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When he beamed down to the planet with his two closest officers, Jim’s first impression was that it was the perfect place for their upcoming shore leave. He breathed in, enjoying the atmosphere and the temperature similar to Earth, his gaze on the peaceful islands with sandy beaches and green forests surrounded by the crystal-clear water of the ocean. He just had one task to complete, then he could give his entire crew a couple of free days to take a well-deserved break from their duties on the Enterprise.
“Captain, the laboratory is the white building on the left,” Spock said, his tricorder in his hands to analyze the local environment.
Next to them, Bones stepped towards their destination. “Laboratory?! That looks more like a mansion if you ask me.”
Spock lifted his eyebrow. “Doctor, we are not here to judge the engineer’s preferences.”
“Really, Spock? Preferences are just an important part of being human, but of course you wouldn’t know about that.”
“And for that, I am grateful.”
Jim smiled at the familiar banter. “All right, gentlemen. Let’s hurry up to meet him. We have an appointment.”
They reached the entrance of the building, a large gate that led to a wide garden, and Jim rang the bell.
The man who greeted them was tall and well-built, a dazzling smile on his face. “Oh, you must be Captain Kirk. It’s nice to meet you.” He opened the gate and offered him his hand. “I’m Daniel Peterson, computer scientist.”
He was looking at Jim with bright green eyes, his long straight hair tied in a ponytail. He was light blond, a good contrast to his suntanned skin – and now that Jim was closer, he noticed that his low-necked tank top didn’t leave room for imagination regarding his pectorals; men like him were usually playing the part of the sexy lifeguard in old Earth TV shows.
Jim shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Doctor Peterson. I heard great things about your project from Starfleet Command.”
“Glad to hear that, Captain.” Peterson looked at Bones.
“My Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy,” Jim introduced him. “And this is my First Officer, Mister Spock… I believe you two are already acquainted.”
Peterson shook Bones’ hand, then he turned to Spock. He stared at him, his eyes making a quick scan of his body. His smile with perfect white teeth was back on his face. “Mister Spock, live long and prosper,” he said, his hand raised in a poor imitation of the Vulcan salute. “We finally meet in person.”
“Live long and prosper,” Spock returned the greeting with a much better version of the same gesture. “I look forward to hearing more about your project, Commander.”
“Commander?” Jim asked.
“Yes, Captain,” Spock said, stepping closer to Jim. “Doctor Peterson has served as Science Officer on the USS Reliant. Unlike other scientists in the same field, he has prime experience on explorations and battles inside a starship. Because of that, it’s logical to assume that his insight on the Enterprise computer will be of great value.”
“I see.” Jim nodded. “Then, by all means, we’re all excited about this project.”
Peterson grinned. “Oh, don’t worry, Captain, it’ll be…” His eyes lingered on Spock again. “My pleasure.”
Spock and Peterson moved first inside the wide garden of the laboratory – which did look like a mansion, Jim thought – while Bones moved close to Jim.
“Well, he might be a genius at science, but he’s not that good at subtlety,” Bones whispered.
Peterson was leaning towards Spock as he attempted some small talk about the way Spock’s blue uniform suited him.
Jim sighed. “Oh, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. He’s the kind of man who thinks he can always get what he wants.”
“Too bad that’s not going to work on a Vulcan.”
“Yeah.” Jim chuckled a little as they reached the front door.
***
It took Peterson almost two hours to explain the changes that his special operating system was going to bring to the Enterprise computer.
Inside the wide dining room, Jim listened carefully, his eyes on the projection that showed how every program worked on other starships where it had been tested. Jim had to admit that the improvements looked very appealing.
“Commander, take a look at this,” Bones said, showing him his PADD. The last data the Enterprise medical staff had collected on their patients showed a certain distress among the ship’s crew when they used technological devices.
Peterson grinned. “No problem, man. My project is meant to help every crew member with those daily tasks. Things like writing a correct report of a mission or contacting your family will be a piece of cake!”
“Well, let’s hope it’s as good as you say.” Bones nodded, offering a little smile on his own.
Jim crossed his arms. “Opinion, Mister Spock?”
Spock’s eyes met Jim’s. “An incredible project. Efficient computers are necessary for an efficient crew, and after many years working among humans, I can only approve an operating system that will help them to avoid excessive emotional distress.”
Bones rolled his eyes, but Jim stopped him before he could talk. “Thank you, Mister Spock.” Jim looked at Peterson. “All right, Commander, it appears that my men are looking forward to your program on our ship. Consider your project accepted.”
“Thanks, Captain. I’m sure you won’t regret it.” He closed the projection and stepped in front of Spock, his gaze lingering on him. “As the ship’s Science Officer, if you have any kind of question or problem in the future, you can contact me anytime, Mister Spock.”
Spock tilted his head. “Understood, Commander.”
Peterson kept his eyes on Spock, the two of them standing in silence.
