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I'm waiting for water to boil on the stove when the front door slowly creaks open. My face lights up. The door closes and I hear the soft rustling of Bucky taking his boots off. My cheery demeanor falters slightly when he doesn't say anything. He's usually more chatty when he gets home, even from missions. I decide not to mention it for now. I jump slightly when he wraps his arms around me. He rests his head on my shoulder while I continue staring at the stubborn pot.
"This damn thing," I mutter softly. "I think we might need a new stove or something."
I stop talking when I hear soft sniffling and feel something wet on my neck. If he wasn't right next to my ear, I wouldn't have heard.
"Honey..." I turn around to look at him better, my brow furrowed in concern, and gentle tears are falling down his cheeks. He wraps his arms around me again and buries his face in the crook of my neck. I hold him close for a few beats before turning around to turn off the stove. "I'll order something. I'm too impatient to wait for that anyway."
He nods and I lead him to the couch so we can snuggle. I lay down on my back and he lays on top of me, hiding his face between my shoulder and neck again. He wraps his arms tighter around me. His crying grows slightly stronger; my heart aches. I kiss him on the cheek and rub his back in a slow circular motion, hoping to provide as much comfort as possible.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay," I murmur into his ear, "I've got you..."
He utters the first words he's said to me since he got home so quietly I can barely hear him. "It was so bad."
My brow furrows again. "What was?"
"The- the mission..."
I nod softly, not wanting to push it. He continues anyway.
"There was a little girl." His crying gets stronger again as he explains it. "I was- I was trying to get everyone out of the conflict, but... her mom had- her mom had gotten stuck in the building and she wanted to go back. I got distracted and she- she walked off... and then there was an explosion. Right where I had seen her last. When they- when they checked the rubble..."
I run my fingers through his short hair. He doesn't finish his last sentence; he doesn't need to. "That sounds awful."
"Maybe if- maybe if I payed better attention-" he begins.
"No. Don't do that. Blaming yourself won't help."
"But I-"
"Bucky... How many other people were caught in the conflict? 5? 50? It sounded like she wasn't the only one. You saved as many people as you could, Buck."
He sighs shakily and nods. He leans further into me. I stroke his cheek with my thumb and he winces.
"That hurt?" I ask softly. He mutters an affirmation. I tilt his head so that he's looking in my eyes and find that he has a small cut on his cheekbone. I try to sit up so I can get a band-aid but he grips my shirt.
"Don't leave..."
I rub his arm reassuringly. "I'm just going to get you a bandage. Do you want to come with me?"
He sniffles quietly. "Ye- yeah."
I stand up and take his hand in mine. We walk down the hall to the bathroom and I make him sit on the edge of the toilet. I grab a small first-aid kit from the medicine cabinet, opening it to pull out a antiseptic wipe and a small band-aid. "Want a kiss?" I ask as I open the antiseptic wipe.
"Yes, please."
I nod and tilt his head up, holding his chin as I kiss him. I use his distraction to gently wipe his cut clean. He winces into the kiss, but doesn't pull away. Instead, I pull away a few seconds later to put the bandage on his cheek.
"There, all better," I say before kissing him again. He smiles for the first time since I last saw him. "Now, what do you want for dinner?"
He thinks for a moment as we look into each other's eyes. Or so I thought. "Can you repeat that? I got distracted."
I grin and shake my head. "What do you want for dinner, Buck?"
"Food, hopefully."