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After five years of intense battles, savage bombings and useless murders between the Arashi and the Kemuri Kingdoms, despair made its way into every heart. It tarnished what little hope soldiers had to see their families once more (or at least what was left of them) but it also gave said families nightmares about their loved one’s deaths. The war would never end. It had started because of petty royal disputes; crude comments about the Arashi king’s crown, some said; he was known to be quite impulsive after all. Whatever it was, people were now losing themselves and everything they had to a war that did nothing but kill.
Tomioka Giyuu, a soldier from the Kemuri Kingdom, laid alone. His best friend’s body covering his and protecting him from the Arashi’s assault. Yet he laid alone. Because Sabito was gone. He’d been shot in the back numerous times, shielding Giyuu in a desperate attempt to save him, and Giyuu was now basking in a pool of his blood, incapable of moving. He had to, he knew it. But he just couldn’t, his limbs wouldn’t cooperate. He had yet again failed to protect someone he loved and he had yet again been a liability causing them to get killed. The battered soldier could feel everyone leaving the battlefield and briefly thought of staying there and dying with Sabito, but he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t waste his friend’s sacrifice. Giyuu only managed to utter a small “help” and was luckily heard by another soldier and friend of his, Rengoku Kyojuro. The man lifted Sabito’s body off him, letting Giyuu grab his identification plate before flinging the slightly smaller man’s arm over his shoulders and taking off, leaving other soldiers the grim task of bringing back Sabito’s corpse.
The night was long as comrades huddled for warmth in muddy trenches, filling their heads with dreams of sunny days spent running along a windy beach to the best of their abilities. But these fantasies never lasted long, none of this was real and they knew it. The dark allowed these soldiers privacy, or at least as much as they could get, and hid their tear-stained faces from their comrades; and if people heard sobs on those dark nights, they pretended not to. “I could hear Sabito and Kotoha crying for us last night,” someone said the next morning, and everyone agreed with a sad smile, silently remembering two of the many comrades they had lost the previous day. Perhaps it was better that way, hiding themselves from the truth of their lives. Perhaps none of this would affect them.
Dusk was breaking as Giyuu and Kyojuro laid together on the soiled floor, waiting for the time to pass and praying for this day to remain peaceful. Last Christmas had been an absolute bloodbath, resulting in the loss of more than a thousand soldiers on the Kemuri’s side, and no man wished to recreate this nightmare of a day. Mitsuri soon joined both men in their embrace, wearing her usual smile when she handed them a small slice of bread. “Shinobu gave it to me,” she nearly sparkled, “I thought we could share!” Giyuu and Kyojuro gracefully accepted their friend’s present, wishing each other a Merry Christmas before wordlessly eating what felt like a reward.
“I just wish we could have one day to forget about this stupid war!” The trio heard a fellow soldier complaining. “It’s been five years!” The man looked around with desperate eyes. “Don’t you wish we could spend Christmas celebrating instead of fearing for our lives?” There was a tense silence before someone spoke up.
“And what do you suggest we do?” The man spoke harshly. “March up to Arashi trenches and offer a truce for Christmas? I have a family waiting for me! I don’t want to get shot!” There was a hint of hopelessness in his voice though it was hidden behind a wall of anger (and perhaps madness too).
No one dared to speak or move. Only Murata, a man who’d joined the army at the same time as Giyuu did, stepped forward and placed his hand on the distressed man’s shoulder before guiding him away. And even though they knew it was stupid, their fellow soldier’s suggestion stuck in their heads. What if it was possible? Would the Arashi shoot them or would they accept a truce for the day? Could their unreachable dream of peace begin here and there?
“Alright!” A shout startled them. “I’m going!” Ume got up confidently only to be hit in the head by his friend. “You have a family you idiot!” And just like that, a quiet banter spread throughout the trenches, surprisingly light-hearted considering the condition they were all in. Perhaps it indeed was the Christmas spirit as Mitsuri had described it to be.