Jim and Bones exchanged a glance.
Jim forced a cough. “Ahem. Gentlemen, I’m sure none of us wants to take advantage of Commander Peterson’s hospitality.”
“Ah, Captain, there’s no trouble, man. Would you like a drink? Coffee? Oh, I have a new ale from the nearby colony that you must try!”
Jim was going to decline the invitation, but this time it was Bones who spoke over him. “A new ale? Well, we can’t really say no to that, right, Jim?”
Jim glared at his friend. Was that really the time to think about alcohol?
“Is this authentic, Commander?” Spock’s voice caught their attention. He was staring at an old Earth computer in a corner.
Jim moved closer. He couldn’t identify the model, but he was rather certain that it was from the late 20th century.
“Of course it is, Mister Spock,” Peterson replied, his flirtatious tone and smile as subtle as a red alert. “I see you’re a man of culture as well.”
Spock stepped in front of the computer. “Fascinating. A 1990s motherboard with RAM and processor in perfect conditions. And a collection of floppy disks.”
“Yep.” Peterson grinned, invading Spock’s personal space. “And they all work.”
Jim squinted slightly. He had studied old informatics during his early years at Starfleet Academy – and always got the highest grades among hundreds of cadets – but that had been more than fifteen years ago. Following the command track meant he had to specialize on different subjects, so his past knowledge was a little rusty.
Jim looked at the collection of old Earth technology displayed in the living room. When he found a piece he recognized, he couldn’t help speaking out loud. “Oh, that’s impressive! An American portable computer with a touchpad. My old professor had the same model. It’s from 2004.”
“2003, actually,” Peterson corrected him.
Jim had to use all his professional self-control not to groan in frustration. Or punch that pretty face. No, that was a despicable thought. Spock would have hated him. Jim needed to control his emotions, at least for a little bit.
“Interesting,” Spock said, his attention now focused on the portable computer. “Do you collect all kinds of Earth machines?”
Peterson’s perfect grin widened as he looked at Spock again. “Ah, you got me, Mister Spock! Yeah, I do. Actually, I have three rooms dedicated to them. Of course, I know the three of you really wanna go back to your ship, but…” He placed his arm against the wall, assuming a seductive pose. “I heard that you’re free tomorrow? If you’re so fascinated, Mister Spock, why don’t you come back? I’d be extremely pleased to show you my…” He licked his lips. “Private collection.”
Oh, come on! Jim rolled his eyes. He glanced at Bones, who was now staring wide-eyed at the other two.
Spock turned to Jim. “Captain, do you require my presence tomorrow?”
Jim was caught off-guard. “Well… We’ll be on shore leave, so I was hoping to see you joining us.”
“Is that an order?” Spock asked, his dark brown eyes on him.
Jim felt a stab in his heart. This was about their free time, not work. However, it was obvious from the way Spock was looking at him that if Jim had ordered Spock to spend his shore leave with him, Spock would have done it. If Jim had ordered Spock to break that irritating guy’s teeth for him, he would have done it. If Jim had ordered Spock to follow him to the end of the universe, he would have done it.
Damn.
“No, Spock, that’s not an order. It’s your shore leave, so you… you can choose who you want to spend it with.”
Spock nodded. Then he turned to Peterson. “In this case, I accept your invitation, Commander. It is an unmissable chance for me to expand my knowledge on Earth computers.”
For the first time since they’d met him, Peterson placed his hand on Spock’s shoulder. “I’m looking forward to it.”
***
The local sun was shining over the ocean.
Jim lay topless under his beach umbrella, a PADD in his hands. Far from him, close to the water, he spotted Uhura, Sulu, Chekov and Chapel playing ball together.
“They said you can join them.” Bones appeared next to him, slurping an iced drink. “They know they can’t replace Spock, but just because your friend isn’t here, it doesn’t mean you must spend your shore leave moping.”
“Who’s moping?” Jim sat up. “I’m relaxing, Bones. You know I love reading.”
Bones glanced at Jim’s PADD. “Computers from the 20th century,” he read the title out loud. “Come on, Jim, we both know that’s not your typical book.”
“I’ve always been fond of 20th century Earth history.”
“Sure. Manuals of war strategies and romantic literature, not computers.”
“I can like different things, Bones. I’m a starship captain, I have a lot of knowledge about computers.”
“And I’m a doctor, not a fool!” Bones grumbled more unintelligible insults as he sat next to him. “Listen, I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn about it, but you can’t deny that you’re upset because Spock accepted to spend his shore leave with his new friend.”
Jim sighed. He could try to hide it from the others, but not from Bones. He knew him too well. “All right, that’s true. I’m surprised he said yes.”
“You’re jealous.”
“I’m–!” Jim paused, his eyes wide. He looked at his PADD. “Yes. I guess I am.” He passed his hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Bones, it’s just hard to see Spock getting so close to someone that isn’t me. I’m his best friend.”
