Chapter Text
Lizzie hurried to get inside her dorm and throw her things off to the ground, as in coat and purse, knowing for a fact that another was the case, she’d have carefully left her things in the coat rack next to her door. But there was no time – there was, actually, she just didn’t want to wait more minutes than the seven hours she’d been staring at this bag in impatience.
Running through the living room to get to her room, she kicked off her shoes and jumped on her bed, reaching out for her laptop on her nightstand. Pulling the bag upside down, her hands moved all the papers and pens and chocolate bars, to find the one USB flash drive that she needed.
Lizzie adjusted herself against her pillows and placed the dark blue laptop on her lap, connecting the USB flash drive to it.
A wide smile broke through her lips to catch in the folders. She was going to click on the “videos” one, but hesitated… she’d been thinking for the past seven hours that she’d get home and watch the videos, go through the pictures, and remember every memory that came with them.
That was the problem.
She wouldn’t have any problem in remembering everything; like she didn’t have it present every day of her life, but actually seeing the pictures and videos… maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all.
She wasn’t sure that she was ready to look back and appreciate the good memories with nothing but love.
The love was still there, but so was the pain – the pain of knowing she didn’t have it anymore and that she was only left with pictures and videos.
Lizzie swallowed hard, disconnected the USB flash drive from her laptop, and closed it.
Maybe another day.
Lizzie opened her laptop, smiling at the signal that she finally got. Sipping from her cocoa, she quickly went to the new folder that she’d created just yesterday, and started going through the many pictures she’d taken on her first day in this town.
Always so critical of herself, she realized she should’ve made more of the sun shining against the grass or through the lake she’d found – she’d been so excited to use her new camera that she didn’t realize she could be taking better pictures…
Lizzie inhaled deeply and shook her head to herself; the idea for this trip was exactly to not go over there, to give a break to her overthinking brain, she couldn’t start criticizing the one thing that helped her escape from that.
Speaking of – she took her video camera from inside her bag and opened it, smiling to see the battery was back. Adjusting herself to the chair, she pointed it to the window that she was sitting by, and started recording the outside, trying to focus on the water drops falling on the window, or against the street painted wall across the street. Once she believed she got a good shot, she started slowly moving it around, into the coffee shop that she’d been sitting in for the past half an hour.
Moving the video camera around, she zoomed in on the old, wooden tables, the drawings of the pastries and coffees to buy, and some distant people in the back of the shop, eagerly chatting up.
But as she started zooming out the scene, Lizzie tilted her head to see some long, auburn hair falling on someone’s back… and she blinked to see the profile of the auburn hair’s owner.
A very beautiful, young woman… leaning over a sketchbook, so concentrated on whatever she was drawing there.
Lizzie was kind of taken back by the girl’s beauty… so taken back that she didn’t realize she was still recording when that girl looked up, and caught her with her video camera pointing at her.
Her eyes widened in shock and embarrassment as she closed the video camera, quickly leaving it at the table.
Oh no.
She didn’t mean to be filming the girl without her consent, and now she was caught doing exactly that, and looking very much like a creep.
Lizzie nervously saved the video camera in her bag, her laptop, and her book, knowing that it’d be a matter of seconds for the girl to storm over to her and demand she deleted that – which she was obviously going to – and to call her out in front of everyone for it.
God this was so embarrassing.
But as she was gathering her things and preparing the apology in her head, Lizzie gave a quick glance to the other girl, seeing she was up on her feet, but not heading towards her like she should… her arms were wrapped around her sketchbook as she turned around and hurried to walk through the coffee shop to get out.
Lizzie’s eyes grew bigger to realize what was happening; the girl was scared of her and probably believing she was some weird pervert… was she going to report her somewhere?
Oh god.
She quickly took her bag and sped up her steps to go after the girl… which was going to increase her theory that she was a weirdo stalking her, but Lizzie had to apologize and explain.
“Hey you! Hey!” The auburnette, shorter girl she realized now, only quickened her steps under the rain, as Lizzie did too, cursing herself to not bring an umbrella, though it wasn’t raining so hard. But she cursed herself more to realize she had to be scaring the shit out of the girl, even if it was still daylight. “Hey, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that, I was just recording around!”
That got the shorter auburnette to stop right on her tracks, and slowly turn around to face her. Lizzie stopped walking as well, just a few feet away from her, trying to steady her breathing from the short run she had to do… or maybe to notice how much prettier the other girl was, from up close.
Her eyes were blue, but like gray-blue, blinking up to her through the annoying rain still falling on them, with an equal speed up breathing, if her chest rising up and down as she held on to her sketchbook for dear life was any sign of it. Lizzie noticed there was a deep blush on her pale cheeks, and she couldn’t tell if that was from anger for her stalking or from embarrassment to be chased down the sidewalk like this… by a stalker.
“I swear I’m not a stalker,” Lizzie blurted out the first thoughts in her head, blinking to see how slightly surprised the other girl was. Oh, she really was giving the crazy stalker type. “I just wanted to make sure that you know I do not record people without their consent, I am going to delete that video, I didn’t mean to film you or anything, I just –” her lips closed a moment… she couldn’t tell her she’d been too distracted by how pretty she was that she didn’t think to put the video camera down. “I just got distracted, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have –”
“It’s okay…” the auburnette whispered, as Lizzie stopped short to hear the voice… too quietly, too sweet. “I didn’t mind, I –”
There was a strong wind as the rain became suddenly harder. Lizzie almost struggled to walk forward and get under a little roof from a house, just as the auburnette tried to do the same, but in her attempt to run over to there, the sketchbook slipped from her arms, falling right on the sidewalk, along with the bags she was holding.
Lizzie gasped and felt so sorry for her that she hurried back to help her, but she was more than taken back that when she reached out for the sketchbook to pick it up, she found a very beautiful, delicate drawing of someone – a woman… herself.
That had to be her face features, and her long hair, and there were even some colors… some light yellow on what was supposed to be the hair, and some light-blue color in the woman’s face.
“What –”
“Shit.”
