more alone than he ever had before.
...
Years went by. Ryouma was stuck in the same routine. He was just past 12 years old now. Nothing got better for him.
The experiments changed, but the outcomes were all similar. It hurt so much. Ryouma didn't even know what they were doing to him, but he hated it. He was never explained any of the things they tested on him.
He had gotten better at distancing himself from the pain. He was able to zone out during most tests and ignore the pain. He hated that was something he needed to adapt to survive.
At least some of the tests they did were painless. Ryouma was glad for the days they would take his vitals and make sure he was still in decent health. That gave him some reprieve from the other tests. It also let him know he was still very much alive. Perhaps a reminder he didn't like.
Amagi kept telling him he was doing great. That this was all for his sake.
Ryouma figured by now that Amagi was just trying to manipulate him to be obedient to the tests. This wasn't about him. This was about whatever sick things this horrible group wanted. Ryouma was just a number to them. A statistic. He wasn't a human being to them at all.
Ryouna found out the hard way just how little they truly thought of him. Not only was he forced to sit through countless painful tests, but he soon was asked to do other... favors. Ryouma refused, but that just got him hurt.
He learned fast to just shut up and do as told. If he misbehaved, he was tortured. Tortured worse than those tests. Put through things no human should ever be put through.
That was the age when Ryouma finally lost all hope in everyone. He immediately assumed everyone was an enemy. Someone who would hurt him. And he was right every single time. Every person that he was allowed to meet was nothing but a monster to him.
He gave up on hoping for a miracle. He would never be saved. This was forever his life.
...
When Ryouma turned 17, things finally changed. Long had that cursed building been abandoned, but he was still forced to do things he didn't want to. Forced to work for Yggdrasil however Amagi wanted him to.
But now, he had been allowed freedom. Given the chance to work for Yggdrasil on his own. Away from those people who saw him as just a thing they could use as they pleased.
Ryouma swore revenge against them all. He'd bring this company to the ground. But for now, he needed to build trust. He needed to gain a good standing with the high-ups of the company. Then he could use his power and destroy them all.
He buried himself in research. Looking at ways to use the threat of Helheim to his advantage. What better way to destroy those people than with what they used to destroy him?
His research attracted many. Ryouma didn't care. He used those interested for his own tests, not caring how hurt they may get. It made him feel better being the one hurting others. He had the power now.
There was one thing that came from his sudden interest gain that Ryouma didn't like. He heard some rumors of someone from the Kureshima family asking about him. Ryouma felt sick at just hearing that name.
He thought he had escaped from him. But, what if Amagi came back? What if it was him that those rumors were about? Ryouma couldn't stand to see him again. He knew that Amagi would break him more if they met.
...
Ryouma finally found out who the rumors had been talking about three years later. His research had produced many exciting things. Things that had piqued someone's interest enough to finally come say hi.
When Ryouma realized who he was talking to, he got lightheaded. He felt his breathing quicken. Even if it wasn't Amagi... was his son much better? Being raised by such a cruel man had to brush off on him, didn't it?
Takatora asked for his help. Ryouma didn't know what to do. If he agreed... would he just get used again? But what if saying no got him hurt? Did he even have a choice in the matter?
"I... I look forward to working with you, Takatora." Ryouma agreed. He was too afraid to say no.
"Likewise." Takatora nodded to him. "Do you care if I ask some questions about your research right now?"
"No. Ask away." Ryouma put on a facade and answered whatever was asked of him.
The conversation was... normal. Ryouma wasn't used to this. Takatora let him speak without interrupting him. Let him say everything on his mind. Didn’t complain he was saying too much. Didn’t seem annoyed at how much he wanted to show off. He listened with interest to everything.
When he had been researching with everyone breathing down his back, he never was allowed to say much. He was used to only explaining the use of his idea. No one wanted to hear him say more.
"You're very talented." Takatora commented. "I'd never be able to have thought of any of this."
A compliment? Ryouma blinked at him in surprise. He wasn't ever complimented like that. It was always about how good it was the he was there for everyone else's gain.
"I... thank you." Ryouma stumbled over his words.
"I think you and I can achieve a lot together. We can save humanity."
We. Not him. Both of them.
"I... I hope so."
...
Takatora was confusing. He was nothing like Ryouma had anticipated. He was so much kinder. And genuine with his kindness. There was no hidden reason for him being nice. That was just how he was.
It was ironic. How had such a horrible man managed to raise a son so unlike him? Did Amagi even know his son was this way?
Ryouma learned before long that Takatora wasn't aware of anything his father had done. He was blissfully unaware. That was a little bit of a relief to Ryouma. That meant he was safe from Takatora knowing his past. Safe from ever potentially having his trauma used to make him comply.
The two grew closer as the days went on. Takatora was always willing to listen as Ryouma talked about his ideas. Ryouma enjoyed having someone who finally seemed to understand him. Someone who actually seemed to care about him for reasons other than his own gain.
Ryouma was working away on designing things as he did. Takatora had come in to his lab not long ago. He was standing off to the side, observing.
Ryouma went to push two pieces together, when his hand slipped and got cut. He winced and pulled away. The cut wasn't deep, but it was bleeding quite a bit.
Before he could even think of what to do about it, a hand grabbed his wrist and a tissue was held against his cut. Ryouma blinked at Takatora. He had reacted so fast.
"Sit down. I'll get a first aid kit." Takatora said.
Ryouma complied and took a seat. Takatora grabbed the kit and returned. He tossed the tissue away and began cleaning the cut. Ryouma watched, wincing in pain a bit.
