Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Abe walked to his locker, sulking. Just another day of seeing JFK and Joan together. It was torture, really. He loved Joan so much, and the fact that she was with JFK just felt like a stab in the gut. He let out a sigh, trying to ignore it like he did every other day. Before he could open his locker, though, there was a surprise. Well, not really.

Topher opened the locker right before he did, sitting inside it for..who knows how long. Abe was pretty used to this actually, though he had no idea how he did it. “What’s wrong? You look like a pathetic wet cat.” Topher asked bluntly, as if what he was doing wasn’t weird at all. “Y’know that girl Joan? My crush?” Abe asked. Topher rolled his eyes and grit his teeth. Abe talked about Joan so much it was irritating.

Truly, he wasn’t sure why it upset him so much. Sure, he wasn’t much for romance, but the way Abe would speak about Joan made him feel…Bad, for some reason. Jealous, almost. He really wasn’t sure why. It’s not like he had a crush on Joan or anything, so it didn’t make much sense why it made his stomach feel all weird. He never thought about it much. “She’s all you talk about, of course I know.” The shorter of the two groaned.

“Well, I just get so…Jealous seeing her with JFK! Is that bad?” Lincoln asked, as if he wasn’t speaking to the guy with the most warped morals known to man. Topher shrugged. “If it makes you jealous, just make her jealous back. Duh.” Topher stated, he didn’t have any dating experience at all, so he wasn’t very qualified to try and tell Abe what he should do.

“I guess you’re right. But how would I make her jealous?” The taller thought aloud, putting his hand on his chin. Topher was already sick of talking about this, not caring at all about Abe’s petty love problems. Before he could say as much, Abe seemed to get an idea. How swell.

“I know! I can date someone else, she’ll be totally jealous and want me back!” Abe decided, a goofy grin on his face. As much as Topher liked seeing that grin, (was that weird? Maybe) that might be the dumbest idea he’d ever heard. It sounded like it came from some bad drama show, so much that Topher scoffed hearing it. “But…Who would I even get to carry out a plan like that?” He sighed, looking a little dejected.

Now, you’d think after everything, Topher would want no part in this plan. This stupid, moronic, definitely not going to work plan. And so did he. And yet, his lips moved before his brain could even process it. Like some part of him deep down always wanted to hear those combination of words come from his best friends mouth, and he said two simple words.

“I could.”

Topher wanted to take them back the second he said them, but it was too late. Abe looked up at him, as shocked as Topher was that he’d said that. An uncomfortable silence was shared between the two of them, and instead of pretending like it was some joke, or just walking off, Topher doubled down. “I mean, it would make sense, right? We’ve been hanging out, so it’s not like Joan would question it. And, we aren’t actually dating, so it’s not like, gay or anything.” The boy rambled, trying to hide the obvious nervousness that was flowing through his veins.

Abe stayed quiet for a bit, as if thinking it over. “Well, I mean, if you’re okay with it, and it doesn’t make us gay…” Abe trailed off, seemingly thinking it over. “We still need to plan it out more, but, yeah. Sounds good to me.” He finally said, not looking at Topher. The boy that, for whatever reason, was still in the locker felt like his stomach was doing backflips. He was actually about to…Fake-date Abe? Why was he cautiously excited about that?

“Oh, by the way, could you hand me my chemistry textbook. Can’t really get it with you in the way.” Abe asked, causing Topher to snap out of his thoughts. “Oh, yeah. Right.” Topher was so used to it that he already had the book in his hand, and he handed it to the taller of the two. “I’ll, uh, text you about the…Whole thing later.” Abe said, quietly. “Also, stop sneaking in my locker. It’s weird.”

“I won’t stop, fuck you.” Topher replied, slamming the locker door shut. He hadn’t thought of the fact that slamming it shut meant that he’d have to wait until Abe left so it wouldn’t be awkward. All things considered, he wasn’t very good at planning things. As he sat in that rather cramped locker, all he could think about was the fact that he was now unofficially fake-dating Abe. They weren’t even actually dating, why was he so excited about this?! It was just some plan so Abe could finally get with Joan.

The realization of that fact made Topher feel a little bit sick. He was basically just a wingman with extra steps, he hated that. But why did he hate that so much? It shouldn’t even be that big of a deal, he knew for a fact he didn’t like Joan, he’d talked to her what? Once, maybe twice? So why did he feel this way? He pulled his beanie over his eyes and groaned. This sucked, and he wasn’t even sure why.