“Is that…”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the shorter girl started to blurt out, shaking her head desperately and blue eyes growing wide as ever. “I just draw… things, or people sometimes, but I never make anything of it, I swear, I didn’t mean to –”
Lizzie was ready to yell at her, because how on earth was she drawing her but not asking her? But water drops getting on her mouth to do just that stopped her as she realized something; the girl was drawing her – her gaze moved back and forth between the now closed sketchbook, perfectly saved between the auburnette’s arms, as she kept rambling about her apology and how sorry she was.
That was why she’d run off then – did she think she caught her drawing her?
But most importantly; why was this pretty girl drawing her?
“Why were you drawing me?” The coffee shop wasn’t that full, but there were definitely more people to draw… people closer to her; their tables weren’t even that close, so how did she spot her between everyone? To hear her question, the girl’s rambling suddenly stopped, looking as she’d been caught – once again. Lizzie couldn’t help the little grin on the side of her mouth, much less to see the way her already pinkish cheeks became redder. “I’m Lizzie.”
The auburnette blinked once… twice, lips parting and closing as Lizzie tried not to get too excited about this; maybe she was just drawing her because she found her… interesting to draw, and that was all.
But that only thought already made her heart beat faster.
“I’m Hope.”
“Well, Hope,” she took a step closer, little grin only growing to see Hope’s lips closing tightly, with her blue gaze perfectly fixed on hers. “I’d invite you back to the coffee shop so we can talk about your drawing hobby and my filming hobby, but I’m soaked wet… so… maybe I can get your phone number and we can have some coffee later?”
Hope was a little bit surprised again, and Lizzie couldn’t understand what was so shocking about it… she was such a pretty girl that there was no way this was the first time someone was asking her out – her face fell to realize something.
Maybe she wasn’t even into women.
Lizzie opened her mouth, ready to disguise her invitation as an only friendly one, but Hope was faster than her in struggling with her bags to take something out… and she couldn’t stop her excitement – and relief – from growing to see that she was ripping a piece of paper from her sketchbook and had already a pen in hand, quickly writing a number on it… as much as she could with the annoying rain still falling upon them.
Thank god it was summer, or else they’d have frozen to death playing this little game.
“Here,” Hope handed it out to her, and Lizzie was quick to take it and save it in the pocket of her jacket, safe and sound from the rain that could wipe out the numbers that she’d definitely be looking into as soon as she got to her rented room. “I, um, I’m still sorry, about –”
“No worries,” Lizzie grinned… she wasn’t in any position to judge her; she was the one to be too stunned by her beauty to even make a scene that she’d been drawing her first. She eyed her up and down slightly, as creepy as the circumstances were because they both looked like a creep stalker to the other, and just like the weather wasn’t the best, something told her that she wouldn’t regret this. “Maybe you can make it up with that coffee that we’re going to have…” Hope smiled softly to that, and so did Lizzie, finding her cuter than she already was. “See you soon, artist girl.”
Hope nodded slowly, but her smile grew, which Lizzie considered a win as she smiled back and turned around, hurrying to walk away to get out from this rain… but to arrive at her place, and get that phone number in her contacts already.
She already knew the name she’d write to it.
Hope the Artist.
Hi.
I got my video camera back two weeks ago, I downloaded the pictures and videos in a USB flash drive.
But I still hadn’t looked at them.
I still want to look at them with you.
Lizzie looked at the phone’s screen, seeing her texts had been sent, but like always, there was no response. Not even a sign that it’d reached the other side.
“Hey dude! What’cha doing?” Lizzie saved her phone back in her pocket, and shrugged, knowing it’d be of no use to hide what she was doing… Jen, her best friend, seemed to understand as she completely flopped down on the grass, right in front of her. “Texting her again?”
She swallowed hard, and looked down to the book opened on her lap. “I thought you’d be in your classes.”
“I skipped,” Lizzie’s gaze snapped back to the petite redhead sitting across her, rolling her eyes to her proud grin. “Because Ben says he and the others are going to the lake to chill and stuff. That’s why I’m here.”
“You mean to get high and stuff?” Lizzie whispered, eyes moving back down to the book as she started a new page. “Pass.”
“I ran out of it actually, maybe tomorrow… so for now, only chilling at the lake,” Jen cheerfully explained, but Lizzie didn’t look up at her, confirming her decision. A minute or two must’ve passed, before there was a deep sigh coming from her friend. “Dude, you can’t keep shutting everyone out… we’re your friends, and what better way to distract yourself than with your friends?”
She closed her book shut, eyes looking up to her in a glare.
“I don’t need to distract myself,” Jen let out another sigh, watching as she saved her book in her bag and got up. “And you know I don’t do lakes.”
“Well, you used to.”
Lizzie chose to only raise an eyebrow to her in response before holding on to her bag and turning around, walking away to stop herself from letting it out on her friend when she didn’t deserve to.
Yes, she used to do lakes… love them even.
But not anymore.
“Come on Hope, let’s go!”
“But Lizzie…”
Lizzie only held on to the shorter woman’s hand and ran towards the tree that was supposed to be their bridge to jump into the lake. She smirked to herself to feel Hope running right behind her, never letting go of her hand, as much as she didn’t want to do this… but she knew it was just that shy side that she had, and not because she disliked the idea.
She’d had more than time to figure out that Hope’s shyness was more of an exterior thing, because the closer they got, the more she realized she wasn’t shy at all… but just closed off.
It’d been two weeks since she knew Hope the Artist, or more like, Hope Andrea Mikaelson. Two weeks since that day in the coffee shop and in the rain, and when they met each other looking like completely stalkers… but also two weeks since Lizzie had excitedly arrived to her room, changed into some dry clothes and saved that short auburnette’s contact in her phone.
She’d hesitated for all of… five minutes in whether to text her or not. Lizzie didn’t know why she was so looking forward to speaking to the other girl again; maybe it was how pretty she was, or how pretty her drawing was, or how cute she’d looked when being caught about drawing her.
Five minutes, and she sent the first text.
Hi, is this the artist stalker?
This is Lizzie, the photographer stalker.