“I’ll go,” Giyuu spoke up, slightly louder than the others and everyone stopped talking. No one found it in themselves to refute his statement. Giyuu didn’t have anyone waiting for him at home, his parents and sister were dead and the last person he could ever hope to consider family had died the previous day. Only whispers of “Are you sure” rose over the quiet trenches.
Before Giyuu could get up, however, Kyojuro had tightened his grip on him and Mitsuri had grabbed his arm in a firm but soft touch, deepening their embrace for a moment before letting go. They both knew Giyuu couldn’t be stopped once he put his mind to something, even though that had sometimes disserved him more than anything else. Giyuu smiled at them for the last time perhaps, getting rid of his weapons before climbing up the trench and revealing himself to his enemies. “I’ll be right behind you,” Hitori smiled at Giyuu, a sad smile, truly. He too had lost everything he had, finding himself alone in this cruel world and perhaps (like Giyuu, often sometimes) wanting to free himself from it.
And just like that, Giyuu marched forward to what could either mean his death or hope for entire kingdoms. He knew Makomo and the others were covering him and that his death would be avenged, he simply hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this. Giyuu passed the Kemuri barbed wires and other traps, quickly finding himself in no man’s land. He almost wanted to go back and sit in his friends’ warm embrace once again, to enjoy a quiet and calm Christmas. But he couldn’t. Not now. He took off his helmet and lowered his muffler, taking a deep breath before marching forward with his hands high up in the air. His heart was beating fast. So fast he felt like he would die from a heart attack rather than a bullet. He briefly wondered how he must have looked to the Arashi; a lonely man walking to his death, surely.
Logically, Giyuu knew Hitori was following behind him and he was sure Rento wouldn’t be far from him either, but he felt alone. Here in the sad winter weather, seemingly without anyone around him, he felt peaceful, if the feeling of emptiness could be described as that. Giyuu looked up, the sky wasn’t particularly pretty and harboured endless grey clouds, how encouraging. At least his sister and best friend wouldn’t be able to see the stupid decision he had taken (hopefully).
There was a sudden movement in front of him, near the Arashi trenches, and Giyuu stopped. The raven-haired man closed his eyes, choosing to remain unaware of his death just as he was completely unaware of everything that was going on in enemy trenches. Doubt? Fear? Anger? Disgust? Hope? He was and would remain unaware.
–
The Arashi army started their Christmas day reminiscing of the past, a way for them to mourn their dead. The previous day’s battle had thankfully been one where they hadn’t lost too many people, which in itself was an awful thing to think about and every single one of them knew that. Not that they could help thinking about it; after all, living another day means the possibility of seeing an end to this seemingly endless war.
Sanemi placed Ozaki’s identification plate with the others in hopes of finding a way to give it back to her family someday. He then quickly joined a sulking Obanai, making sure to avoid Tengen as the man had spent his entire waking time talking people’s ears off. “My wives are wonderful! They’re so beautiful I could have a heart attack! Makio-” Sanemi didn’t need to hear more, he knew it all already.
“Will he ever learn to shut up?” he muttered as he sat down next to his friends. Obanai merely shrugged though the annoyance in his eyes betrayed his wish for the taller man to close his fucking mouth (his words). They stayed together for quite a few minutes, blocking out the exhausting man’s rambling and enjoying some peace and quiet before a battle inevitably broke out.
“Do you think we’ll have to fight this year?” Sanemi heard one of his fellow soldiers wonder aloud. Probably , he thought, nothing like a bloody battle to continue the sinister Christmas tradition of losing an innumerable amount of soldiers . Sanemi stopped listening again, he didn’t need to hear people speculate about the inevitable battle this day would bring. The white-haired man lost himself in his thoughts, thinking about his only surviving brother who he’d recently heard had decided to join the army, what an idiot . Genya should have stayed home and waited for Sanemi to come back.