He realized that by this time, Abe had already left, and he was going to be late for class if he didn’t hurry up and get outta there. He opened the locker door, jumped down and speed walked to class, trying to push the confusing thoughts of his to the back of his brain, or get rid of them altogether. Of course, it didn’t work, but it was worth a try.

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Abe sat in his chemistry class, though he wasn’t listening to a single word the teacher was saying. All he could think about was the fact that he and Topher were supposed to fake-date. It wasn’t gay, of course, he was just doing this so Joan would want him back, but it made him feel a bit funny. Topher offered to participate in the plan so quickly, but it wasn’t like he objected to it. Plus, it could just be Topher being a supportive friend. He was just overthinking it, surely.

He decided to fully ignore the teacher and text Topher about the plans. They couldn’t act like they were actually dating of course, but it had to be believable. So, no kissing, but maybe pet names? They already held hands, usually initiated by Topher, so that wasn’t something to think about. Maybe they’d hug? Go on fake dates? Give gifts? Yeah, that sounded about right.

He texted Topher as such, trying to make it incredibly clear that it was all for the sake of the plan and “not in a weird way.” Every-time he texted that though, he felt a bit bad. He wasn’t really sure why, maybe because this plan could come off as a little douchey. He wasn’t a douche, was he? Either way, he sent the message, which was read almost instantly. He waited for Topher to respond, feeling incredibly anxious while waiting.

It figured Topher would only respond with a simple “ok.” He was never one for long responses. He looked away from his phone and tried to pay attention to the lesson, but was totally lost on what was going on. He decided that the two could speak more about the plan when they got to lunch, speaking face to face would be more productive, after all.

The time finally came, and Abe went straight for the table him and Topher sat at. Nobody else ever sat there, probably because Topher didn’t have any friends outside of Abe. It occurred to him then that he was Topher’s only friend. What did he do before he was unfrozen? He chose not to think about it. He sat next to the shorter of the two, which didn’t surprise Topher at all. They sat next to each other basically all the time.

“So, I was thinking, like, when someone asks how we got together…What should we tell them?” Abe asked, which caused Topher to choke on his food a bit. He quickly composed himself, hitting his chest a bit. “Err…” Topher thought a bit. He hadn’t thought about that, at all. Wasn’t it kinda weird to be making up scenarios where you and your friend get together? Even if it was for some dumb plan.

“You remember that sleepover we had one time? We can say it happened there. We were just looking at each other, and it y’know, happened.” Topher described, choosing to look down at his food instead of his friend. It seemed too embarrassing to look at him in the eye when describing how they’d fall in love. It felt so damn weird thinking about it, bittersweet in an odd totally-not-gay way.

After he was done, Topher looked over to his taller friend nervously, who was looking at him with an eyebrow raised. Oh no, oh fuck. Abe was gonna think he was weird and he’d stop being this friend, and then he’d be back to having nobody and eating lunch alone. Great job, Topher, he thought to himself. “Are you like, a romance writer? I wouldn’t have been able to come up with that on the spot so quickly!” Abe chuckled, and suddenly Topher’s anxiety washed away. Topher loved hearing Abe laugh like that, he was such a dork, but it was incredibly charming to them.

“Shut up, you asked for my help, I gave it, simple as that.” Topher rolled his eyes, but his grin was so obvious that it was clear it was a joke. “Oh! What pet names should we use, like, is just Toph good? Or should we be more cheesy and say babe, or is that too gay?” Abe asked, taking a bite out of his lunch like he just said the most casual thing in the world. Despite that Topher’s face was as red as a tomato. It was one of the first times his face ever had some color in it, due to how pale he naturally was. “I- uh- er-” He fumbled terribly over his words, trying his best not to show how utterly bamboozled he was by Abe’s words.

He cleared his throat, attempting and failing to compose himself. “Just- just Toph is alright.” He stuttered, feeling how hot his face was. He tried to pull his beanie down to cover his face, though he knew it wasn’t working. “Got it.” Lincoln replied, oblivious as ever. Topher went back to eating his lunch, deciding to change the subject afterwards. Abe didn’t have any objections, so the rest of their lunch went smoothly.

As the boy walked home, the conversations he’d had with Abe at his locker and at lunch replayed in his mind. He felt so…Confused. For some reason, the idea of Abe calling him babe didn’t disgust him or weird him out, but instead flustered him? He was sort of looking forward to playing pretend as a couple with Abe, but he couldn’t decipher why. He usually found cheesy, over the top couple schmuck to be corny and gross, so why was he damn near giddy over this. He opened the door to his house, still not being able to decipher what it all meant.