Hi Lizzie. Yes this is the artist stalker :)
Lizzie had giggled like a little girl to see that Hope hadn’t taken any offense and continued the joke… and not only that, but continued the conversation going, and going, and suddenly she wasn’t so bored in this new town anymore.
Her idea had been to take the summer off, alone, in a town that she didn’t know and didn’t know her… very far away from home, and from her family issues. She was an adult already, twenty-three, and her mom being a work alcoholic was still affecting her, her father being an actual alcoholic as well… and her sister dealing with this by not dealing with it at all, staying away in Europe, had taught her something.
She wanted out, and so Lizzie took all her savings, asked her mom for some, her dad for some more – claiming it to be child’s compensation, the age didn’t matter, mind you – and flew away from Mystic Falls to across the country to this nice, little town.
She didn’t have a problem in letting Hope know about her running away from her problems to pretend they didn’t exist for two or three months… and just as the days passed, she’d learned the same from this short auburnette.
Hope wasn’t new to this town, she owned an apartment that was ten minutes away from the little apartment Lizzie was staying in, but she’d arrived a week before her, to stay for the whole summer too – family problems, she’d told her. Two years older than her, and Hope all but agreed that parents could still be a pain in the ass even for adults.
But Hope didn’t like to talk much about her parents; in fact, Hope didn’t like to talk much at all – not in person. She’d always let Lizzie talk for minutes and minutes till she’d realize that it was too much and would ask her the questions; that was how her first encounter – date? – had gone after their first one, in the same coffee shop that they’d met.
Lizzie told her about the pretty things in her life, to not scare her away, like her studies, and her new passion in taking pictures of nature, of landscapes, in using her video camera for aesthetic purposes – Hope had laughed at that, but she explained how cute it was the date there and the retro videos, and Hope agreed then… she liked vintage things too.
They had many encounters after that, but Lizzie didn’t know if they were… dates. She’d learned a lot from Hope in all of them, like that she loved drawing and painting, that she had a workout routine, that she liked peanut in almost every drink, that she’d been in this town twice and so then had the chance to take her to some places to visit, but she’d also learned that Hope had many walls.
She never said if she had any friends back home. She never mentioned if she had any boyfriend… or girlfriend, back home. Lizzie had been desperate to confirm if she had a chance or not, if Hope’s gentle blue eyes and soft smiles meant something, or if it was her mind and heart trying to make her believe that.
So sue her, but she’d casually tried to take her shot in like the fourth time that they saw each other for a tour in a museum that Hope claimed was very cool.
“This isn’t like you know, a date… right? I wouldn’t want your boyfriend to be jealous back home.”
“Oh… I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Oh,” a pause. “And girlfriend?”
“No, I don’t…” another pause. “Do you?”
“Not at all.”
There was no way her mind was fooling her that time, because she couldn’t forget the way Hope grinned to herself when she thought she wasn’t looking, the brightness in her blue eyes; she’d noticed they were light-blue after all, and changed colors depending on the weather… coming to that realization was what told Lizzie she had to be better in controlling her crush, or else she’d freak Hope out by the way she could be staring at her face whenever she was too passionate in talking about her likings.
Coming back to reality, Lizzie let go of Hope’s hand to get to the big tree in front of the lake, with its large and huge branch hanging over the water. Hope had told her that many people would come to here to jump into the lake, and Lizzie had begged her to take her here.
“We have to jump, I always wanted to do this and my sister was too much of a chicken when we were younger, please!”
“But –”
Lizzie didn’t think much of what she did next, because she was never shy or ashamed of her body, and it was getting too hot anyway; she pulled her shirt up her head, threw it away, and pulled down her shorts, staying in her underwear… but then she realized where she was, and in front of who.
Hope was frozen on the spot, blue eyes discreetly scanning her, just as Lizzie’s cheeks burned – she needed to get it together for god’s sake.
“You’re not going to let me jump in alone now, are you, Mikaelson?”
“Oh, uh, well…” right when Hope struggled to find the right words, with her own face reddening, Lizzie found the confidence again to smirk up. “I could get in like this…”
Lizzie shrugged but nodded; it was true she’d learned that Hope was pretty shy only at first, but she was still coming around, and the least thing she’d want to was to make her uncomfortable.
“Sure. Last one doesn’t get to pick movies for a week!”
Truly stupid if you asked her, but she’d also learned Hope was pretty competitive, so Lizzie didn’t hesitate to jump up on the tree and run as well as she could towards the lake… wasting no time to jump into the water.
Coming up to the surface, Lizzie was about to tell Hope she’d won, when she looked around, and noticed Hope was still by the tree… just staring at her.
“What are you doing there? Come in!” Lizzie swam back a bit, trying to search in her mind if Hope had told her that she didn’t know how to swim or was scared of it, but there was nothing of that – if she remembered correctly, she’d told her that she’d swam here, once. “Come on, Hope! The water is so good…”
Lizzie kept herself on the surface, seeing as Hope hesitated for a moment… before pulling her blank tank top over her head and throwing it away, stripping down her sweatpants, and staying in only her underwear, just like her.
But there was nothing of the confidence Lizzie had had just seconds ago as she watched the auburnette jumping on the tree and starting to walk on it to get to her – Hope was too stunning, too beautiful… she couldn’t believe that there was even the possibility of this girl liking her back.
But any thought was quickly interrupted when water splashed right on her face, and Hope came up to the surface, in front of her, giggling and pushing her auburn, wet hair back.
Lizzie found her even more beautiful like this.
“Oh you were right; the water is so good…” Hope commented, rubbing the water off her eyes before finally opening them, smile sweetly widening. “And I don’t mind if you pick the movies for the whole week; I want to watch any movie with you.”
Lizzie didn’t know if Hope had those kinds of things planned to say, if it was her game or what… because it wasn’t the first time she’d say things like that; things that any other person would’ve said, and Lizzie would find it cheesy and tease them for them, but whenever it came from Hope, she had to force herself to not smile too much, to push away the blush wanting to creep out on her face because of it.