“That’s not the problem here, and you know it.” Bones frowned, taking another sip from his cool drink. “You wouldn’t bat an eyelash if Spock spent time with me or another crew member. The truth is, you don’t like that yesterday Peterson hit on Spock, and you don’t like that Spock didn’t tell him to stop.”
“No, it’s not that. Spock can’t really be into that guy. I mean, I know he needs a new mate after T’Pring married another man, but… Peterson, really?”
“Why not?” Bones sounded amused. He placed his empty glass next to him. “Just because everyone and their mom knows about your affection for Spock, it doesn’t mean he’s taken. You’ve never really told him how you feel.”
“Stop it, Bones. It’s not like that…”
“Oh, really? And I’m the White Rabbit!” He raised his arms in vague gestures. “Damn it, Jim. Do you really think you two’ve been subtle about it?” He glanced at their friends from the Enterprise, who were now laughing out loud as they played in the water. “Anyone who’s been on the bridge for more than ten minutes has seen the way you look at him. Why don’t you talk to him?”
Jim took a deep breath, his eyes low. “Listen… I’m not denying that he’s very attractive. I mean, everyone can see that.”
Bones raised his eyebrow in an almost Spockian way. “If you say so. Go on.”
“I’ve just never let myself dig into this fact. He’s a Vulcan, he’s uncomfortable about human emotionalism. And I’m his superior officer.”
“Not for long, Jim,” Bones reminded him. “There are six months ‘til the end of the five-year mission. Once it’s over, you’ll have your chance. Well, if the charming blond in the mansion doesn’t steal him from you first.” He shrugged. “Let’s hope right now he’s really showing Spock his hard-disk and not his hard di–”
“Bones!”
“I’m kidding.” Bones smiled. “Don’t tell Spock I told you this, but just so you know… Anyone who knows him can tell that you’re special to him. You’re not the only one who’s not subtle about it.”
Jim didn’t say anything. He looked at the ocean, where other crew members were joining their friends.
Could he be right?
***
A month after their meeting, Jim had to admit that Daniel Peterson’s operating system was fantastic. The crew’s efficiency had increased, and it was obvious from their interactions on the ship that everyone was in a better mood.
Sitting in a chair in Spock’s quarters, Jim read the results of the last anonymous poll: 97% of the members of the Enterprise were satisfied with the change; 2% felt neutral about it; 1% liked the past operating system better, but they thought an update was necessary. Overall, it was a success, and Peterson was a genius.
Jim looked at his First Officer in silence; Spock was sitting at his desk, his handsome face focused on the reports on his computer.
It was unfair. Jim should have been happy to see his beloved ship in better shape; he should have been happy to see his subordinates happier. But why did it have to be that guy’s project? Jim closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to dwell on that. It was immature of him. A hidden part of himself – the evil side he never wanted to see emerging again – had secretly hoped to see Peterson’s experiment failing. He had secretly hoped to find out that Peterson wasn’t someone they could trust. After all, something similar had happened multiple times during the almost five years of their mission.
How many times had a new technology turned out to be unreliable? How many times had a trustworthy person turned out to be an enemy?
Why couldn’t he have an excuse to punch Peterson’s face?
Jim shook his head. No. He couldn’t have those thoughts. He was in command of the Enterprise. He had strong moral values he believed in. As much as he hated that man’s guts, he had to accept that his work was everything his crew could dream of. It was fine. For his ship’s sake, he had to bury his hatred where he couldn’t reach it anymore, and be the experienced Captain worthy of his subordinates’ respect.
“Captain?”
Jim blinked, stopping his train of thought. “Yes, Mister Spock?”
“I received a message from Commander Peterson. He told me that he’s working on an update of his operating system. May I have your permission to tell him that he can send it to us for further tests?”
Jim stood up and leaned towards the computer screen. His arm brushed against Spock’s shoulder. “Yes, of course.” He read the message on the monitor. “Why did he send pictures of an old keyboard?”
“That is not work-related,” Spock answered, his tone neutral. “It is a habit of his to keep me updated about his new purchases.”
Jim looked at him. “A habit? You mean… he writes to you regularly?”
“Approximately once every three days.”
“That’s impressive, Mister Spock.” Jim teased him, forcing a smile. He turned, walking close to the chessboard behind the desk. “You two seem to be very good friends.”
Spock intertwined his fingers on his lap. “I suppose that’s a logical way to define our connection.”
“You never told me what you did together on shore leave,” Jim asked before he could stop himself. “I mean… You were with him the entire day.”
“Indeed. It had been a fascinating experience.”
Jim swallowed, toying with a pawn. “What do you mean?”
“He showed his entire collection of antiques to me.”
“Is that all?” he asked, still pretending to be interested in the chess piece in his hand. “Sorry. It’s none of my business. Forget about it.”
“I did not have an intimate encounter with him, Jim.”
Jim turned to him.