“Well hiya there Topher!! What’s got you all glum, hm?” His mother asked in a sing-song tone, causing the teen to groan. “Nothing, jeez mom! I’m going to my room, leave me alone!” Topher grit his teeth and stomped his way upstairs, going to his room and slamming the door. He’d usually go online the second he got home like usual, but he wasn’t in the mood for that. He wanted some way to get that knot that was forming in his stomach to go away, and arguing with people online didn’t feel like it would fix that.

So instead, he laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering what the hell it all meant.

Chapter Text

Abe walked to his locker, expecting Topher to pop up out of it as he usually did. Instead, Topher was getting something out of his locker like a normal person. Topher Bus was really the only person that could make doing something that was actually normal out of the ordinary.

“Okay, remember Topher, if anyone comes over here, we have to tell them we’re a thing.” Abe stated, as if Topher hadn’t been thinking about it all night. Not like he’d ever tell him that. “Yeah, yeah, I get it Abe. Don’t see how we’d ever get the opportunity for something like-” Topher was quickly cut off by a familiar pink-haired girl by the name of Harriet, who he could tell just by her face that she wanted to tell the two something.

“Hi Abe! Hi Topher! So, Frida and I are organizing this big party for everyone as one big bonding experience! We just wanted to know if you guys wanted to come!” She explained. Topher was originally going to decline. He hated parties, mainly because of people, but the loud music didn’t help either. but he could tell by the stupid look on Abe’s face that he was going to say something stupid. “Well,of course I’d want to go with my boyfriend! Right, Toph?” And of course, Topher was right. He glared at Abe for a few seconds, before turning his attention back to the woman in front of them. “…Yep.” He said, a mix of a sigh and a groan.

Harriet looked absolutely bewildered, her hand over her mouth. “You two are dating?” She questioned, as if she didn’t believe them. Topher really couldn’t blame her, though the thought of someone thinking he and Abe were actually together made him feel oddly nice. “Yep! Totally, definitely, without any room for doubt-“ Abe was about to keep listing off phrases, but Topher slapped his hand over his mouth before he could embarrass himself anymore. “What he’s saying is yes, we’re dating.” Topher stated, giving an awkward smile.

“Wow, I didn’t think anyone could stand you enough to date you, Topher. Good for you! The party will be at 8 at Frida’s house, see you there!” She smiled, handing the two flyers. Topher scowled at the first sentence, but it wasn’t like she was wrong in thinking that. Unbeknownst to her, the two weren’t even actually together, but she didn’t know that. Harriet walked away while waving at the two, going off to ask Jesús Christo the same question she asked them. Abe waved back, because of course he did.

“Wanna explain why you did that, genius?” The shorter clone grumbled, gripping the flyer like his life depended on it. “We had to tell someone we’re dating, and plus! Joan is definitely gonna be there.” Abe answered, still reading the flyer. “It won’t kill you to go to a party, will it?” Abe teased, raising an eyebrow. “It might. Just next time we have to talk about it, leave the lying to me, Mr.Honest Abe.” Topher groaned, shoving the flyer in his pocket.

“I guess I’ll pick you up at 8 so we can go to the party?” Lincoln asked, turning his head to the side like he was a curious dog. The wording made Topher’s stomach do a backflip, but he pretended as if it didn’t. “Sure, whatever Lincoln.” Despite how dismissive he was, he couldn’t pretend like he wasn’t incredibly nervous to go with Abe to a party. Was he supposed to be formal, or just wear what he usually always did? Maybe a mix of both? Whatever, he didn’t want to think about it. The two departed to go to their classes, Topher’s thoughts being a jumble of what had just happened, and the fact that he forgot o study for the test he had today. Son of a bitch.

Topher sat by himself at lunch like usual, waiting for Abe to come sit next to him like he always did. As he did, though, he noticed the table in front of him, which included Harriet, Confucius, Joan of Arc, JFK, and a few others, speaking about something while looking back at him a few times. Somehow, he could just tell it was about the fact Abe had told Harriet that they were dating. He knew telling that to one of the chattiest people in the school was a horrible idea, he just wished Abe had enough braincells to realize that too. He pulled his beanie down slightly, going back to eating.

Abe showed up not long after, trying to explain that he had to go to the bathroom, which was why he was late. Though before he could properly speak, Topher promptly grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him down to his height. “Great going, dimwit. Now not only does Harriet know, but everyone at that table knows- ahem. Thinks we’re dating! Who knows who else they’ll tell!” He whisper-shouted. “Well, isn’t that kinda the point?” Abe questioned, turning his head to the side. “Not THIS many people were supposed to know you- ugh.” Topher simply groaned, letting Abe’s shirt go and slamming his head on the table.

