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Maggie has always had a difficult relationship with sleep.
As a kid, she hated bedtime. She’d always give her parents a hard time when putting her to bed. This stemmed from the frequent nightmares she’d have. She can’t remember what they were about now, but she remembered the fear she’d wake up with that would usually linger for a few hours.
Once the end of the world happened, Maggie’s sleeping habits didn’t get much better. Since danger was a constant threat, it was hard to actually stay asleep long enough to feel rested. Although, it was a bit easier to actually get to sleep. Glenn helped with the nightmares. His presence soothed Maggie and her mind enough to leave her dreams peaceful.
But then her daddy died. And then Beth. And now Glenn is gone, too. Her nightmares were at their worst in between Glenn dying and Hershel’s birth.
After having her and Glenn’s son, the nightmares lessened. Hershel aided Maggie in more ways than he would ever know. The constant pain eating away at her heart abating ever so slightly anytime she saw him smile.
But now, Hershel has been taken and Maggie doesn’t know if he’s alright. To make it worse, she has to work with Negan to get him back. With all these compounding factors, it’s easy to see that Maggie was not doing well.
Now, whenever Maggie sleeps, all she sees is Glenn dying in the most horrific way possible and her son screaming for help that she couldn’t give him.
Unfortunately, Maggie doesn’t really have the option to forgo sleep. She needs her rest, at least as much as she can get. Negan offers to take the first watch, so Maggie starts to relax. Right before Maggie slips off into sleep, she says a silent prayer, hoping for an end to the nightmares that she fears may never come.
Within her dream, Maggie wakes up in her room in Alexandria.
Well, this is different , Maggie thinks to herself.
As Maggie starts to get out of the bed, the door starts to open. As if she’s seen this before, Maggie somehow knows who’s behind the door.
“Glenn? Is that you?”
Maggie braces herself to see Glenn’s face. She’s scared that she’ll see his broken and crushed appearance once again. However, as he comes into the moonlight, she sees the boy she fell in love with all those years ago.
“Hey Maggie,” he said, smiling softly.
Maggie gasps, “Is it really you?”
“I told you I’d find you,” Glenn says as he sits down on the bed next to her.
Maggie tentatively reaches out. She grabs his hand and he pulls her into him. His voice, his smell, and his hugs were all things Maggie was scared of forgetting, but now they’re all here in front of her.
Maggie starts to cry, and Glenn pulls away slightly to wipe her tears.
“Glenn, I’m - I’m so sorry,” Maggie chokes out in between tears.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“I feel like everything is my fault.”
Glenn looks confused as he pushes Maggie’s hair out of her face, “Why’s that, love?”
“You should be here. It’s my fault you aren’t here. And now it’s my fault our son was taken. I can’t do this without you, I never could.”
Glenn lifts Maggie’s chin so she can look into his eyes, “Maggie, it’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault except Negan’s. And it’s not your fault that Hershel’s gone. You know that, right?”
Maggie nods to appease him, but she still has some reservations.
“It’s not fair that you have to do this all by yourself and that I’m not here with you. I’m sorry you’ve had to handle this grief on your own. But Maggie, you are an amazing mother and a wonderful leader. And I’m so proud of you,” Glenn smiles.
Maggie softly smiles back at him. She missed talking with him. She missed being in his arms. She missed everything about him.
“Hershel is who he is because of you. You did that, Maggie. I’m so proud of both of you,” Glenn’s tearing up now, thinking about all the moments he has lost.
“And you know what, Maggie? You’re going to find him. You’ll get him back. I have complete faith in you.”
“You know, you were the one that was good at finding others,” Maggie jokes.
“Hey, you aren’t giving yourself enough credit,” Glenn laughs along, knowing full well that they worked together to find each other those countless times they were separated.
Maggie smiles, soaking this moment in. She takes a hold of his hands again, “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Maggie. But, I’m here. I’m always with you. Even if you can’t see me.”
Glenn pulls her into a hug that she reciprocates. The two stay there for a while, holding on to each other, neither of them wanting this moment to end.
Glenn senses that Maggie will wake up soon, so he pulls away to look into her eyes, “I have to go soon,” he says with a sad expression.
“Okay,” Maggie manages to say as the tears start forming once again.
“Hey,” Glenn says, causing Maggie to look up at him, “I love you. And I’ll be waiting for you. Once it’s your time.”
“I love you too, Glenn. I’ll never stop loving you.”
Maggie moves to kiss him. The two melt into the kiss, appreciating something that both of them thought they’d never have again.
Maggie rests her forehead against his after they part, “Can you hold me until I wake up?”
Glenn smiles and pulls her into his embrace, “Anything for you.”
Before she knows it, Maggie is awake and back in the rotting downtown of Manhattan. Negan and her switch positions, giving Maggie time to think about her dream.
Maggie knows that she’ll probably have nightmares of Glenn again, despite him visiting her dreams tonight. She’s been through too much to be naive enough to believe that. She also realizes that she may never see him again until it’s time for her to leave this earth. But, he gave her the strength to carry on, to keep pushing through, to keep fighting even though everything seems so hopeless. Maggie has a new sense of determination now, and she knows one thing for sure.
She’s going to get their son back. Whatever it takes.