Spock was looking at him with deep, serious eyes. “I am aware that he was attempting to court me. However, when I asked him not to touch me, he respected my boundaries. I value my relationship with him as a scientist.”
“So your friendship is platonic?”
“Correct.”
Jim let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Listen, Spock, I– I’m sorry. I know how much you care about your privacy. I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t have any right to ask, even though… I guess I wish I did.” He paused, once again staring at the chessboard they had used all those years at each other’s side, on the ship that had become their home. “Spock. I know there are still five months, but the end of our journey is getting closer every day, and I feel uneasy. I’ve spent the best years of my life on the Enterprise. The idea that they could take her away from me is intolerable. But I can’t fight for her alone. I know that once I’m grounded again, they’ll probably offer me a promotion to Admiral. They might make you Captain. I’d support that decision, by the way; it wouldn’t hurt too much to lose the Enterprise in your hands.”
“Jim. As you know well, that is not my wish.”
Jim took a deep breath. “The truth is, I don’t know what I know well about you, Spock.” He smiled, but there wasn’t happiness in his heart. “Isn’t that strange, my friend? Just a few months ago, when I was trapped inside Janice Lester’s body, I told you that you’re closer to me than anyone in the universe. I meant it. We both have seen sides of each other that nobody else will ever see. But when I think about you as a person, outside our ship… do I really know you? Do I really know your family? Your friends? Do I know if you have a type? How can I be your best friend if I’m not even helping you to find a new mate? I don’t even know if you have someone in mind.”
“Captain.” Spock stood up. Jim could tell that he felt upset. “I completed all my reports. Now, if you excuse me, I require meditation.”
Shit. Did I say something wrong? “Of course.” Jim walked towards the door. Before he opened it, he stopped for a moment in front of it. “Spock?” he called, without turning back.
“Yes, sir?”
“When the five-year mission is over, let’s go out to dinner together.”
Spock didn’t answer.
Jim closed his eyes. “I just think that once we’re grounded, we’ll be able to see everything from a new perspective. You won’t work under me anymore, and we won’t live in close quarters. If we see each other, it’ll be by choice.”
It looked like Spock had nothing to say. Jim glanced at him one more time. We’re not ready for this voyage to end, are we?
***
It was strange for Jim to remember that it had been almost three years.
Two years and a half without the Enterprise, without Bones and his friends.
Two years and a half without Spock.
He had accepted his promotion to Admiral. He had worked inside an office in San Francisco as Chief of Starfleet Operations.
And then they had the incident with V’Ger. A few hours, and Jim got everything back. A few months, and Jim got a date.
Well, technically we didn’t call it a date, he thought as he fixed his jacket in front of the mirror. But if there was something that had always made his friendship with Spock special, it was that they didn’t need words to understand each other.
Jim knew that now Spock understood, he had known since the moment Spock had held his hand and called it this simple feeling…
The communicator beeped. Jim groaned, hoping that it wasn’t an emergency. “Kirk here,” he answered after picking it up.
“It’s Spock. Is it a bad time?”
Jim grinned, trying to control the butterflies in his stomach. “How could it be a bad time? I’m getting ready for tonight. Are you already at the restaurant?”
“No.” Spock’s voice sounded serious. “I’m calling to suggest a mild change of plans.”
“Really?”
“Do you remember Daniel Peterson?”
Jim froze. He stared at his face in the mirror. It had been three years since he had last heard of that name, but he still disliked it. “Yes. What about him?”
“He is on Earth for a few days to show his new project to the cadets of Starfleet Academy. Since he’s an old acquaintance of ours and he has limited free time, I believe it’d be logical to ask him to join us for dinner.”
Jim almost dropped his communicator. “Join us… tonight?!”
“Naturally. As you are already aware, I have several meetings with Starfleet Command in the next few days. I can have dinner with him only tonight.”
“Right.” Jim took a deep breath. “So you’re saying that inviting him is a good idea.”
“It’s the best solution. Don’t you agree, Admiral?”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t dare to contradict my First Officer.” He hoped his spite wasn’t too obvious in his tone.
“Thank you. I will let him know that he’s welcome. Spock out.”
As the communication ended, Jim put his hands in his hair. It was supposed to be a date! I thought Spock knew!
He fixed his collar in front of the mirror, his mood ruined.
I suppose that this feeling between us is not just beyond V’Ger’s comprehension…
***
Peterson looked as confident as he did three years ago.
Jim put on his poker face when he shook his hand. Had that guy always been so tall? He still had the same perfect chest visible through his white shirt, the same perfect hair and the same perfect smile.
Jim would have rather had dinner with an entire delegation of Klingons to stop an intergalactic war. Heh, be careful what you wish for, he scolded himself as the three of them sat at their table. Surely it couldn’t be that bad… right?
“Man, it’s been a while!” Peterson started chatting while they were reading their menus. “Oh, I heard everything about V’Ger! Amazing, I wish I’d been there. Meeting an enormous living machine must have been incredible.”