That was a terrible idea, because now he had a headache. Why was he so horrible at making decisions all of a sudden? Unfortunately for him, Abe really couldn’t tell why he was so upset about it. The plan was working out, wasn’t it? “Hey, when we’re done and Joan wants me back, we can stage some super dramatic fake break-up!” Abe assured, his signature dumb grin on his face. “Whatever” Topher groaned, keeping his head on the table. Somehow, he felt more embarrassed that people were talking about him at all rather than the fact that they were talking about him and Abe dating.

The thought of him actually dating Abe made his heart pound in his chest like it was trying to escape, to the point he was wondering if he had heart problems. He really had to figure out what that meant, it was starting to become concerning. “Did you pass out, or?” Lincoln asked, putting his hand on Topher’s hair, running his fingers through it as he did. The shorter clone wasn’t sure why he loved that action. “No, I’m just trying to find the best way to kill you for dragging me along with this.” Topher sighed, deciding not to push the tallers hand away.

Abe kept his hand in Topher’s hair for just a bit longer. It was pretty damn tangled, definitely a hair stylists nightmare, but it was still soft, and he liked getting his fingers tangled in the curls. Although Topher hadn’t said anything about his hand placement, he simply assumed it bothered him, so he moved his hand out of his head.

Chapter Text

Parties were weird. Maybe Topher only felt that way because he was rarely ever invited to any, but being crammed in a small space with a bunch of screaming people his age didn’t seem fun to him. But he had to go, it’d be a pretty dick move to just randomly call off his plans with Abe to go to Frida and Harriet’s party, this entire scheme was just to help his friend, after all.

Friend. Why did he feel so melancholy when he described Abe that way?

Topher dressed up in a casual suit. It was nothing fancy, obviously, but he wanted to look good for him and Abe’s…Outing. Of course, he kept his beanie on, it was apart of his signature look. He didn’t care too much about his appearance most of the time, evident by his usually messy hair, deep eye-bags, and basic attire. And yet, this one time, he actually tried to make himself look good. The most he could do was detangle his hair, a frustrating and rather painful process, but he felt it was worth it.

When he finally heard the knocks that he was sure came from Abe, he suddenly became incredibly giddy. He ran downstairs, opening the door with an embarrassingly wide grin on his face.

Abe was wearing a simple white button-up with black slacks. It looked good on him, Topher thought in a totally heterosexual best friend way. “You ready Topher?” The tall clone asked, an excited grin on his face. Topher blushed at the thought that Abe was excited because he’d be going to the party with him specifically. “You have no idea.” Topher snickered, rolling his eyes affectionately.

“Have fun on your little date honey!” His mother said, causing Topher’s face to turn embarrassingly red. “SHUT UP MOM!” The shorter teen yelled, grabbing Abe’s hand and stomping away. Seeing his friend so flustered made Abe chuckle, a faint blush on his cheeks when he realized he found him oddly cute.

By the time they’d made it to Frida’s house, the party was already raging on, Confucius doing one of his dumb livestreams. Topher kept his grip on Abe’s hand, as if losing Abe in the crowd was a possibility with how damn tall he was. “So, what exactly are we supposed to be doing here?” The Columbus clone questioned, the hand not holding Abe’s on his hip. He got no answer, and when he looked up, his eyes seemed to be scanning the crowd.

“There’s Joan! Hey buddy, you don’t mind if I go talk to her do you?” Abe asked, pointing in the direction of where Joan was.

Oh, right. Of course.

“Yeah, whatever.” Topher muttered, letting go of Abe’s hand and not bothering to watch as he walked away. Somehow he’d forgotten that this was never about just him and Abe, it was about getting Abe with Joan. He knew this, he knew that’s all the plan was about, so why did he feel so upset that Abe didn’t wanna hang out with him? He walked over the a corner and stood there, silently hoping that Abe would stop speaking to Joan and come back to him.

Meanwhile, Abe was preparing himself to finally speak to Joan. Before he could approach here, she noticed him first, lighting tapping him on the shoulder. Abe jumped slightly, nervously waving at the red-haired girl. “Hey Abe! I heard you’re dating Topher now?” She asked. Abe nodded, leaning on the wall in an attempt to make himself look cool. “Yep! Totally a couple, absolutely.” He cringed at himself, Topher was right, he was an absolutely horrible liar. Joan didn’t seem to notice, though.