“I like your summer dresses… I mean I don’t like dresses, but I love how they look on you.”
“What are you talking about, Lizzie? These pictures are amazing… they’re so pretty. I could even make drawings and paintings from some. You know I like to draw pretty things.”
“You never answered.”
“What?”
Lizzie gulped to realize she’d been the one to ask that – she didn’t even know why she’d asked that, but Hope had never answered what Lizzie wanted to know the most.
“That day in the coffee shop… why were you drawing me? The shop wasn’t full, but there were many others… I’m sure there was even more interesting, outstanding people than me.”
She’d gone back to it a million times; remembering that she’d asked for a hot cocoa and had been finishing a book before opening the laptop and taking out her video camera that day. She could never understand why Hope had chosen her to draw, out of everyone.
“Not to me,” Hope quietly answered, but swam closer to her, with such security sparkling in her blue eyes that she hadn’t seen in her since she met her. “I just saw you there, reading your book… smiling to it, and I thought… I’d never seen such a pretty girl before. I had to draw you, to not forget you… even if I knew that I’d never forget that face if I saw you again. And when I saw you with your video camera, I thought you… caught me drawing you and that you were mad. That’s why I ran off.”
Lizzie didn’t know what to say to this… nothing was crossing her mind, more than her own confession to make.
“And I didn’t mean to record you, but… I was too distracted by you, too… because you were too beautiful so concentrated on your drawing.”
Hope blinked and Lizzie wanted to roll her eyes to see the surprise on her expression, like she wasn’t expecting that… like she hadn’t been so obvious on her crush on her since day one, just like she was – but then she was the one surprised to see that disappearing from the auburnette as she swam even closer, her hand slowing moving up to rest on her neck… so softly that it sent chills through her skin.
“Is this… okay?”
And again, other was the person, Lizzie would have taken her face to crash her mouth against hers, to take the air out of both their lungs, showing her how much she’d wanted this… but with Hope, she only briefly nodded in silence, and waited for her to draw closer.
And when she did, when she leaned in and pressed her lips against hers in a gentle kiss, and Lizzie slowly moved her hand underwater to her waist to hold her close… then she knew there was no need for her intensity right here, because Hope’s soft and sweet lips was enough to take the air out of her lungs.
Lizzie rolled her eyes and turned her video camera away from the couple kissing a few meters from her… the day was ugly with the grey clouds in the sky, so there weren’t many options here… she moved the video camera down, and zoomed in on the yellow-orange leaves on the ground.
Soon they’d be gone, replaced by snow; she had to take as many pretty shots as she could.
But a frustrated sigh came out from her lips as she shut the video camera closed – as much as she was forcing herself to keep doing this, it wasn’t the same… she didn’t like any of the new pictures she’d take of landscapes, or the sky, or nature itself.
It all looked dull in her eyes… as if there was some color of all of it that was gone.
Shaking her head to herself and angrily saving the video camera back in her bag, she stood up from the ground and stormed off the park; she should just throw the video camera out for all she cared.
“Hope, what are you doing?”
“Oh – I don’t know what I touched. It’s not going back.”
Lizzie bit her bottom lip but didn’t hide her grin as she leaned over the auburnette’s shoulder and simply zoomed back to the original frame. She’d been attentively watching from the kitchen what Hope was doing on the couch with her video camera, inspecting it, and recording, and stopping, and recording again… zooming in and back, till Lizzie saw her zooming in on her feet, and not going back.
“But I did that –”
“You were pressing too hard.”
Hope scoffed grumpily but Lizzie chuckled lightly, giving a kiss to her cheek; not the first time that impatience got the best of the auburnette to try to do things rough and quick, as calm and composed she could always be.
Walking around the couch with the bowl of popcorn, Lizzie sat at her feet, placing the bowl on the small table in front of them and reaching out for the TV remote, ready to look for the movies they were planning to watch in this rainy day.
But as she kept looking through the horror category – it was Hope’s turn to pick the category and Lizzie’s one to choose the movie – she felt the stare on her… and glanced over to the other woman with the video camera directed towards her.
Not containing the eye roll this time, Lizzie shook her head and looked back at the TV, her free hand reaching out to the popcorn.
“If you are zooming in on my face, I swear –”
“You do it to me all the time!”
“You draw me all the time, too! Just wait till I learn how to draw and paint…”
She really wanted to keep up her façade in being annoying, but Hope’s giggle was always the best way to kill any of that as she welcomed the warmth in her chest every time, and the soft smile that’d bring to her lips.
But then she felt herself being pulled from her arm and onto another body; a tiny but strong one in her opinion, though Lizzie didn’t mind as she adjusted herself against Hope’s side and wrapped an arm around her waist, resting her head next to hers on the cushion.
“Does that mean you’re taking my offer to teach you how to draw and paint?”
“Maybe… if you stop messing around with my video camera.”
“Okay, I’ll stop… for now. I’ve got more entertaining things to do right now.”
Lizzie raised an eyebrow, innocently looking up at her; she did love how sweet Hope was most of time, but she loved whenever her smooth, flirting side came out.
“Yeah? Like what?”
A little smirk curved the auburnette’s lips as she closed the video camera and put it on the table in front of them, sliding down a bit more to completely face her and take her lips in a kiss… very sweet at first, but slowly growing passionate as Hope’s hand wandered down to her back to push her closer and Lizzie’s one took her face to melt more into it.
But she also loved that she was growing used to this… too used that Hope’s kisses felt like an addiction by now, because she could never get enough.
It’d been two weeks since their first kiss, and things had gone faster since then – they were closer, spending almost their entire time with each other, going on dates, to places to visit, hiking… Hope dragging her to her workout routine… and it’d been some days since they started spending their nights together too.
Lizzie’s heart had melted when their make out had got too wild back then, and Hope had stopped it to confess that she’d never been with a girl before… apparently, she’d had two boyfriends, and had made out with girls in some parties, but nothing more than that… and she didn’t want to screw it up with her, because she really liked her.
