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Natalie would always remember the last day with her Papa. He’d been sick for a while, day by day able to do less and less, his hours awake shorter and shorter. The day had to come some day. But it always seemed to come too soon. That day he lay in his bed, too tired to get up or even have his soup. The now cold bowl of chicken soup sat on his nightstand with his glasses and watch. Natalie held his hand, the tears already welling in her eyes. He couldn’t go, not yet. She wouldn’t allow it.
“Papa, please, have some of your soup, you need your strength. We have the ceremony tomorrow, you have to show everyone what you have made.” Natalie pleaded with him, but the old man just smiled.
“Ah, mon bébé, I am not hungry now. You are such a sweet girl, so like your mother. You both always worry too much about me.” His chuckle twisted into a weak cough. Even those lacked strength now. “It will not be much of a problem if I miss the unveiling. You did most of the hard work, Natalie.” His hand cupped over hers, rubbing the back of her scarred hand.
Each second saw his pulse grow fainter, his frail hands a little colder. Natalie felt him slipping away even as she held his hand tighter. A curious trill and the patter of small feet heralded the arrival of the newest member of their small family: a ragdoll kitten named Nikola. He leapt onto the bed and purred against Luc’s arm. They had found him only a couple months ago and after begging her Papa to keep him, Natalie at last got a pet.
“Nikola is here, oh he loves you very much Papa. Aren’t you happy we kept him?” Natalie’s voice cracked. The silly little cat was fascinated by his workshop and when her Papa slept in his armchair, Nikola would surely be curled up on his lap.
He reached over, arm shaking but determined. Nikola rubbed his grey smudged face up into his palm, his purring only growing louder. As the kitten made biscuits on the sheets, the old man cupped his daughter’s face. How foolish he felt now. She was young and yet no longer the little girl he remembered teaching math to her Nessies. What he too would give for more time with her ; not the apprentice, not his helper, but his little girl. He fought his tears better than she did.
“Yes. Yes, mon papillon, I am very glad that we kept him. What a wonderful friend he will be for you.” He smiled. When they found him under a dumpster, alone and crying, his first thought was to bring him to the shelter like all the other strays Natalie brought home. But he knew his time was coming soon, and that when he was gone, his Natalie would be all alone. Making friends was hard for her, and some of that had been his own doing. Perhaps a small friend would not make her feel so lonely. “You will have to take care of him, he has a habit of finding trouble. Or maybe he will have to keep you out of trouble, Natalie.” Again he could only laugh for a moment before coughing.
The last thing that Natalie said to him was a broken and cracked Papa . His breaths slowed, his pulse faded. As peacefully as falling asleep he was gone. Natalie cried. She cried until her throat hurt. As she ran out of tears, a sound joined her sobs: a subtle and curious trill.
“Can you tell me anything about myself?” Wraith sighed on a park bench. The woman claiming to be her sister spouted some generic garbage about a family vacation to Harmony, a long term boyfriend she broke up with over text, and a fight they had before she crashed her car and lost her memories. It was transparently bullshit. Wraith knew she was with the IMC so a trip to Harmony was off the table. She was a lesbian. And she sure as hell didn’t lose her memories in a car crash. Like everyone else, all this woman wanted to do was exploit her.
Getting her to leave took some doing. She kept throwing out more lies, more desperate attempts to make Wraith believe her. Her real name was Margret, her favorite color was red. Wraith rolled her eyes and shooed the liar from her sight. This happened everytime and yet always some part of her hope was crushed, chipped away like the trunk of a tree being hacked by an ax. A collapse felt inevitable. Wraith kicked a rock down the footpath.
Hundreds of people had come forward: her half dozen fathers, thirty siblings, countless aunts and uncles. Each one lied through the teeth about her, hoping to get their hands on some of that Apex Games money. That’s all they wanted. None of them gave a damn if Wraith was happy, if she accidentally ignored her actual family because of all the grifters. It was just tell the famous crazy woman what she wants to hear and hold out your hand for cash. Somehow it made her feel more lost than when no one knew her name. Her fake name at least.
The way she saw it now was that there were two possibilities: her family was gone, or they wanted nothing to do with her. Both left her adrift and alone.
If they were gone, how could she ever know? Was she doomed to wander the Outlands without a name, a history, a person left to care about her? Closure would be a distant dream without even a grave to honor. But the second felt more like the truth: that her past was what created her loneliness. And then too would she be damned to walk the Outlands without a family. Her nature would be immutable, always pushing away those who cared for her. Her hand curled into a fist. She didn't want to be alone, but maybe that wasn’t her choice anymore. Maybe she was always going to be Wraith the solo; no friends, no family.
Nikola had taken up making biscuits in Natalie’s lap as his full time job. The blanket was apparently not comfy enough and Natalie was not about to disturb him while he worked. His adorable murmured sounds and purrs forced her to forgive him for the claws that stabbed into her thigh. At least she had a second set of hands to get her what she needed.
“Merci, amour.” Natalie hummed as a mug of tea lowered into her hands and a kiss was placed on her forehead. Nikola trilled and rubbed his face on the warm mug before setting back to his busy work kneading the blanket.
“You’re welcome. How is our baker doing?” Renee laughed and scratched behind his ears. Her arm wrapped around Natalie while she fiddled with her own project. It was a new cat toy for Nikola, an autonomous mouse to keep him entertained while his moms were in the Games. All Natalie had to do was get it to navigate the house properly.
“He is a busy boy, but you are making good biscuits, aren’t you mon chat un bête? ” She leaned down and smooched his fuzzy little head, failing to stop his rampant biscuit making. Renee’s head landed on her shoulder and her girlfriend made a small whine. “Ugh, fine and one for you too mon fantome. You two are so needy.” Natalie giggled and kissed her cheek.
Having Renee made the cottage feel like home again. Waking up in the morning to the smell of bacon frying (or in the first couple weeks, burning), finding flowers left on her bedside table, or just knowing that Nikola had company while she traveled filled her heart with happiness again. At first it was strange, but having a family again left those years of loneliness feeling so distant. The cottage was no longer a place she simply passed through, it was a place she lived and was loved.
“You make funny faces when you’re focused.” Renee mumbled and kissed Natalie’s shoulder. The engineer shot her a look. “Okay, I’ll stop distracting you. How is she doing, Nikola, do you think she needs a break?” Her question was answered with a curious trill before Nikola abandoned Natalie’s lap for Renee’s and set to work on another batch of biscuits. Above her winces of pain from his claws, she heard Natalie giggling.
It was moments like these that Renee forgot about Wraith, she forgot about the labs, and she forgot about her past. In this cottage she was wanted. She had found a family in Natalie, a place of unconditional love and comfort. There was nowhere left to look, she had found all the family she needed. Wraith, Renee, ghost, it didn’t matter who she was, Natalie loved her. Holding her meant there was nothing to worry about except electrical fires and making sure Nikola had enough treats. She kissed Natalie’s neck. Like Nikola and his biscuits, she couldn’t help herself. Natalie curled her arm around Renee’s head and scratched her like a cat, drawing a very content and cat like purr from the skimisher.
Day by day, the understanding that this was forever if she wanted it to be felt more real. Like pieces of a broken plate being glued back together, Renee and Natalie had gone from disparate and lonely halves, to one whole again. Nothing in their lives had ever felt so right or so obvious. Of course they were together, where else could they possibly be? Their found family was all they needed. A cozy house, a silly cat, and a trash bin full of shorted electronics, that was domestic life the way it was meant to be. And as Nikola at last competed biscuits and curled up on Renee’s lap, Natalie rubbed her cheek in her girlfriend’s. She never had to be alone again.