“I’m happy you found someone right for you, Abe. Even if the person right for you is a short weird guy.” Joan smiled, completely sincerely. That was weird, wasn’t she supposed to be wanting him back by now? The plan seemed flawless in his eyes, so why wasn’t it working? He tried to play it off with an unintentionally nervous chuckle, no longer leaning on the wall. “Well, uh, I’m gonna go back! With Topher! My totally real boyfriend,” Lincoln looked back at where Topher should be, but oddly enough, he wasn’t there. His eyes quickly scanned the room, but he couldn’t find his friend anywhere. “…Wherever he is.”

Topher walked back home, kicking a pebble as he did, muttering words of anger under his breath. Stupid Abe, stupid Joan, stupid him.
He felt guilty for leaving his friend back there, but it was clear he was more focused on Joan than he was on him. He couldn’t wrap his head around why specifically he was so upset, though. Sure, he didn’t like how much his friend simped for Joan, but he felt hurt by this. He should’ve known they weren’t going to hang out, that was never the plan, and yet he was still upset that they didn’t. God, why were his emotions so out of wack? It was starting to get irritating.

The clone decided to sit on the bench, trying to sort his thoughts out. Okay, he knew he didn’t have a crush on Joan, that couldn’t be why he was so distraught by this. Was he really just so lonely that he got upset that Abe didn’t want to hang out with him at some stupid party? Maybe that was apart of it, but it felt like it was more than that. Think, Topher, think.

His heart dropped at the realization, and he suddenly felt incredibly sick.

He had a crush on Abe.

It made a disgusting amount of sense in hindsight. Topher was sure he’d been ignoring the obvious, just subconsciously. Still, the reality of the situation made him feel like he was about to throw up. He quickly speed-walked home, ignoring the notifications that he knew were text messages from Abe. When he finally got home, he didn’t even pay attention to his mother, who he’d usually be ready to tell her off for the smallest of things.

He rushed to his room, slamming the door behind him, throwing his beanie to the side in anger and throwing himself on the bed. Why, why, why did he have to crush on Abraham fucking Lincoln?! He screamed into his pillow, ultimately giving himself a headache. Once again, horrible decision maker.

If there was one thing that was good about the headache, it was that it caused a need for sleep so the ache of it could go away. Topher practically forced himself to sleep, somehow attempting to sleep his issues away.

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Abe couldn’t help but be worried about Topher. At first he was upset that his friend left the party without him knowing, but that anger soon turned to concern after he hadn’t answered his phone all night. He didn’t want to seem obsessive by constantly texting him and asking if he was alright, so he decided he’d wait until morning to check up on him again.

When morning did eventually come around, Topher still hadn’t answered. In fact, his messages hadn’t even been read. Topher was usually always online when he got home, on phone or on computer, so that was slightly worrying. He decided this was the time to call him, just to make sure everything was okay.

Topher woke up to the sound of his ringtone, slightly muffled due to the fact his phone was on his pocket. Oh right, he never changed his clothes last night. He took his device out of his pocket and looked at who could possibly be calling him at this time of day. Of course, who else but his friend who he definitely had normal platonic feelings towards, Abe Lincoln. Topher braced himself to be chewed out for ditching him. Fair. Topher answered the phone, almost completely sure Abe would hate him. And yet…

“Hi Abe.” He groaned, the sleep in his voice clear as day. “Hey Topher, you doing okay? You just left the party and didn’t answer your phone.” Abe asked, clearly concerned. Topher paused for a second. Abe was…Concerned about him? The thought made him feel nice, though for once he understood why. “I was having…Stomach issues. And I didn’t want to bother you while you were flirting with Joan.” Hey, it wasn’t a total lie. Just a stretching of the truth.

“Oh, well I hope you’re doing okay now.” Abe wasn’t completely sure if he believed his friend, and it was clear in his tone. An awkward silence fell between the two of them. Topher quickly found something to talk about, which was unnatural due to the fact he’s usually horrible at any type of social interaction.

“How did your talk with Joan go?” The Columbus clone asked, internally hoping that it went horribly. Maybe his therapist was right about needing to unpack some of his issues. “Not the best. It’s like, she didn’t even care that I moved on! Do we have to do more romantic things?” Abe answered. If there was a drink for Topher to spit out, he would’ve spit it out right at that moment.