“Perhaps, if you forget that two people died, two are missing and we almost lost every life form on Earth,” Jim said, forcing a smile. No, I was right. I’d seriously have a better time dining with a Klingon general.
“I see that all those years behind a desk have sharpened your tongue, Admiral.” Peterson kept his smile. After they ordered their meals, he focused his attention on Spock again. “So, anything good in your life, Mister Spock? Are you still single?”
They were sitting at a round table, but Peterson was a little too close to Spock, and Jim had already regretted not bringing his phaser with him – not that he would have done anything… just setting it on ‘stun’ and perhaps accidentally firing at an annoying pain in the neck. Nothing to worry about.
Spock lifted an eyebrow. “After spending almost three Terran years on Vulcan, I almost forgot about the human habit of asking personal questions, Captain.”
Jim’s eyes widened. “Captain?” he asked. No, no. It can’t be.
“Yes, Admiral,” Spock explained to him. “Daniel Peterson has served as First Officer on the Reliant for the last two years, and he’s recently been promoted.” He turned to Peterson. “Am I right, Captain?”
Jim stared at them, his mouth half open.
The first time Spock had called him Admiral during a meeting on Starfleet Headquarters, Jim had thought that it was the worst thing that could come out from Spock’s mouth.
He was wrong. The worst thing that could come out from Spock’s mouth was Admiral referred to Jim and Captain to another man.
Ugh.
He knew he was being ridiculous. It was just a title, one a lot of other officers had. Jim wasn’t the only captain Spock had ever met; he wasn’t even the only captain Spock had served under, or risked his life and career for. Still…
He loved the way Spock said it. For five years, side by side on their ship, Jim had been Captain on Spock’s lips.
“Aw, are you so informed about me, Mister Spock? I’m flattered.” Peterson smiled, taking a sip of red wine. “I still don’t have a ship, though. With Captain Decker gone, I’m sure there will be changes regarding Starfleet plans for future missions.”
Well, one thing is certain: the Enterprise is off-limits for you.
“Anyway, sorry about the personal question, Spock.” Peterson smiled at him. “I guess I’m just worried. Did I tell you that I visited Vulcan last year? Too bad we didn’t meet. I was invited for a seminar at the Vulcan Science Academy about the first computers on Earth. That’s how I got a little too curious about Vulcan biology.”
Spock lifted his eyebrow. “Indeed?”
“Yeah.” Their meals arrived. Peterson tasted his soup, then he continued. “My Vulcan assistant started to act strange all of a sudden. I found out– Oh, this is a pretty private matter for Vulcans, perhaps Admiral Kirk shouldn’t hear about it.”
“Please, don’t mind me, Captain,” Jim said, cutting his steak. “Trust me, I know everything about the biology of Vulcans.” Of course, the implication that he had first-hand sexual experience with it was not true, but a little bluff couldn’t hurt. It’s not that there weren’t rumors about him and Spock anyway. Besides, he supposed that rolling together on the sands of Vulcan could count as something…
Peterson met his eyes. This was going to be a long night. “Anyway, I found out that Vulcans have certain urgent needs once every seven years, and if they’re single, it can be a problem. That’s why I’m worried about you, Spock.”
“That’s not a matter of your concern,” Jim said.
“Perhaps your former First Officer can decide that by himself, Admiral.”
“I have no mate,” Spock said, interrupting the tension between the two humans.
“I see.” A sparkle appeared in Peterson’s eyes. “Well, I’m sure you have someone in mind as a candidate?” He leaned closer to Spock, without touching him. “Perhaps sitting at this table.”
Oh, shut up! Jim focused on his salad, trying to calm down. He knew Spock was going to turn Peterson down. He had to. Three years ago, he had told Jim that their friendship was platonic. While a lot could change in three years, Spock had spent them alone on Vulcan.
Could he have missed Peterson?
No, not as a possible mate. Jim couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that Spock would choose that guy over h–
“It is possible, Captain.”
Jim lifted his head at the title, only to realize that Spock was talking to Peterson.
“Oooh.” Peterson smirked. He took another sip from his glass without breaking eye contact with Spock. “Interesting. And I’m sure that now that you’re back to Starfleet, you’re not planning to gather dust on Earth like some old officer, right?” He winked.
Jim rolled his eyes. Hey, now. I’m thirty-nine, not three hundred and nine!
“I am considering several options, Captain,” Spock answered. “As I have always stated, I do not wish to be in command of a starship myself. However, I would be honored to serve in space again under a highly talented superior officer.”
No. That couldn’t be.
Jim looked at the two men. Was Peterson going to get everything he wanted? Jim had the power to keep that guy’s hands off the Enterprise, but he wasn’t going to force Spock to stay against his will. Despite his resolution, Jim was getting a stomachache at the thought of Spock joining another crew. Captain Peterson on the bridge, his young and charming figure shining among the stars, his loyal First Officer Spock at his side…
No. It was wrong.