“Someone is coming!” There was a shout not too far away. This single sentence had put everyone on high alert, rifles and grenades in hand in case the order to attack was given. But nothing happened. Sanemi decided to see for himself, using his binoculars only to discover a single man walking slowly towards them. The man didn’t look suspicious though everyone knew he should: they were in the middle of a war, after all. They all watched him march slowly, taking off his helmet and lowering his muffler, revealing his face to the enemy forces. His face was calm and even though he did his best to keep his face from showing any emotion, Sanemi easily saw through his mask of indifference, noticing fear as well as acceptance in those deep blue eyes; this man thought he was going to die.
In all honesty, he should have died. From the second he’d stepped into no man’s land he should have been shot and closed his eyes for the last time. It could have been that the Arashi soldiers were curious about the raven-haired man and the two soldiers following him, all three of them weaponless and bare-faced, or it could have been that none of them wanted to engage in a battle. Perhaps it was both. These soldiers were tired and the prospect of a peaceful encounter felt like a dream come true.
“He’s pretty,” Tengen whispered as the man continued to walk forward, this time placing his hands in the air in a clear sign of peace. Sanemi turned his head towards the way-too-tall man, “Don’t you have three wives already?” he cocked his eyebrows as he spoke. “No, Tengen’s right. He’s pretty.” Sanemi was surprised to hear Makio’s voice answering instead of Tengen’s. Where had she come from?
Sanemi shrugged it off, watching the pretty (?) man stop and look up to the sky. That’s when Sanemi got up and climbed up the trench, getting rid of his weapons in the process. “What are you doing?” Obanai’s voice asked harshly. Sanemi looked back at his friend, “Are we supposed to stay here and watch him all day?” he inquired.
“Yeah! What if he wants to make a truce for Christmas!” Suma, one of Tengen’s wives, cheered. Seriously, where did these girls come from? They were supposed to be stationed in the Second and Third Divisions. Sanemi ignored the whispered bickering behind him and strode forward, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him. Could a truce really be possible?
–
Or would he?
Giyuu opened his eyes after a minute without anything happening, almost expecting to find himself in the afterlife faced with an angry Sabito. But that didn’t happen. He was faced with a lone soldier. The man was slightly taller than him and had spiky white hair falling in front of his eyes; and Giyuu found himself wanting to trace his enemy’s scars with his fingers as it so strongly reminded him of the friend he had lost just the day before.
Both men stared at each other for a long time. The air around them was tense but neither of them felt their comrades’ agitation at their prolonged silence. They were so encaptured with each other they momentarily forgot about everything around them. A battle could have erupted and neither would have noticed. Deep blue and light purple never left each other and it looked like they were magnets, destined to end up locked in an embrace.
Sanemi made the first move, taking a step towards the other man with an open stance. The staring continued for a second before each soldier took the other in his arms, their bodies colliding with the strength they had used to grab the other. They hugged each other tightly, laughing loudly in their euphoric state of disbelief.
They momentarily pulled back, only embracing the other again when they understood this was real. It was unusual for the both of them, they weren’t used to going around and hugging strangers until their arms hurt, but this was different. They were enemies exhausting themselves in a cruel war and the simple fact that the other side was willing to give up their weapons gave them such happiness they didn’t know any other way to let it out; peace wasn’t such an impossible event, after all.
Sanemi placed his hand on the back of Giyuu’s head and the other on his middle back, bringing him as close to him as he could, while Giyuu placed his on Sanemi’s back, successfully knocking the breath out of the white-haired man’s chest. Behind them, their fellow soldiers came out of their trenches, a bit hesitant at first, naturally fearing this whole thing to be a trap. They quickly ran towards each other, however, completely giving up on being cautious and embracing strangers with such passion a passerby could believe them to be long-time friends.