“Uh- er- yeah! More romantic stuff, that’ll sway her to realize that she misses you and she’ll break up with JFK.” Topher assured, completely lying through his teeth. He hadn’t talked to Joan much, mainly because most people would prefer not to be in any close proximity to Topher, but he didn’t take her for the kinda gal to fall for some poorly thought out fake-dating scheme. Still, he wants to hang out with Abe more, even if it’s just for Abe’s crush on Joan.

“Thanks for being such a supportive friend through all of this Topher. This plan wouldn’t be going so well without you.” Abe said, the use of the word friend making Topher die inside a little. “Yep, don’t mention it. Anyway, I gotta go. My mom’s calling me or- whatever.” And with that, Topher abruptly hung up the phone. He was so stupid. He knew Abe would never like him that way, he was too hung up on Joan, and that’s how it would probably stay.

Abe could tell there was something up with his friend. The biggest red flag was him saying his mom was calling him, he hated his mom way too much to ever listen to her when she called him. Why was he acting like this though? Did he have a crush on Joan? In fact, on the topic of Joan…

Why hadn’t his plan worked? Don’t girls get upset seeing that you’re dating somebody else? Instead she seemed happy for him, why couldn’t she just be petty like other girls? He thought about the situation for a while, what could he possibly do to get her all jealous? He thought about the idea of kissing Topher in front of her, but he felt as if Topher would never agree to something like that. Weird, he didn’t actually mind the idea of kissing Topher as much as he thought he would.

Maybe he could say he was taking Topher on a date? There was two upsides to that, he would make Joan jealous and he’d be able to hang out with his best bud! The clone started fantasizing about the idea about finally being able to date Joan…But there was something off about it. He felt neutral, almost nothing when he thought about being with the girl he’d wanted for (technically) 20 years. Had he gotten over her?

What could’ve made him get over her? He didn’t like anyone else, he was sure of it. Maybe he was just having an off day, that was surely what was going on. When he got to school on Monday and saw Joan again, all those feelings would come flooding back.

Definitely.

Chapter Text

Monday eventually rolled around, as usual, Topher was in Abe’s locker. It was comfy in there, or at least Topher felt like it was. Abe opened the door of his locker, completely unfazed by the fact Topher was there. “Hey, Topher, so about the whole doing more romantic things idea…” He started, the memory causing Topher to cringe a little. “What should we do? I mean, I’m preeeetty sure you don’t want to kiss me or anything like that.” Abe shrugged as he said it. Topher’s eye twitched, thinking about how Abe had no idea how badly he wanted to.

“Well, since you’re horrible at lying and I have a huge amount of experience lying on the Internet, you should allow me to do the honors of detailing our relationship.” Topher suggested, putting his hand on his chest with a stupidest smug grin on his face. He couldn’t help but brag, it was simply in his nature. “Well you better be able to lie on the spot, because Joan is walking up to us right now.” Abe stated rather bluntly, pointing over to her. Topher’s eyes widened, attempting to look at the direction Abe was pointing in, but awkwardly falling out of the locker instead. He rubbed his forehead in pain, grumbling curses to himself.

“Uh, are you okay?” Joan questioned, pointing to him. Topher quickly got up, pulling his beanie down to cover the massive bruise on it. “Yep.” He groaned, he didn’t even have to speak to make the conversation awkward, how the hell is that possible? “Anwyay, I’m just here to say again that I’m really happy for the both of you! You seem much happier with him than you were with Cleo…” She said Cleo’s name with the same tone as you’d say an insult, but she quickly moved on. “And even though Topher is the human version of a possum, you two seem really good for each other.” Topher would’ve gotten upset, but it’s the most favorable animal he’s been compared to, so he decided to take it as a compliment.

“Well thank you Joan, we’ve been very happy, haven’t we babe!” Topher ignored how hard he was cringing on the inside to hold Abe’s hand, his other hand placed on his hip for effect. Even if he was dating Abe, calling him names like that was just too cheesy for him to ignore. Meanwhile, Abe felt his cheeks name up at the nickname. He liked Topher calling him that, which definitely wasn’t weird at all. “Yep! We’ve been doing all the basic couple things! Like going on dates and sharing food!” Abe confirmed, not being a totally terrible liar for once.

“Okay okay, don’t give me alll the details.” Joan teased, chuckling. “Just, wanted to tell you two I support you guys. Talk to you later, Abe!” With that, she walked away, waving goodbye to Abe. Abe smiled as he waved back to her, but his smile soon dropped once she was back to talking with JFK. Topher let go of his hand, the action of doing romantic things soured by the fact that it was, in fact, fake. Abe seemed mildly upset too, but Topher assumed it was just because his crush went back to talking with her boyfriend.