And as much as Lizzie assured her that she wouldn’t screw up anything with her, she told her that they didn’t have to do anything if she didn’t feel ready, but there was also that security in Hope that she’d only seen back in the lake, and this one was much stronger as she looked right into her eyes to say;
“No. I want this. I want to make love to you.”
She’d felt weak then, and could do nothing but give in to their desire… and Lizzie had to admit that she’d been with girls before, but none of them had made her feel as Hope did – she’d have never guessed that this was the shorter girl’s first time with a girl, or that she wasn’t as shy and sweet in bed as she was in her daily life.
Not that Lizzie minded… one bit.
“Hope?”
“Mhm?”
Lizzie smiled to feel her so unwilling to stop their kisses, but she pulled away, giggling lightly to the way Hope chased for her lips and pouted next when make out time was over.
“I… didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Lizzie quietly started, making sure to lower her hand to Hope’s back in comfort. “But I may have heard you arguing with your dad on the phone, when I was walking out of the shower. Do you, uh, wanna talk about it?”
She regretted it as soon as Hope’s body tensed… and she waited for the snap, though it didn’t come – there was only nervousness and discomfort in Hope to hear that, but no anger or frustration that she brought it up.
“I’m sorry,” Lizzie quickly whispered, with a brief shake of head. “Forget it. I just thought that you’d like to talk about it with someone but –”
“It’s fine,” Hope reassured her in an equal whisper, moving her hand from her back to slide under her shirt, but to softly run circles on her skin with her thumb. “My dad just wants me to come back home, and I don’t want to, not yet. He just gets too overprotective sometimes and can’t see that I’m an adult now… twenty-five years old for nothing.”
Lizzie nodded in understanding – kind of. Her parents were never overprotective over her… but she did understand the ‘being an adult for nothing’ or more like when it’d benefit them.
However, she could see that Hope was more than capable of being an independent person, with a strong personality… but Lizzie sometimes she was too good for people that didn’t deserve that, and sometimes she could see how much she was holding back from letting her temper out.
That was why she’d got curious inside the bathroom to hear her screaming at her dad to leave her alone, that she wasn’t a kid, that he couldn’t control her… and more of the same, before Lizzie stepped out of the bathroom and Hope must’ve heard, because she quickly ended the call then.
“Is… that why you took a break from home? Because he was too overprotective?”
“It wasn’t just him, my aunts and uncles too, sometimes my mom…” Lizzie waited for more, because she did know that Hope’s family was big, but she hadn’t ever told her about the deeper problems with them. “And I get it… when I was young, like… seven, I was in a great danger, but I made it out and since then my family worries too much. But that’s not… the whole reason,” it seemed Hope hesitated to say her next words, because she gave her a quick glance before her gaze fell on her neck again. “Sometimes my family does things that I don’t… approve. My mom and I agreed that I should take these months for myself.”
“Oh…” she didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but it was pretty obvious there was some… illegal thing involved; she could read between the lines. But she hated herself when Hope’s blue eyes snapped back at her, with a light fear and embarrassment flashing through them… which had her shaking her head and holding her a little bit closer to her. “I’m glad you and your mom agreed on it… and don’t worry, I understand. Whatever you want to tell me, I’m here… and what you don’t want to, that’s okay too.”
The fear slowly died off from Hope’s face as she smiled to the side again, keeping on caressing her hip as she leaned closer and rested her forehead against hers, but with her eyes still staring into hers.
“I’m glad too, because I got to meet you.”
Lizzie’s heart skipped a beat, which was happening quite often because of this girl… she drew closer and kissed her again, needing to take that softness of her lips and confirm, over and over again, that she had her for herself.
And quite frankly, she was starting to believe she hated Hope Mikaelson for being so annoyingly perfect… for every one of her gentle kisses and sweet comments, and soft touches… and more than anything, she was starting to hate her for making her fall in love with her so damn quickly.
Lizzie turned around on the couch, hands burying deep under the cushion and eyes looking up to the window across her, seeing the rain falling against the glass. She could hear the big storm forming outside; the thunders and the rain crashing against the window loudly, reminding her of similar storms that she’d been in through the summer.
“Hey dude,” her best friend flopped down at her feet, but she kept her eyes on the window, wondering if she’d be the only one remembering things whenever it rained this hard. “I heard there’s going to be a party for New Year; you know I’m not a fan of parties, but Ben says this is going to be our last New Year party in college, so I thought why not?”
Lizzie bit her tongue, feeling her stomach twisting to have an unwanted memory flashing through her mind… still, she nodded and buried her hands deeper under her red cushion.
“Good for you.”
“Oh no, no good for me, good for you too, because you’re totally coming with me. I already told everyone we’ll be there.” Lizzie frowned and quickly looked at her, but Jen simply grinned and shrugged. “You really didn’t think I’d be going to a party without you, did you? I don’t do parties.”
“I don’t want to go,” of course she knew that Jen wasn’t a party girl and that every time that she’d been to a party, it was because Lizzie had dragged her to it… but she wasn’t in the mood. All she wanted was to lie down on a couch or a bed, and wait for the days to pass, and pass. “Jen, I’m serious –”
“I’m serious too, Lizzie.” That took her back… Jen never called her by her name – Jen never called anyone by their name, period. If she did, it was because it was a serious matter, like the matching frown that she had between her eyebrows. “We all miss you and we know it’s hard to go through this, but this isn’t –”
“I’ll go with you, fine.” Lizzie cut her off before she could continue with a speech, and sat up. “No need for lectures, I don’t want them… and I’ll go make dinner so you can completely keep your mouth occupied.”
It looked like that was enough for the seriousness to fade off from Jen, because she smiled and nodded as Lizzie got up and walked towards the kitchen to prepare some salads.
“Cool, I’ll finish my damn mock-up… do you have any suggestions for like, the digital painting? I’ve tried red and orange already and it doesn’t match my design.”
Lizzie gave her a quick glance, reaching out for a tomato as she shook her head.
“No. You know I’m bad at any kind of painting.”
“You’re not that bad.”