If only Jim could have had his planned date tonight. If only he could have one last chance to confess. The likely implications of Spock’s words were obvious – he wanted Peterson as his mate and captain – but there was still a small chance that he was wrong. That Spock was still considering other possibilities.
Jim finished his salad, listening in silence to the other two men, now in deep conversation about old Vulcan graphics cards. He wanted Spock to be happy more than anything, even if it wasn’t with him… but he hadn’t lost yet. There must have been something he could do to impress him. He couldn’t give up. Jim Kirk didn’t believe in a no-win scenar– Wait.
“Spock,” he called him once they stopped talking. “Have you ever taken the Kobayashi Maru test?”
Spock’s attention was picked. “No, I have not.”
This could go terribly wrong, Jim thought. But I certainly don’t owe my career to the times I played safe. “Oh, I guess that’s only for the command track. What about you, Captain Peterson?”
“I didn’t try it myself, but as a Starfleet computer scientist, of course I studied the program. Why?” Peterson blinked in realization, then he chuckled. “Oh, right. I guess you want to impress us because you’re the only cadet who’s ever passed it. Though I heard you had to take it three times to succeed.”
Spock tilted his head, his eyes on Jim. “Interesting. Just like Captain Peterson, I am very familiar with the program, but unfortunately I did not take the test myself.”
Jim grinned. “Well, believe it or not, at the time I also became very familiar with the program.”
Peterson frowned. “What do you mean?”
“My solution to that no-win scenario had the virtue of having never been tried.”
Spock lifted his eyebrow.
Jim took a sip from his glass. It’s now or never. “I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.”
“You cheated!” Peterson’s eyes widened. “What the hell? I can’t believe it!” He looked at Spock for support. “Everyone has been praising his genius for years, and that was what he did? That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.” It was the first time Jim saw Peterson so upset, and he couldn’t hide his amusement. “You’re not supposed to win in the Kobayashi Maru scenario!”
Jim kept his smile. “Are you sure about that? I got a commendation for original thinking.”
“No way!”
“Captain,” Spock interrupted them, his face serious as he looked at Peterson. “It is true that changing the conditions of the test is illogical. If I had programmed that training exercise, I would not have accepted that solution.”
Jim swallowed. Well, I tried.
“Yeah, I feel the same!” Peterson’s voice was louder. “I can’t believe Starfleet teachers were happy to see a cadet cheating on their own test. That’s nonsense!”
“I’m not finished, Captain.” Spock looked calm, his features relaxed. “Despite the importance of following the rules, I must confess that in the five years I spent at James Kirk’s side on the Enterprise, I was forced to experience a very different reality. I can assure you, Captain Peterson, that if Captain Kirk had always done things by the book, I would not be here tonight dining with you. Nor would the Enterprise be safe in the drydock.”
Peterson stared at him in silence, his mouth open.
Jim felt his heart warming inside his chest.
They stood up together after finishing their drinks.
Outside the restaurant, Peterson got a little of his charm back, and he leaned towards Spock. “Hey, don’t be a stranger, okay? I know you have a lot to think about… Choosing your new mate, your new captain…”
“Yes.” Spock placed his arms behind his back. “I shall consider my options.”
Peterson turned to Jim. “And you, Admiral. It’s been an eye-opening dinner, I guess. Damn, man, I still can’t believe you reprogrammed the test!”
Jim shrugged. He stepped in front of him. “Perhaps you should remember this, Captain.” He had to raise his head to look him in the eye, but he didn’t care. Jim glanced at Spock for a meaningful moment, then he stared at Peterson again, a smirk on his face. “I don’t like to lose.”
***
Jim had just reached spacedock by air tram when he spotted Bones close to a shuttle. Meetings and seminars on different planets had kept the two of them busy for a week, so Jim was glad to finally have the chance to see his friend again. He hadn’t had free time since his dinner with Spock and Peterson; he deserved a break.
They ordered lunch together in one of the open cafés near the dock.
“Well, Jim, you better tell me what the hell’s the matter with you. You look like you’ve just caught the black plague.”
Jim took a deep breath, trying to relax in his chair. “I’ve had better weeks.”
“Let me guess: problems with Nogura?”
“No, it’s not that.” Jim took a bite from his chicken sandwich. “Just some busy days.”
Bones stared at him. He didn’t look convinced. “Well, I met your pointy-eared boyfriend this morning.”
“Bones.” Jim wasn’t in the mood for that. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. If your friendship is platonic, it certainly doesn’t show.”
“Stop it.” Jim took a sip of water. “It’s not platonic for me, but I think it might be for him. We just misunderstood his gestures.”
“In a pig’s eye!” Bones ignored his meal. “Is that what he told you?”