When they separated, Giyuu turned his head to the side and observed the scene around him: Arashi and Kemuri soldiers, sworn enemies, laughing together. On his left, he saw a woman cry out of happiness before another one hit her in the head for being too emotional. On his right, he saw parents show pictures of their families with proud smiles on their faces. Sabito would have loved to see that , he thought. His friend did have a bad temper but peace was something he wished for more than anything.
Not too far away, Giyuu heard the sound of music arise. When he looked, he saw a very tall man and a long-haired woman playing together as they danced. More people joined them and he even saw Kyogai take out his drums. Mitsuri quickly joined him and grabbed his hand, he looked back at Sanemi before letting her lead him to the sound of the music, laughing joyfully as she did so. Giyuu was happy, he often saw his friend smile but the smile she wore in that specific moment was real. They danced together for quite a while, only stopping when Mitsuri’s eyes caught something Giyuu could not quite make out. It was only after he pulled her to the side that he saw her looking towards the scarred soldier’s direction, more specifically towards the black-haired man standing next to him. What’s more, the man was staring right back at her.
A few seconds later, Giyuu found himself standing next to the white-haired man as he watched his friend drag the somewhat reluctant man she had noticed to dance. Giyuu took a deep breath, feeling extremely peaceful for the first time since the beginning of this war. He felt the man on his right staring at him, only to turn his face hastily when Giyuu looked back.
“Do you… want to dance…” Giyuu felt his cheeks flush, only then realising that he didn’t know the other man’s name. “Sanemi. Shinazugawa Sanemi.”
Giyuu looked back with a tentative smile, “Do you want to dance, Sanemi?” And even though he knew his social skills were nearly nonexistent, the man accepted. “I don’t see why not…” Giyuu chuckled. “Giyuu. Tomioka Giyuu,” he interrupted.
Sanemi snorted and offered his hand to the other man who gratefully accepted it. Now, neither man knew how to dance, “you’re bad at this” Giyuu found himself teasing the scarred man. Sanemi’s only answer was to laugh, throwing his head back for a moment before spinning the other man around and dragging him along to the music. And even though it was rare for the both of them to enjoy themselves to such an extent, even before the war started, they continued to dance until their limbs threatened to fall off.
Not even five minutes after Giyuu and Sanemi sat on the floor, not too far from their comrades, Giyuu heard Susamaru suggest a game of football, quickly supported by Kyojuro and the tall man he’d seen playing music earlier in the morning. Everyone seemed happy, even Kazumi who had lost his fiancé, Satoko, the prior day.
Giyuu noticed he and Sanemi were sitting closely when he felt the other man’s shoulder brush against his. “So, what made you come to us?” The man asked. It took a moment for Giyuu to find an answer, he didn’t want to sound depressive but there was no nice way to put it. “I’ve already lost everything,” he said with a smile, “better me than someone with a family waiting for them.” Sanemi understood; Giyuu could see it in his light purple eyes.
During the next hour or so, they didn’t speak, merely content in basking in the other’s warmth. They watched their friends exhaust themselves over a football game while others simply sat down and narrated their life stories to newfound friends. Everyone had forgotten about the war, it seemed.
When the conversation began flowing again, Giyuu asked Sanemi about his life before the war, which seemed to be a sensitive subject for the other man. Giyuu could easily guess what had happened to his family, he was no stranger to the horrors of the war. “I am… was the oldest of seven,” he began, surprising Giyuu who thought the other man would ignore his question. “I often took my siblings out to play in the fields. They used to make me and my brother Genya eat these horrid dirt and flower potions. I know these little devils knew what they were doing by making us eat that.” Giyuu could see the hint of a smile on Sanemi’s lips. He seemed happy, not the euphoric kind of happy he had been earlier but the soft and loving kind of happy.
Giyuu thought Sanemi’s smile was beautiful. It complimented his scars and made his eyes crease ever so slightly, making him look so gentle you could barely believe this man was fighting in a war.