Lizzie raised an eyebrow and looked behind to catch the cheeky grin on Hope’s face… but she focused back on her task, and that was spreading some light red color on this white canvas with her paintbrush. She smiled lightly to her work; her attempt to make a good looking sunset was trash, nothing compared to what Hope’s paintings were, but the intention was there…
But she loved more when said woman came up behind her and wrapped her arms around mind; Lizzie was more than used to Hope’s warm hugs, no matter how hot it could be outside, she’d always welcome her warmth.
She tried to really focus on the painting; on mixing some orange and red on her palette like Hope had taught her, but her mind was more distracted by some soft kisses on the back of her shoulder… which made her chuckle to realize, once again, how short and cute the other girl was.
“If you keep distracting me then this will turn out more awful than it already is.”
“It’s not awful,” Lizzie rolled her eyes to Hope’s insistent kindness, but there was the warmth again to feel another kiss on her shoulder. “It’s not as beautiful as you are, but not even my paintings would reach that level.”
“Feeling smooth now, Mikaelson?”
“Well, I’m still learning from you.”
That got another chuckle from Lizzie as she completely gave up on the painting, leaving the palette and the paintbrush on the small table next to it, and fully turning around in Hope’s embrace, finding her blue eyes already brightening up for her.
“I’d say you’re a quick learner,” Hope grinned and so did Lizzie, her hands moving up to cup the older girl’s cheeks to draw her face closer and kiss her lips, savoring the strawberry taste of them. “Have you thought about it?”
“… what exactly is ‘it’?”
Lizzie mockingly rolled her eyes, but good point, because it was a fact that she’d never shut up, so she had to be more specifically.
“Winter break,” she reminded her as Hope seemed to remember their conversation a few days ago. “I mean, we don’t have to spend the two holidays together, maybe only –”
“Yes,” Hope interrupted her, which surprised Lizzie… she really thought it was a lost cause, but she had the smallest of hopes… pun intended. “Probably New Year, because I’d like to spend Christmas with my mom. And speaking of – I’ve talked with her yesterday too…” she waited, sensing the auburnette was trying to sound mysterious for effects, and confirming it when she smirked up, her hands shifting to the sides for waist to pull her closer. “And she kind of encouraged me to spend a few weeks in a certain Mystic Falls…”
Her face fell.
“You’re kidding.”
“… unless you don’t want to –”
Lizzie literally squealed in happiness and made Hope almost lose her balance by how tight and quickly she hugged her; she really couldn’t believe it.
Summer was going to end soon, and so that had Lizzie – over – thinking that she and Hope would part ways soon… and she was so sensitive a few nights ago that she’d almost cried about it, but Hope had comforted her, telling her that she didn’t want summer to end either, that she felt exactly the same and had been thinking about it… trying to find different options to it.
Like Winter break, for example… they’d decided to think about it, but Lizzie didn’t have to think too much about anything; she wanted to spend Winter break with Hope, or any break that there could be… she knew that going back to college would be hard, to her daily life, because she’d miss waking up as a little spoon to this auburnette, she’d miss Hope’s kisses in the morning and the night, seeing that bright smile and gentle blue eyes every day, going to visit parks and museums and restaurants, and coffee shops… she’d miss it all.
It comforted her days ago that Hope felt the same, but Lizzie couldn’t ask for her to move in to her hometown… and she couldn’t drop out from college, but she also couldn’t picture a life without Hope Mikaelson anymore, because –
“I love you,” Lizzie let out as soon as she moved away, without thinking twice. Hope blinked surprised to the words, but for the first time in her life, Lizzie wasn’t confused about her thoughts and feelings… she loved her, as fast and dreamy that everything was, she didn’t want to keep that to herself… if Hope was willing to move, even for a few weeks, to a simple town just because she was there, she couldn’t keep this in. “I know everything’s too… intense and fast, and it’s okay if you don’t feel it too but I just wanted to tell you –”
“I love you too, Lizzie.” Hope whispered back, her soft smile turning into a bright one as her arms encircled her waist again. “And yeah, everything’s too fast… but I don’t care how fast it can get as long as you’re there… and if you think about it, it’s funny.” Lizzie tilted her head, lightly confused by that, but then Hope shrugged and grinned up again. “I’m fulfilling your theory that I’m stalking you, because I’d go with you anywhere.”
Lizzie shook her head but could do nothing more than to take Hope’s face between her hands and kiss her again, because Hope was far from a stalker… she was the kindest person that she’d ever met, with such peace that Lizzie had needed so much… too good, too perfect for her.
And most importantly, Hope loved her – her, of all people… she couldn’t believe she was this lucky.
Lizzie broke apart and smiled widely, a new idea coming through.
“Oh come! I’ll show you a very beautiful apartment that’s like, only five blocks away from my campus… come!”
Hope giggled but didn’t attempt to stop her when she held on to her hand and dragged her towards her room, ready to find her phone and show her the place.
Lizzie folded her arms together, almost as if hugging herself. She wanted to think it that it was only cause of the cold weather and the snow falling upon her, but perhaps seeing the couple getting boxes out of a car and into the building in front of her was the main reason.
She should’ve stayed in her dorm… what were the odds that the only time that she came to this coffee shop, in front of this building, there would be a couple moving in?
“Worth the wait and walking the five blocks…” Lizzie looked next to her to Jen handing her coffee order, and she took it in silence, giving one last glance to the couple across the street, because of their laughter reaching her. “You good, dude?”
Lizzie sipped from her coffee, swallowing down the painful lump in her throat, and nodded firmly.
“Perfectly fine. Let’s go, I’m freezing.”
“Hey, are you okay?”
Hope seemed to get out of whatever trance she was in, and quickly nodded to her… but Lizzie didn’t buy it.
Her girlfriend – as in two weeks old girlfriend, even if they’d been together for almost three months by now, so details – had been acting strange for the past days… in the sense that Lizzie had noticed she’d be staring at the wall, losing herself in thoughts, and not coming back from them till she’d call for her attention.