“No,” Jim admitted. He sighed. “He didn’t have to. We met Daniel Peterson again. Spock asked him to join us for dinner last week.”
“That blond scientist? I saw him with Spock today.”
“You what?”
“I knew he had a familiar face. Now I finally remember where I’d seen him before. He said he was going to Vulcan with Spock.”
Jim’s eyes widened.
Bones stared at him. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me Spock didn’t tell you he was going to Vulcan.”
Jim’s heart missed a beat. “He didn’t.”
“Well, that’s strange.” Bones crossed his arms, lost in thoughts. “Oh, don’t worry, Jim, he’s not running away this time. That’s the first thing I asked him, and he said he’ll be back in five days. It’s not the kolineer this time.”
“Kolinahr,” Jim corrected him. “I know it can’t be that. He must have another reason to go.” He looked at the half sandwich still in his hands. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
Bones grimaced. “Why would he go to Vulcan with Peterson? You don’t think it’s pon farr again, do you?”
“No. It hasn’t been seven years yet.” Perhaps Jim should have felt weird for having this intimate knowledge about his closest friend, but he didn’t. It was just one of the many things he knew about Spock – and Peterson did not. “It could be some form of prearrangement.”
“You mean a betrothal?” Bones asked, not sounding convinced.
“Yes.” Jim’s eyes were unfocused on his plate. “Didn’t you say the same things when we met Peterson? Spock risked his life during his first pon farr, so now it’s only logical for him to look for a mate in good time.”
“Well, if it’s true, you just need to find out why that mate isn’t you.”
“It’s not that simple.” Jim had thought a lot about their last dinner together. He hated that he’d been too busy to plan another date with Spock; he wanted to, this time making sure it was just the two of them. “I thought we were getting there, but Peterson showed up again in his life.”
“And?”
“…And I haven’t told Spock how I felt. I just beat around the bush, waiting for the best time.”
“Well then.” Bones stood up, glancing at his wristwatch. “I heard that the shuttlecraft to Vulcan takes off every day at 2 PM. Maybe this is the best time you’ll get.”
Jim stood up as well, leaving his half sandwich on the dish. Spacedock wasn’t too far from their café, but it was the biggest one on Earth, and… “Only 10 minutes left.”
“Damn it, Jim!” Bones clenched his fists. “What the devil are you waiting for? You’ve dealt with worse scenarios out there in way less than 10 minutes.”
“You’re right.”
“Of course I am!” Bones slapped Jim’s back. “Now go! Run! Get your damned Vulcan!”
Jim did it.
***
His breath was heavy when he reached the last escalator of spacedock. He bent, his hands on his knees. The muscles of his legs hurt – he wasn’t getting any younger – but it didn’t matter.
“Oi, move! You’re blocking the way!” A young woman yelled at him.
“Sorry.” He started running on the escalator, trying to dodge the crowd.
Two minutes left.
He could do it.
He hadn’t become a Starfleet legend for running out of breath.
A sturdy man slammed into him. “Fuck you! Watch your steps, idiot!”
Jim was losing patience. “Go climb a tree.”
He ran away, only to bump into someone he barely saw.
“The hell are you doing, you dumb ass!”
One minute. He had no time for this. “Double dumb ass on you!”
Perhaps his personal repertoire of insults would have benefited from some improvements, but not today.
Jim looked at the crowd in the distance, trying to catch sight of a tall dark-haired silhouette.
Then he saw him.
He was on the opposite side, close to one of the last shuttlecrafts, surrounded by a mixed crowd from all over the galaxy.
Jim ran, dodging again the people in the way. “Spock!” he called out loud. “SPOCK!”
He was so focused on his goal that he almost forgot about Spock’s Vulcan hearing. Jim didn’t need to yell to be heard. He did it anyway.
In the distance, Spock turned. Next to him, Peterson noticed Jim as well.
“Spock!” The crowd opened to let Jim run. Maybe they recognized him. Maybe they thought he was crazy. He didn’t care. “Spock,” he said again, trying to catch his breath. “Don’t marry him!”
Spock didn’t move, his eyes on Jim.
“Spock, please…” Finally, Jim stopped in front of him, his hands once again on his knees. “You don’t really know him, and he doesn’t know you!” He removed the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his uniform. “Nobody knows you better than I do. And despite that, I never told you how I felt.”
Spock swallowed. “Admiral, I am content to see you. However–”
“No, Spock, let me talk. You can reject me later.”
“I do not wish to rej–”
“Listen to me first.”
“Admiral, I believe this is hardly–”
“I want you to know.”
“Not–”
“Spock, I just–”
“Jim.”
Jim snapped back to his senses. Spock placed his hand on his shoulder. For a moment, it felt as if nothing else existed in the universe. Perhaps it was true.
Spock’s eyes betrayed his emotion as he spoke again. “Please, Admiral, not in front of the cadets.”
Jim blinked. Then he looked around.