Sanemi turned his head towards Giyuu, his smile widening when he saw a matching grin gracing the other man’s lips. They spent ten seconds silently smiling at each other before Sanemi spoke again, finally remembering his question. “How was your life?” He cocked his head to the side in an inquisitive way, trying his best to hide his reddening cheeks. Giyuu was the first to look away, watching the moving clouds for a moment as he remembered his childhood.
“I was raised by my older sister. We lived in the countryside near flower fields and every spring we made flower bouquets and gave them to our elderly neighbours.” Giyuu smiled softly, a smile that (according to Sanemi) illuminated his features and made his face appear ethereal. “That’s how she met her fiancé,” he added, “Yuuki was visiting his grandmother for the weekend. He became a blushing mess as soon as he saw her. It was quite funny.” A little laugh escaped the man’s lips and Sanemi was gone.
They spent their whole day learning more about each other, going from embarrassing stories about themselves and their friends to light-hearted ones as they recalled the time they spent with their siblings. As bizarre as it could sound to anyone hearing this, they felt as if they had known each other their whole lives. They found themselves to fit perfectly together, two pieces of a puzzle made to encounter each other, never to be seen apart again.
Unconsciously, they had gotten even closer as the day had passed, legs intertwined and practically sitting on each other’s laps. Giyuu had taken hold of Sanemi’s hand, tracing random patterns on it, completely unaware of the domestic gesture he was doing. Sanemi’s eyes never left Giyuu’s face with the intent of memorising every single curve or crease, every colour and every shape.
Around them, they noticed people moving with agitation. The sun was going down. Christmas day was over. Sanemi and Giyuu looked at each other in disbelief, the day couldn’t be over yet. In the commotion, they found themselves forced to sand up, hands clamped together as they tried to process what was happening. Was this really the end? Blue and purple found each other again, fear and sadness shading their brilliant colours. The world disappeared around them, a battle could have erupted and neither would have noticed. This couldn’t be the end.
Sanemi was again the first one moving, this time immediately taking Giyuu into his arms, hugging the other man with all of his strength, hoping to keep him there as the night doomed them. Giyuu embraced him back just as tightly, almost hurting his arms with the amount of strength he was using. They just stood there, two pieces of a puzzle. This couldn’t be the end.
“Giyuu!” Kyojuro’s booming voice called for him. He looked back to see his friend trying to soothe a crying Mitsuri and call him over at the same time. This couldn’t be the end. He vaguely heard Sanemi’s name being called and turned back to face the man immediately. Far away he noticed the man Mitsuri had invited to dance clenching his hand over his heart, a pained grimace on his face.
Sanemi turned back to him, his eyes as glossy as Giyuu felt his own eyes being. They took each other in their arms again. This couldn’t be the end. One last squeeze. This couldn’t be the end.
Sanemi stepped back, taking Giyuu’s face between his palms.
“Listen to me. When this war is over, Giyuu, wait for me.” Giyuu stared unblinkingly. His tears started pouring. “Please wait for me.”
“I will wait for you, Sanemi.” He answered immediately. Sanemi’s tears flowed as well. “I will.”
One last hug.
“Giyuu!” Kyojuro’s insistent voice called again. And he had no other choice but to listen. Blue and purple turned away from each other. This couldn’t be the end.
Slow steps guided Giyuu back to the Kemuri trenches. Numb. He heard running and someone caught his arm. Sanemi.
Before Giyuu even had time to process Sanemi’s sudden appearance, the other man’s lips found themselves on his own, soft yet rushed. Giyuu’s hand quickly found Sanemi’s hair, tugging on it as he deepened the kiss. Sanemi’s lips tasted like salt and cigarettes.
They pulled back, both breathing heavily and staring at each other with an expression neither could read.
“I’ll find you.” Sanemi assured him, his voice nothing more than a whisper.
“I won’t rest until you do.” Giyuu promised. There was a hidden longing in his voice, the unseen possibility of peace.
This wouldn’t be the end.