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"Thank god that's over."
"It wasn't that bad, Stephen."
"It was that bad, Gerald."
"I'll admit, it's not the best Streetcar I've ever seen. It did… deviate a bit, from the usual plot. A lot."
"What do you mean, not the best? You've seen it before?"
"Of course. Loads of times. I've loved Williams since I did Glass Menagerie in the leaving cert."
"You've seen that multiple times, and still went back for more? And dragged me along to suffer too."
"Not this production, no, obviously not. Other ones, though, over the years. They were better."
"Ah. So you go and see the same play twice, but not the same production."
"Ye. Not usually. Sometimes. If it's really good. Something really, really well done. I saw an amazing Hamlet once, life-changing stuff, and it was so good I went to Kerry the next week to see it again."
"You went all the way to Kerry to see a play you'd just seen?"
"It was really good! It changed everything I thought I knew about Shakespeare, about theatre…"
"Like how?"
"If I tried to explain, would you try to understand? Or would you just slag me."
"Fair point. It wasn't going to change your life twice though, was it."
"No… but I wanted to see it again, while I could. Theatre is ephemeral, you have to see it while you can. Besides, you can never truly see the same show twice. Not truly the same. Every night is its own creation."
"So it was different? In Kerry."
"Well, no. It was pretty much identical. I mean, they're professional actors. It's their job to get it right every night. But the beauty of theatre is there's always that potential. That's why it's so exciting, there's an energy to live performance that film can never match. That frisson of excitement that tonight of all nights might be the night something goes wrong."
"At least if it went wrong tonight there might have been a few laughs."
"It's a Streetcar Named Desire! What did you expect? It's not famously laugh-a-minute."
"I expected Marlon Brando. And stale popcorn. And that song about New Orleans."
"Song!? You thought it was a musical!?"
"Jesus! The look on your face. That was a joke. My point was, I expected a night at the cinema with my best mate, go for a few pints after, have a bit of a laugh. Fall asleep on the Northern Line and end up in, I dunno, Chiswick. I didn't expect to get cramp in my jaw from faking enjoyment at the theatre."
"Like you've never faked it before."
"Was that… were you slagging me? Aww, they grow up so fast!"
"Shut up. You thought we were coming to London, theatre capital of the world, paying a month's rent for three nights in a hotel, to see a film we could probably watch on Netflix. A film, in fact, I have on DVD. Twice."
"I thought we were coming to London for a lads' weekend! Booze, bad food, more booze, maybe some light debauchery… and you just happened to find out it was on in some cinema."
"You… thought this was a lads' weekend? Where are the lads? I, famously, am not one of the lads, as you take great pains to point out. Regularly."
"London's expensive! I thought they couldn't afford it. I could only afford it because you let me take the second bed in your room, which, you know, thanks for that. Lucky they only had twins left, hey."
"Ye. Lucky. You seriously thought this was a lads' weekend? The National Gallery, afternoon tea at the Ritz, the sunset cruise on the Thames, a private walking tour of Jane Austen's London…"
"A private walking what!?"
"Didn't I tell you? That's tomorrow morning. You think this is my idea of a lads' weekend? They'd have eaten me alive! I would never, ever have heard the end of it, what tiny reputation for craic I've managed to build up would be shredded. You think I'm that clueless?"
"Not clueless, no, just… I thought you changed the plan when the others couldn't come. Made it a bit more… Geraldy. You thought it was, what, a romantic getaway?"
"Well, it would be…"
"Ha! Nice one! Turns out you have got the craic!"
"I… it wasn't meant… I didn't…"
"What's that?"
"Never mind. Nothing."
"So, where next?"
"Back to the hotel? I'm pretty knackered, wouldn't mind an early one."
"Not a chance! You drag me to something you like…"
"I didn't actually like it, just to remind you."
"Ye, but you at least expected to like it. You presumably didn't book it thinking 'this is going to be awful'. So now we're going to do something I expect to like."
"Such as?"
"Get your phone out, the tube map baffles me. Tell it I want to go to Soho. I've heard great things."