“Ahem. Anyways. I’m going to my class, sorry Joan isn’t head over heels in love with you yet.” He said bluntly, walking away with a specific kind of pain in his heart. “Yeah, yeah…” Abe drawled, rather dismissively. He was too stuck in his own head to give an actual response. He practically zoned out, finally coming to terms with an undeniable fact.

He didn’t like Joan anymore.

Even as he was speaking to her, the two of them a few feet away from each other, he didn’t feel anything romantic. Was that really just it? He’d just gotten over her like that? As Abe walked to his class, he felt more confused than upset about suddenly losing his crush on Joan. Simply wondering what could’ve caused it.

As he sat down at his seat, the realization dawned on him that this meant that he and Topher would have to stop fake dating. The thought made him sad, for some reason. He actually liked doing silly romantic things with Topher, did he really have to tell him it was over?

Wait, why was he treating it like an actual break up when it wasn’t? It was just a dumb plan he made up so he could get back with Joan, which he didn’t even want to do anymore. And it’s not like Topher would care anyway, would he? Why was his brain being so damn weird right now? Why did he have so many questions? Abe let out a small groan, the last few days felt so confusing and he couldn’t for the life of him understand why.

Lunchtime came around, and Topher was sitting alone waiting for Abe like usual. He internally wondered how many people knew, or thought, they were dating. Harriet definitely told some other people, and Confucius probably did too. Whatever. Even thinking about the whole fake dating seemed to worsen his mood, to the point he began to wish that he’d never realized he had a stupid crush on Abe. It felt like it was just causing more problems, at this point.

“Hey Topher, you feeling alright? You look a little down.” Abe asked, sitting next to the shorter clone. Topher shrugged. “Just tired. Had a test today.” Topher answered, using his fork to play around with the food in his tray. “I’ve been pretty messed up today too, guess we’re the same, huh?” Abe wrapped his arm around Topher’s shoulder. Topher hated people touching him most of the time, but it was definitely welcome when Abe did it. He leaned into it, resting his body on the side of Abe’s torso.

Abe looked down at Topher, seeing how peaceful and calm Topher looked was something he wasn’t really used to, but he enjoyed it. Now that he thought about it, he really enjoyed Topher’s company. His presence made Abe feel something that reminded him of how he felt while he had a crush on Joan. The thought of that made him realize something, something that made his face flush red.

He had a crush on Topher.

Chapter Text

As Abe walked home, he tried to think of the “best” way to tell Topher how he felt. He really wasn’t sure how to go about it, and he doubted that Topher even liked him. From what he knew, the shorter clone never showed any interest in him, and he was pretty sure he was great at picking up hints that someone was into him. Inviting him to dinner seemed too fancy, and he was broke as hell right now. Maybe he could just head over to Topher’s house for a sleepover again? Then again, his mom was pretty creepy, and he didn’t want him to stay on the computer the whole time…

He decided a sleepover at his house instead would be good, he just had to tidy up a bit around his room. He took his phone out of his pocket and texted Topher his idea, of course not clarifying he was planning on confessing to him. Topher quickly responded, with a simple thumbs up emoji. Abe internally prayed that this would go well, despite having the feeling it wouldn’t.

Topher paced around his room, just happy to hang out with Abe again, but that wasn’t the only reason he was happy. The second Abe sent him the message he had what felt like the perfect idea, confessing to him at their sleepover. It made sense in his mind, their friendship started at their first sleepover, and it would end at their second! Now that he thought about it, that’s a pretty weird way to say that they’d start dating. But what if Abe didn’t return his feelings, and when he said how he felt he wouldn’t be his friend anymore? He hated keeping his feelings in, but he hated losing Abe even more.

He had to wait until the perfect moment, he was sure of it.

When the time eventually came, Abe heard the soft knocks at someone at his door. Topher, for sure. He opened the door to see Topher in his usual clothes, with nothing else with him. It made sense Topher would just wear his usual clothes to bed, he seemed like the kinda guy. “Is that your friend son?” Abe’s foster father asked, or new foster father. He wasn’t sure what where his old foster parents were, but he had been frozen for 20 years, at this point he wouldn’t be surprised if they’d forgotten about him. “Yep! We’re gonna go to my room, if that’s okay.” Abe answered. “Just don’t be loud.” His foster father stated.