Like now, in this party – they were in a club, in a party to say goodbye to summer, but Lizzie was more than glad that she’d be saying goodbye to only this town, and not the girl in front of her… three weeks from now, and she’d be back in Mystic Falls, and Hope would be back in New Orleans, but for just a few weeks to spend time with her family, and finish the arrangements for the apartment that Lizzie had recommended her to rent in her hometown.
“Hope,” Lizzie squeezed the hand that she was holding, needing her to know that she was there for her. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
Lizzie arched an eyebrow; she already knew this girl like the back of her hand. Hope was calm, and quiet, and shy, but with a strong personality all the same… short-tempered, with no patience whatsoever for small things; like things getting broken in any of their places and her breaking them worse… and then apologizing to Lizzie when it was something of hers, over and over again, claiming that she didn’t mean to make it worse.
She’d assure her that it was fine every time, but sometimes Hope would be really upset about it… Lizzie loved how chill and calm she always was, but she did know Hope’s angry side… a side that would only come out whenever she was speaking with her family through the phone.
But only for a brief moment, because Hope would go to another room to keep yelling if she caught her staring… or outside the apartment, or Lizzie would be the one doing that when she realized it made her uncomfortable for her to be there whenever she spoke to her parents.
Hope had explained why, after the first time that she’d found Lizzie standing there, listening to her yelling at her father to leave her alone, and that she’d locked herself in her room to keep talking privately.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Hope quietly said half an hour later. “I just don’t want you to see me like that… that angry. I’m not like that, Lizzie.”
“I know you’re not. But it’s okay to get angry sometimes, Hope.”
“No. Getting angry in my family is not always okay. Trust me.”
Lizzie had wanted to know more about that, but Hope hadn’t talked about that again… and she didn’t want to push her. On one hand, she believed Hope when she told her that her family was overprotective… but considering her closed off attitude, her trying to hold back any anger… her apologizing again and again for any tiny mistake she could make? She was starting to think that maybe Hope’s family had hurt her, and she wasn’t ready to tell her just yet.
“Babe…”
“Lizzie, it’s nothing, really.” Hope pulled from her hand to get her closer, and stand on her tiptoes to give a peck to her lips. “I told you not to wear your high boots…”
Lizzie sighed, but smiled to another kiss, and wrapped her arms around her neck to have her close. “It’s not my fault you’re a gnome,” Hope frowned and pouted dramatically, which had her giggling and kissing the top of her nose. “But you are the cutest gnome I’ve ever met, so…”
That was enough for Hope, because she smiled next and kissed her again, encircling her waist by her arms more, pulling her closer. But they were so immersed into each other, into their kiss slowly heating up more and more in the middle on the dance floor, that when once someone rushed past them, almost running them over, they stumbled, trying to keep the balance… but Lizzie was the one to have it worse, because in an attempt to not let Hope fall, she twisted her ankle, letting out a little cry as Hope’s arms held her firmer and closer.
“Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah…” she groaned, looking down and slowly setting her foot back on the ground. “I think it was just the impact, I’m –”
“Hey you asshole!”
Lizzie’s eyes widened to realize that was Hope screaming, letting go of her in a second when she was all good on her feet, to storm over past her as she turned around just in time to see her pushing a man… that was quite literally twice her size.
“Didn’t you see us there?! Watch where you’re going!”
“If you weren’t getting it on in the middle of the place you could’ve seen me,” Lizzie immediately worried and hurried to get to them when that man gave one light push to Hope’s shoulder in warning. “Now fuck off you annoying –”
Hope, as short and small she was compared to that man, threw herself to him, but luckily for Lizzie, more people got in the middle to separate them before her girlfriend could get to him – the music stopped, the lights turned on, and Lizzie had to beg to the man that was holding Hope back to let her go and that she’d take care of this.
Ten minutes later, and they were back in Hope’s car, sitting in silence.
Lizzie had been trying to find the right words to ask… glancing over to Hope every two minutes. She’d never seen her that angry… she didn’t know Hope could be the angry type to get into fights… with how shy and calm she always was… she sure had some stupidity courage inside her to try to punch a man that was twice her size.
“Hope…”
“I’m sorry,” Lizzie snapped her gaze back to her to hear the crack in her voice, and her heart broke to see the shimmering tears in her blue eyes, and some of them already rolling down her cheeks. That was another new thing; this was the first time she was seeing Hope crying. “I’m sorry, Lizzie. I didn’t mean to ruin the night… I didn’t mean to react like that, I was just too mad that he hurt you… I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay…” Hope shook her head to herself, but kept her gaze down, with the silent tears still coming out. Lizzie reached out for her one of her hands to hold on to it, and made sure to slightly bend down to find her girlfriend’s eyes. “Hope, it really is okay. I was just worried that you could get hurt… he’d have deserved to be punched to be such a dick, but I was worried for you.” Now she wanted to punch that asshole, giving zero fucks that she was smaller and probably weaker than him too; the fact that he brought these tears in Hope’s always kind eyes made her blood boil. “Hey…” her free hand dared to wipe off a few tears on Hope’s right cheek. “You don’t have to be embarrassed or apologize to me. It’s fine.”
“I don’t want to lose my temper like that… I had enough of that back home… I came here to start fresh, and I got it, with your help but… I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want it.”
Lizzie didn’t know how to comfort her, because she didn’t understand what she was saying, but this confirmed her thoughts about Hope’s family being abusive to her… she only wrapped her arms around the shorter girl and held her close, feeling her burying her crying face on her neck so she could let it out the way she needed.
Lizzie pulled her arm up to her face and covered her eyes, but couldn’t stop the incoming sob ripping through her throat… she intended for the tears to go away, but they wouldn’t stop streaming down her face, the sobs wouldn’t stop coming out, and there was nothing she could do about it.
It’d been her birthday yesterday, and she’d tried to keep it together, she’d tried to put up her best smile for her friends and the small party that they’d made for her, but now that was all over… she was letting it all out in her bed, because it hurt too much.
The amount of times she’d stupidly stared at her phone screen, waiting for a call, a text… a sign.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“Dude…”
Lizzie shook her head and buried her face into her pillow, letting out her sobs there… it only hurt more that in the middle of her small birthday celebration, she’d overheard her friends talking about her, and how much she’d changed since summer… and their theories about it.