At each of their sides were dozens of young students from Starfleet Academy. They knew who they were. Anyone who joined Starfleet had heard of the legendary Admiral Kirk and Commander Spock.
Jim forced a smile as he turned to Spock again. “Well, Mister Spock… Perhaps we should continue our conversation in my office.”
“A logical decision, Admiral.”
Before he left, Jim glanced one last time at Peterson. The guy looked astonished.
Jim grinned as he turned to reach the escalator, Spock walking at his side. He had a feeling that a little part of himself was thinking ‘Take that, loser!’; probably not, because it was childish, and Jim was a decorated officer… On the other hand, it wasn’t his fault Peterson was a loser.
Jim and Spock didn’t talk inside the air tram that brought them to Starfleet Headquarters.
When they finally entered Jim’s office, Spock stood in front of the desk, his hands behind his back.
Jim locked the door. “I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the ice. “I should have talked to you another time, but this is my last chance, and I can’t lose you without even trying.”
“Jim…” Spock looked at him. “I confess that I do not know why you are talking about last chances. It is unclear to me what you’re referring to.”
“You were going to Vulcan with Peterson. You didn’t tell me anything, but I know you need a mate. I can put two and two together.”
“I apologize for not telling you I was going to Vulcan; I did not have the chance this week. However, Captain Peterson is not my mate, nor do I wish to marry him.”
“What?” Jim blinked. “Then why the trip together?”
Spock tilted his head. “We are taking the same shuttlecraft, but we don’t have the same plans. He is attending a seminar, while I am visiting my parents.”
“Oh.” Jim stepped closer. “So you two aren’t…”
“He is undoubtedly attracted to me. However, I have made clear to him that his attraction is unrequited.”
Jim blinked. Then he frowned. “But the other night, at the restaurant, you implied your potential mate was sitting at our table!”
Spock raised his eyebrow.
“No, no, wait a minute.” Jim lifted his index finger. “If you meant me, then why did you ruin our date? I asked you out, Spock! We were supposed to be alone. Why did you invite him?”
“I admit that it might not have been the best decision on my part. I wished to see Peterson to hear about his new project, but my schedule for the week was full. Besides, you had not referred to our dinner together as a date, so I decided that asking you to invite a third person could be a way to find out about your real intentions.”
Jim stared at him. “What?”
“I believed that if you thought we had a romantic date, you would have told me that I could not bring anyone else.”
“I can’t believe it.” Jim groaned. “I thought you misunderstood everything. I thought I misunderstood you.”
“Jim. We are the best team in Starfleet; we do not need words to communicate during extreme emergencies. However, it is possible that in this specific scenario, we should be more explicit.”
“Yeah.” Jim sighed. “Then let me be as explicit as I can.” He smiled, feeling his chest warming up as he took another step closer. “I’m in love with you, Spock. I want to be your mate, I want to marry you for your next pon farr, and I want to kiss you right now.”
A slight smile appeared on Spock’s face. “I believe that all of this can be arranged.”
Jim leaned in, his hands on Spock’s shoulders, but he didn’t close the distance. “Well, if you want the whole truth… I’m also jealous of Peterson. I’m sorry, I’m just an irrational human. I know it’s wrong. You just wanted a new friend, and I just wanted to punch his face.”
“Yes, that was rather obvious.”
Jim smiled. “All right, I promise I’ll try to be nicer to him, as long as he stops flirting with you. You’re off-limits, period. And if he pretends not to get it, I’ll–” He took a deep breath. “I won’t kick his ass, just because I know you’ll be there to stop me.”
“Indeed.” Spock’s expression betrayed his amusement. “I believe it is my turn to be direct.” He placed his hands on Jim’s waste. “Jim. You are the most important person in my life. I went to Gol because I was afraid of the depth of my feelings for you. I hurt you, and for that, I am sorry.”
“I know.” Jim thought he could get lost in Spock’s eyes. “I get it now. You weren’t ready.”
Spock nodded. “Furthermore, I wish to inform you that your jealousy does not bother me. On the contrary, in the years of our close friendship, I believe I’ve grown fond of your human flaws.”
Jim chuckled.
Their heads moved closer to each other, their bodies still wrapped in an embrace.
“Wait.” Jim stopped again before they could kiss. “What about your career? You said you wanted another mission in space.”
“Correct.” Spock held Jim with more confidence. “I trust Starfleet Command will understand that the Enterprise should be reassigned to you. Of course, I also trust you will choose me again as your First Officer.”
Jim felt his heartbeat speeding up. “I thought you wanted to follow Peterson on his ship.”
“Most illogical.” Spock titled his head. “I only have one Captain.”
This time Jim didn’t wait. He lifted his head and pressed his lips against Spock’s.
He wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck, getting lost in this new feeling.
They still had a lot to talk about, a lot to figure out about each other. But there was time for that, and for every challenge that awaited their future.
What mattered now was that their journey continued.