With that, Abe held his hand so Topher could hold it. Of course, Topher took his hand in his. They headed to Abe’s room, which was covered in blue with pictures of the original Abraham Lincoln all over the walls. Topher found it a bit concerning, but his wasn’t much better, his room was in the attic. “We can watch a movie, if you want! I’ve got a bunch of great movies, but they’re all from the early 2000’s, so you might not like them. Oh, I’ve got board hames too.” Abe offered, a bit nervous his crush wouldn’t like it. “A movie sounds great, you can choose whatever it is.” Topher said nonchalantly, even though he was internally freaking the fuck out.

Abe let go of Topher’s hand to search through his drawers. “You can sit on the bed, by the way.” He added, which gave the shorter clone a bit of relief. Again, he was not used to hanging out with people, so he wasn’t truly sure of what to do. Abe’s bed was comfortable, much more comfortable than his own. It was silent between the two of them for a while, before Topher spoke up. “Why do you have photos of your clone father all around your room?” He questioned, tilting his head.

“Oh, it’s just a reminder of who I’m supposed to be. There’s a lot to live up to, being the clone of a president, especially being the clone Abraham Lincoln. It’s kinda stressful.” Abe explained, pulling out a VHS tape. “I get that. Well, not completely. My clone father is a total douche bag, so I have to try and be better than him, but I’m clearly not doing that right.” Topher said, the reminder of his clone father making him a bit upset. “Well, if it means anything, I think you’re a pretty great guy.” Abe replied, giving Topher the most genuine smile he’d ever seen.

Topher’s cheeks turned red, incredibly flustered. He pulled his beanie down, wanting to say something rude, but he didn’t have it in him. “…Thank you.” He half-muttered, butterflies in his stomach. Abe put the VHS tape in the VHS player, sitting on the bed next to the Columbus clone. Topher took his beanie off, setting it on a dresser and leaned himself against Abe, feeling a sense of comfort from the action. Abe really wasn’t focused on the movie, he was more focused at looking at his crush.

He loved how Topher looked with his beanie off, his curly hair messy with some of it draped in front of his face. He put his hand in his hair again, not failing to see how Topher seemed to lean into the touch. Abe wanted to kiss him so, so bad. Still, he knew he had to confess to him first, the kissing would come after, hopefully. He allowed his fingers to become tangled in it, not like he wanted to move them anytime soon.

This had to be the right time, he thought to himself. Abe put all his anxiety to the side, this is when he’d confess, right here, right now. “Hey, uhm, Topher?” His voice cracked as he said it, maybe he wasn’t as confident as he thought. “Hm?” Topher hummed, looking up at him. Abe took a breath out, attempting to calm himself down. “You know that whole fake dating thing?” Abe questioned, looking away from the other teen. Topher felt a bit melancholy thinking about it, but braced himself for another extension of that dumb plan. “Yeah.” He answered, still looking at Abe.

Abe looked Topher in the eyes, undeniably nervous, but there was no way to go back now. “I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to be more than that, more than just friends. I…I love you, Topher.” He confessed. Topher was silent, the two simply stared into each other’s eyes for a while. Abe knew it, he knew his friend wouldn’t feel the same way, he was so dumb to think otherwise-

“Really? You- you mean it?” Topher asked, in a state of disbelief. Abe’s heart rate was so high it was worrying, does that mean he felt the same way? “Yes, I do. I get it if you don’t feel the same way, or if-” Before he could finish his ramblings, Topher cut him off by kissing him on his lips, holding the others face with his hands. He quickly pulled away from him, his face somehow as shocked as Abe’s, as if he had no control over his actions. “I’m- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just- done that.” Topher stammered, his face incredibly red.

“No, no, I wanted to kiss you too! Like, really badly.” Abe assured, an incredibly goofy grin spread on his face. “Actually, could we kiss again? Please?” The taller asked, still incredibly nervous. Topher nodded, and the two kisses again. Incredibly awkwardly, neither of them being very experienced, Topher especially, but it was good enough. They parted lips, both incredibly flustered. “Are we- uhm. Boyfriends now?” Topher stuttered, looking away. “Uh, yeah, I think!” Abe said, causing the shorter to chuckle. “You’re such a fucking dork.” Topher snickered.

“I guess we don’t have to worry about everyone knowing that we’re dating now? Since we’re actually dating now.” The shorter clone figured, looking back at the TV. “Fuck, I don’t know what’s going on anymore.” Topher groaned, nice to know he was actually interested in the movie. “We can just rewind it, y’know.” Abe said, grinning. “I don’t want you to move, I’ll just figure out what’s happening myself.” Topher insisted, causing the taller to laugh. “Alright, alright…” Abe continued to mess with Topher’s hair, turning back to watch the movie.