“But guys…” Alyssa had whispered to the group just as Lizzie was about to come out of the hallway. “Are we sure this isn’t like… an episode or something like that?”
“An episode?” Ben asked next, so confused. “What do you mean?”
“Because of that girl… that Hope,” Alyssa continued, and Lizzie poked her head to see her friends gathered around in the living room, worriedly looking at each other as if thinking the same thing. “Are we sure she’s real?”
“What the fuck, dude?” Jen didn’t hesitate to snap at the brunette. “Why would you say that? Of course she’s real –”
“Is she?” Alyssa pressed on, and Lizzie hated the way the others kept looking at each other, like they were truly considering it. “She’s told us about a summer girlfriend, that she was so nice and kind, and pretty… but she never said what happened to her. She didn’t show us any picture or videos, and she took her video camera and her camera to that trip, didn’t she? I’m just worried. Lizzie hasn’t been herself since she came back.”
“Of course she’s not,” Jen spat out with the same anger than before. “This is the first time she fell in love and that girl got her heart broken. Lizzie feels deeply, but that doesn’t mean she’s been hallucinating a girl for three months. Leave her alone.”
“You can’t listen to them…” Jen tried again, sitting next to her, and Lizzie didn’t have to look up to know she pitied the hell out of her. “They were just worried and they don’t understand…”
“I don’t even understand,” Lizzie turned around in the bed again; her head was starting to hurt from the crying, but she didn’t want to stop either, because she needed to let it out, and Jen was the only one that knew… half the truth, since there wasn’t much that she could tell her. “I just miss her… I miss her so much, Jen. But I know she’s gone… she’s not coming back,” it felt like a knife getting through her chest to say it out loud as she almost chocked in another sob. “She’d have come back already if she wanted to… but she didn’t. I lost her… or maybe I never had her at all.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that…” Jen insisted, and Lizzie hated how optimistic her friend could be. “Maybe it’s matter of time before –”
“No, no…” Lizzie whispered out, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself, but it wasn’t working. All her fears were consuming her. “You don’t get it… Hope is so sweet, so kind… so perfect, anyone can fall in love with her. She must’ve found someone else… she said she’d be back, but it’s been months, Jen. It’s been months and – and she must’ve forgotten about me… and I’m still here hoping and waiting for her, every day. And she moved on. She’s not coming back.”
Now she couldn’t care less about what her friends thought about Hope or her hallucinations, or whatever… she accepted Jen’s squeeze on her arm in comfort, but she buried her face in the pillow again – she just wanted Hope back.
She just wanted to know if she was okay… if she missed her as much as she did; if she still loved her. If all these three months meant to her as much as they did to her. She just needed a sign… but there was nothing.
Seven months, and there was no sign of Hope.
So much for summer love.
Lizzie buried her face into the pillow but shivered to feel so cold… she reached out for Hope, but there was only emptiness. Confused and sleepy, Lizzie moved her head up, and poked an eye open to see that her girlfriend wasn’t there.
Hope wouldn’t usually get up from bed without filling her face with kisses to wake her up… but sometimes she’d do it, just to bring breakfast to bed for them… so Lizzie yawned and stretched her arms.
“Baby? Come back to bed… breakfast can wait.”
She rolled around in the bed to reach out for Hope’s pillow and hugged it to her chest, waiting to hear the auburnette’s clumsy steps on the wooden floor, but there was only silence.
Lizzie frowned and opened her eyes again.
“Hope?”
Letting go of the pillow, Lizzie sat up… the place where she’d been staying wasn’t that big, and didn’t have many walls, so she could see the kitchen from here… and it was empty.
Weird.
But Hope could’ve gone out to buy things that she’d run out, and so when Lizzie was about to get up from bed, she caught sight of the letter on the nightstand… with her name on it, written by Hope’s handwriting.
Lizzie’s heart sank.
What was happening?
Quickly taking the letter and opening the folded paper, she found more of Hope’s handwriting there… but her heart was sinking more and more with each word that she was reading.
Lizzie,
I’m so sorry I’m doing this… that you’re finding out like this, but there was no other way.
I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to you on your face. I’m a coward, I know. But I couldn’t have left if I looked at your eyes, or if I heard your voice… writing this is breaking me already, knowing how much it’ll hurt you… I’m so sorry.
It’s my family. I think you’ve figured it out already, but they’re into… illegal things. I ran from them to take a break from all that, because I don’t want to be part of it, I don’t want to be like them… but I’m still a Mikaelson, I can’t run away from that.
My dad got into some deep… things again, things that can put me in danger for the people coming after him, and therefore me. I don’t care about that, but I do care about you. More than anything… that’s why I have to leave like this. It’s bad enough I gave you my real name, but I didn’t want to lie like that. Not to you.
I wish I could’ve got away from all that definitely, to go with you, to follow you anywhere you wanted to, but I can’t, not for now.
I’ll come back to you as soon as I can, Lizzie. If you want me to.
But if you don’t want to see me again for doing this, I understand too.
You deserve better than this, but you gave me in these three months much more than I deserved, and for that I’m forever grateful.
You were right; it was all too fast and intense… and shorter than I’d ever want, but I wouldn’t have had it otherwise. I wouldn’t trade these three months for anything; I could be the best version of myself with you… that’s who I truly want to be, and you helped me bring that into light every day for the past months.
You were my real, best muse, Lizzie Saltzman.
There will be never enough summers to show you how deeply in love I am with you, but I do hope I can keep showing it to you, someday.
You’ll still be my muse, every day.
Always yours,
Hope.
By the time that Lizzie finished reading the letter, there were so many teardrops on it that some of the letters were getting blurred… she looked up, and her heart broke – even more – to see what was on the chair, right in front of the bed.
It was Hope’s sketchbook… the first page of it, with the drawing she’d made of her, the yellow color blurred and old in the hair, but the blue in the eyes still as clear and bright as the first day… as the day they met each other in that coffee shop, with the signature at the end of it.
Lizzie the Muse.