"You didn't have to do that. I could've handled it." Ryouma mumbled as Takatora began carefully wrapping his hand up.
"Taking care of a cut with only one hand seems hard." Takatora replied.
"I... guess you have a point."
Ryouma still wasn't used to having someone care about him. He had long since thought that was an impossible scenario for him to ever come across.
"Do you not want my help? You always brush me off whenever I do something like this." Takatora asked.
"I... It's not that..." Ryouma mumbled. "I'm just... not used to having someone to help. I just feel like I shouldn't need help, you know?"
"You've not had anyone to help you?" Takatora repeated.
"Everyone was interested in my abilities, but that's as far as their caring ever went." Ryouma replied.
He realized what he had said after it was already out of his mouth. He had told Takatora that without even thinking. He didn't want him to know. So, why did he say that so easily? Did he trust him that much? He shouldn't trust him... he could easily betray him.
"I see." Was all Takatora said. He seemed concerned by that statement.
...
This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Ryouma had no idea when or how it had happened, but he started having feelings for Takatora. That was not what he had wanted. Falling in love with the son of the man who had caused him so much pain? How did he end up like this?
There were a few ways that Takatora reminded him of Amagi, but there were so many things that were different. It was easy to forget sometimes who Takatora was related to. Ryouma wished he could forget that forever.
He tried to push his feelings away. Takatora woukd never return his feelings. There was no way. He should just forget about him. There were so many better options than him. Did Takatora even swing that way? There were so many unknowns but yet Ryouma couldn't get his feelings to stop.
Thankfully, it seemed Takatora was none the wiser to his feelings. He was able to hide them well enough. Though, Ryouma started to debate asking Takatora about his romantic preferences just to see. Maybe hearing him confirm Ryouma was not in his area of interest would crush those feelings inside of him?
"Ne, Takatora?" Ryouma hummed.
He was typing up some reports about some recent tests he had done. Takatora had come to check on him.
"Yes?"
"I'm curious. Do you get a lot of people asking you out? Seeing you're from a pretty high family, I'd imagine there are a lot of girls fawning over you."
Takatora let out an annoyed sound at the question. "Yes. It's annoying."
Ryouma chuckled. "None of them catch your eye, huh?"
"No. I'm not interested in those types of people."
"So what kind of girl do you like then?" Ryouma looked over at Takatora.
Takatora stared at him. "Who said anything about girls?"
Ryouma felt his heart speed up. "Eh? You... are into guys?"
"Perhaps."
"I... didn't expect that. I mean, I guess moreso I just thought even if you did you'd just go for a girl cause of your status."
"My father wants me to but I refuse."
"Oh." Ryouma tensed at the mention of his father. "Um... I'm gay too... if you care."
"Is that why you were asking?"
Ryouma cursed himself. He shouldn't have said that. He was blowing his cover.
"No. I just... was curious. I see you with a lot of girls so I wanted to know. I... I said that cause I... thought maybe you'd like to know you're not the only one here who's not straight?" Ryouma said.
Takatora moved closer to him. Ryouma tensed up. What was he doing?
"Are you certain?" Takatora questioned again.
"A-are you... trying to... to say something?" Ryouma was stumbling over his words.
"No?"
"T-then why are you... this close to me?"
"I just want to make sure you're telling the truth."
"What would you do if I said I liked you?" Ryouma blurted out. He gulped.
Takatora raised an eyebrow. "I don't know."
"How don't you know? You know if you like me or not. It's not that hard." Ryouma protested his answer.
"Why would I say anything if you can't say it to my face?"
Ryouma stared. His cover was blown. His crush was out there. Takatora knew. It was over. He might as well finish digging his grave.
Ryouma took a deep breath. "I... I like you, Takatora. I... would you... be my boyfriend?"
"Yes."
It was just one words, but it did a lot. Ryouma felt like he was about to pass out. He actually was going to date Takatora. This wasn't supposed to happen. Why did he do this? He should've kept his mouth shut.
But...
Ryouma hesitantly leaned in toward Takatora. The other followed, knowing what he was doing. A hand found its way onto his cheek. And then they kissed.
This was the first time Ryouma could say he had ever been kissed with actual love behind it. This was the first time he wanted this type of affection. He didn't want it to end.
He knew this was wrong. This was just going to complicate everything. Dating Takatora was just asking for trouble. If he wasn't careful, he could open himself up to so much more hurt.
"Takatora..." Ryouma whispered as they pulled away.
"Ryouma."
"I... love you."
"And I love you."
Ryouma found himself pulled into an embrace. He smiled. The warmth from Takatora was welcoming.
"Takatora?"
"Yes?"
"Can we... keep this a secret? I don't want anyone to know yet." Ryouma asked.
"I was going to ask the same. I don't think my father would be pleased to learn of our relationship." Takatora replied.
"Thank god we're on the same page..."
That was exactly who Ryouma was worried about finding out about this. Would Amagi tell Takatora about him if he learned? Ryouma didn't want to think about what might happen. Amagi suddenly would have a new way to hurt him. Ryouma never wanted to feel that hurt again.
"You never like me mentioning my father. Do you have an issue with him?" Takatora asked.
He had picked up on that?
"I... yeah. Let's just leave it as he and I don't have a very good history with each other." Ryouma replied. "Please don't ask him about me. He may... try to find me again and I... don't want to ever see his face again."
"Of course. I won't say a word."
At least he didn't press for more information. Maybe in the future he might decide to tell Takatora about what happened. But for now, he just wanted to leave that past behind.
He had someone who cared. For once there was finally someone in his life who loved him. Who understood him. Ryouma was not letting go of this unless he absolutely had to.